AN: i have pinterest board (@ normalsandwich) specifically for 18 !! you can find the link in my carrd on my wp profile. it includes sections dedicated to dylan, hunter, dylan's art, day trips, club a...etc. 

DON'T FORGET I HAVE !! OTHER BOOKS !! YOU CAN READ OK BYE - enjoy x 

aesthetics from twitter ↴

The party for Princess Lily was in full swing.

While I met and chatted with various parents of other kids at the party, I quickly learned two things. One, kids were even more of a handful once sugar was involved. And two, Hunter was great with kids.

Who would have thought Hunter Grayson would self-volunteer to be the babysitter for a dozen six-year-olds hopped up on sugar?

I sure as all hell never would have thought it was possible.

But watching my prince charming do just that caused my heart to skip a beat.

Hunter was going to be amazing with our kids.

Kids were years and years away - shit, I needed to figure out what I would do with my life career-wise, so I could afford to bring a little human into this world before actually doing so. But knowing Hunter thought about our future children and watching how he was now did something to me.

The butterflies were fluttering in my stomach.

If there weren't a backyard full of running and screaming children to keep everyone's attention busy, I would have surely been caught with my blatant staring. However, thankfully the sugar rush had only increased after the cake had been dished out.

"Happy with how everything turned out?"

"Oh my god, of course, I am!" Delilah said with a wide smile. "Have I told you how lucky I am to have you as my baby sister?"

"I appreciate the compliment, but what have I done to deserve it?"

She gestured her arm out to the sight in front of us. "All of this, Dyl! The setup... you caring to dress up... her new princess room...." Her voice trembled as she fell quiet, looking down at her plate. "I just really appreciate it."

"Don't cry, you baby!" I teased, nudging her side. "It's the least I could do!"

"Today has been perfect. Lily keeps telling Ethan and me how happy she is, and I just...." Delilah shrugged, pushing a piece of cake around her plate with a fork. "I always dreamed of having a day like today... with family around... and now that it's happened...."

"You wish you never let us in your house?"

Delilah swatted my arm with the back of her hand. "No! It's better than I could have imagined. I mean, look at them," she gestured to Hunter posing with Lily as Ethan took their picture, "That would have never happened a year ago. Shit. It wouldn't have even happened a month ago!"

I was happy to see her so, well, happy. I always knew our reunion would mean as much to her as it did to me - but nothing prepared me for the look that washed across my sister's expression. It made me hate the years we spent apart but reminded me that I had to hold all the ones in the future just that much closer in my heart.

The Miller sisters were back.

And nothing would tear us apart now.

As some of the parents started shuffling out, saying goodbye to Delilah as they passed, I relaxed more with the smaller number of people around.

"Drink?"

I nodded. "Please."

Delilah pulled out a hidden cooler from under the refreshments table. With a water bottle filled with wine in hand and two paper princess cups, we sat down at one of the tables. "Whatever you do, my beautiful little sister, make sure you have a baby with a man who wants nothing more than to be a father."

"Ethan is really good with her," I commented, watching as he let her dress him up in various princess attire.

"Oh, yeah, all that's great too," she said, pouring the contents of the water bottle into each cup, "But I meant more because now we can have a drink while he looks after her." She grinned. "Kidding. Obviously. Well, kind of."

I rolled my eyes as we clinked our paper cups. "Do you think you'll have another kid?"

"We always wanted two kids." Delilah hid her smile as she took a sip of wine. "And... we want to start trying again soon."

"Really?"

She nodded. "I haven't told anyone else yet. But of course, you need to know! You're my sister!"

"Delilah, that's amazing! Would you want to have the baby before getting married?"

"I think so. It would be nice to share it with both kids." She shrugged, taking another sip from her glass. "I know it's a bit silly since the newborn would, well, be a newborn. But the memories and having the family together...."

"I get it," I told her, and I honestly did. Family was clearly important to Delilah. I could see why she would want to cherish those memories with both children.

"And, thankfully, we are in no rush to get married since," she gestured to our surroundings, "I'm pretty sure he's the one."

Taking another sip from my cup, I pondered what the near future could look like. "Wow... a future baby and a wedding... You're going to be quite busy, sis."

"And so are you! My maid of honour and the bestie Auntie in the whole wide world!"

"Is that your way of sweet talking me into doing some free babysitting?"

Delilah pressed her lips together. "Am I that obvious?"

"A bit."

"Well, fine... but it's also because I want you around all the time!" She refilled both our glasses as she spoke. "I know it's selfish of me to say, but I just got you back, Dyl! I want you around all the time."

I could tell she was trying to get a hint as to what my future plan would be: go to Europe or go to teachers college, which of course, I could do more locally.

And without honestly thinking it through, I said, "I think I want to be a teacher."

The moment the words left my lips, they felt... right.

Finally, a choice regarding my future had been made all on my own. And I didn't have to plan it all out. Usually, making a single choice would take me days, weeks, and sometimes months (or, if I was being honest with myself, years!) to plan out before coming to a decision.

But this one came without any of that.

And for the first time, there was no lingering doubt with such a split decision.

"Really?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I want to teach art. To kids, though."

"That's amazing, Dyl! Holy shit! This is huge!" Her eyes scanned the crowd. "Oh, good! Lily's teacher is here!"

"Where?"

"Talking to Hunter," she said before taking a sip from her cup.

I followed my sister's glance. My chest clenched seeing who Hunter was speaking with - who Lily's teacher was.

Sofia.

The girl from the bar. The girl who complimented my shirt at the bar. The girl I got insanely jealous over when I had no right to be. The girl I fought with Hunter over.

Delilah squeezed my arm. "I should introduce you two! You know, so if you want to go forward and are ready to take the next step with teaching, you will have someone to talk to!"

"M-maybe in a minute," I said, pointing my fork at the slice of cake. "I just want to finish this first. And this..." I held up the cup of wine.

My sister laughed. "Good call!"

There was nothing for me to worry about. It wasn't like the two were having some secret discussion in a secluded corner. Besides, Hunter knew how I felt. He knew what I wanted. And I knew he wanted the same.

If that wasn't enough to put my mind at ease, his eyes constantly searched for mine during the party - which didn't stop during his talk with Sofia.

Hunter would catch my glance and raise his pink paper cup to shield the grin tugging on his lips. One second was all I needed to be reminded of our silent promise; that nothing would come in the way of it.

He was mine. And I was his.

My body, mind and heart all knew it to be true.

So why was my chest clenching in fear at the sight in front of me?

"Do you think something's going on between them?"

"What?"

"Hunter and Sofia. Don't they look... I don't know, close?"

I pretended to look, not wanting my mind to be fooled into thinking that they were having anything other than a pleasant conversation. "I don't see it." I attempted to keep my response casual by adding a nonchalant shrug.

"I wonder if he'll bring his girlfriend to our wedding," Delilah continued. "Maybe we'll finally meet the mysterious Angelina."

Forcing a smile, I nodded in agreement. "Maybe."

"I hope they actually broke up."

"Why?"

"If Ethan acted like that," she pointed at the two of them, "I don't know if I would be thrilled."

"They could just be friends, Del. Besides, weren't you trying to set us up not too long ago?"

"Okay, that was a lapse in judgment!" She took another sip from her cup before placing it on the table. "And that's before I learned some stuff."

I straightened my posture, suddenly becoming more alert by hearing my sister's words. "What... stuff?"

"You know... that he's not faithful," she whispered. "And it's not baseless. I can't imagine ever thinking he would have been right for you... Setting up my baby sister with someone who could hurt another person like that... no way! Not on my watch."

Chewing my bottom lip, I tapped my fingers against the paper cup. "Does that change your opinion on him?"

"As Lily's Uncle? No. As a person?" Delilah sighed. "I'm not going to, like, hate the guy over it. But I definitely wouldn't want anyone I know to be with him if it's true."

"It could just be gossip," was all I managed to respond with.

"Yeah," Delilah mumbled in agreement. "He's a flirty guy, I guess. So, I hope it's all false. You know, just for the sake of his girlfriend too. But maybe you're right, and it's nothing... it's probably the wine making me crazy."

I tried my best to swallow my hurt. It was the worst situation; I couldn't defend Hunter from someone judging their character without the risk of outing our secret. I just had to sit here... and listen to why my sister didn't like the idea of someone being romantically involved with... the person I was in love with.

"Ethan asked Hunter to be his best man."

Wait. What?

"Really?"

"Yes. Isn't it amazing? They've really turned a new leaf since his accident...."

I cleared my throat. "That's great."

The panicked feeling in my chest, the one that was tightening its ribbon around my lungs, only worsened. Worst of all, I couldn't pinpoint what made me feel this way. All I could do was sit in it.

Digging my nails into the palm of my hands, I tried to refocus on Delilah's words, not wanting to alarm her with my sudden aloof attitude or think I was disinterested.

"I know, right?" Delilah's smile grew. "I'm so happy for them. Ethan said this trip has really brought them closer... you know, finally putting their differences aside and spending quality time together to repair their relationship... so asking him was a no-brainer for Ethan."

"It's good they talked."

"I know! Ethan told me they agreed to 'No more lies. No more bullshit... Just a fresh start'. And I think that's beautiful for them, truly I do. They need to build that trust and honesty with each other again. Now that they've recognized it and owned up to it... I can only see their relationship getting stronger from now on. Isn't that beautiful?"

There it was.

The moment it all clicked.

I couldn't look at Hunter with tinted rose-coloured glasses any longer.

The future I had come up with in my head over the past few hours wasn't real.

We couldn't be real.

There was no future for us. No marriage. No kids. No love.

Hunter promised his brother no more lies. And here he was about to expose the biggest one so far - his promise would be wrecked when Delilah and Ethan knew the truth.

I was a fool for thinking it wouldn't matter, that our lies and secrets for the past two weeks would just be water under the bridge... that everyone would think it was okay because we loved each other. What two people in love did all of this? Who loved someone and hurt not only them but all of those around them?

We weren't a love story.

We were destruction.

This wasn't a tale about a princess and her charming prince going off to their magical castle. It was a house of cards ready to be set ablaze within a second's notice.

The butterflies fluttering around my body whenever I looked at him weren't a sign of something beautiful.

That was the feeling that had been going through me all day. Every time I looked at him, I didn't feel infatuation. I felt a warning.

I needed anything to stop the pounding in my head and the pain in my chest.

"Dyl? Are you okay?"

I forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, I think the wine is just getting to me," I said, tipping my empty cup. "I'll be right back."

I went straight for the garage, knowing it was the only safe space I had as an option - assuming wandering into the forest Hunter took me to the other day would set off someone's alarm bells.

I liked that spot he took me to. It was comforting with its reminders of happy memories from the past.

Happy memories with Hunter.

Hunter.

My eyes scanned every canvas that lined the garage walls around me. All the work I had poured my heart into, which my sister commented showcased my best talents, suddenly made me furious to look at.

Every canvas was covered with reminders of him.

The places he took me for spontaneous day trips.

The butterflies I drew for him.

The things he did that made me laugh and smile.

The ways I cried over him.

The ways I loved him.

Every single emotion, feeling or act of love, pain and sadness over the years was someone mixed into all my art.

And I hated it.

I couldn't look at it.

I wasn't thinking straight. My mind was spinning out of control. It was hard enough to breathe, let alone think my thoughts through.

Instead of picking up the pair of scissors on the table, maybe I should have started counting. Then, perhaps, I could have thought my following action through a bit more.

But right now, I couldn't think that way.

All I wanted to do was get rid of the sights in front of me.

And with the pair of scissors in my hand, I did just that.

I felt a sense of relief when I stabbed the sharp end into the canvas. A noise fell from my mouth, something of a yell but not quite a scream. Whatever the noise was, I needed to let it out. And with each strike through my art, it felt better.

It felt freeing.

That was until it wasn't.

My eyes found their way to the actual sight in front of me.

All my work was destroyed by my own doing.

Every piece I had created for the art show, all the work I had fallen in love with after weeks of not being inspired, was now torn into strips of canvas lying on the ground.

The scissors fell from my hand, metal clanking as they landed on the ground. My breathing was constrained and heavy. Everything was gone. Everything. I fucked everything up.

"Hey, are you - holy shit. What happened?"

I turned my head at the sound of the voice. My eyes ran wide; I looked like a deer caught in the headlights as I stared at Hunter.

My lips parted to speak, but only a trembling mess of incoherent babbling followed.

"Did you... do this?" Hunter asked, his tone cautious as he looked around at the remaining scatters of my art.

"I... I didn't mean to... at least, I don't think I did."

"Did you hurt yourself?"

I shook my head.

Everything started to feel a bit calmer once he stepped into the room. It no longer felt like a chore, just to breathe. My thoughts were slowly becoming easier to process. Hunter brought me peace.

But as I stepped towards him for comfort, he stepped towards the mess I had made.

Hunter released a shaky breath as he picked the scissors off the floor. "We need to figure out our plan for telling-"

"Why?"

His eyes met mine, staring at me with a perplexed look and furrowed brow.

I took another step toward him. "I... I don't want to say goodbye to you."

"Dylan-"

I felt frozen, hearing my name fall from his lips.

Gone was Angel. A nickname months ago I hated; something I felt like he called me just to get under my skin. No longer hearing it made me realize, once and for all, that it was done - that we were done.

The second of peace he provided me vanished.

My head was spinning out of control.

It hurt to think.

One second, I was in love with him. Next, I realized we couldn't have our future and destroyed my work. All it took was one second of him back in the room with me to forget. One second to look at him and see a future together.

We couldn't have that future.

It didn't exist for us.

We were over.

I wasn't Angel to him. I was Dylan. Just Dylan.

Hunter cleared his throat. "We both agreed it would be over between us after tonight-"

"I know-"

"So why are you getting so upset-"

"I can't fucking turn my feelings off for you, Hunter!" I yelled out, silencing him completely. I wanted my eyes to go anywhere but his, yet he was the only thing I could set my sights on. "Everywhere I look, I see reminders of you," my voice whispered. "I can't... I can't take this anymore."

I wanted him to tell me everything would be okay... I wanted to hear him say the right thing. He always knew what to say to make it better.

Hunter pinched the bridge of his nose as he paced back and forth. I watched him and waited.

I waited for him to make everything better.

I waited to hear him say there was a way for everything to be okay.

I waited for the words I desperately needed to hear more than anything.

But when he spoke, I could feel whatever remained of my heart shatter into a million unfixable pieces.

"How are we going to tell them?"

"What?"

"How are we going to tell them?" he repeated. "Do you want to get it all out when people leave? Or should we wait until tomorrow?"

I stepped forward, shaking my head in disbelief over his words. "That's what your concern is right now?"

"Well, yeah. It's what we said we would do, Dylan."

"Don't you want this?" my voice exposed all the desperation left in me, "Don't you want us?"

"No."

There was a beat of silence that was far too painful to make sense of.

It didn't matter that I would be free from this hurt at the end of the day.

It didn't matter that I slept with him knowing that either way, it would hurt.

It didn't matter.

None of that mattered.

Because at the end of it all, it still hurt.

I was hurting.

It felt like a crack in my heart with no repairs, broken into a million pieces like shattered glass. I felt torn to pieces, like my artwork on the floor. That's how this felt.

"I want Theo," I whispered in defeat. "You made me want that - made me want him and our future together. Why the fuck did you have to tell me about him?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer. Once the floodgates had opened, they poured.

"Angel-"

Strained from anger and tears, I let out a shaky, "Don't call me that!"

It was too late. It was too fucking late for him to call me that. I hated it. I hated this. I hated him. Everything about this made me-

"Dylan?"

The sound of my sister's voice halted all my anger. As I looked to the door, spotting her and Ethan standing with frightened expressions.

Burying my face in my hands, I let it all out, crying harder than I ever had before in my life. Everything was released in this single cry; all the years without my sister, falling for Hunter, losing him and being heartbroken, reuniting, falling back in love, and finding out the truth.

"Oh, no, Dylan, honey," Delilah cooed, hurrying to my side. Her arms wrapped around my frame, pulling my body into hers. "What is it?"

I couldn't speak.

Every time I opened my mouth, more cries only came out.

Delilah tried her best to soothe me - gently rocking back and forth, holding me like she did when we were little. It helped. At least, it helped for long enough to tell her.

I don't know how I managed to speak through all the tears or how she managed to hear anything I had said.

Delilah pulled her head back. Her brows furrowed as she slowly repeated, "You... know... each other?"

"What?" I heard Ethan's voice ask from behind my sister.

Delilah cupped my cheek, wiping away my tears with the pad of her thumb. "You mean you two just met before? Right?"

As I slowly shook my head, I could see everything I didn't want to happen play out in front of me.

We met years ago.

After our first date, Hunter knew I was your sister but never told me.

Hunter and I continued dating and fell in love.

Mom paid him off, and he disappeared in the middle of the night.

He came back into my life after eighteen months.

I dated Charlie.

Hunter and I fell back in love.

I didn't know the truth until Hunter showed up and pretended he didn't know me.

"What about Angelina?" Delilah asked. 

"I'm Angelina."

"What?"

Eyes falling to the ground, I whispered, "He used to call me Angel." 

"No... no, no, no," Delilah mumbled, shaking her head. "That can't be right. We've heard about Angelina for years... and years... and years. His perfect girlfriend... that was... you?"

I nodded.

"And it's been you this whole time?"

I nodded again. 

"So, that means-"

"You kept this from her?" Ethan interrupted, directing his question at Hunter. "You kept this from us?" 

Hunter didn't respond, opting to shove his hands into the pockets of his jeans and stare at his brother with a nonchalant expression. 

"You don't even fucking care, do you?" my sister spat at him. "Is this some sick game to you?" The anger in her voice was evidently rising with each word. "You-you told us about your girlfriend for all these years, and that was my baby sister?! You kept her away from me for all these years? Kept her in the dark? Why? So you could fuck with all of us? Get the last laugh while using my sister as a pawn in your twisted, fucked up game?"

"Del..."

"Dylan, I bet of you. Don't," she warned. "Don't go try and defend him right now! That," she pointed at Hunter, "is not the face of someone who cares about you!"

I forced myself not to look, not wanting to see what she did. Hunter loved me. This wasn't a game. Hunter had to love me. This couldn't be a game. 

"Dyl, please," Delilah whispered, raising her hands to cup my cheeks, "Why did you agree to this?"

"I paid her to keep quiet," Hunter answered. "I knew she was struggling and would be desperate to accept it... and I knew..." Hunter paused, unable to look my way as he spoke with a clenched jaw, "And I knew she was still in love with me. So I used that to my advantage."

Delilah was disgusted by him.

Ethan was furious at him.

And I was heartbroken.

Hunter's words had to be a lie. But he spoke with such a harsh, cruel tone that even I believed him.

Did he ever really love me?

Or was it all a game?

I hated seeing all the work Ethan and Hunter had built over the past while together instantly vanish. I hated hearing the words Ethan viciously spat at his brother. I hated hearing him say he was never allowed back into their house. 

I hated knowing it played out exactly like Hunter said it would.

I hated being a part of why Hunter and his brother fought that night.

But most of all, I hated knowing I had been part of the reason my sister's dream of having a family together again only lasted a handful of hours. 

Hunter left immediately after that. He went upstairs, grabbed his suitcase that was already packed, and headed out the front door. 

Ethan swore he never wanted to see him again. 

Delilah apologized to me for something that wasn't her fault. 

And I stayed silent, wishing I had just started counting instead of picking up that damn pair of scissors. 

The hardest part was knowing that, in the essence of it all, we had a beautiful love for one another. 

Hunter would always be the most complex love to get over and move on from. 

Even if our story had to end with a sense of the wrong time and place, I would always be thankful for the chance to share this journey with him. 

Maybe in another life, we could have been the endgame for each other. 

But in this life, all we had were tortuous games and the end of what was us. 

it's been a fun ride. 

... i mean... it's over... right? right?