Getting that kind of phone call is never easy.

The person on the other end tells you to remain calm. And yet you hear it clear as day in their voice that they aren't following their advice.

You begin to think of every possible explanation for how and why it happened, the worst thing you could do. It only makes it worse. You know that. But you can't help yourself.

Ethan told us not to worry - that Hunter's injuries weren't life threatening. Knowing that didn't stop my trembling hands or the sweat from pooling on the back of my neck.

The worst part was that I couldn't express my fear to the fullest extent, worried I would set off alarm bells.

Why would I be on the verge of tears over someone I barely knew? Would it even be normal if I acted a certain way? Was my attempts to keep myself contained making it worse? Did I seem careless?

I knew I wasn't expressing an unusual amount of emotion or fear over the situation. Unfortunately, Dad's conditioning of never showing emotions because emotions were weak was still ingrained in my DNA. But that didn't stop me from overthinking.

Delilah and I were similar when it came to overthinking about the unknown - however, while I was good at keeping it contained, she was far more expressive with her emotions. I was surprised by how calm she was around Lily, not letting her daughter see the entire state of panic I had witnessed moments ago while she was on the phone.

Ethan told us not to worry. Yet the two overthinking sisters couldn't do anything but that.

"Can I go play with Harry again after?" Lily pouted from her car seat.

The kid was far from amused with her mother over the interruption. The unhappy attitude began when she was pulled away from her playdate. Still, Delilah remained calm and collected, responding to every inquiry with just enough to answer her questions without giving away too much detail. Mothers were always so good at that. Well, not ours, but that woman was another can of worms my brain couldn't dive into at the moment.

"Maybe, honey. We will have to see what time it is," Delilah answered without a hint of tremble in her voice and a plastered smile. But the way her fingers tapped against the steering wheel and she chewed her bottom lip signalled that she was far from calm.

"Where are we going?"

"To see Uncle Hunter."

"Why?"

"Because he's not feeling well."

"Does he have a cookie?"

Delilah glanced at Lily using the rearview mirror. "A cookie?"

"When I don't feel well, you give me a cookie!"

My sister fell silent, sinking her teeth further into her bottom lip. I wasn't sure if she didn't know how to respond or was too overwhelmed by Lily's adorable innocence.

I looked over my shoulder. "I like cookies too. Maybe we can go find him one when we get there?"

Lily nodded happily and babbled on about various topics that had more to do with her playmate Harry than our sudden need to go to Hunter. Aside from the handful of times she asked, "are we there yet" Lily was quite the easy passenger in the car. And thankfully, she enjoyed conversing with me now, so I was able to pull her attention away from Delilah.

"Here we are," Delilah announced, shifting the car into park. She glanced down at the ticket she had to pay for parking in the lot, mumbling curses about how expensive it was, before shoving it into her purse. "Bring your juice box in case you get thirsty."

After helping Lily out of the car, she kept a firm grip on her hand as we walked toward the entrance. I stayed by the kid as Delilah went to the front desk to figure out where she needed to go.

Lily tugged on my hand. "Can you hold this? It's too cold."

"Sure." I smiled to myself, taking the juice box from her tiny hand.

Kids were interesting - that was my discovery for the day as we walked down the hall and toward the elevator. The air in this hospital wing was thick and tense as doctors and nurses rushed from room to room or consoled patients in the waiting area from their loss. Delilah and I could see and feel it. On the other hand, Lily was more interested in talking about all the fun she had playing in the sandbox. And just when I thought it was her childlike innocence that stopped her from realizing what was going on around her, I watched as she reached out to grab her mother's hand and whispered,

"Uncle Fishy will be okay, Mommy."

Delilah looked down at her child, surprised at the comment. Her lips curved upward as she reached down, kissing the top of her head. "I know he will, lovie," she whispered. The doors of the elevator opened. "Hold on to Dylan's hand, okay?"

Lily nodded and tightened her grip, following her mother's lead quietly. Maybe I hadn't been around children that often, or perhaps I was focusing so intensely on the little kid to distract my mind, but watching how she conducted herself was amazing.

Usually, when Lily saw Ethan after hours of being apart, she would run up to him for a big hug while squealing his name. But without anyone telling her not to do that here, she seemed to know. Instead, she whispered, "Hi Daddy," squeezed his hand and said, "Uncle Fishy will be okay."

"I know he will, peanut." Ethan crouched, allowing himself to be at eye level with his daughter. "Can you give mommy and me a minute? Then I want to hear all about your day at the park, okay?"

"Sorry to put you on babysitting duty," Delilah said quietly to me, "Do you mind sitting with her?"

"Of course not." I welcomed the so-called duty. Watching Lily helped keep my mind off Hunter and whatever his unknown state was.

Settling down into a chair, surrounded by other worried guests who waited to hear the fate of their loved ones, was an eerie feeling. Thankfully, Lily pulled me into a conversation about the light-up shoes she had on. This kid knew exactly what she was doing, or her timing was impeccable.

"They change colour when I walk," she said proudly, swinging her feet back and forth. "Can I have my juice box now?"

"Oh, sure." Pulling the wrapped straw from the box, I got it out of its packaging and poked it through the hole. "There you go."

Lily grinned happily, her legs continuing to swing. "Thank you!"

The silence from the kid as she sipped on her juice became exceptionally apparent the moment I was able to pick up on the hushed conversation between my sister and Ethan.

"Del, I swear to god, if he was drinking..."

Delilah's eyes widened. "Do you think he was?"

"I don't know," Ethan replied, "But if he was, he's getting put on the first fucking flight back home."

My sister sighed, raising a hand to his cheek. "Let's not work ourselves up about that until we see him," she spoke softly, giving him a comforting smile. "He does well when he's here. You know that, E. If you let yourself think of the worst before we even get the chance to see him, it's not going to help."

Ethan released a deep breath and nodded. "You're right. I shouldn't have even gone there," he said, kissing her forehead.

I was thankful my sister could ease Ethan's mind and mine too. I was pretty sure any remaining restraint I had left in me would vanish the moment Ethan went a step too far. He was overwhelmed; that was obvious. From his strained relationship with Hunter... to the secret proposal... and now being here, there was a lot to deal with. But that didn't mean Ethan would be allowed to accuse Hunter of things that weren't yet proven true.

"Can we go get a snack?" The sound of Lily's question pulled my attention away from eavesdropping. "I'm hungry."

"Sure, let me just ask your parents." Rising from my seat, I took a few steps forward. Clearing my throat, I tried to make my presence notable to ensure they knew I was now in earshot of their conversation.

Delilah turned, forcing a smile. "Hey, everything okay?"

I could sense her worriedness, even if I didn't hear it through her tone. "Lily asked if we could go get a snack. I thought I could take her to get one and walk around with her while you wait for the doctor."

"That's a great idea, thank you." Ethan reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Maybe take her to the gift shop as well... see if there's anything she wants. I don't know how long it will take before we get an answer."

Pocketing the cash, I told my sister to call if there were any updates and led Lily down the hallway. I did my best to focus on the kid who provided me with a mini-tutorial on how her light-up sneakers worked, but I couldn't help but allow my mind to repeat the conversation I had overheard.

I swear to god, if he was drinking...

What did Ethan know?

Did the police find out when the crash happened? Was it after the bar? Shit. Should I have told someone I saw him? Probably. But what if it was after the bar? Then why would it matter if he was drinking? Did Ethan think he would get behind the wheel drunk? Did Hunter even drive to the bar last night? Shit. What happened to Sofia? Was she hurt? Was she here? Were her family and friends sitting in that waiting room?

Stop it, Dylan. Don't work yourself up into a state of needing to count, the little voice in my head pleaded. You can't panic in front of Lily.

I needed to focus on Lily.

And Lily only.

After getting lost and heading down the wrong hallway twice, we finally found our way to the cafeteria. Lily happily asked for chicken nuggets and fries and was amazed when she realized they were in the shapes of dinosaurs.

"Do you think Uncle Fishy will still take me to the aquarium?"

Stealing a fry off her plate, I nibbled on the end as I thought of the best way to answer her. "I think so..." My eyes focused on her like I was trying to read her expression to know whether that was the right way to reply. "Do you like the aquarium?"

"Yes! They have fishies there!" She dipped her nugget into the pile of ketchup on her plate. "Do you like it?"

"I haven't been."

Lily gasped, crumbs of food falling from her mouth. "You have to come with us! It's so much fun!"

"I'd love to," I told her, reaching forward with a napkin to wipe away the mess on her mouth. I never thought an invitation to the aquarium from a five-year-old would mean so much. But there I was, overjoyed that she was inviting me, the family member she had just met, and causing my heart to swell.

Once Lily was finished eating, I purchased a few more snacks for her to eat later if her hunger came back. Aside from the fact that I didn't know how long we could be here, I didn't know how quickly children needed to eat. Was it a few times a day? Or every hour? Delilah always had a snack for her to eat, so I assumed it was best to do the same.

"Your dad said you can get a toy to play with," I told her as we walked into the gift shop. "So, take your time and find something you really want, okay?"

With a verbal agreement, the kid was quick to run off and explore, setting off her light-up shoes with each step she took. I was sure there would be cash for her to get two items, so long as her choices weren't the most expensive ones. But I thought an extra toy to play with should be a surprise versus causing disappointment if there wasn't enough to pay for what she wanted.

The last thing I wanted was to bring back a disappointed child for Delilah and Ethan to have to consol.

"Did you find something?"

Lily nodded, holding out her item. A colouring book. It wasn't her selection that made my heart explode, but the words that followed. "I want to get it so I can be like you, Auntie Dylan!"

Holy shit. If I were a crier, I would have been in a puddle of tears.

Auntie Dylan.

Hearing it from that little tiny voice made it all the more adorable. She thought of me as her Aunt. Not a random stranger that knew her mom. Or a Princess she was scared to talk to. I was becoming family to her.

"You want to be like me?"

"Mommy says you're an artist! Can you teach me how? So I can be like you?"

I wanted to tell her that she didn't need me to teach her anything to be an artist. There were various ways artists could be defined - whether that was from one's self-discovery, through learning through someone else, or a mixture of the two. But that was a conversation for a later time. Plus, I didn't feel like reopening the whole what am I doing with my life and how on earth can I teach you when I know nothing myself conversation to an adorable kid who just wanted to be like her Aunt.

Auntie Dylan.

Lily pouted her bottom lip. "They don't have paint."

"That's okay," I pointed to the box in her hand, "Crayons will do."

"But mommy says you use paint."

"Do you also like crayons?"

She nodded.

"Then that's what we use today." I crouched down. "Want to know a secret? I like using many different things when I feel inspired."

Her eyes widened. "Really? Me too. Sometimes I use markers."

"I love markers," I told her. "Let's use crayons today. We can try markers and paint another time. Is that okay with you?"

Lily approved of that suggestion. As we walked hand in hand to the cash to pay for her items and headed over to a table to begin her first lesson on colours, I was amazed by how she absorbed all the information I was telling her like a sponge. Who knew learning the colour wheel could earn so many gasps.

"Art is fun!" Lily giggled, scribbling on her page as she mixed two colours together.

Lily was right.

Art was fun.

I had forgotten all about that critical fact.

Oddly enough, in a situation that wreaked with tension after a week of tortuous thoughts and panic-filled lungs, all it took was a five-year-old with glow-up shoes to change my entire perspective and leave me feeling whole again.

Finally, I was able to create again. 

links to my twitter (@ normiesandwich) & spotify playlists are linked in my carrd on my profile :) 

it's been a week of harry's house!! what's your fav song?