"I saw magic in his eyes. Dirty, dark, beautiful magic."

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Two weeks later

"You're not a danger, Hana. No human is, until they want to be one," Dr. Kim tells me as her soft eyes caress me with her warmth.

I look into her eyes too letting her words sink in. She is right. The part of me being dangerous is what i want myself to believe in but i know that i am not that, i can never be. Until i want to.

Dr. Kim smiles softly seeing me thinking about it. She's a licensed psychiatrist. And no doubt, she makes a very good therapist. She indeed made me feel like therapy isn't bad, it's just that not everyone can make you open up easily. Not everyone can be your therapist.

Today is my first session with her. So nothing big has happened till now. It was just introductory and i'm just trying to get comfortable for now.

We came to her yesterday too for medicine prescriptions. Yeah, we. Me and Jungkook.

It had been edgy when it comes to our relationship these days. I thought it would be awkward but it wasn't. I needed space, but was I provided with it? Not really.

Jungkook had made it his mission to stick by my side all the time. Dressing up my wounded hand, helping me in shower considering my hand didn't work properly, making food, watching TV, going to uni together and even watching him playing sports. He has stuck to me like my shadow.

Where i feel like i needed time for me to think and get on the same terms again, he has refused to give me the space.I'm kind of grateful too. The voice in my head has been resting only because Jungkook is around.

His presence makes it impossible for me to think more than required. I've known it from the very first day he barged into my life that this annoying voice dies down in his presence like magic. So, i think it's for better, and he knows it.

Right now during the session, he has accompanied me. He sat outside like he promised to me, waiting for me to be over with this. His schedule is always busy but i'm glad he takes his time out for me. 

I just hope this stays and won't vanish. I like it with him...

I smile in my thoughts and hear Dr. Kim's slight giggle, making my attention come back on her. 

"I hope you felt better talking, did you?" she asks, a smile still on her face as if she knew what i was thinking about.

"I did, thank you, Dr.Kim. Talking does help," i smile back.

"Hmm. During the weekdays when we don't have our session and you feel like talking out, do not hesitate with people around you. Saying the things in your head will help you feel relax. Talk to someone who makes you feel at ease," she concerns.

It helps, I understood it now. I have people who care about me but it's true that I hesitate, feel like a burden. But there's only one person who doesn't make me feel like it. Probably because he can read through my face that there's something going on in my mind.

The last few days, the way he took care of me, I know for sure that he doesn't feel like I'm a burden. He could've given up. It was so easy for him to just go. But he chose to stay.

Jungkook actually wants me to open up to him. It's just me who thinks like I'd just take unnecessary time of his.

"Yes, I will try," I assure her.

"I'm so glad that Jungkook is there with you. Considering that he has seen his mother go through something similar to this, I can tell that he understands," she looks at me with hopeful eyes.

"His mother had auditory hallucinations too?" I ask her, eyebrows pinching together. Jungkook never talked about this. Well, we never actually got enough time to just sit down and talk, to be honest. Reminds me of how less I actually know about him.

"Almost worse. Schizophrenia, but fortunately at its early stage when she was diagnosed," Dr. Kim answers.

Both the disorders are just as dangerous.

"It wasn't very difficult to get her back to normal, but Jungkook was in his early teens. Juri was just few months old. With Mr. Jeon busy with his work most of the time, even with cutting down his work hours he had so less time to spend with his wife. So, most of the responsibility came on Jungkook, " she smiles then continues.

" I've seen Jungkook play the role of a best son and a brother. He's a responsible kid, " she shakes her head slightly, remembering the days.

I think about Jungkook being in his early teens. Who knows what kind of kid he must be before he hit puberty? On top of that, it's really endearing to think of him with a newborn Juri.

I've never had a younger sibling. I've always wondered how it must feel like to have one and now picturing him with his little sister like that makes me feel warm in my chest.

I don't know what his mother must have gone through but Jungkook might have seen her episodes if she had any. It must've been so stressing for an early teen to take care of his family.

Jeons are filthy rich. They must've had many caretakers but seeing your mother is such situation, seeing your father feeling helpless and taking care of a newborn sister must've been tough.

He indeed had to be really responsible to take it all.

Dr. Kim starts with a smile, "I remember Hae Soo taking therapies from me, and becoming a very good friend of mine let me tell you."

I can feel excitement in her voice making me smile too as she continues.

"Jungkook would sit outside with little Juri in his hold and a bottle of warm milk for her during the whole session," she chuckles.

I grin imagining it all. It's so cute. I've never thought I'd find Jungkook cute, but right now I wanna squeal in cuteness just by imagining.

" It's adorable, "I say, through my smile.

"It sure is," she smiles back.

"Is she ok now? His mother?" I ask.

"Oh yes, perfectly fine. She had a very loving family. She would always say that communication is the key. And that's what I suggest you too, Hana."

I nod. I would try. It would take some time considering I've always been a listener and don't know how to give out my feeling properly. But I will try.

I have someone who will listen to me.

I smile.

" Yes, Dr. Kim. That's what I will do, "I assure her.

The alarm bell softly rings on her table and I know that my session has completed now. I look at the ringing bell until she presses the button on top of it.

Feeling way better than a few hours back, I get up. Resisting the urge to stretch my limbs, I pick my purse up from the chair adjacent to the one I was sitting on.

Dr. Kim stands up too to say goodbye to me until the next session arrives.

"Thank you, Dr. Kim. It was nice having this session with you. Lets meet next weekend," I bow to her.

She reciprocates the formalities and with a smile on my face, I turn around to leave the office of hers. I'm about to open the door when her voice stops me.

" Hana, " she calls me and I sense hesitation in her voice.

Turning around, I look at her.

"I've know not very much about Jeon's but I've known enough to know that Jungkook isn't a very compassionate person until it comes to his family, the ones he only care about."

"And I've seen him this worried after so long. It's like I saw the teen Jungkook again," she chuckles softly.

"what I'm trying to say is that that kid cares for you. I saw some negative tension between you two, thanks to all the years of experience," she gives an awkward smile and I lick my lips.

"But just know that he's there. I can see that he's willing to help and trust me, sometimes spending time with your Close ones makes life so easy. Talk with him. I know you will feel way better than talking with me," she gives a tight smile.

I gulp and then sigh. She's right. I've seen Jungkook struggling with me in these past few days. I hate how easily i give into my emotions but this time, my heart doesn't feel like letting this go.

He doesn't want to leave, himself. And i might be a little selfish to want him to never leave even when i end up being a danger to him. 

I nod, "Thank you, Dr. kim."

"My pleasure, dear. God bless you," she grins at me like some ray of sunshine and i smile back, tightly.

With a relieved exhale, i hold the knob of the door. Twisting it, i open the wooden door in front of me.

A strong force clashes against my torso, making me startle at my place as strong arms engulf me. A tall, huge and built body presses against me. The strong mint and spice cologne gives it away that it's Jungkook.

"I missed you, peach," he murmurs against my ear and i lazily smile while humming. My heart feels warm as i hug him back, liking his solace. I kind of love the clingy Jungkook.

He pulls away from me and looks down at my face. I so badly want to say that i missed him too, especially in the office where i went in with shaking limbs and nervous heart. Like it was the first time i was seeing a doctor. The way he has made me dependent on him in these past few days, i was craving his presence next to me.

But i couldn't say it because of too much going on in my brain. I've been a little indifferent towards him these few days, but i'm glad that he has stick to me like glue.

I'm glad that he isn't letting go and is staying.

"So how was it?" he asks me, his arms still wrapped around my body.

I look at his handsome face, feeling redness creep over my cheeks like always. His effect on me hasn't faded away even at the slightest.

"G-Good," i stutter and mentally cursed myself, further flushing in front of him.

A small smile plays on his beautiful pink lips. Just then i smell strong smell of roses. They whiff everywhere around me. Before i could ask, Jungkook leaves my body.

"Here," he shows me a bouquet of beautiful red roses. They're so many and their fragrance is so strong that i feel like my brain has been altered.

"To celebrate your first session," he says, his voice raspy and soft. I've never seen him being this soft with me. It's like he's handling a fragile glass when he's with me.

Though i love the care that he's providing me with, i kind of miss the spice we once had. Well, it isn't like he has stopped claiming my body every night altogether.

He hasn't given up on his practice of eating me out every morning, literally sucking the life out of me every time we are eating our breakfast. Even on my resistance, he doesn't stop. And everytime i cum loud and intensely, i feel grateful that he didn't stop when i told him to.

Me stopping him is out of moral, but we both know that i'm twisted in  head. Either way.

"Are these from your backyard?" i ask him, considering how i've seen him taking care newly planted flower bed behind his beautiful apartment.

"No, they've not bloomed yet. Got these from local flower shop while you were in there," he answers and stands a little away from me, making me despise the distance suddenly though it's just mere inches.

"Thanks," i smile, trying to lighten up the tension between us.

The man is trying! Besides it feels good to feel like i'm the centre of his attention.

He nods, smiling and slightest of dimple show on his one cheek looking adorable. Suddenly my mind wanders to the information about teen Jungkook i just got.

I contain the squealing and smile back. 

He breathes out, "OK so, let's go. I have something planned for us."

My eyebrows pinch together, "What is it?"

"you'll see," he winks and my heart fluttered.

Jungkook helps me in putting my warm coat on. It's autumn and it has been getting colder with each day passing and last thing i want is to fall sick a week before my birthday.

After i've put the coat on, Jungkook hands me the bouquet again while holding my purse in his one hand only. His other hand holds mine as we walk to the exit of the building. The car, his renovated McLaren, is parked in the lot.

Once we enter the car, i sigh out. I adjust myself in the seat, the soft freshener feels nice around. On top of anything the car is warm enough.

When we drive out of the parking lot, i'm feeling so light. Though there is silence in between us, but i don't feel any awkwardness. 

However, i want to talk. It's been weeks since i felt like i want to talk. I've been silent since the incident, speaking only when necessary. Though Jungkook stayed with me almost 24 hours a day, i still felt it too much of a hassle to speak with him, or any one.

But today, especially right now, i want to have some conversation with him. Only.

"So... How's stuff going in your gang?" i start, such a lame start.

"Hm, i adore your curious self, baby. Well, it usual. Deals and stuff," he answers.

I nod, so now what?

"Um, did you get anything about who sent the photo to me?" i ask. I've been discussing this with him since days and well, we haven't gotten anything worthy yet.

"Not really. We're trying to get the IP address of the email. Looks like someone who's damn professional is behind this. I have a person in my mind who might help, i'll have to clear my schedule for that," he states, reving up on the highway.

The bright lights of cars in front and around looks pretty. Due to autumn, there are so many dried leaves flowing around, falling down on the road and in the evening light, they look gorgeous. The colour of sunset enhances the beauty.

"Whoever that person is, is very powerful & has been eyeing on me since years so it has to be someone in the gang. Someone who has a motive behind keeping eye on my actions," he continues.

"You think it's Jae Sung?" i ask. I've been listening by him how Jae Sung always has people following him.

He shrugs," Could be."

I bite my lower lip, eating inside the words on the tip of my tongue.

Jungkook suspects Jae Sung but i suspect Mia. I have a great gut feeling about it. I've seen her eyeing me in college. I know Jungkook told me to stop overthinking about her. He specifically shows his authority over me when she's around, but she hates me. I can tell.

Her friend group looks at me with weird eyes. I've seen her looking at Jungkook with lustful eyes from afar. 

But i feel hesitant telling Jungkook about this. He would probably think of this as insecurity or maybe jealousy?

I am assuming, i know, but i don't want another woman to be the basis of our distance so i just bite it in.

"Communication is the key"

Dr. Kim's words echo in the mind again. I sigh softly. Mia is weird, her gaze makes me feel uncomfortable. But i don't think it's the right time today to talk about this. I've finally felt lightheaded after so long.

"Believe me, Hana," Jungkook speaks and i look at him, "When i'll know who did that, i'll kill them. Those men are already getting the punishment they deserve. The mastermind will only receive death."

His jaw ticks and i lick my lips. He sighs, then looks at me.

The men who were there when i drowned in the pool were prey to Jungkook's wrath.  Not only were they beaten to almost death, they had to leave the country forever.

Upon asking, they said that nothing was planned. They did whatever they did because i looked an easy prey to them. I came to know that these type of things might happen in such dangerous parties. Yeah, i shouldn't have gone.

I have no idea in what country they are right now, but Jungkook had made their lives worse there. They practically didn't get admissions in any universities out there, being drug addicts, they didn't get thier doses there easily and they won't ever be able to work in some big company even if they have so much amount of money to pay.

Their lives are ruined, and though i couldn't do anything to them. I still feel proud that Jungkook did it. I've never thought i could be this special for someone. It's nice to feel like this.

"Anyways, how was the session?" he asks, diverting the stressful topic.

"Nice. She said that i should speak out to you because you were there when your mom went through something similar," i answer.

"She told you that?" he chuckles.

"Yeah, she told me how your teen self used to wait outside her office with a few months old Juri in your hands," i say, then giggle at the cute imagery again.

"Hey! You're imagining me as a cute little teen, aren't you?"

"I mean it is adorable to think."

"There was nothing adorable about my fourteen-fifteen years old self. I wasn't even a virgin," he scoffs, a smirk on his lips.

My mouth falls open, eyes wide as i look at him. That can't be serious.

"What?! You're joking!" i exclaim, in disbelief.

He shrugs, "Except that i'm not."

"Please tell me it wasn't some adult woman," i ask, concerned.

"No, Someone from school, a year senior though same age as me. It was a mess," he shakes his head.

My eye twitches in jealousy.

"Where is she now?" i ask, slumping back on my seat, folding my arms in front of my chest and he scoffs

"How would i know?" he laughs out.

"She wanted to date me and i didn't do girlfriends," he clicks his tongue.

Didn't.

I smile.

"Damn. When i was fourteen, i was still making my dolls kiss each other."

He breaks out laughing. I smile and then start laughing with him. 

It feels good. So so good.

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Jungkook opens the door of the car for me and i step out. Cool air hits my bare legs under my bodycon dress, making goosebumps rise over my skin.

In front of me is Jungkook's apartment where i moved in just two days back, right after mid sems ended. I don't think  i'd have a good result because i couldn't study much. On top of that i was unwell. Physically, mentally and emotionally too.

My parents won't be happy with it and on top of that they would not like the fact that i didn't tell them anything about Jungkook. I'm thinking of doing that when i'd go meet them for my birthday. I'm still not ready on how to tell them about me re-starting therapy. I need time to think about it.

So right now, not to ruin my mood, I concentrate in the moment.

Jungkook told me that he had something planned for me. I've been thinking about what it must be on the whole ride to home. I think it's something inside his apartment.

"Come," he intertwines his fingers with mine. His hand feel so warm against my cold one and i have not so healthy thoughts about this.

I literally miss him. At nights, sometimes when he sleeps close to me, i silently pray for him to do things with me he would do in such situation.

I want to feel him on my skin again. It's been weeks since i lost my virginity to him and since then, i feel this emptiness inside me. This void to feel him inside me.

I sometimes ended up dreaming about him taking me roughly but then i wake leaving so much unsatisfied because it didn't happen in real life.

I'm glad he's giving me time on that, but eating me out every morning but not actually having sex with me has left me wanting for more every night when he's right beside me. When he's so close i can smell beneath his skin. But being a coward that i am, i could never voice it out.

Right now, as he takes me inside his apartment, my heart is beating furiously. I have no idea what he has in his Mind. I'm curious, and nervous. My cheeks redden.

Though i love surprises, i hate anticipation. A nightmare for someone with anxiety issues.

Once we're inside the warmth of his huge apartment, he helps he take my coat off. He holds the bouquet of fresh red roses from me to keep them on the side table of the entrance for me.

I'm constantly searching for something on Jungkook's face, but I can only see a sly smirk on his face like he's already proud of whatever he's going to show me.

He tugs me to move inside and I follow him, hand in hand.

As soon as we enter the living area, I gasp. My eyes shine with so many twinkles.

"Oh my holy mother," I sigh at the beautiful sight.

The dining table, which looked boring and usual everyday looks so shiny right now. There are candles on top of the table, they're lit up in golden light. The apartment is almost dark, the light of candles looks so soft in the area.

There's expensive cutlery there. Food isn't kept there yet, I suppose it's in the kitchen. But there are fruits, wine and a huge flower vase in the middle. The candles are kept in candle stands, the antique ones. So royal and exquisite.

This is like a dinner date, isn't it?

"You like this?" he asks as he goes behind me to hug me. His arms wrap around my smaller frame as he rests his head by mine.

"This is so beautiful, Jungkook. I can't believe this," I chuckle and then turn around in his arms to look at his face.

"I'm glad," he looks down at my face and says.

As I'm looking up at him, I feel softness in my heart, butterflies in my stomach and pure thought of intimacy in my brain.

Jungkook has owned me. It's a scary thought for someone with trust issues, but he's all around me. Even when I'm away, he's in my brain. I feel him on my skin, in my veins like some drug. And everyday with every damn intake, I get more addicted.

He has owned by body, my mind and well, he's on the way to my heart too.

It's a crazy realisation especially with  recent events going on, but it is what it is. I've known him more in these two weeks than months before.

I'm falling for him. For his care, his attention towards me and his understanding towards me. More importantly, him staying in my life even when he had chances and reasons to leave.

I'm still afraid of this all, but it feels too good to not let it happen.

I smile up at him and the way he's looking into my eyes, I know he can see what I'm thinking. I just hope he does. I hope he stays in my life forever.

"Jungkook I..." I whisper, still having double thoughts.

"Hm?" he asks, his one hand going to the back of my head, caressing my hair.

I gulp before saying, "I want you."

I look down at his chest, my cheeks blushing. It's so weird that I'm asking for it. I've never asked for it to him or anyone. He just always forces himself in my space.

The tension between us increases. I'm breathing more heavily than before, most of which is through my mouth with my lips parted. The silence eats me alive, yet I don't have it in me to look up at him.

I didn't need to when I feel the hand in my hair which was once softly caressing me harshly grabbing my hair. Jungkook tugs on my hair to make me look up at his face.

Pain surges from my scalp to my whole body. The sudden change in his demeanor raises goosebumps on my skin. I missed the roughness.

"Ah," I moan in pain.

I look into his hooded lust filled eyes now. Tears line my eyes as I ask him to do me like he wants to through my gaze. My hands clutch the front of his black t shirt tightly, wrinkling it.

"Is this what you want?" he asks me.

"Yes...," I whisper then whimper when he tugs me closer to him.

My heart starts beating in my throat as he loosens his grip on my hair, making me breathe in. Two big tears rolls down my cheeks, staining them az his eyes shine like a damn sadist he looks like.

His hand grabs my jaw softly as my tears stain his skin now. Bringing me closer to his face, he looks down at my puckered lips.

"You want me to fuck you, hm?" he asks again, not leaving any room for second doubts on my side.

I feel my skin getting sweaty with each second. The ache goes unbearable between my thighs. I want him to touch me there and stop it.

With shaking limbs and knees giving up to secure my weight, I nod.

His lips twitch in a slightest on smirk as he says, "Words, my slut."

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I'M GOING TO READ SO MUCH SMUT FROM NEXT CHAPTER! GRAB YOUR HOBI WATERS!!

~Aster🌸