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#9. Cogito Ergo Sum

Prompt: Turns out separate planets wasn't far enough.

"We have to separate them?"

"What do you think Indochina would do if they got their hands on them? World domination, that's what."

"A little pessimistic, sir."

"We barely have enough fuel to keep the government going on strict rationing – you want them on our backs for that, too?"

"Indochina knows not to make a move yet. We'd wipe them out."

"And the rest of the world's oil with 'em. It's a stalemate."

"So what do two kids have to do with the fate of the world?"

"Your asking so shows you know nothing. Let me explain."

- - -

Nik didn't know who she was, but he knew she was there.

Castor would be intolerably boring if he didn't have the time to reach out to her, to try to get a response.

Hello? Anyone home?

Sorry, that was kind of patronizing.

And sorry for prying in so much... It's just that I feel like I've done this a lot. It's a habit, I can't stop.

Who are you? I know you're there. I can't see you, but I can feel you. Like shouting down an alleyway at a figure at the end of the street. But you never shout back, not even a whisper.

"Freak show, get a move on."

That was Calicchio, his guard. Guard wasn't really the right word – Nik would wander Castor as much as he wanted if he didn't interfere – so Calicchio was more of a babysitter. Nik could tell he didn't like his job. Calicchio was a soldier, displayed in his impressive physique and arrogant manner, and didn't like to chase after kids all day. He spoke with a harsh Italian accent at times, a slap in the face to standard English that the citizens of Castor had compromised on. Nik didn't speak English as a first language either, but he had caught on remarkably quickly. Calacchio liked to pretend he didn't care.

Castor itself wasn't a bad place to wander, either. Compared to what he had seen of Earth, Castor outstripped it in every category – beautiful natural sights, thriving civilization, abundant resources. Nik knew he must have been on Earth at one point, though, where he had learned Russian, because the only interplanetary language spoken by humans was English, and there were scare few Russians traveling the stars, stuck Earthside in the resource cold war. This Nik had learned from Chessa, a cheery historian with them on Castor who would fill him in for hours about the past. He had many questions, partly because he couldn't remember his own.

The gravity on Castor was lighter than Earth's was, and Nik bounced a little as he walked out of his chamber and into the hallway where Calicchio stood. He had rolled his jumpsuit's sleeves up to the middle of his upper arms and wore a familiar sneer on his face when he saw Nik emerging. Compared to Calicchio, Nik was nothing special – long, dark hair that brushed his shoulders, thoughtful eyes, slim and wiry where Calicchio was tall and strong. Calicchio thought Nik was nothing special. too, but Nik knew he was wrong. Just like he knew the girl was real – couldn't prove it, just knew.

Nik ate with the rest of the Castor crew who he had accompanied on their study mission: lots of scientists, soldiers, and important-looking officials. All were kind, though, perhaps except Calicchio, especially when Nik would ask them about the past, about Earth, though slightly sad.

"It was beautiful," They would say. Always 'was.' Never 'is.'

Calicchio swiped Nik's muffin off of his plate and took a large bite. "So what do you plan to do today, squirt? Sit in your room and stare at the wall? Don't you ever do anything? Why did the crew even bring you here if you're so worthless?"

House arrest... But it's not home.

I've told you about Calicchio, haven't I? He's antagonizing, but I'll find out why eventually. His mind is harder than the others, because he has walls. I need the key. But you're the sterling example of security – I can't get to you at all.

"Hey, you still with me? Basta. Why do I even tolerate you?"

"It's your job." Nik said shortly, taking a spoon of dry oatmeal and chewing it mechanically.

"See the stars, they said. Andromeda galaxy, a world of opportunities! And I have to watch after a little kid eating his breakfast. Are you finished yet? Could you possibly be slower?"

I don't want to torment him, I just want to know why he's cruel. I want to know. I want to know about Earth and its past, when it was still beautiful. I want to know who you are, and I want to know who I am. I have no idea. The only thing I have is you – I guess that sounds romantic, but it's true. I need you to know who I am.

"Don't go pestering the scientists today, will you? You're going to bore me to death. Who cares about soil samples? There isn't any good soil around anyways, not anymore."

"On Earth." Nik pointed out. "They say the soil on Castor is very fertile."

"We're on Castor, are you blind? And deaf, I said let's go. I have someone I need to meet today and I don't need you in my way."

"I thought I'd go to the hospital wing today."

"What, and leaf through those old textbooks? Are you even looking for anything? The hospital wing is the most boring place in existence, besides this infernal planet."

I look at memory loss. Everything they have on it. I've read every book there, and scavenged for e-books in the databases. Why can't I remember you? Why can't I remember me?

"The doctors are Americans, anyways, they don't like Russians in there."

Nik didn't even know if he really was Russian, or if he had just picked it up somewhere, but Calicchio constantly makes jibes about it. If he could remember anything about Russia – if it was his homeland in the first place – perhaps he would care, but he simply shrugged off the soldier's comments. Calicchio could be cruel, but Nik would find my way in eventually.

- - -

Anya heard him when she dreamed, every night, the same voice, but different words.

I'll find my way in eventually. That's how I learn most of my history, did you know? The scientists are very nice about it, but I can read them, too. The things they don't like to talk about. The wars, the struggle, their families back at home. It's a big burden to carry, but you're there to carry it with me, right?

Are you there? Hello? I don't see why I keep trying. I must have been about to give up a thousand times. But I still come back to you.

Do you remember anything? Anything at all?

And Anya didn't – that what scared her.

"Anya, tell me about last night."

"What about it?" She murmured dully, letting her hair drape over her face, long and fine.

"The guards heard you screaming. You were crying out in your sleep, going on about voices. What voices?"

Anya sensed an opening and dove in, closing her eyes and reaching into the depths of Dr. Siegel's mind.

It must be the partner, but God! The distance is remarkable, but if I could somehow coordinate and see if there is a delay, but only when her mind is the most vulnerable. An act of self-preservation on an astounding scale.

"Anya, are you listening to me?"

Siegel's thoughts were cut off like a tap and she opened her eyes again, looking into his watery blue ones.

"I hear voices sometimes." Anya admitted slowly, wringing her hands in her lap.

"What kinds of voices?"

"A boy's. Terribly familiar, and always the same one. I don't know how to get rid of it."

"And you never hear this voice in the daytime, only at night?"

"Yes."

"Remarkable..." Siegel said, and Anya searched for a gap in his consciousness, but found none. "What does he say?"

He says things about minds, getting into them. Reading about history. Trying to find his memory. He knows other people, talks to them. He is lucky. I am a prisoner.

"I don't really remember. The monitor hasn't been able to catch anything?"

Dr. Siegel installed a monitor a while ago, a series of three small receptors trying to capture the voice transmissions she heard. Siegel had said it was for other research, but his mind had been open and she had heard.

"About the voices? That's not its job, but I have been running tests on the data collected when you were in your sleep. Does anything feel uncomfortable when you sleep, especially the monitors?

Yes, she wanted to cry, like someone was strangling her, drawing a noose around her neck – no, not her neck, her thoughts – and the boy would fade away, her only link to who she was.

A shake of a head, a lie.

"I have a new software program I'm going to download to the monitors. It's harmless, but it might be able to trap the isolated wavelengths and neutralize them."

Panic flooded through Anya's veins. Would she never hear him again? Her strange companion from so far away? The one who could speak of a world beyond four white walls? Whose voice she hungered for, who she screamed to in her sleep, trying to respond?

"Are you ready?"

It was like the monitors, only stronger, like strong hands had seized her brain and were tugging it out of her skull, digging their fingers into her. She toppled off of the examination table, clutching her head and sobbing, fighting against the strange force tugging at her with all its might, and Dr. Siegel shouted something...

The sensation faded, and with it a sense of release, of openness, and Dr. Siegel ran to her side, patted her hand and comforted her, but Anya searched in his mind, picked thorough the thoughts.

Could have triggered a catalyst, I could lose my job for this...

They really are powerful, aren't they? But with what?

All the planets in the galaxy and I get stuck on Pollux, with the most dangerous job in the world.

They say it's dangerous. I don't see the trouble, really.

Regaining her composure, Anya stood, still trembling slightly from the ordeal. But when she stood she felt that remarkable sense of freedom, and suddenly the deadened sensation she had so long associated with the monitors was gone...

Hello?

It was him, it was the boy, the strange boy from so far away. She could hear him.

Hello? Just checking in. Like always, I guess. When will you respond?

Anya squeezed her eyes shut and, as loudly as she could in her head, shouted back at him.

SHUT UP!

- - -

Nik toppled out of his chair, which made Calicchio laugh.

"Could you be any less coordinated? Don't just sit there – why are you staring at me like that? Of all the jobs, I say..."

Hello? Wait, hello? Was that you? Hey!

'Will you BE QUIET?'

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, it's just that I've been reaching out for so long...

'I know... I can hear you. You never shut up'

I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was doing, it just seemed so natural...

"Hey, kid. You'll get your jumpsuit dirty sitting on the floor like that, and guess who'll get blamed?"

'You talk about a world.'

The voice is full of rapture and longing that took Nik's breath away.

'Castor.'

Um, yeah. It's the planet I live on. It's mostly scientists out here for Earth expansion, looking for more resources, 'cause no one wants to leave Earth, not really...

'Earth. That's home, right?'

I guess. I don't know. I don't remember.

'Me neither.'

A chill ran down Nik's spine and he jumped to his feet and ran from the room, out of the laboratories, and stepped into the enclosed park area the scientists used for research. It was full to bursting with brilliant blooms and thick foliage, and if he wanted to hide Calicchio would never find him here.

You don't remember anything either?

'Just what I can pick up from their minds. Dr. Siegel and the occasional person who wanders by. Why is there Earth expansion?'

There's not enough resources anymore, so they're searching for new homes across the galaxies. Space travel isn't a new thing, and it isn't super expensive, so that's the best alternative. You can read minds too?

Silence, then a reply, so quiet Nik almost lost it in the gentle rustling of the leaves.

'Yes. I can. I can feel when there's a gap and work my way in, when their mental guard is down. What does Castor look like? Is it beautiful?'

Very beautiful, yeah. There are hills and trees and flowers like you've never seen before, and the gravity's a bit low so you bounce when you walk.

'I don't think I know what beautiful is. I don't know what I am, either.'

Then he was silent, brooding.

What's your name?

'Anya. I live on Pollux, if you're wondering.'

Why didn't you reply to me before now?

'I couldn't. I only heard you in my dreams, and even less when they put those infernal monitors in. Then Dr. Siegel tried to cancel your transmissions once and for all, but I think it went the opposite way he intended. I can speak to you now.'

What does Pollux look like?

'I don't know. I've been in a lab room since I can remember.

How long do you remember?

'Very little. I've lived a whole life and I only remember a brief section of it.'

Just like me. But you're...

'A prisoner.'

Nik wanted to find her, more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life.

'Your mind is open.'

What?

'I can read it. Would you like me to?

Nik's breath came short, and the anticipation and wonder of what could happen next filled him with excitement and longing.

Yes.

And in that second he felt a gap, further than the reaches of Castor, further than anything he had ever experienced before, and he dove in.

- - -

The snow fell, thick and wet, on Nik's shoulders, and he shivered in the cold, observing his situation. He stood on a slum-like street, with tattered banners serving as windows, fluttering in the wind. Two police officers, or some kind of officials, stood at a door, looking severely out of place. A small emblem on their sleeve showed they were interplanetary-approved.

"Our home." A voice whispered next to him, with the faintest trace of a Russian accent, and he turned to see Anya standing before him, her long, fine hair fluttering just like the banners did. He didn't even question the 'our.' He and Anya looked so similar they could be twins... In fact, he wondered if they were.

Castor and Pollux. The biggest clue.

"We received a call that there was enhanced telekinetic activity occurring at this residence and came to investigate."

"Vlad, they're here for the twins!" Nik hadn't noticed a woman at the door until she called out to her husband in the house and was shoved aside by the officers as they barreled through the door. She fell to the ground and Anya gasped quietly. Wary of proceeding into the house, Nik edged forward, but froze as a sound cut through the chilly night air, a single gunshot. Anya screamed and the scene shifted to some kind of conference, like the ones the scientists would hold every month or so, only much smaller, and the men were wearing suits.

"They are retrieved. What will we do to them?"

"Take them to separate planets – perhaps distance will nullify their gift some. Run tests on the girl, send in that one doctor you hired, see what he can make of it. I don't want Indochina peering into our minds."

"I'll ensure they won't sir. But they're only fifteen, sir. Is this too harsh?"

"This is war, sir. Life is harsh. Get used to it."

- - -

"Contact has been established. I repeat, contact has been established."

"That fool Siegel. What did he think he was doing, installing software? Did we approve it?"

"No, it's completely of his own design."

"Now what? They'll want to find each other."

"Why don't we let them?"

"Are you out of your mind?"

"As a pair, they'll be unstoppable. And if we convince them to our cause, so will we."

"I can't pretend I wouldn't like to have a look at Dear Mister Patel's mind. Indochina needs some shaking up, don't you think?"

"Right, sir."

- - -

'They want us to work for them. To be a pawn in their wars.'

They said they would facilitate travel. We should just take it to the next step.

'How so?'

I'm guessing they'll give orders to Siegel about travel. I'll meet you at the halfway point between the planets. Do you know how to input coordinates into a pod?

'Are you crazy? I've been living in this box for my whole life! Or the life I can remember.'

Here, I'll open my mind. You read it.

Nik slowly relaxed, reached outward with his mind, tried to find Anya and show her what she needed to do. The response came back soon.

'Right. How did you figure that out, anyways?'

I talk to the scientists a lot. You pick up a few things.

'ETA is three hours. See you soon.'

You too, sis.

- - -

Nik was right – Dr. Siegel led her out of the door today.

The experience was so frightening Anya almost fainted, and for one confused second she longed to be back in the room again. Freedom of mind and now physical freedom – what more could she want?

She wanted to meet Nik. She wanted to talk to him about his experiences on Castor, about all of the things he had learned. She could tell him the story of the time she had pried into Siegel's mind at a less-than-savory time, and he could share with her funny stories about the scientists, and tell her the history of the Earth, more beautiful than a Russian slum, but still the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Siegel was babbling, as pale as a sheet, trying to cover up his motives, but his mind was so wide open it was almost comical.

"Part of our new experiments is for you to see space, to see a bit of the world. We're meeting at Iustia, a midpoint between –"

Castor and Pollux. That was where she would meet Nik.

"The controls have been routed so you won't have to drive at all. Yes, you'll be going alone. I have the keycard here for the route info..."

At that moment Anya poured every ounce of anger and hate she had felt at her containment into Siegel's head, fiery invisible rage, and he crumpled to the ground. Anya was careful to tread on his hand as she stepped into the pod and input the coordinates to Iustia.

Freedom. Sweet release.

Are you ready?

'Yeah, just have one last thing to do.'

And what's that?

'Apologize.'

- - -

"Weirdo, where do you think you're going?"

Nik turned to see Calicchio – for once the person he wanted to see the most.

"Calicchio."

"You learned my name, smart one, he is. Where are you heading? I can't have you going off and killing yourself."

"I'm going home, Calicchio. I'm meeting Anya and we're leaving."

Nik didn't know if Calicchio had been filled in before he was assigned his job, but the question was answered when Calicchio turned pale. And suddenly, Nik realized, he could read him.

So it's over. The kid's gonna find his sister and you'll be out of a job.

Do you even care? Nah. Good riddance, I say. Weird kid, dumb planet, bad pay. In fact, I can't wait to be out of it.

But really he did care, more than Nik could even read, more than he thought a man like Calicchio could care for someone he pretended to hate so strongly for so long.

"Calicchio," He repeated, extending a hand, "If you care for me at all, if you have one scrap of feeling for my well-being, please, just let me go. You'll never hear from me again. Please, please, I need to go home."

Calicchio's rugged face was impassive for a moment, and Nik knew that he had failed, until the soldier extended his own hand. A handshake, the trace of a smile.

"Good luck, kid. Go home."

- - -

"They're approaching Iustia. All courses are identical to ours. No tampering suspected."

Over the blue surface of the planet two small spaceship pods floated, bobbing up and down ever so slightly, almost perfectly still.

"Input of Earth coordinates should activate in ten seconds. Spaceships will depart east relative to Iustia. ETA is four hours."

"Four hours and you can kiss Indochina goodbye, boys."

The first spaceship dipped down and began to fly around the planet of Iustia, not going right but going left.

"Incorrect coordinate assimilation, resending code."

"There's a deadlock on transmissions!"

"They don't have that kind of technology. What is going on?"

The second spaceship followed the first, circling the planet and then fading away from the camera, from the size of a penny to a dime to a pinprick, and then nothing at all.

"Gone. The kids are gone."

"That was our ticket to winning the war!"

"They're gone, and we can't trace them. The deadlock's tight."

Defeat, thick and heavy like a blanket, smothered the room.

"What will we do now?" Anxious whispers fluttered about the room, faces shining with rage, fear, or shock, all except one, who was smiling.

"Run. Run where we'll never find you, and be free."

- - -

It was only them there, Nik and Anya, on their small planet they had named Gemini. No one disturbed them or bothered them as they picked through each other's' memories, laughing over happy times and crying over somber ones. Really, they were the keys to each other, for without one the other would know nothing of their past. But it was better that way, and it drew them closer together.

Neither talked about the past, only the future on Gemini, where they could live in peace to the ends of their days. Earth wasn't cruel doctors or wars, but a small planet far away with shimmering meadows and blue skies. Humanity was benevolent and kind, and all oppression was behind them.

They would start over, reinvent themselves without their ties to the world they used to know, and it would be perfect, their own paradise.

They would not focus on what was, but what would come, and they would be ready.



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