I wish I could say that I regret talking to Colton. But I don't. Even though it didn't go anywhere near how I expected, I addressed my feelings and now I can move on. Or try to. I keep thinking about what he said and replaying it.

I don't know what to feel. I'm not sad or angry. I'm not upset. I'm just...lost. I feel stupid and embarassed. But even though everything thing is horribly fucked up and it's my fault, I still can't say that I regret it. Any of it. I'll never regret that fucking week.

As much as I want to hate Colton, I can't. I'm grateful for him in a way. He gave me the best days I've had in awhile. It's like seeing him reminded me of me. So, I just have to say goodbye to the good times, the fun times, and move on. I won't waste more tears or more time on Colton. I have to move on with my life.

It's almost like it never happened. Whatever the fuck this morning was...me addressing my feelings. No one really knows. I made my flight with no issues. The only people who know what happened are me and Colton. And Cooper and Malik to some extent.

Bryce doesn't know. Dad doesn't know. Maybe no one else needs to know.

***********************
I smile when I see Tasha and Bobbe waiting for me outside the airport. Bobbe runs up and throws his arms around my waist. "Hey, little man!" I say.

He grins. "I missed you. Momma's nicer when you're 'round."

Tasha shakes her head. "You don't even know what to know what he did," Tasha says as she hugs me. "How was your trip?"

"I don't even know where to start," I say.

Bobbe grins. "How about with milkshakes and fries?"

Tasha stares at him and says, "I already told you, and I'll tell you again: no more sugar."

I grin at Bobbe. "I think a milkshake sounds amazing."

Tasha shakes her head. "Fine," she mutters. I put my bags in the trunk and get in the car. "I hope you know you're getting the smallest size they offer, young man," she tells Bobbe.

Bobbe sticks his tongue out at her. "You're gonna get wrinkles."

Tasha shakes her head and mutters something I can't hear. She looks at me briefly. "So, what happened?"

I smile. "So much. I don't even know what to say."

"Your nose piercing is cute," she says.

I smile. "Thank you. I got it with Colton—" I cut myself off.

Tasha's eyes widen. "Colton?" she asks.

"Uh, yeah. A lot happened, like I said," I say. I feel Bobbe kicking the back of my seat. I turn around and look at him.

He flashes me the sweetest smile as he says, "It'll stop kicking your seat if you share your milkshake with me."

I grin. "Deal."

"Cool," he says. He puts his little headphones on and goes on his tablet.

Tasha shakes her head. "I swear that kid is gonna be the death of me," she says. "But what about you? What the fuck happened? You have to tell me everything."

"I don't even know where to start," I tell her, rubbing my face. "Bryce proposed."

Tasha's jaw drops. "Homeboy did what?"

I shake my head. "He fucking showed up on Christmas Eve with a ring."

"Did you say yes?"

"No," I tell her. "I said I needed him to give me time. And I said I needed to be around him and remember what it was like to be a couple."

"So, you panicked and asked for time?" Tasha says.

I shrug. "I wouldn't put it like that, but yeah."

Tasha turns right and Bobbe says, "Where are we going? This isn't the way to—"

Tasha looks at him in the rearview mirror. "We're getting shakes after your nap, mister."

"Damn it," Bobbe says as he glares at her.

She pulls into a parking garage and parks. Tasha looks at me. "Are you cool with this? If you want to go home, I can drop you off," she offers.

"I'm good," I tell her. "I don't really want to go back to my apartment."

"Sleepover!" Bobbe yells. He yanks my suitcase from the trunk.

Tasha looks at me. "You don't have to," she says.

I grin. "I'd love to, if you're cool with it."

"I'd love the help with Bobbe," she says. Right on cue, Bobbe grabs my hand and starts pulling me to the elevator.

"Can you make waffles tomorrow morning?" he says. "And pancakes! I love pancakes, but you have to put extra chocolate chips."

I grin. "I'll try, buddy."

Tasha shakes her head as we get onto the elevator. "How is that kid only six?" she mutters.

I smile. "He's really cute."

"You mean assertive and naughty?" she says.
"Yeah. I love him."

"Love you too," Bobbe says, looking up at her. "And you should show your love me by buying me a big shake."

She looks at him. "Can you just go to sleep already?"

"I'm sleepin' in your bed," Bobbe tells her as the elevator dings and we get off. Once we get to their apartment, I wait in the kitchen while Tasha puts Bobbe down for his nap.

She comes back after five minutes and sits down at the table.

"So, continue," she says. "Bryce poposed."

"Yeah," I say.

"And?" she asks. "Are you staying with him? Dumping him?"

I shrug. "I don't know. He's getting back on Wednesday. We're trying to work things out." I sigh. "He wants to marry me, Tasha. Fucking marry me, and spend the rest of his life with me. And I just...I have no fucking clue."

She smiles reassuringly. "We're gonna figure it out, boo. I promise."

I smile back. "Thank you."

"So, tell me about Colton," she says.

I laugh. "Oh, god. That's even more complicated," I tell her. "Somehow, over seven days, he managed to make me care about him. I'm not going to say love, but like, fuck. If he did that to me in seven days...love wouldn't be too far off if we had more time."

Tasha's frowning, like she's thinking deeply. "Did you guys fuck? Or...?"

"No. We never even kissed," I tell Tasha.
"Colton's so hard to describe. He's like a whirlwind that fucks everything up, but in the best way. He made me so happy."

Tasha's frown deepens. "And you're with Bryce because?"

I sigh. "The whole time I was with Colton, I told myself I had to be fair to Bryce. And by being fair, I couldn't act on my feelings," I tell her. "But this morning, I said fuck it."

"What happened?" Tasha asks.

I shrug. "I guess Colton didn't want a relationship." I think about the words that stung me the most: Please don't call me when you get your phone fixed.

"Well, shit. That's a lot."

I nod. "Yeah. That's not even all of it. Everything was such a blur."

"What happened to your phone?" she asks.

"Oh. Right," I say. "So, we went to church. And I went to go find Colton, and I found him unconscious in a bathroom. As soon as I saw him, I dropped my phone, which shattered and was basically destroyed."

Tasha stares at me. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah. The whole thing was really strange. He said it was a mix of food poisoning and low blood pressure," I explain. "But it didn't really add up. I talked to my buddies at the hospital and we were all confused. And Colton's mom didn't know anything, so I doubt he's sick."

"Is there anything else? Anything more dramatic?" she as she laughs.

I grin. "Probably. I'll tell you when I remember it." I glance down on hallway. "What about you and Bobbe? Anything exciting?"

She smiles. "He's getting really big. And he's a bigger brat, the older he gets, but I love him."

"Aww," I say. "He is getting big. When does he go back to school?"

"Tomorrow," Tasha says. "Praise Jesus for that."

"Did Santa come for him this year?" I ask.

"Yes," Tasha says. "But barely."

I smile. "That's good."

"Or sounds like your Christmas was more interesting than ours," she says. "When are you getting your phone fixed?"

I shrug. "I have no idea. Money is kind of tight right now."

"Maybe you can pick up a few shifts at Brooke's family's restaurant," she offers.

I think about it for a minute. "Yeah. That's smart. Thank you."

Tasha grins. "Damn right I am," she says. "You can borrow my phone to call her, and Bryce if you need to."

She leaves her phone on the table and walks away to check on Bobbe. I sigh as I look at her phone. The only person I want to call is Colton, but I can't.

I pick it up and click on Brooke's contact. She picks up almost immediately. "Hey, Tash. What's up?"

I smile. I don't see Brooke as much as I see Tasha, but I really enjoy her. "Hey! So it's Andy actually. I wanted to ask a favor."

"Oh, hey! How are you? How was your trip? And of course."

"I'm okay. It was...interesting. Anyways, I was hoping I could pick up a few shifts at the restaurant tomorrow," I say, biting my lip.

"Would you? That would be amazing. There's this new girl that's a bitch. She's bullying all the servers, and no one wants to work tomorrow," Brooke tells me.

"Oh, fun. I'll handle her," I say. "What time should I come in?"

"Probably like seven AM."

"Okay, cool. I'll see you tomorrow."
********************

I can't seem to fall asleep. I keep tossing and turning. I can't stop thinking. I glance at the clock and it's close to one in the morning. I sigh and rub my eyes.

I keep wondering if Colton's tossing and turning, and looking at the clock. And maybe, just maybe, thinking of me. Because I can't stop thinking about him. About what could have been. What could have happened. What would have happened if Bryce wasn't in the picture. What it would have been like if we had kissed.

I don't know how I can just walk away from everything. How am I supposed to go back to normal life without Colton? How am I supposed to forget it? Forget how he made me feel? Forget what it was like?

His words keep ringing through my head. I keep remembering how cold his voice was: I don't have feelings for you. I don't love you, Andy. Please don't call me when you get your phone fixed.

Colton doesn't want me.

So none of it fucking matters. And it's such a huge wreck, and most of it is my fault. But I can't keep missing him. I have to get over it. Get over him.

I'll probably never see Colton again. He fucked my life up twice. And Colton probably will never want to see me again.

And I won't call him once my phone is fixed.