My mouth is hanging open. I blink and try to see if I'm imagining this because Bryce just asked me to marry him.

"What?" I ask.

Bryce smiles. "Andy Reed, will you marry me?"

I swallow and stare at him. My heart's beating so fast as I'm realizing what he's asking. All of the memories hit me at once. Bryce flashes before my eyes as I remember kissing him in the rain and then falling passionately into love. But then all of the stress and worrying hits me and this sick feeling hits my stomach.

Bryce is asking for my future. And I know how it goes.

"I...I, look, Bryce...uh..." I trail off. Fuck. I have nothing to say. I don't have an answer.

Bryce frowns. "Andy?"

I rub the back of my neck and look behind me at the door. "Look, Bryce," I start. I take a step closer to him. "I don't know. You did this shit out of nowhere."

Bryce frowns even more. "Nowhere?" he asks. "You think I did this out of nowhere?"

"Yes?" I frown. "You were gone for like four fucking months. We barely talked. I thought we were going to break—" I cut myself off.

"Break up?" Bryce asks incredulously. "You want to break up?"

My eyes widen. "Hey, I never said that," I tell him.

Bryce stares at me, deeply staring. He's trying to figure something out. He slams the ring box shut. "You didn't fucking have to," he mutters. Bryce starts walking away.

"Hey, is everything okay—" Colton starts, stopping when he sees us. "Oh, shit," he mutters.

Bryce whips around. "What the fuck?" he says. "This is fucking ridiculous." Bryce starts walking again.

"Hey!" Colton yells. "Don't walk away like a bitch."

"Can you go back inside?" I ask Colton quietly. He shrugs. I sigh. "Please, Colton?"

"Fine," Colton sighs. "Don't be a bitch, man!" he yells over his shoulder as he walks inside.

Bryce is unlocking his car at this point. "Shit," I mutter. I start walking to his car. I'm not gonna run after him. I don't want to look desperate. "Can you wait for a second?" I call after him.

Bryce sighs. He's waiting impatiently with his car door open. "It makes sense now," he says. "You fucking like him again."

I frown. "This isn't about Colton. This is about us, okay?" I say. "We need to talk because we're obviously not on the same page."

"That's not my fault," Bryce says.

I bite my tongue. "I...maybe. But you've been gone, okay? I haven't talked to you in forever."

Bryce sighs. He tugs on his hair, smiling bitterly. "I didn't think it would go like this," he says quietly. "Shit. I'm going to go to my mom's."

"So...what the fuck are we supposed to do?" I ask. Bryce shrugs. "Can we talk tomorrow, I guess?"

"Yeah. That's fine," Bryce says. He sighs again. "Will you think about it at least? The ring?"

"Oh...uh, yeah. Sure," I say. I rub my arms. "See you tomorrow."

I can't stop cursing in my head as I walk away from Bryce. He fucking sandbagged me. He's gone for months and then shows up with a ring? On Christmas Eve? After I just realized all of our issues.

What the fuck was I supposed to do? Say yes? Say no? Say nothing? I think I did the right thing. Fuck. I guess I'll deal with it tomorrow.

Dad smiles when he sees me walking in. "How'd it go?" he asks excitedly.

My stomach drops and feels even sicker. "Uh...we...Bryce and I need to talk," I spit out. I rub the back of my neck and go back to my spot even though all I want to do is go up to my room.

"You okay?" Colton asks. I shrug. "What happened?"

Dad, Alex and Auntie go back to talking as we start passing the food around. "He proposed," I say quietly.

"What?" Colton asks.

"Bryce proposed." I put a roll of bread on my plate and look at Colton. It seems like his face paled. He doesn't take the bread when I try to pass it to him. "Colton?"

"Huh? What?" he asks quickly. He shakes his head and grabs the bread. He passed it to his mom quickly. "Give me your hand," he says, staring intently at me.

"What? Why?" I ask. Colton doesn't say anything. I sigh and give him my hand.

He seems to sigh in relief. "You said no."

I shrug. "I said we needed to talk." Colton doesn't say anything. I stare at him. "What?"

He shrugs. "Nothing." We eat in silence for a few minutes and then he says, "How are you? Like, do you wanna get high or cry or something?"

I take a drink of my water and shrug. "I don't know. To be honest, I could get drunk or cry or laugh or go crazy and shit my pants."

Colton smiles. "How about we don't do the last option?"

"Okay." I swear I always smile when Colton smiles. But I don't really smile with Bryce.

********************

I don't know what to do about Bryce. I'm the kind of person that always knows or has some idea. But I'm lost. I don't know how I can yes to him after our problems. But I don't know if I can say no either.

I think I love him. And I loved him passionately at one point. We've been together for four years. And he hasn't done anything wrong, except being too busy with work. But none of that helps me. I don't even have a gut feeling about what to do.

Maybe we just need to talk. Maybe he'll be the same Bryce I fell in love with. Maybe he'll work less. Maybe we're too young to get married.

Maybe I have no clue what to do.

I've been trying to figure it out for the past few hours and I haven't gotten anywhere. It's two in the morning. And I just don't know.

I don't know how I feel about Bryce. I don't know how I feel when I'm with him. I don't know if I still love him. It's such a complicated mess. The only thing I really know is that I'm not ready to be engaged.

Some voice in my heads keeps making Colton run through my thoughts. What was he going to say before dinner? Why did he act weird with Bryce proposing? Why does he still make me feel like we're in high school?

I get off my bed and start pacing through my dark room. I used to do this during summer nights when I couldn't fall asleep. I sigh and open my window slightly. I don't know where to find answers.

I reach for my phone. I sigh as my finger hovers over his name. I shut my phone off and toss it onto the bed. I start pacing again and then go to the window.

"Fuck it," I mutter. I pick up my phone again and press call. It goes through right away. I take a deep breath in. "Hey. Sorry it's late."