Yesterday, Chance did not show up, the same for the next day. So instead of bellowing over the boy who he thought added to his pain, he visited London's grave. He sat there for hours just talking to London, telling him about everything that happened with Chance and everything else.

Blue's heart ached bitterly from longing to see chance again. Hell, he needed to see him. His mind was so fussed over Chance and the kiss they shared. Guilt arouse within him when he realized that he basically abandoned his brother for a boy he met only two weeks ago.

His mother walked into the living room where he sat and laid her hand on his shoulder. She examined the clothes that he had on, the corner of her lips tugging downwards at the sight. A white vest clung to his body which almost looked painful to his mother, alongside a basketball shorts that touched the top of his knees. The air was chilly but he didn't seem to care. His started to mimic his mother's first dressing after London's death; depressing clothes. Clothes that showed that he no longer cared about life.

"He never came?" His mother asked as she tilted her head and rubbed circles on his shoulder.

Blue glanced at her for a split second before turning his attention back to the television and shook his head. A sigh escaped her lips at that. "Well, I'm off to work. See you tonight." She kissed his forehead and walked over to the front door. "I love you," she said as she opened and shut the door behind her.

Blue mumbled an 'I love you too' back and shut his eyes with a heavy sigh. He laid his head against the couch and swallowed the lump in his throat.

His chest tightened as his heart hammered against it. He usually described the agony build within his chest as a sad piano instrumental. The beginning would always begin soft, catching everyone's gawking attention. The walls within him would hide the screams of the violin until they break free in shouts of anguish. That was the part that always drove them away.

He fought back the urge to cry as memories containing scenes with him and Chance along with others containing him and London, replayed over and over again in his head.

He groaned loudly and brought his hand up, gripping strands of hair as he tugged on them harshly. His skull felt tight from the pressure.

He scrunched up his nose and clenched his teeth, his toes curled in his socks and his opposite hand gripped the couch, his knuckles turning white. "I hate this," he mumbled to himself.

He reopened his eyes and let go of his hair, his body slowly relaxing. Another round of sighs escaped through his nostrils as he laid his hands on his thighs, slapping them before getting up.

Just like every other empty nights, he left the house and walked groggily to the cemetery. When he arrived there, he immediately dropped himself against the ground and grabbed hold of London's tombstone. "Hey, Patrick."

Blue chuckled at the nickname London gave himself. "I guess you really are Patrick because you lives under a rock." He chuckled humorlessly at his dark comment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

With a sigh, he continued, "Chance still hasn't returned. Do you think that kiss scared him off?" His heart skipped a painful beat. "Do you know what promise he was talking about? Did you guys make a promise? He refuses to tell me and now I'm scared and... maybe a little hurt."

Blue's eyes scanned the words on the tombstone. "I need you to come back, London. I can't take this anymore. It's like everyone is trying to hurt me and none of them failed in doing so. What am I supposed to do?" A tear slipped from his eyes followed by many others. "Did I do this to myself? Was I too open? Too vulnerable? Why does it hurt so badly? Why did I let you leave me so easily?"

Blue began to choke on his tears as his voice grew louder with each word. "Dammit, London! Why did you leave me here?! Why won't you answer me?!" Blue clenched his fists and began palpitating the stone, ignoring the sharp pain that coated his hands.

He was screaming and bawling. Anyone who heard him would be scared because they would not think that he was there.

Blue soon grew tired and he gasped for air, violently wiping his tears, smearing his blood over his eyes and cheeks. "Fuck," he murmured. He then lost his strength and allowed his body to go limp against the grass. As if on cue, the rain began to fall lightly. Instead of seeking for shelter, he laid on his back, sprawled out on the ground. His eyes were glued to the ebony sky.

Blue clenched his teeth, then let out an ear-piercing scream. He sobbed uncontrollably and din't care if anyone heard him. He wanted to die right there and then, but nothing and no-one was coming to take him away from this earth.

Shutting his eyes, Blue spoke for the last time that night. "I really fucking miss you, London. Please...just come back."