Lillian woke up to Zane crying and she propped herself up to get up and get him, but the night before rushed back to her. She froze for a moment before yawning heavily, throwing herself down on the bed, and groaned, bring her hand up to her hand, “Did I cut my hair?”, she asked as she scratched her head.

It was quiet for a moment and Lillian was wondering if Ryan was in the room for a second. “Yeah.”, he finally answered

She groaned again, “Why?”

“I don't know, something about starting over.”, he said

She remember then and thought by just cutting her hair, all her problems would have gone away, and she could start over. She hesitated, but put her hands on the bed and lifted herself up, turning to face Ryan, “I don't even want to know what I look like right now.”

He just gave her a small force smile.

She pulled the blanket closer to her and felt so ashamed of herself at the moment. “I'm ruining everything.”, she muttered to herself. This whole time she was putting the blame on Ryan, it was her own self that was the problem. She pulled her top lip inside her mouth and chewed on it, blinking back the tears stinging in her eyes.

“What was that?”, Ryan asked, moving over to the bed.

She looked up at him and took the blanket off, “I miss you, Ryan.”

Ryan looked down at Zane who was in his right arm and looked back up at her, “I know, you told me about two hundred times last night.”

She brought her hands together, “I know I haven't been the best girlfriend an—oh, my god.”, she said when in the corner of her arms she saw herself in the mirror. She couldn't stop herself from looking and brought her hands together, “Oh, my God. No.”, she said when she saw what she looked like without being high off her mind.

Ryan will never want her now after what she's done. Her long hair is gone, it's now in some pixie haircut and what's worse, she did it herself so there was chops off even here and there.

“Jeanette shouldn't have given you whatever she gave you.”, he said.

“Don't blame her, it's no one to blame but myself.”, she said, finally looking away and back to him. “You probably don't even want to look at me right now.”

“Because of the hair cut or because you told me Duncan kissed you and you kissed him back?”, he asked and she lowered her head in shame. “Personally, I like your hair, Lil. It's different, make you look cute—cuter.”, he said and a small smile appeared on her face. She wasn't sure if he was lying or not, but it made her happy for him to try and make her feel better about her stupidity.

When she gain the courage, she finally looked up at him, “The kiss meant nothing, Ryan. I was really vulnerable and thought it was a good idea, but I felt so guilty after.”

He set Zane down on the bed, “Okay.”, he said and she gave him a confused look. “I forgive you.”

Though she wanted to be happy to hear that, it sounded more like he was more settling with all this, not actually meaning it. “N-no, we need to talk, fight, something.”, she said, walking over to him and he gave her a confused look. “I know you say it, but don't mean it. I want you to tell me everything you feel, I just don't want you to settle with just forgiving me, it'll be on my chest forever.”

He groaned, “Come on, Lil, really? I don't really want to—“

“I know you hate talking, but please.”, she said, making her eyes bigger. “Try, for me.”

He hesitated, but breathed out hard, “I was angry—pissed. You made me feel so bad and when you told me about you and Duncan, I felt like you were a hypocrite towards me, Lil. Was I hurt? Yes. I wanted us to stop talking last night cause I knew I would start yelling at you and I would hate myself for yelling at you.”, he said and took a second break. “I miss you to and I still love you, which is why I just wanted to ignore this part and be back together. I can look past this—if you promise it will never happen again.”

“I promise.”, she said quickly. “Ryan, I promise I wont ever do anything to hurt you again. Hurting you is the last thing I want to do.”

A smile formed on his face and he took her hand, “I notice you never took the ring off the whole time.”

She smiled and nodded, “I didn't want to, it's just so pretty.”, she said. “I want you back, Ryan.”

He gave her a grin, “I'm suppose to say that to you, Lil.”. They just smiled at each other for a moment before Ryan decided to kiss her hard on the mouth. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her before pulling his mouth away, “Don't think you got off the hook that easy though.”, he said and she gave him a confused look. “I would like more back rubs, dinner to be ready when I get home, and for you the pop any zits I have my back.”, he said and she was chuckling as she shook her head up at him. “I'm serious.”, he said, chuckling.

“Fine, fine.”, she said.

“Can you hear my stomach?”, he asked and her eyebrows came together. “It's empty, I'm hungry.”

“Oh.”, she said. “I could go and attempt to make breakfast if you want.”

He chuckled, “Another morning, lets go to McDonald’s, it's still breakfast hour.”

“Sounds so good.”, she said.

. . .

Lillian watched as Meredith tsk and grab a strand of Lillian hair as Lillian ate her hash brown, “What possessed you to do this, Lillian? You have such great hair.”

“Oh.”, Lillian said, slowly chewing on her food. It's not like she can say she was high without wanting to be judged and having a cop across the table listening. “I had one tough day and thought I could do it myself. What a fail.”, she said, stuffing her mouth with food.

“Luckily I can get you into a chair later, this mess has to be fix.”, she said. “If your going to have a pixie cut, it needs to be nice and styled, not like your homeless.”

She chuckled, “Alright, Mere.”

After eating, Lillian was cuddling with Ryan on the couch. She felt so happy after a long two weeks, like how she felt when their relationship begin. Lillian giggled pretty loudly, making Ryan move from behind her ear, and put his finger against his mouth, “Shh.”, he chuckled, pointing at a napping Zane on the floor.

“Don't do that.”, she whispered, kissing him.

His put one of his hands on her waist as he kissed her back harder, trailing down her chin, and onto her neck. She tried to hold back her giggles since it was tickling a little from his breathing against her neck. After a moment, she couldn't help and put her hands against his neck, lifting him up, and kissed him.

“Hey, hey, none of that.”, Chris said as he came down the steps in his police uniform. “Not on my four hundred and fifty dollar couch. Take it to a hotel.”

Lillian just brought her hand up to her red face.

Once Chris had left out the door, Ryan went back to kissing her.

Zane soon woke up from his nap though and he lifted himself up from the floor, holding onto the couch, rubbing his eyes and yawn. Lillian thought it was the most adorable thing she seen and watching him trying to climb the couch was just more cute. When he couldn't and just keep falling, he started crying, reaching up for them to pick him up.

He got back as he couch and his the couch, wanting to get up there with them. Lillian wrapped her arm around him and lifted up, holding him near her, “Oh calm down, you're with us.”, she said, putting him in the middle of them.

“He missed seeing his mommy and daddy together.”, Ryan said, ruffling Zane's short hair.

When Zane realized they were just going to sit there, he climbed back down to the floor and started crawling everywhere, picking himself up by the help of the walls and anything in reach, but kept falling when he tried to take a step forward.

He got over to his bucket of toys and started throwing things out, making a mess. Lillian was watching him with Ryan behind her, holding her close to him tightly. She smiled, laying her arm over his that was around her waist.

. . .

“Eh! Eh! Eh!”, Lillian heard Zane groan when she walked into the house from the salon. She walked into the kitchen to see Zane fighting with Ryan about not wanting to eat the vegetable baby good. He had some around his mouth and all over his shirt. It seems like he doesn't very much like mash peas.

Ryan looked up at her and his eyes widen a little, “Oh wow.”, he said and she blushed.

“Doesn't look so bad, huh?”, she asked, running her fingers through her hair. The salon lady was able to fix her disaster and make it look nice.

She went over to the cabinet and got one of those baby smoothies packs, twisting the top off, and gave it to Zane. He was more then happy to drink that then eat the mash peas.

Ryan got up, “Maybe you should have cut your hair a long time ago, I can see your beautiful face more.”, he said and she couldn't help but give him a wide smile.

She stood up on her tip toes and pecked him, “Thank you, Ryan.”