Few weeks before final announcement to disband

"Just be quiet!" Seokjin yells making everyone stop bickering. "Doesn't this scare anyone!?" He screams, the veins in his neck popping. He looks terrified, honestly. Everyone looks at their feet and become serious.

"This is honestly really ridiculous, I don't know what we'd do without each other." Seokjin says. "We all have to go our own ways sooner or later, you expect us to just stay signed to Big Hit forever? Jungkook is married for crying out loud, and you know how the community frowns upon young parents. This isn't any easier for him." Taehyung says.

"It's not our fault Jungkook wanted to get married at a young age, okay?" Hoseok says. "Jungkook could get married at what ever age he wants, as long as he's happy, we should be happy for him." Jimin says. "Oh, here goes Jimin, looking after Jungkook like always. He's a grown man, let him answer for himself." Yoongi says.

"Ugh, if I could talk to you with hate I would." Jimin says under his breath. "Oh, I wish you would." Yoongi says. "Stop it!" I yell. Everyone is now looking at me. "Seokjin just asked if we were going to miss the band, and you're turning it something completely different." I say. "Oh, what a surprise. Namjoon standing up for Seokjin, ain't that a ship?" Hoseok spits.

"Why don't we just focus on the reason for the disbanding?" Taehyung interrupted before I can yell at Hoseok. "Oh, pff, easy. Unfairness." Seokjin says. "How!? How is it unfair!?" Jimin yells. "The three of you!" Yoongi points at the Maknae's. Jungkook shakes his head and bites his lip.

"This again?" He asks. "Oh yes, please enlighten us on the reason as to why you think that it's not true.. huh? Enlighten us the 'Golden Maknae'. Please do." Hoseok air quotes. "Army loves all of us equally." Jungkook says, I even start to laugh a bit along with the other hyungs in the group.

Seokjin laughs, "You know damn right that ain't true. It's a straight up lie and you know it." He adds in a rude tone. "How? How is it a lie, huh?" Jimin asks.

"Oh! How about.. we go to V live and check out the views comparison. Why don't we?" Hoseok asks going on the V app in front of everyone. "AH! Ahaha! What a surprise! Look! More views on most of the Maknae's lives than on the Hyungs." The maknaes look at him annoyed.

"Really? Views? Is this what everything is about?" Taehyung asks. "Ah! And comments! Let's check out Seokjin's videos, Eat Jin. Don't you three remember we had to stop that series because there wasn't enough watchers? That shows something, right?" Hoseok fakes a happy face.

"'Jungkook, where's Jungkook?' , 'V?', 'Where are the other members?' What does that say about what Army wants?" Hoseok asks reading a couple of comments off the V live app. It left everyone speechless, realization smacking the Maknae's in the face. Or they were just staying quiet because they're fed up about fighting.

It definitely wasn't the first time any of us have seen these comments. "Honestly, why are we going to try.. why? We're not wanted." Hoseok asks. "The damn twitter wars for crying out loud! They wanted Seokjin and I gone!" Hoseoks face then drops and his eyes water.

"We try, and we try.." he shakes his head and wipes his eyes. "I'm just honestly exhausted, I want to see my family. And just be normal." He adds as he drops to the couch in the dorm. "Anyone would want that.. no? To be normal, fame and this industry is just overwhelming at times. Sometimes we don't even get months of rest, and for what? More hate?" He said what all of us were thinking, though we didn't want to say it. Or even admit it.

He laughs, and it's quite sad to see our ray of literal sun shine cry like this. Soon all of us were settled down on a couch or chair. He throws his head back and wipes his tears, "Wow, haha." His laughter was completely out of place. "I guess that's my answer, so yes. One vote for disbanding." Hoseok says.

Yes, you can see it in his face, he's tired. But who wasn't? "I second that." Yoongi raises his hand, "I can't lie to Army anymore, this depression is intense and I really can't take this any longer. I'm tired." He says, his eyes watering.

I set my hand on his shoulder, but he doesn't look at me. Instead he stares down at his shoes. "For the sake of my wife and my family, I have to say yes as well." Jungkook says. It was completely understandable. "I just want a normal life." He adds. "Well good luck with that, I'm sure fans will be following you around everywhere Kookie." Hoseok butts in, saying Jungkook's international nickname with annoyance.

"I didn't make any rude comments when you said your reason, I'd really appreciate if you didn't do it to me." Jungkook says. Hoseok just sits back in the couch, not even apologizing. It was quiet for a while. I can't even say something, there's already three votes for disbanding. "I'm out." Taehyung says. We all look at him waiting for his reason but that's all he says.

He's been very different lately, for Army, he was the same. That goofy kid everyone loves. But in the dorm or anywhere else, he was very quiet. I had noticed that after lights out, Taehyung would sneak out and come back with bottles of alcohol. I've been meaning to ask him if he's okay, but when ever the other members would, he's tell them that he's fine.

He wouldn't even tell Jimin, which was a huge surprise to us. Being that Taehyung and Jimin are like brothers. We're all like brothers, but, I guess even then, there will still be things that we don't know about each other. It grows quiet. Neither Jimin, Seokjin and I have made a vote. But even then, if we were to vote for the band to stay together, it's not enough votes.

"I guess that's it." Seokjin says. We all look at the paper work in front of us, it's the form to finalize the disbandment. "You're the leader, you should sign first." Seokjin suggests, scooting the paper over to me across the small coffee table that sat in the living room of the dorm.

I grab the pen that sat on top of the paper, wow, we're really doing this. I use my tongue to give my lips moisture, I take a deep breath and lean over, signing the document. I slide it next to me for Min Yoongi to sign, and he doesn't hesitate once before signing it. Neither does Hoseok. I watch everyone sign the document and it's quiet for a long time.

"There were always good things." Jimin says. "That was the past, this is about now." Hoseok says, wow, he's really arguing a lot isn't he? "I'm talking about memories, so what if we're talking about right now. Can't we reminisce?" Jimin asks. "I have to go pack." Hoseok stands up and walks out of the living room.

Everyone is quiet. Very quiet. When did we turn into this? After years of growing up together. I look at Jungkook, fuck, he's a man. Just remembering the little fifteen year old kid. He was so quiet, but God, he had a voice on him. Still does. Seeing him grow up had made me really love him like my own.

Now we don't get to see each other 24/7, or we might not ever see each other again. Who knows? I look over at everyone, remembering a lot of things. Everyone slowly began to get up and head over to their rooms. I just kind of sat there by myself. I stare at the paper that we all signed.

Never again, never would we be on a stage together again, in a meet and greet. On a plane together, on tour, on V live, on Weekly Idol, on anything. My eyebrows knit, maybe this is all a dream and when I wake up everything will be okay. All this nonsense will stop, but even if I were to pinch myself, this would still be true. It is still true.

My eyes start to water, I quickly wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and shake my head. There's a knock at the door of the dorm and I get up. When I open the door it's our manager, I'm about to call the other members when he picks up a hand.

"I'm actually here to only talk to you." He says. I let him in. He walks over and sees the paper. "Ah, I see that it's official." He comments. "Yes, it is." He stares at the paper for a while. "Would you still be interested in going single?" He asks. I stare at him. "Stay with Big Hit?" I ask. He nods and looks up at me.

"I really feel that you have a gift Namjoon, I know that you can go far. That this isn't the end for you." He says. He takes the paper in his hands. "You know, maybe so that it doesn't make you feel so guilty. Min Yoongi is going single, he's working with Guk Yoon. We can get you connections, and all this will expose you more." He explains.

"I have to think about it." I tell him. "Yes, I understand that. That's okay, I expect you to think about it because I feel that this is a huge opportunity for you to really get your lyric and feelings out there to the people who love your music." He's really selling this. Giving me the idea that he's really trying to keep the company going.

Would I be betraying the guys? But Yoongi is going single, but yet, he had always talked about it. What if Yoongi thinks that I'm following him?

"Do keep in mind that since you know English, you have flexibility in America. You can possibly work with all those artists you've wanted to, since you worked with Wale it had really got your name out there." I then start to think about how I've been wanting to work with Drake and all these really great artists.

I really didn't want the band to break up, but if I still have a chance to stay in this industry I'm going to take any opportunities that I can. That doesn't make me selfish, right? That doesn't mean I'm betraying my brothers, does it? They're all going their separate ways and they wouldn't care about what I want to do.

Still, it was something to think about, I believe that talking to Yoongi would be a good idea to see what's his insight on this whole single thing. "Still, I will think of your offer." I smile and bow to him. "Oh, yes. I understand you're going through a lot right now. I won't start you off right away obviously, after the disbanding announcement we can start you off slowly so that there's no controversy." He explains.

"Yes, that sounds much better." I tell him. He smiles and takes the signed papers with him. "Perfect, I think that this will help you be the person you've been dreaming of Namjoon. Not just a leader of a boy band." I try to keep the fake smile on my face and I nod.

"Okay, well. Since we have a faculty meeting, we can discuss all the possibilities." He smiles and stands up. He walks over to the door and I follow him. "We'll keep you posted." He nods. "Thank you." I say and he's out of my sight. I stare out into the hallway for a few seconds before going back inside the dorm.

"You're going single?" I hear behind me, oh great, was anyone even supposed to know? I turn and see Hoseok, great. He's the one whose been picking a fight with everyone lately, I guess it's my turn today. "I didn't tell him yes, I said I'd think about it." I say. "You know they're doing it because BTS is the only big thing they've ever had." Hoseok says.

I stare at him. "So you don't think it's because I have talent, just because they want money." He shrugs. "I'm not saying that, of course you have talent. But think about it, you're up against Yoongi, he's pretty intense." My eyebrows knit. "Who ever said I'd go up against Yoongi? Or that I even want to be?" I ask.

"All I'm saying is that in the end it's about money, not your talent, not your music, and not even about BTS or ARMY." It's hard for me to accept the fact that he's right. "But hey, if you want to pursue that, then go ahead. That's great for you." He nods and walks back into the hallway back to his room.

Today is just filled with all these decisions. What if I don't want to go single, what if in the end I just want to be normal too? Is that so bad? Or am I expected to live on in this intense industry? Am I going to work myself to death? Is it all worth it?

I turn and stop when I see Jungkook sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of ice cream. He picks up his head and looks at me, "Do it." He says. I'm taken by surprise. I don't know how long he has been sitting there, or how much he's heard, maybe all of it.

"All these decisions you have in your head is just holding you back." He says. I walk up to him and he just looks down at his ice cream. I smile and pat his head, ruffling his hair a bit. "When did you become so grown up?" He asks. He chuckles and shrugs. "We all gotta grow up someday Hyung, and it's not as scary as you think." He says.

"Are you going to miss it?" I ask him, he bites his lip and looks at me. "A lot of things, yes. But life goes on, and it was like the Hyungs said. We couldn't expect to stay with Big Hit forever, it was going to come to an end sooner or later." He explains. I sit in front of him as we sat on the counters.

"So tell me, how did it feel to not fall in love with IU?" I ask. He laughs and shakes his head. "Wow, I haven't thought about her in a long time, shocker right? Just realization I guess, I'm just a fan boy like everyone else. She hadn't even responded to what I think about her, but now I don't think about her that much. Her music is still good, but ideal types change. I honestly couldn't be happier than I am right now." He says, and gosh, I don't know what to think.

"The biggest thing I'll miss is being here with you guys. You all raised me, you are all my family. My brothers." He says and there's a lump of emotion in my throat. "But I wouldn't change a thing." He adds. I nod. He slightly tilts his head and sets the bowl of ice cream down.

"There's this, feeling in my heart.." He pauses. "That I know disbanding is for the best, not only for my family but for us." He continues. "I know opportunities will arise, like they did right now for you. Honestly, don't listen to Hoseok. There will be people who obviously only care about money, but there are great people who don't just think about that."

He scratches the back of his head and looks at me. "It's really just all about your heart, go with your heart and I know that you'll make the right decision." He smiles that bunny like smile. I smile, "And don't ever stop smiling Hyung. Girls love dimples." He says making me laugh. "It'll be hard not having a pain in the ass around like you." I say.

He chuckles. "Just find a girl, have a son, name him Jungkook and you're good." He says making me laugh. It grows quiet for a while. Was there even more to say?

**

I stand in my office, staring at all my cool figures and at the set up I have. Do I really want this all to come to an end? I walk over to my computer. I run my fingers over the wood of the desk and look at the mic next to me. There's a knock on my door, I turn and see Yoongi.

I'm pretty sure that by now all the members know that I got an offer about going single. But Yoongi was actually someone I was going to talk to about all this.

"I heard, it's kind of the talk of the rooms now." He says. I just nod. "How do you feel about it?" He asks. I let out a breath. "I honestly don't even know, Hoseok made it seem like it was all just for BH, and Jungkook told me to go with my heart. I had really wanted to talk to your though." I confess.

"Well, let's see." He closes the door. "What made you want to go single?" I ask him. "Honestly going single had always been a thought in the back of my mind and I've always wanted to write more. Being single can really give me flexibility with what I can do with my lyrics." I nod. "Also, I've been meaning to write songs for other people too." He says.

"You don't feel guilty what so ever?" I ask. "For what? Doing what I want? You know I don't give a shit about what people think, you shouldn't either." He grins that Yoongi grin. "We wouldn't be against each other, right?" I ask. He rolls his eyes, "Don't listen to Hoseok, he's just kind of stupid with what he's thinking right now. Just let all this disbanding go, because now it's about you." He says.

He's right, I need to stop thinking about what others will say. So I have to think like Yoongi, be a savage.

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Thank you for reading, I hope this was a pleasant surprise.

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