~Alisa~

_ Hate me, please do. Cause you're not me, and that's cool _
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The entire episode with Kambili still left me in immense shock and toxic hurt. I was still weakened by it, and undoubtedly worn out by the worry, sadness and hurt I felt afterwards. Who knew what she must've thought of me? Was that even a question? She must think I'm a selfish backstabber! A traitor, a villainess, a wicked being! She must think all sorts of bad things about me. Bad things which I do not blame her for having thoughts about.

The atmosphere around the entire mansion, was stale and beyond tensed. It was eerily quiet, pin-drop quiet, and it was a hollow dome of worry, bitterness, sadness and extreme anxiety. The most affected one - if not me - was Kambili. All through yesterday, after she had confronted me in my room, she'd locked herself up in her room and refused coming out.

Overnight, I heard sobbing and wails coming from her room - which was right next to mine. Those sobs and wails haunted my mind and erased every form of comfort or sleep I must've had or felt. They constantly bit into my conscience and repeatedly slapped into my wounded heart, causing fresh wounds to reopen each time. Knowing I'd hurt such a nice, kind-hearted soul like Kambili, made me down with so much hate for myself and my actions. I was ready to do anything to regain her trust. Even if it meant dying in the process.

It was true that I was only trying to help. It was also true that I didn't intentionally want to hurt anyone, yet, the outcome proved to hurt more people that I had never anticipated. I only wanted to do something nice for this family, and yet I was busy dancing to the tunes of the devil who'd ripped this family apart at it's seams. The devil whom I thought was an angel.

The irony!

Yesterday was purely tragic. The absence of Kamsi in this house made everyone sad. Including his father, who also seemed to be eerily quite today. In fact, everyone was. And I felt worse cause I felt I was the reason behind it all. The loneliness and immense pain I felt, was totally beyond what I thought I could bear. The last thing I wanted was to hurt these people. Or be the one to bring pain to these people.

Seriously, I wondered why I brought pain and misfortune wherever I went! I do not blame my previous foster families for kicking me out, it was good they did else I would've caused more damages to their lives. A dark feeling and gloomy cloud of absolute guilt continued to hover over me. And I found myself feeling sick to my stomach. Sick to my stomach, in such a way that the air in this house seemed poisonous to me. And in such a way that that hellhole called school was a much better haven than this house. And that was why I still made sure to escape my self-blame - even if it were to be for a second or two - and fled to school.

Unfortunately, Fate had other plans. I bumped into Mrs. Ekwegh.

She stared at me, and I stared back. I wondered what was going on in her head, and I didn't know what to think of her anymore. On one hand, Kambili could only be letting her paranoia get the best of her, and the other hand; she could be right about Mrs. Ekwegh. Her nice, warm aura and personality, could all be a facade. A bait into luring me into helping her. And if that was so, it worked perfectly well cause it had me fooled. With no suspicions whatsoever.

"Good morning, Alisa" she suddenly said, and offered a small smile.

I fumbled, and slowly returned the smile. I was seriously confused at this point, I didn't know what to do. To hate her, or to trust her at the expense of Kambili's trust. I really didn't want to have to pick sides, but in this case, I was left with no option than to do just that. Yet, I had no idea what to decide.

I knew she could tell I was thinking about yesterday. And I had a feeling she knew Kambili had told me everything. The look in her eyes, had pain, emptiness, worry and immense tiredness withheld in those drained out deep brown orbs of hers. It seemed like she had instantly given up on everything, yet, was still trying to patch things up. Could she be pretending? Or was all I saw all in my head?

To me, it couldn't. But logically, it could be a pigment of my imagination. My imagination trying to play tricks on me, to give me reasons not to believe that she could be the devil that has been wrecking havoc in this family the entire time. I didn't want that to be true. I feared that being true, but reality's bite got me prepared to face the sting from it being true. I braced myself for whatsoever it was I was to see and hear, henceforth.

Like the old Alisa I was and used to be; I made an internal promise to myself to be strong, firm and ready for anything. After all, life was an endless rollercoaster of emotions, and anything could happen. Your enemy, could've been your friend the entire time... And your friend; your enemy. Life happens.

"Good morning, ma" I looked away, as my reply shocked me by finally coming out.

She cleared her throat and heaved a sigh. "She told you, didn't she?" She said, out of the blue, and causing me to finally steal a glance at her.

I was confused at her supposedly assumption. "Told me what?" I chose to act dumb. I wanted to hear for myself, choosing to choke down the lump in my throat. I was ready to get my heart broken again.

My eyes were still fixed on her. I couldn't even believe this was happening. She was so nice to me. Too nice - in fact. No one has ever cared that much about me, and neither have they ever been so nice to me. Truly, good things never last in my life. I should've known this would happen. I suspected it would, and that it'd all fade away as usual - but not like this. This, although I hoped it wouldn't, took me by surprise. I got too comfortable, forgetting that I'm an unfortunate girl, and things like these never last in my life. And what hurts the most; is that they made me happy, and finally crushed me with deep sadness. And the worst past is; that it hurts more than I could've ever imagined.

"Kambili overheard me talking to her father yesterday. I told him about what I had earlier discussed and how you had promised me to reunite this family," she sighed, and I watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. I couldn't tell if those were crocodile tears, or merely genuine ones.

What exactly was the reason they adopted me?

"She still thinks I killed her mother. I didn't, and I don't even know how to convince you that I didn't do it. I would never do something like that" she cried at this point, and I said nothing but just watched. Confusion engulfed me in a rough embrace, and I couldn't find a way to understand my emotions.

This family is weird.

"After all she had said to me yesterday, I knew she would confront you about it. And judging from your behavior this morning, I'm sure I'm right" she sighed.

Her eyes were much more gentle now. "Look, I'm not here to try to convince you into believing me. You have the right to think I did it, you have every right to hate me like she does. But all I ask is that you be careful, Alisa. The issue with this family, with this house, is much more than it seems. Much more than you can handle... And all you need to know, is that you need to be very careful. They are evil people everywhere, you may think I'm one and that's fine... But just be careful. And trust no one, no one at all" she smiled at me. A warm, genuine smile that let a small sparkle to her eyes. And with that, she slowly walked away.

I was confused. Utterly stupefied. Totally at sea. And beyond scared.

What was she talking about? Just what?

Trust no one? Be careful? What the hell was she trying to say? Was this just to make me scared? Cause if it was, darn! It was friggin working!

I didn't know how long I stood there, before I heard the sound of Kambili's door come open. Slowly, I snapped out of my daze and turned to look at her already messed-as-hell face. Reddened and blotchy from her continuous crying overnight, her face looked a mess. She looked a mess as well.

Honestly, the moment I saw her, my heart began to painfully ache. I hurt her, and I was terribly sorry for that. I wanted to apologise. I needed her to understand that I'm not the villainess that she thinks I am. I was only trying to help!

"Kambili, please. Please, I'm begging you. I didn't mean to hurt you, I meant no harm at all. Please forgive me. Please!" I began to beg, getting on my friggin knees with stupid tears welling up in my eyes.

Kambili had a ghost-like look on her face. It almost felt like she couldn't hear nor could she see me, as she simply dragged her feet past me.

"Please, Kambili. Just say something, even if it means hitting me. Anything! Just please get this misconceptions about me over with. Please" I kept begging, and she stared at me with her emotionless eyes. They looked drained, empty and had dulled over time. They scared me to even stare into them. They were ghostly. And they read hurt and misery.

"Leave me alone, Alisa. If there's anyone I'd speak to right now, it's not you" she said, already trying to walk away. Again!

"Kambili, please. Please, Kambili. You've been so nice to me, I don't want to believe this is the end of our friendship and—"

"Our friendship died a natural death yesterday. If there's one thing that I hate more than anything, then it's getting backstabbed. I trust easily, and when that trust gets broken... It's really hard to get it fixed" she said to me, causing all air around me to seem to choke me.

I wanted to faint. This couldn't be it!

"I only wanted to help! Please, please I'm begging you. Kambili, don't do this. Take your anger out on me, I don't mind... But don't end our friendship, Kambili, please" I'd never thought I'd beg anyone like this ever again, after I'd begged my first foster family to let me stay with them. But here I was, begging this girl to forgive me for something I didn't think was so much of a big deal.

"You don't get it, do you?" She eyed me, and scoffed. "Just leave me alone, Alisa. Please" with that, I stepped back and let her walk away.

My heart sank, the tears in my eyes got hotter, and my lips began to quiver. I felt every last hope I had of staying here get shattered into pieces. I might as well prepare for the big finale. I knew I just might get lost from here real soon. And at this point of my life, the numbness was real. I didn't care anymore.  Not once, not at all. I didn't bother, whatsoever.

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At school, I decided to receive some fresh air and decided to stay at the school's mini garden. I didn't want anyone talking to me, or even looking at me. My life was a mess, and all I wanted was to be alone. As always.

It has always been that way for me. No one sticks or stays, they come and they leave. It lasts for a few days, I smile and I laugh, and they go once again, and I'm left all alone. Funny thing is; each time, it never hurt as much as it was hurting now.

Sometimes I wish I could just turn the hands of time, and stop my mother from ever giving birth to me. If she knew she hated me so much, then why didn't she abort me when she knew she was pregnant with me? Why did she have to leave me there at the orphanage?

Why?

I still have a few memories of my childhood before I got to the orphanage. Memories which I refused to remember, and tried so hard to flush out of my head. I hate them. And they hate me, so the friggin feeling is mutual. I still remember that my biological father had died before my mother gave me up for adoption. I still remember that day so clearly. It's like a footage that only I can see and hear. I hate it! I hate this! I hate my life! And I hate me! I was so tired of everything that I couldn't care less if I'd just die.

That day;

I had thought we were basically going to see the orphan kids as usual, like we always did every year. The only thing that shocked me, was that I never got to go back home. It'd been a month since I hadn't seen my father before then.

And after a few weeks, my mother had finally opened up to me that he was dead, and never coming back. I had thought she was merely joking, and so I never believed her. But now, I do.

The life I had before now, was one I hated to remember and preferred to think never existed, and was merely all in my head. But reality overruled my ignorance and stupid reluctance. I could still remember the house. Although a bit vague, I still had a little memory of the large house. I could still remember that I was from a rich home. We had everything we wanted, and more.

But my mother didn't want me. Sometimes, I'd lay on my bed and ponder why she gave me up for adoption in the first place. If it was money, then she already had enough. So that couldn't be the reason. Perhaps she never did like me? And was probably waiting for my father's death before she finally got rid of me? Couldn't say I blame her. Who wouldn't get sick of me? Literally everyone I've known has gotten sick of me at some point. So this was no new occurrence to me. Overtime, I got accustomed to the feeling. It was a part of my cursed life. And I just couldn't erase it from the history books that'ld have my name in it.

I sound like a friggin sadist right now. Woman up, Alisa! You've met worse painful situations, you've tasted hurt and you've known agony all your life. Suck it up!

The voice in my head was right. This wasn't new to me. I shouldn't keep dwelling on it.

Christ! What happened to the old me? I never let these kinds of things get to me!
Being in this sh*thole isn't good for me.

With a long, exasperated sigh; I got up from the white park bench I'd been sitting on, and slowly headed to class. Not that I was in the mood to learn, but it was much better than sitting here and sulking on stupid sh*t I just couldn't control.

The minute I got to class, I met a crowd of noisy classroom filled with bratty teenagers. Some girls were busy at a corner of the class; gossiping about stupid stuff I was darn sure they weren't sure of. Whilst some girls were busy sitting on the laps of their supposed boyfriends, some were busy making out in class.

For God's sake! Get a room!

Some boys were basically chit-chatting. Everyone was busy doing one crap or the other, everyone except this curly, brown haired boy. He had dark skin, and looked really familiar.

Okay, it's just Jonathan. Shut up already!

I stared at Jonathan who basically sat at the corner of the class, and stared out the window. I didn't know how long I spent gawking at this boy, but when he suddenly turned his head towards me; I realized it must've been a pretty long time.

"Quit staring at him, hoe!" Someone yelled, and I immediately snapped my head to the direction of the geezer.

Of course! Friggin psych arse Yewande!

"Ever mind your business?" I threw at him.

"Ever shut up?" He threw back.

Silence. I recalled the old saying; "silence is the best answer for a fool", and I immediately decided that there was no use talking to such an arse hole like him. So I ignored him, and went to sit down on my chair.

"That wasn't cool, Wande. Seriously, free the girl. What the hell did she do to you?" That voice was familiar. I knew that voice!

Christ!

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I should really stop doing this suspense thing. Seriously! I can only imagine how annoying it is. I'll stop😂

Anyway, so I read some comments and got some guesses on whose y'all thought the Unknown POV was. I can't say if you're right or wrong, this book is literally writing itself. Fr! This stuff just pops up, and I simply write them.
Sha, we will soon find out togeda!

If you liked this chapter, and want an update tomorrow, then please vote and leave a comment. Please?🙃
Thank you, and God bless you as you do so.

Next update: ??

Iono yet. I'll know when I check how things are with my week. Love you guys!❤️❤️❤️

Bye!💜