When I wake up, Colton's not in the room. I look at my phone. It's only a little bit past six. He must have gotten up early or not slept well. But I shouldn't even care or think about it.

I stand up and walk into the bathroom. I brush my teeth and my hair. I look a little rough, but I'll do my makeup later. I walk out of the bathroom into the kitchen. While I'm waiting for my coffee to brew, I go over to the door and look out at the pool. Colton isn't there either.

I have no idea where he is. I grab my coffee and walk outside. It's cool out but nice. The sun is just starting to rise and everything seems so peaceful and still. I love watching the sunrise because if you look around, it's like everyone is just starting their day.

I pull out my phone and call Tasha. "Hey."

"Hey, boo! What's up?" she says.

"Not much. Did I wake up you?" I ask.

"No. Bobbe had a nightmare and didn't sleep well, so I've been up for a while," she tells me. "How are you? Is Colton there?"

"I'm sorry. I'm okay. He is here though," I tell her.

"What? That's amazing! You're getting your chance with him," Tasha says. "Did you fuck yet? I bet you did—"

"I think I already had my chance. He doesn't want to be around me, Tasha. Like he's so fucking distant and we keep getting into fights. So, no we didn't fuck," I explain.

Tasha pauses. "It's probably just sexual tension."

I laugh. "I wish."

"I'm sorry, boo. Are you doing okay?" she asks.

"I'm fine. He's just a guy—"

Tasha cuts me off, "He's obviously not just a random guy to you, but go on."

I sigh. "I can't keep chasing him, you know? He's only going to keep leaving. But Tasha, like what if he has a fucking girlfriend? It has been two months, but he would have moved on really fucking fast."

"He's probably just being moody," Tasha offers.

"He told me that he wouldn't have come if he had known that I was," I tell Tasha. "And we wouldn't look at me last night. Is that being moody?"

"Well, that's being a dick," Tasha says. "What has his mom said?"

"She said that he's been off lately. But no one can figure out why." I look at the pool. "But if he has a girlfriend...fuck."

"It'll be okay," Tasha tells me. "You should tell him exactly how you feel, but find the right time. And try not to get into a fight."

"Thank you." I sigh. "I should probably go."

"Okay. Bye. Bobbe says he misses you."

"Aww. I miss him too. Goodbye," I say. I hang up and I look back into the house. It doesn't seem like anyone else is awake.

I walk over to the chair by the pool and lay down as I look up at the sky. Even though I'm a disaster right now, for this minute I feel like it's peaceful.

The gate to the pool open and I sit up. It's Colton. "Fuck, what are you doing here?" he says.

I frown. "What am I doing out by the pool?" I repeat.

"Forget it," Colton mutters. He starts to walk by me, but I grab his arm.

"Colton." His eyes lock with mine. "Can we please talk for a minute?"

"I don't know what you want to talk about," Colton tells me, but he's not moving away and my hand is still on his bicep.

"Us," I tell Colton. His eyes soften slightly. "Please. We really need to talk."

"I...fine," Colton says. I let go of his arm and scoot back in my chair so there's space for him to sit. "Really? I can sit over—"

"Colton, just sit down," I say. He sits down on the very edge of the chair. I sigh. At least he sat down.

"Well?" he says.

I don't say anything for a minute, and I'm just searching his eyes trying to figure out what to say. Finally, I ask, "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" Colton asks.

I sigh. "What changed? What happened to us?" I ask him. "How did things change so drastically from you kissing me under those lights to now? Colton, you barely look or talk to me anymore. What happened?"

Colton doesn't say anything. "I don't want to have this conversation right now."

"I don't want to be having this conversation at all," I say. I rub my neck as I look at him. "Why are things so fucking complicated?"

"They're simple," Colton says quietly.

"Tell me how they're simple."

Colton looks at the pool. "I said it in the letter."

"You fucking left! Your letter said fucking goodbye!" I tell Colton. "I don't know how it's simple to you because it's not to me. You're always cold at first, and then you warm up and then you fucking leave and forget to take me with you."

Colton looks at me. "There are some things you can't know," he says.

"Do you want to know something?" I ask, even though I don't want him to answer. "The last time that everything made sense was when you were kissing me under the Christmas tree lights. And you told me that I made you feel alive. You fucking said that. So, what changed in two months?"

"I have to leave," Colton tells me quietly. "And I can't take you with me."

"Do you want to know something else?" I ask him. "You're a fucking coward for leaving. And if you were really serious, you would have left already. But you're staying, so you must have a reason."

"It's not easy to leave," Colton tells me.

"Then why do you leave?" I ask Colton. "And why can't you give me a fucking answer? What are you afraid of?"

Colton stands up. "I answered your questions."

I stand up too. "Don't walk away. Don't fucking walk away like a coward."

"Stop calling me a coward," Colton says.

"Stop acting like one." I step closer to him. "Give me a fucking reason as to why leaving doesn't make you a coward."

Colton looks at the house, shaking his head. "I don't need to be doing this right now."

"All I want to know is what changed," I tell Colton. And my stomach sinks as I ask him, "Are you seeing someone else?"

He frowns. "Why would you think that?"

"Are you?" I ask Colton. "Please just give me a fucking answer."

"No." Colton's eyes meet mine. "There's no one else. Why do you care?"

"Do you really not know by now?" I ask Colton. "I fucking care about you, Colton."

Colton doesn't say anything as he walks by, and his shoulder brushes mine. I catch a glimpse of the tattoo on his forearm.

"Why did you even get that tattoo if it didn't mean shit to you?" I call after him. Colton stops walking and turns around to look at me.

"Stop saying shit like that. You don't know me," Colton says and my face burns.

"You're right," I tell him slowly. "I don't know you anymore. I don't know the coward you've become."

Colton starts walking towards me again. "Don't call me a fucking coward."

"What are you going to do about it?" I cross my arms over my chest. "Leave? You already fucking did that."

Colton stops with his face close to mine. His eyes are dark again. "Don't call me a fucking coward," he says again slowly. "You don't know the shit I've been through."

"You won't tell me! How the fuck do you expect me to know?" I tell him angrily. My eyes are searching his and we're both angry. This isn't going to go well.

Colton shakes his head. "You're the coward," he tells me. "You're the one that said you weren't going to chase me anymore. You're the one that keeps doing the same thing and bitching about how it went wrong."

"Fuck you."

"Do something," Colton says. "Do something or stop calling me the coward."

"Stop acting like one," I say. "Give me a fucking answer."

"I already did," Colton says. "Do something or walk away."

"You're unbelievable," I mutter. "Do you even care about me? Did you ever?"

"Walk away," Colton repeats.

"That's your job. Why haven't you left yet? I'm calling bullshit on you. God, you're such a stupid little fuck. I can't believe that I ever lo—" I cut myself off.

Colton's face changes. "You can't believe that you ever did what?"

I shake my head. "Forget it. Go fuck yourself and don't talk to me."

"Fine. Don't talk to me either," Colton says.

I swear I almost jump up and down. I'm so fucking frustrated. Every time I talk to Colton, things get worse. And he changed. He really did fucking change.

"Why aren't you walking away?" Colton says.

"Fuck!" I yell as I close my eyes. I open them and look at Colton. "I can't fucking walk away from you and it's driving me insane. God, you're such an asshole and you won't fucking give me my heart back."

"I don't have your heart," Colton says.

I sigh. "Yes, you do, Colton. You always have."

Colton's face falls. "Shit," he mutters. "I...you...Andy."

"What?" I ask desperately.

"You need to move on," Colton tells me. "I already have."

"Then why haven't you left?" I ask, but he's already walking away. He walks into the house and closes the door.

***************************

"Hey, homie! What's up?" Daniel asks. We're at a coffee shop and I stepped outside to call Daniel. If I thought Colton was cold before...I was wrong. He won't look at or talk to me.

"You still down for our plan?" I ask. "I'm wearing your shirt and tan pants."

"Of course. When you wanna meet up?"

"Um..." I look at my watch. "We're going to the pier in like ten minutes. Can you meet there?"

"Definitely. How'd it go with your boy?" Daniel asks.

"Not good. If our plan doesn't work, I don't think anything will." I look through the window at Colton. He's on his phone.

"I'll see you in ten," Daniel says and then hangs up. I sigh. I really hope this idea works, but I guess I have nothing to lose. I already lost Colton.

I walk back inside and sit down. I look at my dad. "Oh, shit! I forgot to say this earlier. Happy birthday!" I say.

Dad smiles. "Thank you."

"Get off your damn phone," Alex tells Colton as she smacks his head lightly.

"Fuck!" Colton mutters. Alex takes his phone.

"Well, we should get going," Dad says. I grab my coffee and stand up. Alex and Dad walk ahead of me and Colton. I want to say something, but I don't even know if it's worth it.

I need to move on because Colton already has. And I have to move on because Colton's going to leave and I won't see him anymore.

I feel like I keep going around in the same circle where I tell myself to get over Colton. But I don't get over him and then I'm surprised when he leaves. I need to be the one to change things this time because he won't change.

I have no idea if he cares about me. The way he's acting and the things he's doing tell me that he doesn't. But then why did he get that tattoo? And why did he care when I called him a coward?

It's like I don't know him anymore. He's distant and cold and not the Colton that I used to know. I still have no idea what changed and Colton won't tell me. It's like...either he's scared of something, or there's something he doesn't want me to know.

"Hey!" I hear someone call. I turn around and see Daniel. I grin when I see what he's wearing. We look so ridiculous but amazing in our red Hawaiian shirts and tan pants with white sneakers.

"Hey!" I grin as I walk over to him. "You look good."

"We're matching," he tells me.

"I know." I look over at my dad. He, Alex and Colton have stopped walking and they're looking at us. "Oh, shit. Everyone's looking at us."

Daniel looks over at Colton. "That's your boy?"

"Yeah. Why?" I ask.

"He looks mad. You wanna see something funny?" Daniel says. "Watch his face."

Daniel kisses me quickly and then pulls away. He loops his arm around my shoulder. "He's a bright red motherfucka now."

I look at Colton. "Oh, shit. He does look mad."

"You gonna introduce me to the fam?" Daniel asks.

"Sure." We walk over to where everyone is.

"I'm Daniel," Daniel says before I can introduce him.

"Nice to meet you," Dad says.

Alex grins. "You guys look so cute. Did you plan your outfits?"

"Yes we did," Daniel says enthusiastically.

"How do you know each other?" Dad asks. I look at Colton again and his face his blank, but his eyes are slightly angry.

Maybe he does care about me.

"We met last night," I tell Dad. "Do you mind if he tags along?"

"Not at all," Dad says.

Daniel grins. "Cool."

We start walking to the end of the pier. "He looks jealous," Daniel tells me quietly.

"I know."

Daniel bumps his arm into mine. "Good work, sis."

"Thanks for helping me," I tell Daniel. "I know this seems strange."

"No worries. I probably seem creepy," he says. "I'm just bored though. And this is entertaining."

"I get it," I say.

"What's your end goal?" Daniel asks. He gestures in front of us towards Colton. "With him?"

"I don't know," I admit. "To be with him, maybe. I don't know why it's so hard."

"Solid," Daniel says as he nods. He looks at me. "Look, I know this is a no-strings-attached typa thing. So, if you get with him, don't worry about calling me or anything like that."

I smile. "Thank you."

His phone buzzes and he looks at it. "I gotta bounce soon."

"That's cool. You working?" I ask.

"Not exactly."

Colton looks back at us and my eyes meet his. He looks away quickly. "Well, at least he looked at me. Shit went so bad this morning, Daniel," I say.

"I think he likes you," Daniel tells me. "But he's putting off some weird vibes."

"Thanks."

We get to the end of the pier. Daniel swears when his phone rings. "Fuck. I gotta bounce but text me how our plan goes."

I grin as he hugs me. "I will."

Daniel walks away and I walk over to where Alex and Colton are.

Alex grins. "Your Dad is in the bathroom. You guys have to go and buy him a gift. Together."

I look at Colton. He crosses his arms over his chest and says, "Do I have to go with her?"

"Yes. Don't be such a dick," she says.

My face burns because it seems like the last thing Colton wants to do is be alone with me. I really hope this ends well.