((((This is about real life, not my oc/online persona, Olive

Look, this is gonna be depressing. And I'm pretty mad so I guess swear-y.  I guess if you don't wanna see this, you're more then welcome to skip it, but online is the only place I feel like I can get my feelings out.

In real life, whenever I want to say something serious, I always feel bad for bringing them down, so I end up turning it into a joke every bloody time I try to get my feelings out.

But if I'm not looking at the face, I can probably do this without breaking down, wussing out, or making a complete joke out of it.

So, since it's summer I went to get a swimming costume. I personally wanted to find some sort of trunks and bikini top (that didn't look like a bra)

I saw someone wearing similar last year and went, 'hey, that's cool'. I kept a mental note, and decided to try this year.

Only, I went with my dad. He's.. Old fashioned, really, and decided immediately I was only allowed to wear woman's swim shorts, which they didn't have any of in the right style.

But, I saw trunks that I actually really liked. They were actually pink and floral, and wouldn't have gone anywhere near my knees, and I pointed them out to him.

But he suddenly got grumpy, and told me no. So we got a normal swim suit.

I spoke to him about it later, telling him especially 'I want to say this without it becoming an argument'

So, I expressed (politely) that I felt uncomfortable, and I was getting a little upset (not angry upset, but upset as in it's diffuclt not to cry when writing this)

And he basically dismissed me. I told him I feel uncomfortable, and that he tries to force stuff onto me, which he does.

And basically, he went on going on about a 'middle ground' as though he had to wear it as well or something, and that I should be glad I wasn't forced to wear pink frocks or whatever.

I told him this, and that it's something any fucking human being should be granted, and he told me that "as long as he's paying for anything, he's going to try and impart his views onto me"

So essentially, I spent ages working up to opening up to him, and he dismissed it with no better reason then "you're a girl", which makes no fucking sense

I'm really sorry for bothering you all with this, I just needed it off my chest and this is the only place that can happen