After having morning sickness, Lillian was kind of disappointed when she couldn't even look at her mom's delicious strawberry and cream pancakes when she got downstairs since they made her stomach turn.

She ran a hand through her hair as she waited in the living room for everyone to finish eating. Lillian took the day off yesterday since she was feeling extra tired and her mom surprised her by getting her a new larger hoodie since the one she had was getting a little too tight on her. She pulled her hoodie and shirt up, rubbing her round stomach. Five months to go.

She thought of her baby's father, not sure how she's going to be able to look at him. She kissed him. What a big stupid mistake that was. Maybe Jeanette won't break up with him after she finds out but she'll hate Lillian forever.

She needed to stop worrying about Jeanette, she has bigger things to take care of first.

Ten minutes later her mom and sister came out of the dining room. Her mom held something out for her, a pack of crackers, an apple, and a water bottle. She looked up at her mom confused and her mom smile, "Just in case you get hungry later after class or something."

Lillian smiled and took it, "Thanks."

They all piled into her mom's car and when she got to school, she just didn't feel like being there today since she was pretty tired. But she had a test today in Spanish and she didn't feeling like taking it later. She got out of the car and began her way into school.

She knew she would have to see Ryan; remember that she kissed him and feel humiliated. He'd probably tell her to never do it again and yell at her at how stupid she was for doing such a thing. He'll probably even mention how much he loves Jeanette and other crap.

Lillian twirled a strand of her blonde hair around her finger as she got to her locker. Her hair was down today and straightened. She couldn't stop thinking of the comment Ryan said about her hair being down and how she has beautiful hair. Her hair was a plain blonde that went down to the middle of her back.

Lillian rubbed her eyes, trying to get rid of some sleep that was in her eyes. She wanted to go home to her comfy bed and sleep until she couldn't any more. She also had to really go to the bathroom. After getting all the stuff she needed, she closed her locker and went to the bathroom.

When she was done, she stepped out of the stall and fixed her hoodie to where it looked baggier. She patted her stomach and for the second time, she felt a twitch. A huge smile appeared on her face, letting her know there was actually something in there.

She heard the door to the bathroom open and she quickly grabbed her stuff, walking around a few classmates and left the bathroom.

She heard giggling and turned her head to the right to see down the hallway, seeing something that hurt her a little. Ryan had his arms around Jeanette's waist and her arms were around him. He went to kiss her but she teasingly moved her face away.

Doesn't look like there's going to be any breaking up anytime soon, she thought disappointedly and she was quickly jealous. She frowned and pushed one side of her hair behind her ear, hoping they wouldn't notice her because she had to walk past them to get to her class.

She began walking and kept her head down, looking at her Bio book instead. But Jeanette had eyes like a hawk and saw her walk past.

"Lillian!" she cried out and got out of Ryan arms, pulling Lillian into a hug. Lillian did her best to not let Jeanette touch her stomach and had her Bio book in-between them. Jeanette pulled back and looked surprised, "Your hair! It's down and it looks so pretty and long!" she said. "I haven't seen you straighten you hair since last year. Since then you always pull it up in that bun. What made you want to keep it down--ahh, I know what it is! Who is he?" she asked, winking at her.

Lillian cheeks burned up and she looked away, "No one."

She chuckled, "Oh sure, no one. Okay, I know you'll tell me later when the time comes."

Lillian didn't say anything because she suddenly felt awkward and just wanted to get to class.

"So where were you yesterday?" she asked. "I texted you and you never texted me back."

"Um, I wasn't feeling very well." she said. "I have to get to class so I can review my notes before my Spanish test."

Jeanette clicked her tongue, "Always studying. When are you going to have some fun again and not worry about school?"

The last time Lillian tried to have fun she stupidly met up with Ryan and had sex with him because he was being emotional and she fell for it. Now she's going to be stuck with a huge responsibility.

"I'll see you at lunch, Jeanette." she said, walking around Jeanette and made it over to class.

~

Lillian was making her way towards the lunch room and she yawned to herself, wishing she could have just stayed in bed. She stretched her arms up above her head above her head as she walked; three and half more hours left.

She turned the corner and bumped into someone, "Oh, I'm sor--oh." she said when she realized it was Ryan she bumped into and she suddenly felt depressed, remembering him being all cutesy with Jeanette earlier.

"I was coming to find you." he said and she looked at him confused.

"Jeanette's probably wondering where you are."

"Jeanette's hanging out with her cheerleading friends, she won't notice you're not there either." he said. "Can we talk?"

"I don't think there's anything to talk about." she said.

"Oh really?" he asked, grabbing her arm to pull her over to a small space so no would overhear them. "How about the other day?"

Lillian's face burned up and she crossed her arms over her chest, looking at the floor, "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have done that. I don't know why I did it."

He was quite for a moment, "What would you say if I was about to kiss you back?"

She chuckled humorlessly, but it sounded more like a snort, "And why would you do that? Go ahead Ryan, yell at me for being stupid. I know I was. It just seemed the right thing to do at the moment." She felt him place his hand on her stomach over her hoodie and she looked up at him confused.

"How'd this happen, Lil?" he asked.

"Both of us were stupidly crazy drunk." she said. Lillian was scared about everything and her eyes watered up. How she planned when she was going to have a baby; was the father was going to be there and be with her. She didn't want him to just help take care of it and not be there with her. Tears slid down her face, "Why'd this happen to me? I never did anything wrong, so why me?"

She let Ryan pull her into a hug and she cried against his chest.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this, Ryan. Maybe we should just put the baby up for adoption and we can move on from this." she said. "I'm so scared."

"Hey come on, don't talk like that. It's our baby, we should keep it and take care of it." he said.

"But I don't want take care of it alone." she said.

He pulled back, "I thought we talked about this."

"It's not what I want though!" she said a little too quickly before she could stop herself. Her hand came up to her mouth.

He looked confused, "What do you mean, Lil?"

She shook her head and wiped her face, "N-nothing," she said, turning around to walk away, but he grabbed her arm, turning her back around.

"Tell me what you want and I'll try to help the best I can." he said.

She lowered her head, "You're going to think I'm childish."

"No I won't, I'll take you seriously." he said.

She hesitated a few moments, blushing up. "I want...I want us to be together, to be a family." she said and when he didn't say anything, she quickly added. "But I know you don't want that and that's okay and that's why I think adoption is the best thing now. It's stupid of us to think we can raise a baby as friends."

"I...I don't really know what to say to that." he said and she wanted to cry. "I don't know, Lillian. Jeanette and I-",

"I know!" she said. "But seeing you together...it's hard. And it'll just be a lot harder after it comes. I'll have no friends and I'll probably be hated by everyone in the 10th grade." She felt her emotions boiling up, the pressure weighing on her that made her feel weak. She knew she was jusr upset, her brain making her say crazy things. She was pregnant and didn't know what she wants.

"I won't let anyone bully you though-",

"That doesn't mean anything, Ryan!" she snapped. "You'll look like the victim and I'm some criminal. And I know this because Jeanette or one of her friends will say I was jealous and made you have sex with me. I know them, Ryan. They're saying something close to that about Tamara Rogen."

"Well...whatever you want, I'll agree to it."

She groaned and pushed him, not being able to help herself, "Stop saying that, why can't you just help me with the decision?" she said angrily. "Actually, why don't you do what most guys do and leave me the hell alone?"

He gave her a hard look, "Do you want that?" he asked, angry now himself.

"Of course not! But if you're just going to be there just to help support it, why the hell not! Money isn't as important as having you there and I'm sure Jeanette won't let you be there."

"Jeanette doesn't own me." he said. "And don't talk to me as if I'm going to be some dead beat dad. You don't know that, I could probably be the best dad there is."

She snorted, "You haven't even started looking for a job. If you don't start soon, I will because everything is expensive now!"

"Fine, give it up for adoption, I don't care!" he snapped before leaving her there.

Lillian stood there, feeling so very emotional. She wasn't sure if she was angry or upset. New tears slid down her face, more scared now than ever. She put her hands on her stomach, feeling so empty inside. She didn't know what to do now. So she called her mother and asked her to pick her up. She didn't want to be at school anymore now.