hey guys! here is a new one shot requested by C_ROCKER31 ! thanks so much for the request and all the love and support for my stories.:)

since her idea is kind of a two part story idea  I decided to split it into two parts.:)Anyways, here is part 1 and I hope you guys like part 2.:)

Hannah pov

-"Some of you cared, none of you cared enough.And neither did I..and I am sorry."

I walked into my house and I walked into my bedroom and changed into old comfy clothes.I sighed to myself as I wished this wasn't the end.That someone would come after me and save me from my demons and myself. I layed down on the bed and stared at the ceiling above me.I felt stings in my wrist and wanted to not feel any pain anymore.Clay is the only person tethering me back to the real world, but I knew I wasn't ever going to be good enough for him.I was going to ruin him and I don't deserve a great guy like him. He deserves a girl who isn't broken, someone is whole and more perfect.I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water in the bathtub.I walked over to the mirror and took out the box of razor blades.I opened the box and took a razor blade out and looked at it. I held it in between my thumbs as I pictured this little tool slicing away the pain that covers me everyday.I looked in the mirror and sighed as I felt tears forming in my eyes. I got in the tub and felt the weight from the warm water being pressed on me.I sat in the tub and I felt tears forming in my eyes.I held the blade in my other hand as I looked over at my other arm. I breathed in and I leaned forward and I took the blade closer to my arm.I took the blade closer and started to make a cut on my pale, scarred skin when I heard a noise outside the bathroom door.A smile glimmer of hope came once agian, hoping that someone in this universe cares about me.I looked over and I ignored the noise and started to make a bigger cut and blood started to ooze down my arm.I felt tears falling down my cheeks.I felt the pain go through me as it cuts like paper.But still I feel nothing.I heard Clay's voice coming through the other side of the door."Hannah please don't do this. I am so sorry,I won't leave you agian. I promise, I love you Hannah and will never leave you agian!."" I sighed and I started to the cut the other arm when I heard him opening the door down and he looked over at me with widened eyes and he quickly ran over and took the blade out my hand and throws it away.He looked at my arms and he quickly took of his hoodie and wrapped it around them.He quickly held onto me as I started to feel myself pass out."don't worry you are going to be okay Hannah..everything will be okay."I nodded as I felt my eyes stared to get heavy and I felt myself loosing more blood. "no! Hannah no!" Clay says as he held onto me.I felt myself pass out as Clay held gently onto my hand.I heard Clay's voice on the phone as he held me as I layed in the water trying to figure out if was I was dead or alive.My head felt so dizzy as I felt myself drifting off.Was this what it felt like? what was going on? was I among the living?

Clay pov

The paramedics came after I called and I gently layed Hannah on the stretcher. I looked down at her as I felt tears welled in my eyes. I had no idea that this girl that I have fallen in love with was going through so much pain. I wish I would've known before and would've been there for her when I had the chance.I looked at her as I gently touched hair."I promise things will be different soon Han.things will get better." I held onto her hand gently and then let go as they rode away with her and took her to the hospital. I sighed to myself as I looked down at my hands and saw blood all over them. I looked down at my shirt and saw Hannah's blood there once again.I felt tears forming and I said "come on Hannah, you have to make it.you have too." I whispered to myself.I quickly headed over to the hospital and texted Tony to meet me there.I pedaled on my bike and I ran through the door and saw Mr.and Mrs.Baker turn and they looked towards me.Mrs.Baker then said "Clay..is that..?" I nodded as Mrs.Baker held onto Mr.Baker's hand for comfort.They exchanged looks with one another and Mrs.Baker stepped forward towards me." I really need to thank you Clay.For saving our daughter.Thank you so much." She came closer and she gently brought me into a warm embrace.I hugged her back gently and sighed to myself hoping Hannah would be okay.We pulled away and I said "I really care for your daughter Mrs.Baker..and I am worried that she won't make it.."Mr.Baker stepped closer and said "we have to hope for the best.I have a feeling she will make it.." I nodded my head with a slight smile. Hannah is the strongest person that I know, she has to make it.She will make it through.

I walked closer to the window and looked through and saw Hannah laying in a hospital bed with a machine hooked up to her.I sighed to myself as I knew this was my fault that she was in this building in the first place.If I told her in the first place how I felt, I know she wouldn't be here right now.Maybe I could've saved her..and made sure that she didn't do this to herself.I turned around and I saw Mr.and Mrs.Baker sitting in the chair in the hallway."can..can I go in there..?" I asked with nerves tensing me up.They nodded and said "she just might not here you when you go in there." I nodded as I looked back at the door and grasped on the knob gently. I opened it up and saw the beautiful Hannah Baker laying there with bandages wrapped around her arms. I could hear the echo of the machines beside her as I walked closer. She still looked beautiful even in a hospital gown.I sat down beside her on the empty chair. I looked down at her hand and held it in mine as I gave it a gently squeeze."Hannah..I don't know if you can here me..but this is helmet. I..I really need you to make it and get better." I paused as I looked around the room and back at her."it's all my fault that you are in here Hannah. I should've been there for you to help you through it when everyone else treated you like trash. But instead I was a pathetic coward you is afraid to open up and help a girl he truly loves. I paused as I held onto her hand gently."Hannah I just want you to know that I love you.I have loved you since that first day we met at the Crestmont.And I am so sorry for not telling you this sooner.."  I felt tears falling one agian as I rubbed her hand with my thumb gently.I then looked up at Hannah once agian and said "I am sorry for leaving you at the party,for the comments I have made in the past.I am sorry about everything.." I looked over at Hannah as I sighed at the bandages around her arms.Where now her scars are now hidden away.But now matter how many scars Hannah has I will still love her and think she is beautiful to me.

"Hannah if you can hear me..squeeze my hand.." I waited a moment and I felt a little something in my hand I was holding Hannah's in. I felt a gentle squeeze. I knew it wasn't from my hand by the way it felt. I looked back at Hannah and said "keep on fighting Hannah.If not for yourself..than fight for me.I need you Hannah.I can't lose you.." Hannah is going to be okay...I know she will be I say over and over again in my mind.

what do you think of part 1 of this one shot?

part 2 coming tommorow.:)

commet down below and vote as well:)

shoutout to C_Rocker31

divergentfannfic

procrastination14