SIX YEARS AGO

Liv kept busy. School, work, a short string of casual boyfriends, the occasional party if she couldn't think of a reason to get out of it. The day after the dark-cloud-voices-speaking-to-her nightmare, she told Helina never to play the ghost frequency when she was present, and Helina, despite her confusion at Liv's vehement response, abided by her wishes.

Helina didn't drop her pursuit of the frequency, however, and if she were in the mood for honesty, Liv would admit that neither did she. Her own investigations were purely intellectual in nature. She poured over research papers and dove into the study of infrasound, learning where it could be heard in the natural world—earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, ocean waves. She researched how humans could create it with sonic booms and wind turbines.

The part of her that would never forget the terror of that night yearned for a less horrifying explanation than that she had connected with a malevolent force.

She never quite found what she was seeking. The closest she came was this theory: the strange sensations induced by the ghost frequency were a byproduct of the body's reaction to that soundwave and nothing more. It may feel like a paranormal experience, but that didn't mean it was one. This explanation appeased scientists and therefore should have been an acceptable answer to Liv, but it seemed only to say something might be true without proving the other possibility false.

In August, a month before beginning their junior year, Liv and Helina moved off campus into a tiny two-bedroom apartment above a tea shop. They slept on futon mattresses that were only marginally better than lying directly on the wood floor and scored a great deal of their furniture from curb sides. It was a happy, if humble, start. They didn't have a lot but had what they needed, the bulk of which was better suited to ghost hunting than typical college living.

Not far from their new apartment was the high school Liv's sister, Penelope attended. On days when either Helina or Liv might be home, Penelope made it a habit to walk there after school, park herself on the brown corduroy couch the former tenants had left behind, and chat with them about their paranormal investigations.

"How many ghosts have you seen? Do you, like, exorcise them for people? Do you really think you're communicating with them or is it all fake? Can you hire me to be your assistant?"

Liv's responses were always measured. "Ghosts don't often appear, we aren't priests, you'd have to judge for yourself," and finally... "maybe later."

Penelope hated that last answer, and so, she argued her case. "It's not like you can't afford part time help."

Could they though? Business wasn't bad, and their YouTube channel had begun to take off. But they weren't internet sensations yet. They had to make choices: real mattresses or upgraded video equipment. Tuition or dining out. Putting a high schooler on the payroll might mean they had to do without a new piece of tech down the line.

"We'd love if you helped!" Helina said.

Penelope squealed with excitement. Liv gave a tightlipped smile and pulled her friend into the kitchen to speak privately.

"Can we afford this?" she asked.

"For a few hours a week, sure. Besides, your sister is into this. We'd be encouraging her interests. She'd probably work for free if we wanted her to."

"That wouldn't be right, though."

"No, no, I'm not saying we should take advantage of her, I'm saying, money isn't the real issue here, is it?"

Fuck, Liv knew that tone: she was about to be psychoanalyzed. "What do you mean? What else would it be?"

Helina glanced towards the living room and Liv did the same. Her sister, earbuds in, had occupied herself with something on her phone while the two of them decided her fate.

"I love you Liv. Like, seriously. But sometimes I think you got into this whole paranormal business because you already know far more about it than you'll ever admit—to me or to yourself."

Taken aback, Liv flinched like Helina had just shined a flashlight at her face. "I'm just curious. I have an inquiring mind. That's why I'm studying science."

"All of that can be true along with what I just said."

"Except that what you said makes no sense to me."

Helina put the tea cannister she'd been fiddling down and a moment later, Liv found herself in one of Helina's embraces. Her body tensed even though she was used to her friend's conviction that hugs cured all of life's ills. "Liv, what am I going to do with you?"

"Finish this conversation from several feet away?"

Laughing, Helina pulled back. "Do you want to know what I really think you're afraid of?"

"Will it make a difference if I say no?"

"You're afraid of succeeding," Helina continued. "Because you, more than anyone we've encountered, knows that this is real. Because you've already experienced it firsthand."

The direction of this conversation made Liv want to take out the bottle of gin she had stashed under the kitchen sink and down it in one sitting. She rubbed sweaty hands against her jean shorts. "Bullshit. This has always been something I pursued because it was a fun."

"That's what I thought when I first met you." Helina shrugged. "Maybe I'm off base. But if so, you're the most haunted ghost-free person I've ever met."

"And what does any of this have to do with Penelope?"

Helina paused. Liv got the feeling she'd been mulling this all over for a while.

"You never talk about your childhood."

"Sure, I do."

"I mean, barely. You're from Beloit. Moved here with your mom when your father left twelve years ago. That's literally all you've ever said."

Liv opened the fridge and retrieved a beer. "That's all you need to know."

She waved her hand. "I'm not one to pry."

Twisted the cap off, took a swig. "You're prying right now."

"I'm speculating. Maybe something happened to you when you were a kid. Maybe something happened to Penelope. What I know—sorry, what I speculate, is that you have an ability. You've always had this ability. It's why you're drawn to paranormal research, but it's also why you're terrified of it. You're afraid Penelope has this gift too. And that," she slapped her hand down on the counter for emphasis, "is why you don't want her involved."

Liv took another sip, stared her friend down, let her body shake with anger. Helina could not be allowed to think she was right about any of this. "Hire her if you want then. My concerns are monetary only. If you think we can swing the cost of an employee, so be it."

Helina raised an eyebrow. "And you're other concern over her involvement?"

"It doesn't exist outside of your imagination."

"All right then, Penelope's hired. Maybe I'll even figure out a way to give her some backpay."

An alarm sounded from the shop downstairs. One of the store workers shut it off almost immediately, but it echoed in Liv's head for a long while after.

Hours, days, years.

"Backpay? For what?"

"Well," Helina said, "since you're not at all concerned and have no fears whatsoever, you won't mind that Pen and I have already been running some tests using the ghost frequency."

"You what?"

"No worries." She patted Liv's hand like she was a child needing reassurance that there were no monsters under her bed. "She was totally on board with it. It's no big deal."

"She's under eighteen, so I beg to differ. I want her editing videos and carrying our equipment to job sites for us. Consenting to become your lab rat should never have been on the table. When did this start?"

"Oh, come on, it's not like that, and it hasn't been long at all. Besides, you just claimed there's nothing to fear."

"We don't know—that's the problem, Helina." Goading Liv on this issue wouldn't end well. When she seethed, she could became a singularly minded nemesis. "You need to promise me you'll stop using her for this."

"Will you admit there's a real reason to be concerned?"

Sure. Lots. A lifetime's worth. But all Liv needed was one the Helina would buy. "The reason Penelope and I don't talk about our past is because it sucked. We both have panic attacks. Sometimes it's about our own ghosts—the ones from our past, not the otherworldly ones we're searching for. Penelope might seem fine. Strong, outgoing, confident. And that's because she is. She worked hard to get where she is now. But the littlest thing could set her back. Why would you want to be responsible for causing that?"

"I don't!"

A shift, a lightening of mood. Another hug from Helina. "I wish you'd share with me like that more often."

"Does this mean you'll keep 18.98 out of Penelope's brain?" Liv asked.

"We'll stick to video editing. I promise."

Liv took in a deep breath. Her world righted itself. She grabbed another beer from the fridge and handed it to her friend.

Helina might test her patience, but she would never betray her trust. Nightmares couldn't hurt her and neither would Helina.

What a twisted form of self-deception, she would think years later, to believe our friendship was enough to save us from ourselves.