"You know something?" I yell to Colton over the loud music. "I thought this was gonna be like a dinner party!"

"What?" he yells. "Oh, yeah! No, it's like a college party!"

The party started like an hour ago. There's music blasting from a speaker, dim lighting and drunken adults dancing on each other. It honestly feels like a college party.

"Is it weird that I feel out of place?" I yell.

"I don't think so! I do too!" Colton yells. "I can't even find my mom!"

I scan the room. "Oh! I see her! She's dancing with some woman—Holy shit! That's my aunt!"

"What?" Colton yells.

"Can we go to your room?" I yell. He nods. We walk through the crowded hallway into Colton's room. Thankfully, there's no one in there. It's slightly less loud.

"What'd you say?" Colton yells.

I laugh. "You don't have to yell anymore," I tell him.

He nods. "Oh, yeah. Right."

I laugh. "I never expected this," I tell Colton.

He shrugs. "I kind of did."

"So, are we just gonna hide in your room?" I ask.

"Yeah. Unless you wanna get high," Colton offers.

I shrug. "Maybe later." I sigh and sit down on Colton's desk chair. "I'm so fucking bored."

"Me too," Colton says. He sits down on his bed.

"I feel like we've done everything," I tell him. "And talked about everything."

He grins in a shit-eating way. "You haven't said much about Bryce."

I shrug. "You haven't said much about your ex-girlfriend."

Colton grins. "I don't have too. I still have two questions from the flight."

"Well, those expired," I tell Colton as I roll my eyes.

He shrugs. "How about I get to ask you one question about Bryce and you get to ask me one question about my ex."

My eyes narrow. "I get two questions."

"Fine," Colton says. "You go first."

"What was her name?" I ask. Colton raises his eyebrows in confusion. "You won't say her name."

He sighs. "Rachel."

"Why did she think you had feelings for someone else?" I ask.

Colton sighs again. He leans back on his bed. "I already told you," he says. "She was convinced that I was still in love with someone else."

I frown. "But who? I thought she was your only girlfriend since—"

Colron cuts me off. "My turn," he says, sitting up. "You and Bryce are having problems. Are they because you don't love him anymore?"

I frown. "How the fuck would you know how I feel?"

"I saw what you were typing on the plane," he tells me.

I take a deep breath in. "Bryce and I are having problems because he's always gone. And in his stupid fucking ignorant bubble, he doesn't realize I'm not happy. And I'm not happy because he's always gone, I'm not at Harvard and he doesn't know how I feel," I explain, trying not to lose my cool.

"And you don't love him anymore," Colton adds.

"I don't know how I feel about Bryce. I probably love him, but I just need to fucking talk to him to figure it out."

"Look, I'm not a relationship expert or anything," Colton starts, "but it's obvious that Bryce doesn't make you happy. You literally just went from happy to irritated just by talking about him."

I roll my eyes. "So do you suggest I do, Mr. Relationship Expert?"

Colton shrugs. "I would say try talking to him," Colton starts, stopping when he sees my eyes flare. "But you've obviously tried that. So, dump the fucker or forget about him for a little while."

I start laughing. Colton's serious face cracks into a grin. "Thanks."

He nods. "See, I am good."

"Whatever." I roll my eyes. "You're not that good. I'm still bored."

Colton grins. "I can fix that too," he says. "We could go for a walk, go to a bar, go get another tattoo, get into some trouble...the possibilities are endless."

"I don't drink, don't really want a tattoo, at least now, I'd rather not get in trouble...you're not that good." I cross my arms over my chest.

"Well, let's go for a drive and then figure something out," Colton says. "Unless you wanna stay here."

Almost on cue, two adults come stumbling into together. They frown when they see us. "Try the door to the left of this," Colton says. They nod and leave.

I frown. "What's the door to left?"

"My mom's room," he says, grinning. "So, are we getting out of here or what?"

I stand up. "Yeah. Let's go."

He grins as he stands up. "See? I am good."

I rub my arms. "Can I get one of your sweatshirts?" I ask. Colton grabs one from his closet and hands it to me. We walk out of his room into the deafening music. Colron grabs keys from one of the kitchen drawers.

Someone taps my arm. "Where are you going?" Auntie yells.

I grin. "For a drive!"

"Okay! Have fun!" she yells as she walks away.

Colton touches my arm and I turn around and nod. We push through people and grab our coats. Colton and I finally make it outside the apartment.

I shake my head. "I still can't believe that was your mom's fucking party," I tell Colton as we walk down the hallway to the elevator. "I thought it was gonna be like a boring dinner party."

"Yeah, no. That's my mom. Extra as fuck," Colton says.

"Wouldn't the neighbors complain?" I ask.

Colton grins at me as we get on the elevator. "They would, if they weren't invited. My mom invites the people above us, below us, next to us...most of the building."

I laugh. "Sounds about right."

We get off the elevator and walk through the lobby. Once we're outside, Colton starts walking to the car. I stop him. "Hey, give me the damn keys," I say.

He grins and tosses them to me. I smile in a self-satisfied way as I get into the driver's seat. "So, where are we going?" Colton asks as I pull away.

I shrug. "Wherever the fuck we want."

********************

I've been driving for an hour. I have no idea where we are, but I really don't care. Colton and I haven't said much, but it's not awkward. I'm just happy to be fucking driving. Driving away from all of the things that are stressing me out.

I think the main thing is Bryce, but he's somewhere that I don't even know. He just...I feel like we don't work anymore. We can't seem to talk and he can't seem to grasp how I feel. And the strangest part of all that Colton gets me.

Colton gets me.

I don't know why. He shouldn't. We dated briefly in high school and were only friends for a few months. And then four years later, Colton miraculously understands me. He makes me laugh, keeps me smiling, reminds me that I have to live to my life.

And all Bryce does is stress me out.

"We should stop for gas soon," Colton tells me.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," I say.

"Do know where we're going?" Colton asks.

"Not a clue," I say as I look for any signs pointing to a gas station.

"So..." Colton says. "What do you want for Christmas."

I frown at him before looking back at the road. "The fuck are you talking about?"

Colton shrugs. "I just figured the parents would make us get gifts for each other."

"Yeah, I guess. Except, tomorrow's Christmas Eve," I tell him.

"Most stores are still open," he says. "So, what do you want?"

I smile. "You know what the funny thing is?" I ask. "I think you've given me anything I could have wanted."

"Like what?" Colton asks.

I shrug. "This probably sounds dumb, but it's like you reminded me of me. You know, you keep telling me to focus on today, to live in today. And you make me laugh."

Colron smiles, but then his face turns serious. "I know I really shouldn't say this, but I think I have to," he says. I frown. "And I'm not saying this because of my ego."

"Okay?" I ask.

Colton sighs. "Your problems are because of Bryce," he says.

This weird feeling passes over me. I feel my cheeks start to redden, but it's not because I'm embarrassed. It feels like dread is pooling in my stomach.

"It's not hard to see. Just think about it. He stresses you out. You can't seem to say anything good about him. It just seems like a bad relationship, you know? Falling in love is hard, but staying in love is harder."

I swallow, gripping the steering wheel. "Maybe," I say quietly.

Colton sighs again. "Look, I probably don't know what I'm talking about."

"No, you're right."

I start thinking about it. Colton's right. My relationship is falling apart with Bryce. We don't talk anymore and I don't trust him. I went through his things, trying to find something. We just...don't work anymore.

"Shit," I say. The car feels too small. It feels like I'm trapped. I pull over to the side of the road abruptly and get out of the car. I start walking away. "Shit!" I yell. I start walking faster. "Shit!" I yell again. I tug on my hair as I keep walking.

It really fucking sucks to realize your relationship is falling apart. And then to know that you can't even do anything about it. "Shit!" I yell. My relationship sucks. And it's practically over at this point. And it fucking sucks. "Shit!"

"Andy," Colton says. He taps my shoulder.

"What?" I yell, turning around.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I'm not." I touch my face and frown when it's wet. "Shit," I say quietly. I turn around and keep walking.

"Where are you going?" Colton calls from behind me. "You're just walking in circles."

"Stop fucking following me," I say. I wipe tears away.

Fuck. I never wanted to cry over some stupid relationship. I told myself I'd never be one of those girls. But here I am, crying over Bryce because our relationship sucks and I can't even talk to him.

"Andy," Colton says again.

I stop and look at him. "What?" I ask, my voice quivers slightly. And I almost cry harder because I'm upset that I'm crying.

"It's okay," he says. "It's okay to cry. It's okay to be upset."

"It's so stupid," I mutter. I wipe tears away. "It's fucking stupid. I never wanted to cry."

"It's okay," Colton says again.

"No, it's not. My relationship is fucked up and I've done everything I can to try and fix it. But he won't even pick up his stupid phone." I look at Colton. "And it just sucks. It really sucks to know your relationship might be over."

Colton shrugs. "Don't worry, Andy."

I glare at him. "Why the fuck shouldn't I be worried?"

"I don't know. You have problems, but they might be able to be fixed," Colton says. "Come on. Let's just go back to your place."

I stare at him. I want to yell some more and ask him why the fuck he even cares. But I don't. "Fine," I sigh quietly.

*************************

"Fuck," I mutter. It's two in the morning and I can't sleep. I keep thinking about Bryce and how we're not doing good. And then I pick up my phone and try to call him, but end up chickening out.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I keep thinking, and the more I think, the more worried I get. What if he's cheating? What if he's always with someone and that's why he always ignores my calls? What if he wanted me to stay in New York so he could break up with me?

Fuck. I think Bryce might be cheating. And then I feel guilty because Bryce might be cheating and I kind of am too. Nothing's happened between Colton and I, we're just friends. But I feel guilty because Colton makes me really happy, and Bryce doesn't.

I just need to talk to Bryce.

I sigh and call him. It goes to voicemail. "Bryce, please answer your phone. We really need to talk. I just...we need to talk, okay? Call me back." I sigh and end the voicemail.

Bryce and I really need to talk.