14.2
" In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. "
— George Orwell
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14.2 ; LIES.
CAROLINE HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT that secrets and lies were silent killers. She knew from experience how her secrets ate up her insides, slowly chipping away at who she was. Or, at least, who she thought she was. She had the first-hand experience of the devastation lies and secrets create. They break, they chip, they wither.
However, in Olivia Hopkin's case, they kill.
Moments after she disappeared into the CCTV room, the unsub had cut the security footage and snapped the agent's neck in seconds without anyone noticing. Elle had been the one to find her body slumped over a computer keyboard, the screen blank.
A few minutes ago, she had been alive. Then, in the second it took to snap her neck, she was dead. It was jarring to think of how fast everything could change.
One second, you're alive.
The next, you're dead.
Once Elle had found her body, she immediately informed the team. Gideon had been the one to come up with the idea to inform the other 3 suspects to see which one reacted differently.
As Caroline watched Bruno, Gina, and Kruger file into the room, she wondered if the mole felt any remorse at all. She knew the profile and knew that whoever the mole was, he or she doesn't feel remorse. She knew that but still couldn't stop herself from wondering.
"What's going on? What are we doing here?" Kruger asked them, his voice sharp. "You're pulling us away from our assignments. There's a woman out there whose life depends on us."
Her eyes narrowed. For a suspect, he seemed more inconvenienced than he should.
Beside him, Gina glanced around the room, searching. "Where's Olivia?"
"Olivia Hopkins was murdered 10 minutes ago," Hotch informed them. "Her neck was snapped. Just like John Summers"
All 3 of the CIA agents froze. She watched for all their micro-expressions—something to give them away. She saw nothing.
After a moment, Kruger scoffed. "What are you talking about? You're lying. Where is she?"
The BAU said nothing. Bruno and Gina exchanged a glance before looking to Kruger. Slowly, once the information sunk in, his face paled.
"Look, people don't just get murdered inside the CIA," he insisted, an edge of hysteria in his voice. He whipped his head around to Gina, who had been staring at him the whole time. "What are you looking at?"
Gina didn't look away as Bruno spoke up, "I realize the enormity of this, but Hassan Nadir is still out there looking to kill his wife, and I need every agent on this."
Finally, Gina tore her eyes from Kruger's. She kept her head down as she stalked out of the room. Her colleague, after staring blankly at the wall for a moment, followed. Bruno Hawks exited in the opposite direction with Gideon right behind him.
The room fell silent. Caroline stared blankly out the window, her eyes focused on Olivia's empty desk. She felt a warmth coming from behind her, but she didn't say a word.
"It wasn't your fault," Spencer whispered behind her.
Caroline stiffened. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Olivia's death wasn't your fault, Care."
She turned to face him, wrapping her arms around herself tightly. "I wasn't...How did you—"
He shrugged. "I'm your best friend. I just know."
Caroline swallowed as she faced the window once again. A comfortable silence fell over them. Spencer didn't leave. After a few minutes, she sighed.
"I shouldn't have pushed her like I did," Caroline admitted under her breath. "And I shouldn't have left her alone afterward."
"You were doing your job—our job," he stated matter-of-factly. "You couldn't have known how she'd react."
"But I did."
"What?"
She huffed out a breath. "Forget I said anything. I don't know what I'm talking about."
"O...kay?" He paused. "Are you sure everything is fine?"
She sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, everything is good, Spence."
"Then why didn't you tell me about your birthday being today?"
She gently shut her eyes and cursed herself in her head. She should've known he would ask her eventually. She couldn't keep avoiding him. They worked together, it was practically impossible.
"I just don't have a good experience with my birthday," she said simply. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the whole truth either. "So I just...stopped celebrating."
Spencer didn't say anything for a moment. His silence went on longer than she had anticipated and she turned back around to face him. His face was pensive, looking deep in thought. He snapped out of it once her eyes met his.
"How—Would you..." Spencer paused and took a breath. She waited for him patiently. "After the case is over, would you like to do something for your birthday?"
Caroline opened her mouth, but he cut her off, his nervous rambling kicking in, "It doesn't have to be anything big. We could just stay in your apartment and eat a cupcake. Or watch a movie. Or—"
"Spence," she said softly, stopping him by putting a hand on his arm. "I...I would like that."
A big grin lit up his face. "Seriously?"
For once, she smiled a genuine, real smile. "Yeah."
She wasn't quite sure why she had agreed to anything, but as she looked at the grin on Spencer's face, she was glad she had. It wouldn't do her any good to sit alone in her room and think about everything that's happened anyway. At least this way, it made Spencer happy and she won't be alone.
She deserved to be happy today. She wanted to have one day where her past doesn't haunt her every thought. And when she was with Spencer, although it doesn't completely erase how she felt, he made her feel better—more like herself.
The young doctor opened his mouth to say something else, but they got interrupted by Gideon entering the room.
"Reid, Lucas, I want you two to question Kruger Spence," he instructed them. "I want to make sure his reaction to Olivia's death is genuine."
"Okay, we'll go now," she replied to her superior before turning to Spencer. "We can talk later."
He nodded in agreement as they both headed into the CIA office. They found Kruger Spence near the GPS tracking system, buried in his work. Caroline could tell he was upset—his shoulders were tense, his face was drawn. Yet, with each question they asked him, he grew more and more defensive.
"Look, just because I lied about Olivia doesn't make me the mole," Kruger snapped at them, practically barring his teeth. Spencer pulled Caroline away from him.
"No, but the virus that took out the CCTV monitors does," Derek told him as he approached. "It originated from your computer."
"Then whoever put it in my computer is trying to frame me!" He exclaimed, his eyes wild.
"Olivia was looking for something. She didn't find a thing. You know why? Because all of your files had been erased."
"Do you really think if I was the mole, I would keep files that would incriminate me? Those files were erased to make me look guilty!"
"Looks like it's working," Caroline muttered. Kruger Spence whirled on her, his eyes wild and mouth tight. She felt Spencer's grip on her elbow tighten.
Before anyone could say anything else, Gina announced across the room, "Morgan, your girlfriend's calling!"
The three profilers exchanged a look. It had to be Garcia. The three of them headed to the nearest computer and connected onto the tech analyst's line.
"Hiya, crime fighters," Garcia said once her face and JJ's popped on the screen. "So, here's the deal. That virus left a back door into the CIA mainframe."
Morgan frowned. "Yeah, so?"
"Well, I sort of went ahead and used it to find out who ordered John Summers' psych eval with Gideon."
"Who was it?"
"Well, that's what's so weird."
Caroline leaned over Morgan's shoulder. "Who was it, Garcia?"
"It was John Summers," JJ said.
Caroline furrowed her brow. "Summers? Why would he order his own evaluation?"
"So we'd ask that question ourselves," Reid revealed, his eyes wide with the realization. "We missed something on that tape."
Reid's hypothesis made sense. Why else would Summers order his own evaluation? He wanted to leave them with clues, just like he did with his suspicions about the mole.
Morgan rested against the desk and huffed out a breath. "Well, we better find out what it is before Hassan's friend in here beats us to it."
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"Presidents come, presidents go," Summers mused. "One thing always remains: the people that run those presidents."
Gideon paused. He glanced up at the agent sitting beside him, his face contemplative. "People like you?"
"Me?" Summers scoffed. "No. No, I'm an expendable pawn. But I got wise to their game."
Caroline tilted her head as she watched Summers' evaluation for what felt like the millionth time. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, and her were watching intently, trying to find any clues he had left for them. So far, it had just been cryptic answers.
"Game?" Gideon questioned. "What game?"
"Battleship. I'm the ship at sea. They try to sink me."
"How do you cope?"
"Compartmentalization," the agent answered. "Separate and seal every aspect of my life."
Gideon chuckled. "How does that work?"
"If one part of the hull is compromised, the rest of the hull remains intact. I stay afloat."
"And what about a direct hit?"
"Then I have a box that I put the really important things in, a sort of...insurance policy."
Gideon frowned a little at his response. "Against what?"
For the first time during the evaluation, John Summers rotated his whole body to fully face Gideon. He made complete eye contact. Wide stare, dilated pupils. His fists were unclenched. Then he murmured, "Sudden death. Keep it safe from those who appear to be friends."
Caroline picked up the remote and paused the video. She gestured to Summers in the video. "See his body language? It's open, revealing. He was trying to tell you about the mole, Gideon."
The older profiler stared at the screen, his face blank. Beside him, Morgan asked, "If they were following Summers, how come they don't know where Summers put Aaliyah?"
"You couldn't follow Summers through a desert," Gideon said. "He was that good."
Hotch looked to the older profiler and frowned. "Somebody followed you."
"Then Summer must have known they'd be filming him," Morgan concluded.
"They always are," Gideon said simply. "So smile."
Caroline frowned at her superior as he began to pace around the room. He was acting strange, and for Jason Gideon, that was saying something. She pressed the computer connect button on the remote to access Garcia. Within seconds, the tech analyst and the press liaison appeared on the screen.
"Garcia, can you review the tape?" She asked as she set the remote down.
The tech analyst shrugged, her short blond pigtails bouncing as she did so. "He sure likes boats."
"He refers to compartmentalizing his life like the hull of a ship," JJ commented.
Garcia nodded. "Yeah. And then he talks about a box."
"And putting something inside the box as an insurance policy."
An insurance policy...
Oh. John Summers was clever.
"He was telling Gideon how to find Aaliyah," Caroline said to the team. "Summers' cover in Saudi was for a shipping company."
"Oh, Caroline, you brilliant blonde," Garcia murmured as she began to type on her keyboard. "Ok. What about a shipping container? That's a big box."
The computer beeped as results started to roll in. JJ leaned forward and read the screen before saying, "The only shipping port near Summers' apartment in Baltimore, it's north up the I-95 from Langley."
Caroline huffed out a breath. "Garcia, I love you."
The tech analyst flashed her a smile. As she returned back to her computer, the smile slowly dropped off her face.
"Garcia?"
"Someone just tapped into this feed," she said as she typed furiously on her keyboard. There was a tinge of panic in her voice.
"We just found out where Aaliyah is," Hotch said as he looked out the window to the CIA office. Caroline quickly glanced over the room. Both Gina and Bruno were on the phone. Kruger Spence was nowhere to be seen.
"And so did someone else."
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Once they had found where Summers hid Aaliyah, everything moved in a blur. Gideon had cleared Gina from being the mole and sent her with Derek to extract the woman and her children. Caroline glanced at the clock on the wall. They had left 5 minutes ago. By chopper, they should arrive at the shipping port any minute now.
She sat across from Kruger Spence, watching as he squirmed a little in his chair. He had handed over his gun when Hotch and her escorted him into the conference room. Kruger being the mole was easy—after the betrayal of his wife and Olivia, the betrayal of his country was easy.
Hotch stood behind Kruger as he stared out the window, waiting. Watching. Through the blinds, she saw something on the GPS map. Four thermal figures—two adults, two children. She kept her face cool as she mentally cursed.
Hassan beat them to Aaliyah.
There were a couple more minutes of silence before Kruger finally spoke, "Can't you people see what's going on? All of this was part of their plan, and now Hassan is going to kill Aaliyah."
Caroline carefully opened up the piece of paper, facing the message towards Kruger. Confusion passed over his face.
"This is our one and only offer," Hotch said. "Consider it carefully before you respond."
Kruger stared at the note for a moment longer. His eyes flashed to hers. She schooled her face into a cool, neutral expression.
"Look, if this is some kind of a trick, I'm not buying it. You're gonna have to do better than that," Kruger snapped as he leaned towards them. "I am not the mole."
She felt Hotch rest a hand on her shoulder. She folded up the note and slipped it into her jacket pocket. She slowly stood up and faced the unit chief. He gave her a brief nod before returning his stare to Kruger.
Without another word, she walked out of the conference room with her hands in her pockets. She slipped in behind Gideon, Spencer, and Elle, no one noticing her entrance. They were all too busy staring at the GPS imaging on the screen to notice anything else. Two new thermal figures had appeared since she last checked. And, given the concerned look on both Elle and Spencer's face, it had to be Morgan and Gina.
Slowly, the thermal figures began to exit the shipping container.
"Morgan, what's going on?" Gideon asked over the comms system. He received nothing but static.
Bruno glanced back at his old friend, his face wary. "Still certain Gina isn't the mole?"
Gideon said nothing. Over the comms system, Morgan's weak voice patched through, "We got a situation here."
The thermal figures started to line up. Four of the figures—Morgan, Aaliyah, and her children—stood off to the side as the other two thermal figures stood across from each other. She could make the faint outline of a gun in the figure's hand.
"Gina," Gideon said calmly, "don't do this."
"I don't take orders from you," Gina's rumbling voice announced over the intercom. "Bruno, what do you want me to do?"
The deputy director's back straightened. "You know what to do."
"Say it."
"It's not your call," Gideon warned him.
Bruno whipped around and his eyes flashed. It was the first time she had seen any real emotion from him. "I told you from the start this was strictly in-house."
The older profiler barred his teeth. "This is not your call."
Bruno ignored him. "Gina, what are you waiting for?"
"An order."
The director didn't even glance back at his old friend before he said, "Finish him."
"Gina, do not do this."
"You're gonna cut the visual feed. Right, Bruno?"
"Of course." Bruno turned to the agent at the navigational command center and nodded to her. "Cut it now. Cut it."
The thermal imaging disappeared and was replaced with a black screen. Her stomach did a flip. There was complete silence on the other line.
BANG!
Caroline focused her eyes on Bruno as the sound of gunshots erupted into the room. He wasn't doing what any normal person would do at the sound of gunshots. He wasn't tensed. He was relaxed, calm.
Relieved.
It was silent in the CIA office as Bruno turned to face the profilers, still completely relaxed. No sign of emotion anywhere on his face. Detached and emotionally distant.
"I wanna thank you, Jason, for your help," the director said to the older profiler.
Gideon slowly glanced up at him, his face sullen. "Why?"
Bruno frowned. "Excuse me?"
"Why did you turn against everything you believe in?"
"What are you talking about?"
"When someone asks you how you feel about losing one of your colleagues, the only human answer is 'I feel guilty', isn't it?" Gideon murmured as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.
"But as you and your team so brilliantly deduced, Kruger Spence is the guilty one," Bruno asserted, his voice becoming hard.
Gideon turned to Caroline and motioned her forward. She walked up the deputy director and pulled the folded piece of notebook paper and handed it to him. He opened it and watched his face drop.
She knew what the note said by heart because she had written it herself only ten minutes ago.
Bruno began to chuckle as he slipped the note into his suit pocket. "Ridiculous," he said. "Absolutely absurd."
"The only thing that is absurd is your arrogance," Gideon replied. "To believe that you could get away with this."
"Unfortunately," Bruno sighed, his face a clear picture of calm, "with Hassan now dead, you have no proof."
Spencer stepped up beside the older profile, his cell in his hand. "Actually, Hassan is alive and well. He's en route. That's all the proof we'll need."
For the first time, panic flashed in the director's eyes. However, as soon as it appeared, it disappeared just as fast, but she saw it. She had her suspicions about the director after Olivia's death, how cavalier he acted.
Nobody with a conscious could remain that detached and aloof unless they had something to hide.
Bruno took a step towards the profilers. Her hand rested on her gun on instinct.
"You are a fool if you think they're gonna put me in prison with all that I know," the director declared to his old friend, his voice becoming gruff.
Caroline stepped in front of him, shielding his view from Gideon. He stared down at her, seemingly amused. She hated the smug look on his face.
"Why did you have to kill Olivia?" She asked him.
"Economics," Gideon answered for him as he spoke to the director. "She was looking into your financial records when you snapped her neck."
"So she knew your dirty little secret," she hissed. After everything the agent had been through, she died because she was doing the right thing. All because of money.
Bruno smirked at her. "Which one? I have so many."
"You were looking to cash out using Hassan," she said. It wasn't a question.
"Mm-hmm."
She stepped away from him, her stomach churning.
"$20 million from Hassan will go a very long way to helping occupy my mind on a beach somewhere," Bruno said as two agents approached him from behind.
His arrogance, his smugness, unnerved her. He turned on his co-workers and country, and this is what he had to say?
"The only beach you'll see is on a postcard I send you from my vacation," Gideon told him as he held his hand in front of Bruno, his palm facing the ceiling. "Let me have your gun."
As Bruno unclipped his gun and placed it in Gideon's hand, he said to him, "You know, I think the consequences of what you're doing to me, my friend, are gonna be a lot harder to live with than you think."
Gideon didn't respond. Without another word, Bruno turned and walked out of the office with the two agents on his heels.
He was never heard from again.
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"Hey, do you care if I make a quick stop before we head to your apartment?"
Caroline glanced over at Spencer from the passenger's side. His fingers drummed against the steering wheel in a rhythmic pattern as he waited for the light to turn green. He stared straight ahead, almost as if he was trying to avoid looking her in the eyes.
"Sure," she said hesitantly. "Where are we going?"
Ever since they had come back from Quantico, he had been acting strange. First, he had insisted on driving to her apartment instead of taking the subway like they usually do. She had chalked that up to him wanting to be efficient with time. They had stopped at a nearby corner store and bought Caroline's favorite—chocolate peanut butter cupcakes. It took a whole lot less time to drive than it did to hop the metro.
But then there was the way he drove. Now, Dr. Spencer Reid was by no means a hazardous driver, but he was definitely being overly cautious. He was driving at least five miles below the speed limit and made a full stop at every yield and stop sign. He wouldn't look her in the eyes either, which is when she knew something was wrong.
"I just have to meet a friend."
"Oh, a friend? Who is it?"
"You—uh, you don't know him."
She arched her brow at him. With their job, they didn't have much time to socialize outside of work. The closest friends she had were the team and she knew that was the case for Spencer as well. Besides, if the young doctor had a male friend besides Derek, she would've heard about it long before now.
But she decided not to press him about it. If he wanted to talk, he'd talk. She wasn't going to force him to do something he didn't want to do.
"Okay."
Spencer must have heard the suspicion in her voice because he quickly interjected, "You know that Gideon was lying earlier about sending Bruno a postcard from the beach? He hates the beach."
She frowned at the young doctor now. He was trying to distract her.
"Beaches are for storming," she told him, watching his reaction carefully.
He just shrugged as he pulled the car to the curb. "Yeah, I guess."
Once they stopped, she looked out the passenger side window and frowned even deeper. "You're meeting your friend at a bar?"
"Yup."
She faced him as she retorted, "You don't drink."
"Who said I was?" The young doctor quipped as he unbuckled his seat belt. "I'll be right back."
"I—okay?"
Spencer slid out of the SVU and disappeared inside the bar. The place looked new with polished windows and freshly painted sign that read "95 Slide" in big gold letters above the door. The thing that made her the most uncomfortable, however, was the fact all the lights were off. Even the sign hanging on the back of the door showed a big frowny face beside the word "CLOSED" in bolded red lettering.
"What are you doing here, Spence?" Caroline murmured, more to herself than anything.
As each minute past, she began to get more and more nervous. He just said he had to meet a friend. That shouldn't take but a couple of minutes. After ten minutes had past and there was still no sign of Spencer, she decided she had to check on him. It was ten P.M. and he was meeting some unknown person in an abandoned bar.
It was too sketchy for her liking.
However, just as she hopped out of the car, Spencer exited the bar with a smile on his face. She huffed out a relieved breath.
"I was about to come in," she told him as he approached her. "I was getting worried."
"No need to be," he replied with an even bigger grin. She narrowed her eyes at him. "There's somebody I want you to meet."
"Is this your so-called friend?"
He reached into the car and picked up the tray of cupcakes from the center console. He shut the door and put his arm around her shoulder, guiding her to the door. "Uh-huh."
She eyed the cupcakes in his other arm and pouted. "Are you giving away my cupcakes?"
He chuckled at the look on her face. "I would never."
"Good. Because I plan on eating all of them."
Spencer opened the door to the bar for her, stepping aside to let her pass through. "I don't think that would blow over with everyone else."
She frowned as she stepped inside the pitch-black bar. "Everyone else? Why's it so dark in he—"
"SURPRISE!"
She squeaked and jumped back into Spencer's chest as the lights flickered on in the bar, revealing all the smiling faces that had been hidden in the dark. Derek, Garcia, Elle, and JJ stood behind the bar waving party streamers as they cheered. Hotch and Haley, with Jack in her arms, stood in front of the bar, laughing. Gideon, surprisingly, was smiling at her as he sat on one of the barstools. But her attention immediately focused on her family—Chris, Caitlin, Rebecca, Aunt G, and Cass—in the center of the room with large grins on their faces.
It was everyone she loved in one room.
"I—what's going on?" Caroline gasped in answer, once her heart stopped thudding in her chest.
"Happy birthday, Care-bear!" Garcia sang as she blew into her multi-colored party horn.
Everyone laughed at the tech analyst's chippy disposition. From the center of the room, her little sister whizzed across the room and ran into her legs, wrapping her arms tightly around them. Caroline scooped her up and planted a kiss on her forehead.
"Happy birthday!" Cass said, clapping her little hands together.
"Thank you, baby," she murmured to her little sister as she looked around the room.
Now that the initial shock was over, she was able to see her surrounds more clearly. The bar was decorated with multi-colored pastel streamers hanging from the bar and the walls. Green and yellow balloons covered the ceiling. On top of the bar sat a large chocolate-frosted cake with Happy Birthday Caroline!, sloppily written in white icing.
"Oh, my God," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "This is—wow."
"It was all Boy Genius's idea," Derek interjected from behind the bar.
Garcia smacked his arm and hissed at him, "We weren't supposed to say anything!"
Morgan rubbed his arm as he feigned being hurt. "What? I didn't know that."
Her sister squirmed in her arms. She carefully set her sister down as she turned to Spencer. "You did this?"
He nodded sheepishly as a light blush crept onto his cheeks. "I—I didn't know what to get you for your birthday. I thought the best gift I could get you is time with the people you love."
She felt the hot prick of tears form in her eyes. Spencer's eyes went wide and he began to backtrack. "Oh, you don't like it. I'm sorry, I just—"
She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, effectively cutting him off. After a moment, he returned her hug, squeezing tightly.
"This is the best present anyone could've ever gotten me," she whispered to him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he murmured, his breath gently blowing the hair on top of her head.
"Alright," Chris interrupted, his voice a little gruff, "let's get the party started, yeah?"
Spencer and Caroline pulled away from each other, both blushing like fools. The room laughed at their discomfort before celebrating.
They sat her down in front of the cake one of them had made. Derek placed a sparkly tiara on her head that had the words Birthday Princess engraved on it. She reminded herself that there were children in the room and refrained from flipping him off. He seemed to know how she felt about his gift by the look on her face because he laughed as Elle and JJ started to light the 23 candles lined around the cake.
Cass clambered onto her lap, watching the candle flames dance in front of her mystified face. She felt a hand rest gently on her shoulder to see Haley standing beside her. The blonde woman gave her a loving smile, her eyes glassy.
"Happy birthday, sweetheart," Haley told her before kissing her on the head. "Make a wish."
She swallowed as she faced the cake, shifting her little sister to sit on one leg. Before leaning forward, she glanced over at Spencer sitting beside her. He had the most-heart shattering grin on his face that melted her. She didn't know how he managed to do it, but all the memories about her birthday that she hated weren't surfacing. She felt happy—truly and completely.
She smiled back at the young doctor and thought, What more could I ever wish for?
Then, she leaned over a blew out the candles on the cake as everyone cheered and laughed. She was surrounded by the people she loved with everything in her. For once in six years, she was celebrating her birthday.
"Hey, Care, you're finally legal!" Derek teased Caroline, ruffling her hair. She stuck her tongue out at him. He chuckled.
JJ and Garcia cut the cake efficiently and began distributing the pieces out to everyone. For once, she was able to laugh and joke freely without anything holding her back. She felt normal, for once.
She took a picture with every single one of her family and friends—even Spencer, who had initially refused. She took one with her sisters and her brother and his soon-to-be wife. She held them tightly.
She danced with Garcia and JJ, twirling around with them, just because she could. Haley and Caroline had even managed to get Hotch to dance (even though it took a lot of persuading). Even Gideon was feeling the festive mood as he smiled and laughed at the antics of his coworkers. And when Cass had commented on how Spencer's hair looked like the hair of one of her dolls, she had laughed so hard that she cried.
Even if it was just for tonight, she was free. Happy. So, she danced and laughed and smiled with the people she loved all night long, savoring it.
Even when night turned into the early morning, she was still smiling.
➴ ➴ ➴ ➴ ➴ ➴
"You didn't have to drive me back, you know," Caroline said to Spencer as she quietly shut her apartment door behind her, trying to not disturb her neighbors.
It had been 3 A.M. when the two had finally tumbled out of the bar. Long after her family, Hotch, and Gideon had left, Derek and Elle had made shots for all of those remaining. While she and Spencer only had a couple, her friends had gone to town. It had taken an hour just to make sure everyone had a safe ride home.
"I know, I wanted to," Spencer told her as she hung her coat up. He glanced around her apartment with a frown on his face. "Where's Sherbert?"
"Oh, I gave him to Cass a couple of months ago," she told him as she made her way to the kitchen.
"What?" She heard the disbelief in his voice. "Why?"
"I wasn't here enough to take care care of him properly. I'm sure he's much happier with Cass to dote on him and a big yard to play in."
"But you loved that dog."
She laughed lightheartedly. "I do love him. But, in the end, staying with my family is what was best for him, Spence."
"Oh. I guess you have a point."
Spencer walked up to the island and watched as she danced around the kitchen getting things out of her cupboards. She noticed him watching at her and she stopped moving around to tilt her head at him.
"What?"
Then he gave her a smile that seemed so genuinely sweet and shy that a rush of warmth flooded through her. "I've never seen you this happy before."
She felt heat growing in her cheeks as she focused her eyes on the tile floor. She felt his gaze resting on her and that made her face feel even warmer. By now, she was sure her face was beet red.
It was ridiculous, really. A man looking her way made her blush, even the weight of his gaze made her blush. She felt like a teenager again—the unruly butterflies in her stomach flapping around wildly as her heart raced.
She glanced up, her eyes meeting his coffee brown ones. She smiled as she murmured, "Thank you for tonight. Really."
He held her gaze, his eyes dark. "You don't have to thank me. I would do anything for you."
Maybe it was the alcohol or the heat of his gaze, but she felt brave. She felt beautiful and strong and confident when she was with him—no longer an empty shell of a person. For a moment, she allowed herself to think that he liked her more than just a friend. She imagined that there was something between them that could never be broken and that if she kissed him, if she just let herself feel, everything would just melt away.
Without realizing it, she had leaned closer to Spencer. He had done the same, his long torso hovering over the counter as he stared into her wide-eyed gaze. They were so close now they were practically sharing breaths.
His gaze fixated on her lips as he murmured, "Caroline, I—"
She swallowed. "What?"
He bit his lips. They were a pale pink and unnaturally full. She remembered how soft they had been and she found herself craving that softness again. For once, she wanted to be touched. To be held. To be kissed.
Instead of answering, he started to lean forward. Her heart began to pound wildly in her chest. She gripped the counter in anticipation as she tilted her head and closed her eyes. Just as their lips were about to meet, her doorbell rang.
They jumped away as if they had been shocked. Her face was burning with heat and Spencer's was flushed, his eyes blown wide.
"I, uh—" Her mind went blank. She couldn't think of anything to say.
He gave her a sheepish smile, a faint blush brushing the tops of his cheeks. "I—I'm going to get the door."
She swallowed, running a jittery hand through her hair. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."
He gave her another one of his adorably shy smiles and her knees went weak. The moment he exited the kitchen, she let out a frustrated sigh. She cursed her doorbell and the person who rang it.
She quickly turned around and opened her cupboard, pulling out two wine glasses and a bottle of wine that Haley had gotten her for her twenty-first birthday. She was planning to save it for a special occasion, but she needed liquid courage right now.
She popped the cork with shaky hands as she heard her front door open. She filled the glasses about half-way with the red wine. She reached for her glass and took a large sip, trying to calm her nerves. When she heard the door close, she quickly pulled the glass from her lips.
When Spencer entered the kitchen, he presented her with a small white envelope. "You got mail."
She frowned as she took the letter from him. "Mail at this hour?"
He shrugged as he leaned on the counter beside her. He noticed the extra wine glass beside her and picked it up, starting to gulp it down.
"Slow down there, killer," she told him teasingly as she set her own glass down. He only made a noise in the back of his throat. She snickered.
She examined the letter, turning it over hands. There was no address on the back of the envelope or any postage stamp. It must have been hand-delivered, then. She carefully ran her finger under the flap of the envelope, tearing it open. She pulled out the letter nestled inside, running her fingers over it.
It felt like expensive stationery, thick and smooth. It was even embroidered on the outside with gold swirls. She reached for her glass of wine and she unfolded the letter, a frown on her face.
Her heart stopped when she read the first two words.
Her wine glass slipped through her fingers. She heard the sound of glass shattering, but she didn't move. The wine splashed all over the floor and onto her shoes but she stood absolutely still as her heart pounded violently in her chest.
Spencer set his glass down, his face alarmed. The moment he saw the blank, lifeless look on her face, he knew something was horribly wrong. He stepped over the spilled wine and gripped her shoulders.
"Caroline," he said, his voice panicked. "Care, what's wrong?"
She opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. She was frozen in fear, the note trembling in her hands. Her stomach clenched like she was about to vomit. She could feel nothing but blind, sheer terror as Spencer held her, trying to shake her out of it.
This couldn't be happening. No, not again. Not now.
"Call Hotch," she murmured to him, her voice raspy and brittle. Spencer tightened his grip on her arms.
"Care, what's going on? You're scaring me."
"I—" She sucked in a shaky breath. "I need to talk to Hotch. Please."
He slowly let go of her arms, his face unsure. "Okay. I'll call him."
As Spencer stepped out of the kitchen with his phone at his ear, she felt her heart plunge to her stomach. She resisted the urge to vomit on the tile.
He came back for her.
➴ ➴ ➴ ➴ ➴ ➴
Adaline posted.
I warned y'all that these next couple of chapters would be WILD. honestly, I don't even know if I'm ready. things are about to go from bad to worse.
thank you for all the support and love. it means so much to me!
love, Adaline
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