The rest of the car ride was quiet. Dead fucking quiet. Given the passing comments I had already heard, it was obvious that Hunter and Ethan had a troubled relationship. But hearing it out loud that he hated his brother to that extreme of a level, was enough to send us both into an uncomfortable silence.

I never expected asking why he always showed up again to elicit such a reaction. In all these years of knowing him, I had never heard him yell like that. It wasn't the yell itself that had caught me off guard, but the anger hurt I could hear in his voice. At this moment, I wished I had come better prepared for our question period. I should have written everything I wanted to know down on a list - sort them by least to most likely of what would anger him the most.

It was odd I didn't think of a list beforehand. I quite liked making lists.

The car rolled to a stop outside the hotel. Hesitating as I reached for my seatbelt, I wasn't sure what to say.

"Uh, I'll be right back," I mumbled, feeling the thick tension in the air as I opened the passenger door and got out of the truck.

Diane was waiting for me with my luggage in hand, dressed in her finest designer suit. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?" she asked.

I nodded, grateful for her motherly care. "I'll be fine. I think my sister will do anything to keep me here for as long as possible."

Her eyes looked past. "Is that your ride?"

Following her glance, I could feel my stomach turn with nerves when I realized who she was looking at. Hunter was standing outside the truck, leaning his back against the driver's side door. He gave a friendly wave, which Diane returned.

"Dylan, darling, please tell me that's not who I think it is," she said through a clenched smile.

"It's... complicated," I whispered, taking my suitcase from her hands.

"Well, when your little complication becomes too hard to handle and you need a way out, give me a call. Alright?"

With a future escape plan figured out in case of emergency, I thanked Diane for the hundredth time and made my way back to the car.

"Put your stuff in the back," Hunter instructed.

"Where are we going?"

"There's a diner at the end of the block. I thought we could get some breakfast," he said, waiting until I closed the car door and rejoined his side before adding, "Plus, I think some time out of the car would do us a bit of a good."

The streets of the city of New York were busy and full of things for my eyes to wander towards - it was the perfect place to walk through and be able to easily avoid making uncomfortable side conversations. And although the retro diner was filled with enough character to keep me entertained for days, nothing could help me avoid the awkward silence that was a result of the person who sat across from me.

"Can I get you two cuties started with anything?" A woman with grey hair and a frilly apron asked as she approached the table.

"Just coffee, thanks."

"Make it two."

"Two coffees," she said in a cheery tone. "Coming right up."

My eyes went to the records that covered the walls and decades old movie posters. With the cherry red booth seats, checkered black and white floors, and jukebox in the corner, it was clear this place had every detail imaginable to take you back in time.

Hunter thanked the waitress as she returned with mugs and a pot of coffee. "Just a couple more minutes," he replied when she asked if we were ready to order.

Although my head had been buried in the menu, I couldn't remember a single thing I had read.

When she returned minutes later, I could confidently order my pancakes.

"I'll get the same, but no chocolate chips."

"You two are just making my life extra easy this morning," she teased, collecting the menus.

"So," I said awkwardly, as the two of us were left in silence, tapping my fingers against the table. "Come here often?"

"To the city or this diner?"

"Both... I guess."

He took a sip from his coffee cup. "I don't come to the city that often. But when I do, I like coming here."

"Why?"

"Not sure. It's nice."

I nodded in agreement. "It is nice." Unlike this uncomfortable conversation, I wanted to add but resisted the urge.

"I'm sorry for how I acted in the car."

I wasn't sure it necessarily deserved an apology, but I smiled at hearing it anyway. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have raised my voice like that."

"You're angry. You have a right to yell."

Wrapping my hands around the mug, I couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh. "Sometimes I like yelling."

Hunter, rightfully so, was confused by my random confession.

"It just helps get everything out. One time in high school, I was really stressed and went on a hike. At the top of the mountain, I just let out a yell and suddenly a weight was lifted off my shoulders."

"No one was alarmed by a girl yelling at the top of a mountain?"

I giggled at the realization. "I've never thought of that before... I guess not. No one said anything, at least."

Another silence washed over us. This time, however, the tension wasn't noticeable - instead, we sat in peaceful silence.

Not all silence had to be bad.

"Look, I know it might have come across like I was trying to get some sympathy points or something by telling you what I did in the car. I guess I'm still learning where to draw the line between honesty and overexplaining myself." Hunter tapped his fingers against his coffee cup. "And, I'm sorry for yelling. I have to say that again. He just... I can push aside our past and pretend everything is alright now, but that's because I do it for Lily. Is he a great dad to that kid and a great partner for your sister? Yes. Did he step up for them? Yes. I'm not here to take that away from him. It's just that the way he views our childhood together and the way I experienced it is very, very fucking different."

"Hunter, you don't have to tell me."

"It's okay," he said softly. "I'm sure the question of what happened between us is on your list anyway, so I might as well get it over with now."

Our food arrived at the perfect time. The last thing I wanted was for Hunter to feel like he had to tell me. It was an obvious question of mine, but not at the expense of his well-being. There was hurt and pain that was still obviously there. The truth of what happened between us, I felt I deserved to know. But this, I didn't feel it was my right.

"Whatever you want to tell me, I'm willing to hear and listen," I said to him. "Don't worry about overexplaining... just don't feel like you have to tell me anything. Okay?"

Hunter nodded and cleared his throat. 

"Growing up, he was always better than me. In school, at sports. It wasn't something I cared about, to be honest. That wasn't where my interests were. But at home, that was a big deal." He stabbed his pancake with his fork. "Our parents got together when I was still in diapers, so we always felt like we were one family of five. But the older I got, the more different I felt from them. Juliet and Ethan always excelled in whatever Dad found important. But when I tried, I could never measure up. My brain just worked differently than theirs did."

Pushing my fork into the pancake with much less force than he had, I took a bite from my food. "What do you mean?"

"I had trouble making sense of phrases or words in a book. I'd study for something and instantly forget what I had learned. Completing tasks sometimes felt like a burden." He took a sip of his coffee. "It took a lot for me to admit that I thought something was wrong. I mean, I did everything my siblings did to get a good grade. And while they got an A, I'd barely pass. But instead of listening, I was told I was stupid or didn't try hard enough. After years of hearing that, I couldn't take it anymore. So, I just stopped trying.

"I liked being creative, but I was shit at drawing or painting. Maybe I was jealous of your talent and that's why I wanted you to pursue your dream so hard," he teased. "When I could be creative, I felt like my brain was working. I liked writing and movies... a bunch of shit. But it wasn't the plan that was set out. So when my brother came home with an A and I came home with a detention slip, we got two different reactions and outcomes from Dad. Ethan was met with praise and a gift or two. And I was met with..." he winced. "Anger, let's say."

Without a second thought, my hand reached across the table and I placed mine on his.

Hunter glanced down at our hands. "I don't think Ethan knew what went on behind closed. I'm sure he just heard the yelling and that that's all it was. Ethan just thought it was some competition between us that he was always winning, and I, well, I was always shit at. He was the star child. I wasn't. He wanted the family business. I wanted nothing to do with it. He was set on a full ride to college. I wanted to leave the moment I got my diploma." He intertwined our fingers. "And then after Dad died, I think something in him thought he had to fulfil that role. It was worse back then. Especially when you and I were first seeing each other. That's why it was so hard to let you go... because every time I thought about why I was doing it, I was reminded of all the shit from when I was younger, and how my brother was turning into him."

His eyes shifted back towards his plate. "I couldn't be with you because of him. And, I couldn't tell you because it wasn't my place. But I kept coming back because I was so in love with you that whenever I saw you, I got selfish and didn't think about what I was doing." There was a brief pause before he added, "And I'm sorry for that."

Our hands never separated. And I couldn't help but think how perfectly they fit together.

"I could probably go to that mountain now."

I raised a brow.

"You know, yell out my frustration."

"Oh," I said. "It might help." Biting the inside of my cheek, I built the courage to ask, "If you could go back in time, would you still be selfish?"

Hunter's gaze met mine as a smile tugged on the corner of his lips, and without hesitation, replied, "Always, Angel." 

FOLLOW MY TWITTER IM GONNA USE IT FOR UPDATES AND LIFE N STUFF!!

@ NORMIESANDWICH (LINK HERE ->)

1) I'm rusty. 2) hunter barely scratched the surface here. 3) if you ever see me refer to Lily as Rory... no you didn't <3

4) UM NEW HARRY STYLES ALBUM ANNOUNCED TODAY?! EVERYONE JUMP.

5) I finished my other book headline last week and yea I'm still emotional about it OK.

6) ily my angels