I didn't sleep well for what feels like the tenth night in a row. But last night, I slept lightly because I was so scared that I'd wake up and Colton would be gone. I woke up at five am and I peeked out my door and saw him sleeping on the couch. And for the past half an hour, I've been staring at the ceiling thinking about last night.

We kissed for what seems like forever, and eventually, someone came into the closet and we stumbled out like guilty teenagers. We kept looking at each other, but never saying anything.

I don't regret what happened in that closet. All we did was kiss and it felt so good. I know I crossed a line with kissing Colton, but we didn't fuck. And I don't regret what happened. I don't know what's going to happen when Colton wakes up. I wish that there was some way we could just be together, but I'm bracing for Colton to wake up and leave. '

But at least I won't have any regrets. I'll never be sorry for that kiss in the closet.

I hear the toilet flush and I start feeling butterflies in my stomach. Colton's up. I walk out of my bedroom and into the kitchen. It's an open space between the kitchen and the living room where Colton's sleeping.

I pour a cup of coffee. I hear Colton's footsteps and I look over my shoulder. "Hey," I say, trying not to seem so awkward.

"Hey," Colton says.

"Do you want coffee?" I ask. He nods, so I pour him a cup. We both sit down at the table.

"Do you always get up early?" Colton asks.

I shrug. "Just lately. I didn't sleep very well," I tell Colton.

"Why didn't you sleep well?" He takes a drink of his coffee.

I sigh, lean my head into my hand as I look at him. "I was worried that you'd be gone before I woke up," I say.

"Andy," he sighs, and it sends a shiver down my back.

"I know," I say quietly. I sigh again as I search his eyes. "I don't know why everything has to be complicated."

Colton doesn't say anything for a minute, and we're just searching each other's eyes, and it's like we both know we can't be together.

"What happened last night," Colton says, "can't ever happen again."

"I know," I pause for a minute. "But you don't regret it, right? I don't."

"That's the problem," Colton says, and I'm staring at him, trying to make sense of everything.

"Do you want it to happen again?" I ask Colton, as I bite my lip. I'd be so utterly, crushed if he didn't want it to. And I almost regret asking it.

"I shouldn't say this," Colton tells me, "But it's all I've thought about doing sense I saw you on that damn plane."

I don't sT anything for a minute. "Are we really so bad for each other?" I sigh and start playing with the handle of my coffee cup.

Colton doesn't answer my question but he says, "I'll stay until Friday morning, but nothing can happen between us."

I nod. I'll take it because it's so much better than nothing, than having him leave. And I still don't know if I just care about him, or if it's something worse. If I love Colton, it's like I'm such a fucking hypocrite because I was with Colton when I fell in love with Bryce. And it's like the same thing, but we're not teenagers anymore.

And once Colton's gone, he fucking gone and I won't see him again. I still haven't made peace with that, and I don't know how I will. But for right now, being around him has to be enough, and I'll always know that at least he kissed me back.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask Colton.

He sighs. "Yeah, and you've been doing that for the past few minutes."

I smile, but then it's serious. "Is it because of Bryce or because of me?"

"What do you mean?" Colton says.

I shrug. "If I wasn't with Bryce, would you still leave me? And still push me away and not let anything happen?" I ask him. "Or is it because of me?"

"I'm not..." Colton sighs. "You deserve someone that's good for you."

"And that's not you?" I ask.

"You have a future with Bryce," Colton says. "And he wants to marry you, which means that you're his entire world."

I know it shouldn't hurt, but it almost does. It's like Colton's saying that...I don't know. It's like he's saying that Bryce loves me and he doesn't. I really want to ask him, but I'm not your entire world? But I can't.

I sigh. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do without you," I say, and it slips out even though I didn't mean to sound so desperate.

Colton smiles in a bittersweet way. "You don't need anyone. You're fucking amazing," he says.

**********************

"How's Bobbe?" I ask Tasha. I picked up muffins and brought them over to Tasha's apartment. Bobbe's still sleeping. They stayed at the hospital until Bobbe fell asleep and Tasha carried him to the car. And Majeste hasn't woken up yet.

"He's out cold," Tasha tells me. "I need some tea. I need a distraction." I try to keep a straight face, but Tasha stares at me. "Andy, you better tell me."

"So, it's a long story," I tell her, pushing my hair back. "But Colton's staying with me right now."

"Girl, how the fuck did you find him?" she asks.

I shrug. "He was talking to Rachel at the restaurant in the locker room. And he asked her for a place to stay, and she told him to go fuck himself. So, I said he could stay with me."

"He dated Rachel? Like the bitch that no one wants to work with?" Tasha asks. "And how do you explain all of that so nonchalantly?"

"That's the one. He dated her for like four years," I explain. "But after the hospital, I came back upset, and he took me to a bar to help distract me. And somehow, we ended up in a closet kissing. But he's leaving on Friday."

"You kissed him?" Tasha asks.

"Yes," I say. "But before you yell at me, nothing else happened."

"I'm not going to yell at you," Tasha says. "Are you going to tell Bryce?"

"Oh, fuck. I have no idea," I say. "Fuck."

"Yikes," Tasha says. She sighs. "Andy, I'm saying this as a friend: you need to end things with Bryce. And I'm not saying you have to be with Colton, but you've been so much happier since you've been around him."

I don't say anything because I know she's right. But it's not like Colton's going to be with me, he said that Bryce loved me and that I deserved someone like that.

"How's Bobbe doing?" I ask.

"He's okay," Tasha says. "He won't tell me if he's sad. He thinks he needs to be tough."

I sigh. "This is so fucked up."

"Y'all better have saved me a chocolate muffin," Bobbe says as he jumps up onto the chair next to me.

I grin. "I saved you a double chocolate chip one."

"Cool," Bobbe says, sitting and kicking his feet back and forth.

"You're not going to eat it?" Tasha asks.

Bobbe shrugs. "I was gonna bring it to the hospital and give it to Majeste," he says. "Can we leave soon to go and see him?"

Tasha looks at me, and she looks torn. "Uh...as long as his mom is okay with it," she says.

"Did he wake up yet?" Bobbe asks, still swinging his feet.

"Not yet, sweetie," Tasha tells him. "Do you want to do something? We could go to a movie or an arcade or something."

"Maybe a movie," Bobbe says. "But can we go see Majeste after?"

"Yeah. Why don't you go and get ready?" Tasha says. Bobbe nods and jumps down from his chair. Tasha sighs. "I really hope Majeste is okay."

"Me too," I say. "What movie should we see"

Tasha pulls out her phone and starts looking through showtimes and movies. "I don't know. I'll ask Bobbe what he wants to see."

"Okay."

Tasha grins suddenly and looks at me. "How about you invite Colton to the movie so I  can meet him?"

"Oh...uh, I don't..." I trail off and look around.

"Call him on my phone," Tasha says. She gives me her phone. I sigh and take it. I stand up and go over to where the window is.

I dial Colton's phone number. He probably won't pick up anyways.

"Hey. Who is this?" he says.

"Oh, it's uh, Andy," I tell him. "We wanted to know if you wanted to go to a movie with us, but you can say no."

"Who's we?" Colton asks.

"Tasha and Bobbe and me."

"Sure," he says.

I feel a grin spreading across my face. "Wait, really?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says.

Tasha hands me a piece of paper with a movie name and time, and I tell Colton and then say goodbye.

Tasha grins at me. "Oh, no," I say. "What are you planning?"

"Come on, girl. We're gonna get ready," she tells me.

"Do you have any concealer?" I ask.

"You forgot that I used to be a makeup artist," Tasha says.

By the time we're at the movie theater, I look like a different person. Tasha gave me a shirt that showed off my boobs and she did my makeup in a natural way that made me look more awake, but she also popped my eyes by adding a deep, pink, sparkly eyeshadow. And Tasha looks great too. She put on some fake lashes and hoops and red lipstick.

It seems like Bobbe's doing okay. He's holding my hand and looking around. "Are you excited for the movie?" I ask Bobbe.

"Yeah. I guess," he says. Bobbe looks at me. "Who do you and my momma keep whispering about?"

"Oh," I say, feeling my face redden a little bit. "Colton. He's my friend, I guess."

"Okay," Bobbe says. "Can I get a soda and candy and popcorn?'

I grin. "Sure."

Tasha turns around and looks at us. "Don't have too much sugar. Remember what happened last time."

"Whatever." Bobbe goes back to looking around.

I look around and I see Colton walking towards us. I smile and wave at him. "Wait, that's Colton?" Tasha says.

"Yeah. Why?" I ask.

Tasha hits me. "You didn't tell me he was that hot."

I shrug. "Hey," I say as he walks up to us.

"Hey," Colton says.

Tasha grins. "I'm Tasha. And this is my son Bobbe," she says.

Colton smiles. "It's nice to meet you. Andy's told me a lot about you guys," Colton says.

"We've heard stuff about you too," Tasha says.

Colton looks at me and I blush. "So, we should go into the theater. We already have tickets," I say quickly.

Tasha and Bobbe walk in front of me and Colton. Colton bumps his shoulder into mine. "You look nice," he says.

"Oh," I say, blushing again. "Thanks for coming with us."

"Yeah," Colton says. He grins. "So, what exactly did you say about me?"

"Nothing super important," I tell him.

"You guys should find seats," Tasha says. "We'll get snacks."

"Nah," Bobbe says. Tasha frowns at him. "I want Andy to get concessions with me."

I look at Colton and he shrugs. "That's fine with me."

"Okay," Tasha says. She and Colton start to walk away.

Bobbe grins as he tugs on my hand. "Momma won't let me get popcorn and candy and a slushie," he tells me.

I grin as I look down at him. "Oooh. That's what this is about."

Bobbe shrugs. "What are you gonna get? I was gonna get a cherry slushie and a chocolate bar and some gummy bears and popcorn with extra salt," he says.

"Can I have some of yours?" I ask. He thinks about for a second.

"I guess. But get your own slushie," Bobbe says.

I grin. "Deal." We move up in line. "Wait, what happens when you have too much sugar?"

"I either sleep or..." he starts to giggle.

"Oh, no," I say, eyeing him. His eyes are twinkling. "You know what? I probably don't even want to know."

"Good call." We get up to order and I order everything that Bobbe wants, and he grins evilly and throws in another kind of candy. I can barely see his face behind the huge bucket of popcorn and his giant slushie cup.

The lights are dimmed when we walk into the theater. "Fuck," I mutter. I look down at Bobbe. "Oh. Oops. I didn't say that word."

"My teacher said it once," he tells me as we start walking towards where I think Tasha and Colton are.

"She did?" I ask.  He nods.

"There momma is," he tells me. We finally get to the seats and Tasha stares at Bobbe.

"How did you get all of that sugar, mister?" she asks. Bobbe grins and jerks his finger at me. "Oh. You're sneaky. God, I knew you weren't just being cute."

I smile as I sit down next to Colton. "Is that slushie for me?" he asks.

"Um...I guess we can share it," I say.

He grins. "I was just kidding."

The lights dim and the previews start. I suddenly feel butterflies in my stomach, which is probably because Colton's right next to me. I feel my heart racer faster in anticipation that he might hold my hand.

I take a drink of my slushie and try to get my hormones in check. We're at a kids' movie. He probably won't do anything. I look at Bobbe and he has a huge grin as he's surrounded by his mountain of sugar. At least he looks like a kid again and happy.

I feel Colton's fingers brush my hand and I nearly jump. I turn to look at him and he just grins as he takes my slushie cup out of my hand. "You should relax a little bit," he murmurs quietly to me.

"Sure," I mutter we I go back to trying to watch the movie. After a few minutes, Colton still hasn't done anything. I sigh as I look at him. He's looking at the screen and his hand is on the armrest in between us. I keep my gaze straight ahead as I move my hand towards his. I feel his gaze burning into me as my fingers brush his forearm and then move down his wrist to touch his hand. I slip my hand under his and Colton laces his fingers with mine. I pull our hands down so they're resting on my leg and I hear him take a sharp breath in.

Having his skin against mine feels so good. And the heat of his hand on my legs feels even better. I rub my thumb along his and his hand tightens slightly. He moves his leg so that it's touching mine. I close my eyes and tilt my head back slightly. This feels so fucking good. If I had to spend the rest of my life holding Colton's hand and with his leg pressed against mine, I'd die fucking happy.

"Hey," Tasha whispers. I sit up and she grins when she sees my hand. "We're going to the bathroom."

Tasha winks at me as she and Bobbe walk down the stairs. I look around the theater. There are a few other people, but everyone is in front of us.

Colton's hand moves from mine, but I feel his hand on my leg and the butterflies in my stomach increase. I sit up and place my hands on Colton's chest, bringing my lips to his ear. "I wish we could stay like this forever," I tell him quietly. I feel his heart racing as I move my hand slowly down his abdomen to feel his abs. Colton sighs as he moves closer to me.

And it's like we're just stuck in time. We're so close to each other, but not kissing. Someone coughs and I lean back in my chair. Colton keeps his hand on my leg.