"Goddammit." Lance muttered. "Coffee machine is broken."

Keith glanced up, before turning down his loud phone, which he was watching TikTok on. "What?"

"I said, the coffee machine is broken." Lance sighed. "I'm going round to Kassy's. I need my coffee. It's so early."

"It's 10am."

"Exactly." Lance yawned and walked to Kassy and Shiro's house - in his pyjamas, of course (his dressing gown and boxers.)

He entered their house, and saw Shiro in the kitchen. "Hey."

Shiro glanced up, looking almost comedically jacked in his checkered shirt. "Oh, morning, Lance."

Lance started making coffee.

"Is there a reason you've burst into my house and helped yourself to my food?" Shiro asked.

"Coffee machine is busted." Lance sighed. He grabbed some milk from the fridge and poured it into his coffee. Shiro watched him, his face turning to amusement as he sipped it.

"Alright. I hope you know that's Selena's milk you're drinking."

Lance paused. "...it's formula, right?" When he was met with silence, he stared at him. "Shiro. Tell me it's formula. Please." Lance groaned and buried his face in his hand. "Why is my life so weird?!"

"Why do you think your life is weird?"

"I was chosen to be part of a team that forms a massive robot to save the universe. Now I'm back on Earth living on the same street as the rest of the team. My husband watched the same TikToks over and over again at full blast. I'm living the same day of my life on loop. My sister's gonna have baby. And I just drank my other sister's ex's breast milk."

"Consider yourself lucky to be associated with Kassy's breasts." Shiro replied. "She has the build of a goddess."

"That doesn't change that I just drank fucking titty milk!"

"Fuck!"

Shiro turned around and looked at Ulaz, and then back at Lance. Lance blinked before running home.

"Keith, today can't get any worse."

"Oh... I think it could."

***

"Did you hear?" Rora asked, bursting into Pidge's house.

"That Kassy isn't actually pregnant?"

"No."

"Uh.... no, I haven't, then."

"Rachel's dropped out of Lance and Keith's surrogacy agreement."

Pidge's eyes widened. "No!"

"Yep."

"Oh, damn. That's awful." Pidge shook her head. "How are they?"

Rora shrugged. "Keith just told me. He said Lance is in pieces."

"Yeah, I bet. Poor guy. He wants a kid more than anything."

They were quiet for a moment.

"What are they gonna do, then?" Pidge asked. "Are they gonna try and find a new surrogate, or...?"

"I don't know." Rora replied with a soft sigh. "I really feel for them. Imagine getting that far into a surrogacy agreement and then... her just dropping out. It's the sort of thing you have to be really ready to do before you agree. If she wasn't ready, she shouldn't have agreed, full stop."

Pidge nodded. "Well, as long as they don't ask me."

Rora laughed. "Legit. I don't want this to sound bad, but I want the first thing in my uterus to be my child."

"I want everyone as far away from my uterus as possible." Pidge replied.

She laughed. "Speaking of uteruses, when's Daisy due?"

"Uh, a week ago."

Rora inhaled sharply. "Oh, bless her. I bet she's uncomfortable."

Pidge nodded, when her phone buzzed. "Speak of the devil. It's Matt." She read it over. "Yep, Daisy's in labour."

"Look at us. We're a pair of prophets."

***

There was a deep rumble of thunder. Kassy glanced out of the window as it started raining.

"This is my kind of weather." She said to Shiro, bouncing Selena on her hip.

"You're just a little goth girl at heart, huh?" Shiro responded with a laugh. She smiled slightly.

"Once a goth, always a goth." She responded. "Speaking of goths, Daisy's having the baby."

"Oh, nice."

Kassy placed Selena down and went over to Shiro, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding onto him for a second. He rubbed her back and kissed her cheek gently. It was silent for a second; just the sound of the rain tapping on the window.

"It's quiet." Kassy said.

"Yeah, it's nice." Shiro replied.

Kassy was silent for a second. "It's too quiet."

They exchanged a glance before going upstairs and knocking on Ulaz' door.

"Ulaz, honey, are you okay?" Kassy called.

"Yes, mommy bitch."

Kassy sighed. "Don't say bitch. Can we come in?"

"Yes, mommy cunt."

Kassy opened the door and found Ulaz painting a swirl of all kinds on the wall. She froze in shock.

Shiro's eyes widened behind her. "Ulaz... what the...?"

"It's my masterpiece!" Ulaz looked up at them with a proud smile.

Kassy blinked a few times. "Yeah, it's your turn to discipline." She patted Shiro's shoulder and left the room.

***

"I don't know what I'm gonna do." Kassy shook her head. "This kid has some serious behavioural problems. He doesn't listen, he purposely goes against everything we say. And he just doesn't understand the difference between right and wrong. He swears like a sailor, which, yes, I'll take some responsibility for, but... fuck." She sighed and shook her head.

Kassy had sped to the hospital where Colleen was, waiting for the birth of her first grandchild.

"Sweetheart, the kid was conceived and born in a different galaxy. Of course he has behavioural problems."

"I love him, but... Jesus, I'm at my wits end. Were any of your kids like this?"

"Matthew was, til he got his ADHD diagnosis. Maybe take him to a doctor and see what they say."

Kassy nodded. "It's worth a try." She responded. Rora and Pidge came into the waiting room then and waved at them.

"Hello, my lovelies." Colleen smiled at them and hugged them.

"Where's dad?" Rora asked.

Colleen smiled wryly. "He's giving Matt a pep talk."

"How's Matt?" Pidge asked

She shook her head. "He'll be fine once the baby's here. It's the anxiety settling in."

A few minutes of silence passed.

Then, Matt ran into the waiting room, slipped, nearly fell, and smiled widely.

"I'm a dad."