I can't say anything. It's like I'm frozen and every single word has slipped out of my mind as I'm staring at Colton. He's staring back at me and his forest green eyes are prettier than I remembered.

I'm staring at him, waiting for him to say something. But he doesn't. Colton looks at me and then walks down the hallway without saying a single fucking word. And I'm left in the kitchen with my mouth hanging open.

"Hey," I say finally. He stops walking, but his back is still to me. "I...you...fuck!"

He turns around. "Did you have something to say?"

I stare at him. "Don't you?" I ask. "Like maybe hello?"

"I didn't know you were coming," Colton tells me. "I wouldn't have come if I had known."

It feels like someone slapped me and my face is burning. "You're not fucking serious, are you?" I ask him. His eyes and body language are cold. "You can't mean that."

"Please don't talk to me," he says.

"I...you," I stutter, trying to figure out what to say. I never fucking expected this. "I understand why you wouldn't answer my calls, but I don't understand how the fuck you were able to leave. Or how you're able to act this fucking cold and heartless."

"I don't want this to be more awkward than it has to be," Colton says. "I won't talk to you and you won't talk to me."

"We have a lot to talk about—" I start, but he's already closing the door.

It takes me a few minutes to process what just happened. And I'm stuck standing with mouth open looking like an idiot, which I am for assuming that things would be okay when I saw him

He's distant. Colton is fucking distant and cold and I feel like it's so much worse than what I thought.

Colton doesn't want to be with me.

And it hurts so much but I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. He left, he didn't answer my calls, he changed his number, he did the same thing to Rachel...the list goes on and now this. Colton doesn't want to be around me and it's like everything that happened between us never even happened at all.

I shake my head as I turn around and walk back out to the pool. I pick up my book and try reading again, but I'm too distracted. I keep replaying how cold he was acting. He walked away without saying anything, and when I talked to him he barely said anything. How did Colton go from kissing me to asking me not to talk to him?

If Colton is actually serious about everything he just said, it means that we're fucking over. We're done.

"Fuck!" I mutter.

The door opens and I sit up. Alex smiles at me. "We're going on a hike," she tells me.

"Oh." I bite my lip. "Is Colton going with?"

"He better be," Alex says, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's been such a moody brat lately. Sorry for his attitude."

I smile. "Okay."

Maybe he's just in a bad mood and it's not me. Colton can get super moody. I feel butterflies in my stomach as I go back into my room to change. Colton and I might still have a chance. Maybe it's not over completely.

I open the door to my room and Colton spins around without a shirt on. "What the fuck are you doing in here?" he says.

I blink and take a second too long staring at his chest. My eyes flick back up to his. "What the fuck are you doing in my room?" I ask.

He frowns. "This is my room."

"No, it's not," I tell Colton. I point to my suitcase. "Is the bright pink suitcase yours?"

He points to a black suitcase. "Is that yours?"

I frown. "You put your shit in here after I did."

"My suitcase was here first," Colton says.

"When did you get here?"

"Last night," Colton tells me.

I frown. "Did you know I was coming?"

"I already told you," he says. "If I knew you were coming, I wouldn't have."

I shake my head. "What the actual fuck is your problem?" I ask him. "I've done absolutely nothing for you to act like this."

Colton doesn't say anything for a minute. But then he looks at me and says, "Did you know I was coming?"

"Do you even care?" I ask. He shrugs and I'm not even sure why I'm giving him an answer. "No. I didn't know for sure if you were coming. But I came because I was hoping you would be here."

"Why?" Colton asks, his green eyes burning into mine. "Why did you come for me?"

"Are you really that blind?" I ask Colton, almost desperately. "You're a ghost. You vanished and then you never returned my calls. And then your phone number stopped working and Alex didn't know exactly where you were. I had no fucking idea where you were, so I hoped blindly that you would be here."

Colton stares at me for a second that feels more like a day. But he grabs a shirt and walks past me without saying anything. I blink and I feel my heart pounding. I shouldn't have said anything.

Fuck.

****************************

Colton has barely said two words to me. He didn't talk to me in the car and now we're in the middle of the hike. Colton's walking next to me but not saying anything. I'm just surprised he's not walking faster.

"Do you want any water?" I ask as I wipe my mouth. I just finished taking a long drink.

Colton turns his head to look at me, but he's wearing sunglasses so I can't see his eyes. Sure," he says. "Thank you."

I hand it to him and he chugs most of it. I sigh. "Are you going to say anything?" I ask. "Or are we going to keep walking in fucking silence?"

He hands the water bottle back to me. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Anything. Say anything," I tell him, and I hate how I'm sounding desperate again.

Colton sighs and pushes his sunglasses up. "How's Majeste doing?"

"He's good. He woke up, and he's recovering well. Bobbe's relieved," I tell Colton. And it's sweet that he asked.

"And Tasha?"

"She's doing good too." I sigh as I take a drink of the water. "I've been staying with them."

"Why's that?" Colton asks, keeping his gaze straight.

"Um...I don't live with Bryce anymore. We broke up," I say, biting my lip. "I've been looking for a new place to stay."

"Why did you break up?" Colton's still looking forward.

I sigh and stop walking. Colton stops walking too. I take Colton's sunglasses quickly so I can see his eyes. Colton frowns and his eyebrows are furrowed.

"Bryce found the letter, Colton," I say. "Your fucking letter."

"Why did you keep it?" Colton asks. "No one said you had to."

"Why did you write it?" I ask. "Why the fuck did you write it if all of it was shit? If you didn't mean any of it?"

Colton's frown deepens. "Who said that?"

"You did!" I say desperately. "You did when you fucking left and never called back. And you did today when you won't even fucking talk to me or look at me. You said that, Colton, when you act like you hate me."

"The letter said goodbye," Colton says slowly.

"Obviously it wasn't," I say, as I tug on my hair. "Did I do something? I must have because how the fuck could you say goodbye? And act like we're never going to see each other again?"

He shakes his head and looks away. "Did you even fucking read it?" he asks. "Do you know how fucking destroying it was to write that?"

My hands are shaking and my emotions are so scattered that I can barely talk. "I read it so many times that the corners were starting to rip," I tell Colton. "And it destroyed me too."

"I should have just left," Colton mutters.

He's looking away again, but his eyes jump to mine when I place my hands on his chest and shove him. "Why did you leave?" I ask him and my voice breaks. "Why the fuck did you even leave me? How could you?"

"I left because I had to," Colton tells me. He grabs his sunglasses and starts walking quickly.

"Colton." I start walking and trying to catch up with him. "You can't keep doing this to me."

"Doing what, Andy?" he asks.

"Fucking leaving and breaking my heart. And then acting cold and distant and like you fucking hate me," I say.

"I don't hate you," Colton says.

"Really?" I ask. I tug on my hair again. "Just tell me one thing. Tell me why we can't be together."

Colton looks at me. "You don't need to know why."

"Are you joking? That's a terrible answer," I tell Colton. "It's an easy question."

He sighs. "We...we don't work together."

I know I shouldn't say this, but nothing is getting through to him. "Is that what you said to Rachel?" I ask, and Colton stops walking. "She told me what happened. She told me how you did the exact same fucking thing to her. You got moody and distant and then left. And you did exactly the same thing to me."

"I'm done talking," Colton says coldly.

"How many other girls are there, Colton?" I ask. "How many other girls have you done this to? Am I even special?"

"Don't go there, Andy," Colton mutters.

I shake my head. "It must be me. There must be something about me because you fucking cheated in high school. And Bryce was fucking someone else—"

"Bryce cheated?" Colton cuts me off.

"Yes, he cheated," I say. "So, what is it about me? Am I not good enough or something?"

Colton's eyes search mine. "I never said that."

"You never said a lot of things. I had to fill in the blanks."

"You filled them in wrong," Colton tells me.

I shrug. "Fucking enlighten me then. Fill them in."

"I...it's better if I don't say anything," Colton says.

"For who?" I ask, sounding desperate again. "I've been killing myself trying to figure out why you don't want me. Or why you left, or why the same fucking thing keeps happening over and over and over again."

"It's nothing you did," Colton tells me. "I meant everything I said in the letter. And I don't hate you and you never did anything wrong. You did everything right."

"Then what went wrong?" I ask, searching his eyes.

"I can't tell you that," he says. "I—"

He's cut off by Alex yelling, "Come on, you slowpokes! The last one to the car has to make dinner!"

I didn't realize how far ahead of us Alex and my dad are. I've been so caught up in Colton. I sigh as Colton and I pick up the pace to try and catch up with them.

"What were you saying?" I ask Colton.

He shrugs as he slips his sunglasses back on. "It doesn't matter."

"Please don't say that shit again," I say.

Colton sighs and after a minute, he looks at me and says, "I'm going to leave on Tuesday. And that truly will be my final goodbye."