TW(?) drugs

There was a full day of driving, they were now only three days into their fourteen day roulette. Evan was sitting in his bunk for the first time in a while, processing everything that was going on. He was in America, away from everyone he really knew, looking for someone who was more than likely long gone.

Jonathan and Brock had been taking turns driving for the day, bonding up at the front and Tyler was just as confused as Evan. He sat next to him in his separate bunk, taking a few breaths in and out.

Tyler was definitely the most miserable out of all of them. "Hey Ty, we just finished lunch, so you want any?" Simone asked, flipping his curtain to look at him. He jumped, hiding his phone and she gave him a skeptical look. "What're you doing?" She asked, reaching for his phone in a playful manner. He felt his body freeze as he ripped his phone away, throwing it behind him. "Nothing, go away! I don't want anything to eat, I'm not hungry!" He explained, clearly nervous. On his phone was all the memories and videos of he and Evan. To say the least he was starting to accept that he was so in love with Evan it was driving him crazy.

"Oi, Simone, come eat." Brian called, looking past her to Tyler. Tyler mouthed "thank you as he shut his curtains, Simone turning with a defeated look. They sat quietly, David, Brian, Marcel and Simone. "He hasn't eaten since two days ago, when we went to the store." Marcel mustered, looking at everyone. They were all thinking the exact same thing. "Well, do we know what could be under his skin? He's been such a snappy guy lately..." David added, scratching his facial hair. "He just needs space and time you guys, he's not used to constantly being around people 24/7." Brian said with a small undertone of understanding. "Let's just drop it, he'll be okay," Brian added to his last statement, turning to see Evan climbing from his bed.

"Well good morning, princess." Brock laughed from the front as Jon turned. His face brightened and a small smile formed across his lips. He was quick to mask it though, turning back to the road. "Ah, sorry guys was I really asleep for that long?" He let out a half assed laugh, sitting next to David. "So what's goin' on?" He asked, taking his fair share of lunch. "Well we're basically almost there, just a few more hours- maybe we'll get there by tonight if we don't stop... just to Luke and mine's hideout though, which is another day's trip away from our house." Jonathan called out from the front.

"Oh shit, already? That's amazing!" Evan said, mouthful of turkey sandwich. "Evan, ever heard of chewing?!" Marcel said with disgust, hiding his eyes from under his hands. Evan had basically scarfed his ENTIRE sandwich in seconds. "Sorry, I'm hungry," Evan laughed, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his pajama shirt. He was in a black long sleeved shirt with checkered black and red pants. "Well, I was thinking maybe I could take you guys to Mine and Luke's secret hideout?" Jonathan asked, his voice quieting as Evan marched up to the front. "Oh?" Brock asked, standing and moving back so Evan could take the seat in the passenger spot.

"Yeah, it's just about a half an hour drive away from the town." Jonathan said, redirecting the GPS to a woods area. "We'll start there." Evan smiled, taking his pen and paper from the glove department. "Awesome," Brock said, looking at the maps as he sat in the steps that lead up to the drivers seats.

Jonathan was quick and a good driver, on dirt and road. "Jonathan! Where did you learn to drive?" Evan asked to break the quiet between everyone.

"Well, like I've mentioned before Luke and I raised each other. My mom was kind of in and out of the picture due to Dad's business trips, and Luke's parents were so sweet... but they were in and out of it too, business trips and such." Jonathan sighed, gripping the wheel and leaning back into his seat. "We learned to drive together. We started off in empty parking lots, reading the handbook in panic when we would accidentally turn onto the highway. Lots of trial and- more than I could remember errors. We mainly started on dirt roads though," Jonathan chuckled, looking at Evan.

Evan knew there was just something that he couldn't describe between his stories and Luke.

Tyler watched the two from the opposite side of the van, keeping silent and just welting in his own sadness. "Aye, Tyler!" Evan smiled awkwardly, turning to him. "Hey, ev." He said quietly, walking over and sitting between the three of them. "What's up?" Evan smiled happily. "I-ah... I'm just tired." Tyler admitted, feeling Evan place his hand onto his shoulder.

Tyler's eyes widened, looking at him with a flushed face. "We should go get some fancy food tonight, I'm feeling sea food," Brock said, looking at Jon.

"Sure, it's not like it's my money anyways." He laughed. Everyone knew he was using his dad's card but why- doesn't he have his own money?

"Ah, you and that money, Jon..." Marcel sighed, scratching his neck nervously. "It's whatever, even if I do get in trouble it's barely gonna make a dent into what we have saved." He chuckled. "I agree, we need to let the RV air out, it's gross- smells like boys." Simone laughed. They all did agree though, it smelt like men's cologne, weed, and a hint of some BO. Everyone showered well, wore deodorant, etc but they were nonetheless teenagers.

"You know, you're right." David smiled.

Evan looked at his phone, clicking on to check the time. It was already nearing late 5pm, they had been driving for what felt like forever. They arrived to a sea food buffet.

"Alright I'll go see if they accept walk ins, you guys get out and stretch, I'll come get you once and if I payed." Jonathan put simply, placing his black boots around his ankles and feet, walking inside. Everyone piled out of the RV, one by one, quietly stretching.

Tyler subconsciously stood and grouped with Evan, feeling the need to hover over him. Once Jonathan made his way out, telling everyone they were good to go in, Evan wrapped his arm around Jonathan's shoulder, allowing Jon to escort him inside. "They had bonded so incredibly much in the six days they've known each other- how?!"

Tyler said to himself, trailing behind the group and going to the table, setting his wallet out and emptying his pockets.

Brian met up with him, slowing down so he could match his pace.

Inside of the restaurant, it was beautiful. The ground was a white and black tile checker pattern with multiple rows and isles of cooked food, waiting to be placed onto plates. Evan took a liking to the breaded fish and sushi, Jonathan the more pricey stuff, like fish eggs.

David was more interested in the fried goods, wontons and such. Simone and Marcel, the fish dishes, and Brock towards the soups. Brian knew what he wanted from the rip, crab legs and Tyler went with a plate full of noodles and shrimp.

They went to their large table, seating themselves together. Tyler sat across from Evan, looking at Brian. Brian had known about their altercation and was just trying to help Tyler confront his confusing feelings.

Tyler had always had issues with confronting himself, not others though. He was just naturally born that way. Jealousy was something he always had but just chose to bury it in his body, always ignoring it, same with any other confrontational emotion such as sadness, guilt or love. And he was overflowing with all of it, all to the point it was slipping through his walls and crevices and pouring for everyone to see...

Tyler kept focused on his plate while Evan clung to Jonathan. "Evan!" Jonathan laughed when even shoved a sushi roll slice into his mouth. They were giggling and laughing- like a happy couple.

Tyler was full of so much confusion and rage...
He began to tap the table with his finger tips out of anger, staring down the whole time. Everyone around him was laughing. He drowned it out, tapping harder and faster. Brian took a noticing to it, resting his hand onto his shoulder. "Tyler, are you okay?" He asked. And that was his breaking point. He slammed his fist against the table, the clinging of porcelain plates, steel utensils and glass cups clashing together. Evan jumped, Jonathan immediately grabbing his shoulder to try and protect him. Everyone let out a small gasp as the restaurant went quiet. There was soft whispers from the tables around them before the chatter began to pick up again. Tyler pointed at Evan, about to yell but then took a deep breath in and left the restaurant. He walked back to the RV and left everyone alone while they finished dinner.

"Man, what is his problem?" Brock asked softly, continuing to eat away. "I... think he may be upset with Evan," David said. Evan looked around to see everyone glancing at him. "Yeah, I think you're right..." Simone said, seeing as Evan paused.

"Upset? Pff, why?!" He said nervously, gripping his fork in his right hand. "Jonathan and You." Brock said, waving his spoon in their direction.

Jonathan's face immediately turned a light shade of pink, Evan's slightly darker. "W-What? Hah..." Evan said, pressing his left hand against the back of his neck. "It's not like we're together or anything." He said, avoiding eye contact with Jonathan. Jonathan nervously agreed, now facing his body away from the other. Their thighs touched underneath the table and they were clearly flustered.

"Ev, once we leave, go talk to Tyler, I miss his old self..." Marcel sighed, rubbing his temples. "Hate to say it, but I do miss how he used to act."

Evan felt their eyes peel away from Jon and him. "You're right, I think I'll go talk to him now..."

Evan stood, placing his plate at the end of the table, telling Jonathan that he would pay him back.

Tyler was in the RV, cuddled up on the dinning room bench. He had a blunt lit, hanging off his lip as he scrolled on his phone. He inhaled, holding the smoke for a moment, and then exhaled. "Hey, Ty," Evan said, opening the door cautiously.

Tyler's eyes were already a slight red color, sluggish and slow. "What?" He asked, placing it into the pink ash tray Simone bought. "I think I need some of that," Evan simply said, reaching over him and placing the brown wrapped paper between his fingers, pulling out his red lighter with a white owl printed on the front, lighting it and smoking.

"Just tell me what's goin' on man," Evan finally said after a few minutes of them switching the blunt back and forth. "Fuck, Evan now? I'm too high, dude." Tyler laughed. "Hah, sorry, I just thought it might loosen you up since we're gonna get all mushy." Evan explained, his words hesitant.

"Man, Evan why do you like Jonathan?" He asked with a sigh. "I don't really... know. He's just everything I've looked for in someone- r... romantically? I think?" Evan said, looking to his right and watching Tyler look down. "It's just like... why not me?" Tyler finally said it. His feelings were laid out. Sure he was high and would let a lot slide, but it was definitely better than nothing.

"Tyler, you are my friend- my best friend. Jonathan is just a diff-"

"Different type of friend? I know. But that's what I mean." Tyler cut him off, turning on his side and staring at the other. "Well, whaddya mean?" Evan asked softer than normal.

"Evan, god damnit, you oblivious asshole, I am in love with you!" Tyler spilled out of frustration, pushing his palms over his eyes. "Fuuuuck." He groaned out. Evan took a second to process what was said before nodding.

"I'm sorry Tyler, I didn't know you felt that way." He said, placing his hand onto Tyler's shoulder. "Yeah, I get it. I'm just jealous of you both, like- why can't I be happy?! Why can't I finally find someone like you- or have you?"

"I just don't feel that way about you, Tyler. I've never thought of us like that."

"I know, but like... I wish you did." He said, choking up on his words.

Evan pulled his windbreaker over his torso, nodding. "I just... there's something about Jonathan I don't really get, he's nothing like I've ever known- I think I like him."

Tyler sat up, heartbroken from the rejection... "I just don't understand- why don't you like me in that way?"

Evan paused, not even finding the right words he was searching for. "I'm not sure... I guess we just grew up together and I have always thought of you as a sibling to me."

Tyler nodded, shaking his head. Every time that Evan had grabbed his hand to guide him away from awkward social situations, through gas stations... The late night drives they'd take just to talk about anything and everything was meant in a way Tyler didn't think about. A friend way. All the times they'd go to hockey practice and be the leaders of the team, showering next to each other (in separate stalls- duh) after games or practice. All the holidays they spent together. 

Tyler remembered when they had went to climb Evan's backyard tree and he ended up falling out. Evan was the person to carry him inside and even bandage him up. None of it was in a romantic way? 

Tyler was hurt, but nonetheless Evan was his best friend. He sat in a puddle of confused intoxication. 

"I want you to know Tyler I don't think of you any differently..." Evan said, explaining how it really didn't change what he thought of him. "You're still my friend, right?" Tyler asked. Evan didn't even hesitate to answer. "Yes. You're my best friend, Tyler." He said. It was heartfelt and you could just tell that he meant every word that left his lips. 

"Listen, I'm hurt... and I might space myself more but, I'm glad you guys have a little thing going on. He treats you better than I could, that's for sure..." Tyler laughed. "No, but seriously, I'm here to listen and I will be your guy's biggest cheerleader- or whatever the football ladies are called." He said, pressing his finger to his lips out of confusion.

"Yeah, cheerleaders." Evan chuckled. "Better, Ty?" He asked. Tyler sadly nodded. "Much better, just don't tell anyone that I'm like... a ...um... gay." Tyler said, covering his mouth. "I never thought I'd say that..."

"Tch, secret is safe with me."

"Brian knows too... but Evan?"

"Yeah, Tyler?"

"I will never not love you..."

"I know, Tyler."

And so there Tyler sat, falling more and more in love with Evan as he stood walking away, waving goodbye to him. Evan took a step out, throwing his lighter for the other and he closed the door to go with the others. 

• • • • • • • • • • • •

After the rest of the group had been stuffed full of food and on the road, the sky rolled to night time. It was dark, much darker than usual. "Alright guys, we're here." Jonathan said, parking the RV. Tyler was a little buzzed from earlier, hiding in a pile of blankets on the bench. Evan sat next to Jonathan and the rest were asleep in their bunks.

Evan sat up, rubbing his eyes with a yawn. His high wire off quickly so he was good to go. He went through the van, attempting to wake everyone up, yet the only one who woke up was Brock and Brian.

Tyler said he was still not good to get up and move around so he stuck in the van.

Evan and Jonathan put on their coats, lacing up their shoes next.

"Come on shithead, move out of the way." Brian huffed, kicking Brock's foot from the way of the door. "Hold on, let me go out first." Jon said, walking out of the van with a flashlight. "Thank god you're smarter than us, Brock." Brian laughed, switching his on. They all had one ready to go, fully charged with batteries.

Evan clung to Jonathan, stepping out with the other. Brock and Brian trailed behind. It was quiet, but a peaceful quiet. "Okay, me and Evan are gonna go this way, Brock, Brian, you guys go to the right." Jonathan explained. "There's a creek down there, so please be careful." He chuckled. "It's not deep, but I'd rather not track shit water in the RV."

Brian nodded, taking the lead for Brock, both their flashlights lighting the dirt beneath their feet.

The grasshoppers were making a slight chirping noise in the distant, humming from the water filled the empty void of sounds. There was tall grass that surrounded them, but it was a junkyard... who knew.

Evan and Jonathan went off to the left, almost completely quiet the whole time. "Luke and I spent so... so much time here." Jonathan said after they had been traveling for a bit. "Look for a shed- it's concrete. However after all this time god knows what this place looks like now." He sighed. "Maybe this is a bad idea, it's so dark..." Evan said gently, looking up at the trees that covered the way of the moon light. "No no, over here."

Jonathan took a step down, walking down the steep hill with Evan close behind. Jonathan turned quickly, covering Evan's eyes. "Oh fuck, Evan you're gonna love this..."

Evan was hesitant to trust Jonathan, but he did. "Alright, keep your eyes closed." Jonathan said with a smirk, leading Him through grass.

A few moments of walking and then Jonathan spoke again. "Alright, open." He said. Immediately, Evan felt breathless. There were fireflies lighting a huge field of flowers, overgrown weeds and a large almost civilized looking spot. It was clearly abandoned, everything growing high above their waists, except for the grass which was yellowing. "Holy shit, Jonathan..." Evan laughed, looking around. There were fair bulb lights hung by clotheslines, a faded blue pickup truck to their left and a wall of rock and junk to their right. "Jonathan, this is beautiful," he said breathlessly. "I know! I totally forgot how well we made this look." He said with a proud sigh of relief. There were some rugs and tapestries the were on the clotheslined too to close them in. Nothing was on of course, but the moon light that was cleared from the trees lit the way. There was a fire pit in the middle with two lawn chairs dude by side, overlooking the rest of the field.

"Evan? Thank you." Jonathan said.

Evan was so fixated on the scenery, he completely forgot what they were there to do. And once Jon let out a small sniffle, Evan looked back to see him, eyes flooded with tears. The "cool guy" of the group was an emotional wreck.

Jonathan's heart was beating so fast and for once he felt like everything was clear. Everything happens for a reason, right? He was completely taken away by Evan's beauty. Evan stood proudly, standing straight and turned back to him. His light, olive skin was nearly glowing. His brown eyes were dark in this lighting, but we're clearly looking at Jon. For once in his life, he felt looked at, not looked through.

"Evan, you're so... beautiful." Jonathan said softly. Sure Evan was oblivious, but he knew what was going to happen.

Evan turned more to the other, getting real close to him. "Jonathan..."

"Sh." Jonathan said softly. The dirt beneath them was loose and soft. Unlike the rest of the place.

"Evan, I have been seeing in black in white for the last six months- even before I met Luke." He said softly, taking one hand and pressing it against Evan's shoulder, pulling him close. "And right now, it's colorful." He mentioned.

Jonathan had a tired look, but relieved and genuinely happy. He leaned closer, feeling Evan's light breath blow on his own skin. "Jonathan, I haven't felt so connected to someone ever, you're just different." Evan added, standing up on his toes slightly. The back of his heels raised to meet Jon's height.

"I know we don't know each other the best we could, but I promise you, this is truly something I've never felt." He whispered gently.

Over the past few nights, they had been falling asleep in the same chairs, nearly hand in hand and this was something completely new. Jonathan's hand drifted down, holding the small of the others back. They stared into each other's eyes for a bit. It was glittery, ethereal even.

Just as they had gotten comfortable, Evan immediately realized that they were getting too comfortable too quick. He pulled himself off and smiled up at the other. "You're welcome, Jon." He finally added. "Seriously, thank you for doing this with me." Jonathan smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. He was avoiding eye contact, looking away from the other.

"Hey! Guys!" Brian called from behind them. "We found something!" Brock said, finally catching up with Brian.

"What?! Seriously?!" Evan gasped, taking out his pen and notepad, running past Jonathan.
"Yeah! We found some pictures in the creek, maybe some of Luke's stuff too!"

"Oh shit, really?!" Jonathan immediately ran over to where they had came from. "Fuck..." he showered, immediately running into the water. It was freezing, covering his shoes in murky water, mud and grass. He was in tears as he ripped a piece of cloth out from the bottom, looking at it. He turned back, face full of tears within seconds as they shined their flashlights at him. "This is Luke's hoodie, guys."

Evan was taken away, staring at the dark maroon hoodie that was soaked in mud, water and god knows what else. "No way."

"I- I need to take this," he said shakily, searching the pockets after a moment of just... staring.

He pulled out a baggie that was full of water and torn, shredded at the bottom like an animal had gotten ahold of it, in the other was one of Luke's switch blades. "Wow, that's beautiful," Brock said lightly. It was black with a red tint to it. "We stole this a few days before he disappeared and I moved." Jon said, placing the already rusted knife into his Jean pocket. Next was a letter stuffed into the pocket. He could only read the top that wrote "Dear Luke, I ha..." and the rest was smeared and history.

"We should head back, we're diving too deep, what if we mess up some evidence without realizing it?" Evan asked. Jonathan was speechless, the water soaking his socks, shoes and even the ends of his jeans. "You're absolutely right." They had all agreed, walking back to the RV.

They sat in silence as Jonathan pulled the RV out of the woods, driving slowly to a nearby park. "Let's sleep," he only said, turning off the lights in the RV with one switch of a light from the front. "Yeah,"

It was early morning when they were all up, Luke's hoodie had been draped over the shower bars to drip whatever nastiness was intertwined with the threads.

Jonathan was talking to Marcel and David at the dinning table while Brock and Brian cooked breakfast. "Hn... good morning, guys." Evan called out from the front. They turned their heads to him with an equally as tired greeting.

"Where's Simone and Ty?" He asked, stretching his arms, then legs and lastly his back. "We'll, simone's showering and Tyler is outside." Marcel said, reading an article on his phone. "Huh."

"We'll, what's the move today, boy genius?" David asked Evan. Evan glanced up, already pouring himself coffee. "Oh- um... well, I was thinking we could stop by Luke's house- and Jonathan's?" He said, waiting from approval from Jon.

It was all happening so fast to Jon. New friends, a boy who he adored but couldn't bring himself to love in that way yet, a jealous pig and all the clues from his best friend. He always thought he would leave something behind but he had a creeping suspicion that it wasn't Luke who left him that to find. Out of all things, it just had to be that?

"I... that's fine." Jonathan said, staring down at the wooden table. "You okay, Jon?" Evan asked, sitting next to Marcel, horizontal from Jonathan and David. Jon didn't say a word before breaking his concentration. "Yeah! I'm fine." He said, playing it off with an almost too good to be grin.

- A.D