「002. early bird gets the worm, then pecks everybody's eyes out 」

HOGWARTS NEEDED to get better at their timetables and file sorting. honey wondered what the were using currently, maybe some sort of god-awful medieval sorting system with some old crone in the corner, only ever knowing the pathetic files with bleary eyesight trying her best for who knows how long she'd been at this school. whatever prehistoric methods they were using, honey wanted to issue a formal complaint about it (that was a joke obviously, honey did not have the stomach for confrontation).

she had hoped maybe that this year, it would not happen. because surely- after two years, they would realise they'd need to distinguish the two of them? but as honey sat at the hufflepuff table in the morning, hair braided with little golden bands decorated within and her tye as smart as she could possibly stand with relatively neat uniform, she found hannah abbot passing her the wrong timetable.

obviously, this was not hannah abbots fault. and if anyone where to accuse her of such a thing, honey might threaten them if she was feeling particularly angry- and then reassure poor hannah she had nothing to do with the mixup.

you see, the name staring back at honey was in fact not hers and she was quite sure of it. for her name was definitely not leslie jr jordan.

"they've done it again," she sighed and hannah sent her a pitiful look. "they've given me lee's schedule."

"they really have to get better at their filing situation," hannah said sympathetically. "i'll save you a bit of toast if you want?"

"don't bother hannah," she told her, "i'll just go eat something at the gryffindor table. we're bound to have a lesson together. did you choose divinations or care of magical creatures as either of your electives?"

"i chose arithmancy, so i probably won't be in divinations with you," explained hannah cheekily, "but i have care of magical creatures after lunch. there's just one big group of us, i think. we can walk there after lunch?"

"sound like a plan," honey nodded, "excuse me whilst i torment my brother."

hannah laughed a bit, and a trace of a smile graced honey's lips for a moment. "torment away, honey."

"thank you, i will." she nodded, snatching a small pot of jam before getting up and quite literally walking a few steps before she flicked her brother in the back of his head. he jumped and then turned around- ready to probably hex somebody before he saw her. he rolled his eyes, a grumpy pout forming on his face. "schedule?"

"just like the last two years," she sighed, "budge up- will you? i'm fucking starving."

"you hate the jam at the gryffindor table," lee frowned.

"why'd you think i brought the apricot one from the hufflepuff table?" she scoffed like he was an idiot, snatching a piece of buttered toast and spreading the jam liberally across her toast.

"you're going to get diabetes one day," lee said.

"don't care," she shrugged, stuffing it savagely into her mouth and chewing quickly before wiping off the crumbs onto a napkin, inspecting her timetable. "is divinations easy? people are saying its an easy mark."

"dunno," said a new voice. the weasley twins sat themselves opposite to lee and honey. "never took it," george continued.

"what did you lot take, then?" honey accused.

"arithmancy and care of-"

"yes i know what you took, idiot." snapped honey, "i live with you, remember?" she looked over at fred and george, "i mean what did you two take? i thought divinations was right up your alley, what with the easy mark thing."

"actually, i'll have you know we both are taking alchemy and ancient runes," fred said in a poshed up voice.

"ancient runes? get out," she said, "you two have the stomach for that?"

"it's quite interesting," piped up a voice from the opposite side of lee- hermione, that was definitely her, "i have it this afternoon. it's supposed to be fascinating- i read ahead."

"yes- but that doesn't really correlate to the twins, does it?" honey snarked, "what're you planning to do with ancient runes?"

"wait and see, honey jordan. wait and see," george mysteriously replied- a disturbingly wicked look of pure evil genius in his eyes.

"suppose you know what the nutters are talking about then?" honey grumbled, shooting an evil eye at lee.

"no idea what you're talking about," lee shrugged innocently.

"what other lessons have you got?" hermione asked her, her head leaning almost into her food so she could look at honey. it was quite odd, honey had never met anybody who wasn't in hufflepuff that felt the urge to just talk to her. she was told by a lot of people she often looked quite intimidating (she blames it on her lapse of behaviour at times and her terrible sleep schedule).

"divinations, care of magical creatures and... alchemy."

"three?" hermione said brightly, "oh that's fantastic! i'm taking alchemy as well!"

"lovely," honey muttered, "terrific."

hermione hummed happily, sort of in a daze one would relate to being in love (but honey was rather sure this was just hermione's disturbingly large adoration for education. honey might not have known a lot about her- but she had a very good judge of character at times) before she snapped out of it, slapping somebody beside her, "ron stop eating so quickly, you're going to make yourself sick."

"you're not my mum, 'mione," grumbled ron. however, he listened to her and stared up at the person opposite him (who happened to be harry potter- why the fuck was he popping up all around honey? could she not escape him?), "harry- just ignore them."

honey wondered exactly what was happening until fred snorted, "don't worry about malfoy, harry. should've heard him yesterday."

"what do you mean yesterday, i heard nothing," interrupted honey, "and i was there-"

"afterwards, and besides- you were a bit... erm, out of it." fred said. "no- that little git- he wasn't so cocky last night whilst the dementors were down our end. i saw him running and bawling like a baby. practically wet himself, didn't he georgie?"

"as much as he is a prat, i can't blame people for being scared." george shrugged, "they're horrible things, those dementors..."

"freeze you from the inside," honey added, "bit shit to be honest- at least you lot didn't faint and stuff."

"it was terrifying," her brother said solemnly, "genuinely- i hate those dementors. heard that half the people in azkaban go mad because of them. they suck out the happiness in your body..."

"anyways, we'll see how happy that dick is after our first quidditch match," fred announced confidently, "gryffindor versus slytherin, first game of the season, remember?" the ginger twin sent a grin at honey, "you'll be supporting us, won't you honey? waving a big flag-"

"oh yes, totally," she replied sarcastically. weakly she pumped a fist in the air and said in a dead tone, "woooh. go gryffindors."

"that was weak. blimey, no love for us at all, hm? we've got a good team this year. wood panicked himself last year because katie had a bad accident, pretty unplayable and stuff- s'alright though, we got a new chaser now! he's- oh look, there he is! OI! SASUKI!"

"yeah?" came a voice.

"come here, you git-" fred managed to yell, he turned back to honey, still gesturing to who-knows to come over. he grinned, "he's dead good, y'know. wood nearly started sobbing last year when we held tryouts because of katie's injury because he could do- ah! here he is!"

honey was not enjoying herself. not because she was grumpy and annoyed that gryffindor had a new chaser. she'd seen the way katie had messed up her leg- care of magical creatures incident. she mostly saw it because she'd been asked to pass a message onto hagrid about a pest in the greenhouse last year, then saw that horrifying twist and snap-

"ah- tates!"

starring up honey was one familiar person- and then quite frankly, a giant. ok- exaggeration. the guy in question was somebody honey knew to be named kai. judging by most things, she guessed sasuki was probably his last name. tall and gangly, he sent a quick smile at fred. he looked nice enough, not some demonic and evil prick when you looked at him usually. dressed in annoying gryffindor robes done up neatly, he had his hands shoved into his trouser pockets. she knew of him, but she didn't know him from mundane things. no, she knew him because the girl next to him was her childhood best friend.

or, ex best-friend (but that sounds terrible and simply stupid).

emery tates was a force to be reckoned with in her own right. regardless of how stupidly annoying and stubborn and unreasonable she could be- the unfortunate truth was most of hogwarts that knew her was quite friendly with her.

her dyed red hair looked startled by wind, cheeks red and eyes a subtle blue colour. do not be fooled by her height comparison against average sized people- she was completely faking the height for she always adorned herself with platformed shoes (which must have hurt. she deserved it). not only an inquisitive and studious ravenclaw (up there in the top of their year in charms) but what some disillusioned first years called an 'angel'.

honey thought she was a demon sent from hell living in human skin. it was all up for debate.

"ah yes- tates," honey repeated. she let her eyes drag to kai, "sasuki."

he tried to give this sort of intimidating face which crashed and burned quite quickly against her glare as she took another bite of her toast.

"he's gonna give angie a run for her money," grinned george like an excited child, "but, er- don't tell her i said that."

"aw, thanks." laughed kai awkwardly, doing that weird thing guys do where they put their hand on the back of their neck- somehow making them look super friendly. it was fucking annoying. "i'm surprised oliver let me on the team."

"nonsense, you're a fantastic quidditch player," the angel-faced hellion (going under a human disguise of emmery tates) cut in.

"word has it that you're a good quidditch player too," cut in fred. "bit barmey not to join your team- but thanks for making sure we win."

"i don't care for it," shrugged emmery in this stupid and annoying sort of 'oh i'm so nice and polite i'm agreeable and lovely' way that was so fucking fake! "anyways-" emmery glanced at her, and the girls gazed hardened, "kai and i are off to get our schedules."

"oh hold on- here's yours, mate." fred cut in, handing kai a piece of parchment, "happy schedule reading!"

the moment honey was sure they where out of ear-shot, honey snarled, "fucking bitch."

"merlin's grave- that was a bit full-on, wasn't it?" muttered ron. honey's head snapped towards him and he looked down at his plate, picking at it as if he'd said nothing.

"she didn't seem that bad," commented harry bloody potter (she was going to scream like a crazed fan- but merlin he was quite fit, wasn't he? all things considered of course. in a very objective manner. maybe it was his eyes- they were quite green and pretty).

honey rolled her eyes, shoving the last bit of toast in her mouth before she said, "she's a right bitch and an opportunistic scum who leaves her friends at the first chance when things go wonky."

"well," cut in lee, "it wasn't totally like that. you were being a bit harsh on her last summer because of-"

"i'm off to divinations," she snapped, slamming her hands on the table and standing up abruptly.

"honey, come on! look-" began her brother, "you've got twenty minutes until lessons, what're you going to do? i'm sorry, alright? i-"

"- the early bird gets the worm, leslie." she snapped viciously, "and then it pecks everybody's eyes out."

she stomped off quickly. but not quick enough to hear the distinct voice of ron say, "blimey lee- your sister's a bit much, isn't she?"

to answer lee's pathetic attempt of trying to keep her to stay because she was, as she knew most would say, 'being difficult': there was nothing you could do in the twenty minutes before divinations, because by the time honey had practically made a procession around the castle, she only had a minute to spare as she climbed up the ladder to the classroom.

quite frankly, it was the strangest looking classroom she'd ever seen. it didn't really look like a classroom either, more like a cross between an attic and an old fashioned tea shop that smelled a bit to strong and felt a bit too warm. at least twenty small, circular tables were crammed inside it, all surrounded by chintz armchairs and fat little poufs. everything was lit with a dim, crimson light; the curtains at the windows were all closed, and the many lamps were draped with dark red scarves.

the shelves looked old and dusty, with random ornaments scattered on them. she stood round, a little confused as to where their teacher was. she wasn't the only one, obviously, because the rest of the class where wondering that too.

a voice came suddenly out of the shadows, a soft, misty sort of voice.

"welcome," it said. "how nice to see you in the physical world at last."

honey scrunched up her face, a mix between confusion and is this actually happening. professor trelawney moved into the firelight, and they saw that she was very thin; her large glasses magnified her eyes to several times their natural size, and she was draped in a gauzy spangled shawl. innumerable chains and beads hung around her spindly neck, and her arms and hands were encrusted with chunky rings.

"sit, my children, sit," she said, and they all climbed awkwardly into armchairs or sank onto beanbags.

honey found herself sat next to a pair of boys she knew to be neville longbottom and (unfortunately), kai sasuki. they both neither seemed simply enthralled by the idea of divinations nor drawn to the idea of hating it.

honey was still quite neutral, though the whole 'dazed and simply above you blind mortals unknown to the godly seeing beings such as i' act that professor trelawney was putting on was definitely pushing her to sort of hate what was happening.

"welcome to divination," said professor trelawney, who had seated herself in a winged armchair in front of the fire. "my name is professor trelawney. you may not have seen me before. i find that descending too often into the hustle and bustle of the main school clouds my inner eye."

honey didn't like the smell of this place, it muddled with her head too much.

professor trelawney delicately rearranged her shawl and continued, "so you have chosen to study divination, the most difficult of all magical arts. i must warn you at the outset that if you do not have the sight, there is very little i will be able to teach you... books can take you only so far in this field..."

"many witches and wizards, talented though they are in the area of loud bangs and smells and sudden disappearances, are yet unable to penetrate the veiled mysteries of the future," professor trelawney went on, her enormous, gleaming eyes moving from face to nervous face.

"it is a gift granted to few. you, boy," she said suddenly to neville, who almost toppled off his beanbag had kai not suddenly pushed him back on. "is your grandmother well?"

"i think so," said neville tremulously.

"i wouldn't be so sure if i were you, dear," said professor trelawney, the firelight glinting on her long emerald earrings.

neville gulped.

honey scrunched her nose up- no, she certainly did not like the smell of this place.

professor trelawney continued placidly. "we will be covering the basic methods of divination this year. the first term will be devoted to reading the tea leaves. next term we shall progress to palmistry. by the way, my dear," she shot suddenly at parvati patil, "beware a red-haired man."

parvati gave a startled look at ron, who was right behind her and edged her chair away from him.

"in the second term," professor trelawney went on, "we shall progress to the crystal ball — if we have finished with fire omens, that is. unfortunately, classes will be disrupted in february by a nasty bout of flu. i myself will lose my voice. and around easter, one of our number will leave us for ever."

she did not just insinuate somebody would die, honey said, she didn't just do that, what a-

"my dear, your aura is pulsing!" professor trelawney suddenly gasped, clutching honey's shoulders making her eyes go wide (more so with a mix of disgust and confusion than out of fear of being startled). "is your mind well, my child- what powers do lie beneath you?"

"erm- no?" she replied.

she tutted, as if honey was fooling herself. she strode away, a very tense silence followed by both the previous comments. but professor trelawney seemed simply unaware of it.

"i wonder, dear," she said to lavender brown, who was nearest and shrank back in her chair, "if you could pass me the largest silver teapot?"

avender, looking relieved, stood up, took an enormous teapot from the shelf, and put it down on the table in front of professor trelawney.

"thank you, my dear. incidentally, that thing you are dreading — it will happen on friday the sixteenth of october."

lavender trembled.

"now, i want you all to divide into pairs. collect a teacup from the shelf, come to me, and i will fill it. then sit down and drink, drink until only the dregs remain. swill these around the cup three times with the left hand, then turn the cup upside down on its saucer, wait for the last of the tea to drain away, then give your cup to your partner to read. you will interpret the patterns using pages five and six of unfogging the future. i shall move among you, helping and instructing. oh, and dear,"

— she caught neville by the arm as he made to stand up, "after you've broken your first cup, would you be so kind as to select one of the blue patterned ones? i'm rather attached to the pink."

sure enough, neville had no sooner reached the shelf of teacups when there was a tinkle of breaking china.

professor trelawney swept over to him holding a dustpan and brush and said, "one of the blue ones, then, dear, if you wouldn't mind... thank you..."

"she's..." trailed off kai.

"fucking weird," mumbled honey- an uncomfortable itch settling on her body. she was starting to believe trelawney was a bit mad. she was certainly unsettling to honey.

when the three of them at the table had their teacups filled, they went back to their table and tried to drink the tea quickly. honey swilled the dregs around as their teacher had instructed, then drained the cups.

"just pass it on, i guess." kai advised.

"pass the parcel with tea of doom," muttered honey unhappily, snatching kai's mug and reading it with a squinted eye, referring back to her book every so often.

"well, what's my future?" neville asked nervously, looking at kai.

kai frowned, "you've got these little weird bumpy bits. lots of soggy leaves- erm... says something about challenges? uh... and this sort of wonky cross thing. so- trials and suffering."

"oh great," neville said gloomily.

"honey, right?" kai asked. like you didn't know my name already you deceiving little- "what's mine say?"

honey had wanted to make up something stupid- maybe something like you're going to die painfully and i will prance upon your body with glee or you're going to get your head lopped off in a quidditch game- but she found herself blurting out another set of words.

"shark's are a danger of death, you got one there. um, apples mean a long life which is good for you, i guess. there's a cow and a castle-"

"what-"

"uh, since they're next to each other and nearly touching, i'm going to assume they're linked. the cow is for prosperity and the castle is for, like, an unexpected thing. so, uh- i'm guessing there's gonna be death- but it's ok because you've got apples and there's going to be an unexpected thing that leads to prosperity." she looked up, two sets of eyes shocked at her words.

(perhaps her own as well- because what the fuck did she just say?)

"jesus," muttered kai, "death?"

"better than mine," neville moaned miserably. he looked to honey, "d'you want to know yours?"

"sure," she shrugged, not really bothered.

"erm... ok- so there are these... blobs-" neville peered into his book, "daggers? lines? that says it means you have help from friends and there's this-"

"-but everyone knows that," hermione's distinct voice cut through.

neville stopped, as did most the class, as they stared at the scene unfolding.

"well, they do, professor," hermione said tartly. "everybody knows about harry and you-know-who."

"she's never done that before," neville whispered quietly with kai nodding with him.

professor trelawney chose not to reply. she lowered her huge eyes to harry's cup again and continued to turn it. "the club... an attack. dear, dear, this is not a happy cup..."

"i thought that was a bowler hat," said ron sheepishly.

"the skull... danger in your path, my dear..." everyone was staring, transfixed, at professor trelawney, who gave the cup a final turn, gasped, and then screamed. there was another tinkle of breaking china; neville had smashed his second cup out of pure surprise.

professor trelawney sank into a vacant armchair, her glittering hand at her heart and her eyes closed. "my dear boy — my poor dear boy — no — it is kinder not to say — no — don't ask me..."

"she's having a fucking laugh," muttered honey, feeling uncomfortable simply watching this overdramatic ploy unfold.

"what is it, professor?" said dean thomas at once.

everyone (yes, even her. just- colour her curious, okay?) had got to their feet, and slowly they crowded around harry and ron's table, pressing close to professor trelawney's chair to get a good look at harry's cup.

"my dear," professor trelawney's huge eyes opened dramatically, "you have the grim."

"the what?" said harry.

"the grim, my dear, the grim!" cried professor trelawney, who looked shocked that harry hadn't understood. "the giant, spectral dog that haunts churchyards! my dear boy, it is an omen — the worst omen — of death!"

honey felt a bit sick.

"a dog." she said, not meaning to say it out loud. "what kind?"

trelawney stared at her, as did most of the class.

"sorry my dear, what?"

"i said what kind of dog," she said dryly, a bit irritated at the eyes on her. "cocker spaniel... german shepherd... a crup, maybe? what kind of dog? is it a big black dog snarling? growling? howling? is it small? what kind of dog?"

"it is not simply a type of dog," professor trelwney said in an aghast voice as if honey had just clubbed a couple unicorns, "it is an omen of death!"

"right," hermione scoffed, "well it doesn't look like one."

professor trelawney surveyed hermione with mounting dislike. "you'll forgive me for saying so, my dear, but i perceive very little aura around you. very little receptivity to the resonances of the future."

seamus finnigan was tilting his head from side to side. "erm, it looks like a grim if you do this," he said, with his eyes almost shut, "but it looks more like a donkey from here," he said, leaning to the left.

"are we going to be spending the rest of the lesson deciding if i die or not?!" snapped harry, looking to have taken himself by surprise.

"i think we will leave the lesson here for today," said professor trelawney in her mistiest voice. "yes... please pack away your things..."

silently the class took their teacups back to professor trelawney, packed away their books, and closed their bags.

"until we meet again," said professor trelawney faintly, "fair fortune be yours. oh, and dear," — she pointed at neville, "you'll be late next time, so mind you work extra-hard to catch up."

she stuffed her quill back into her bag, pearing once more at harry's shattered tea-cup on the floor. thought the rest had chipped into small pieces, the 'grim' stood proudly. ears pointed and a long looking nose- a flash went through her mind.

a dog snarling- the howls, the barks, the scream-

it was like she was back with that dementor all over again.

scream, cries, wind, hooves-

"my dear? your aura- it is erratic." trelawney's misty voice called. "are you well, my child?"

"uh... yeah," she said, strangely quiet, "yes. i'm fine, yes. i'll just-"

"you should centre yourself," trelawney advised, "i am always free after lunch, my child. your aura..."

when the transfiguration class had finished, they joined the crowd thundering toward the great hall for lunch. a stampede of gryffindor's barged in, racing for their table and stumbling to seats with enthusiasm for a break from learning.

"ron, cheer up," said hermione, pushing a dish of stew toward him. "you heard what professor mcgonagall said."

ron spooned stew onto his plate and picked up his fork but didn't start. "harry," he said, in a low, serious voice, "you haven't seen a great black dog anywhere, have you?"

"yeah, i have," said harry. "i saw one the night i left the dursleys'."

ron let his fork fall with a clatter.

"probably a stray," said hermione calmly.

ron looked at hermione as though she had gone mad. "hermione, if harry's seen a grim, that's — that's bad," he said. "my — my uncle bilius saw one and — and he died twenty-four hours later!"

"coincidence," said hermione airily, pouring herself some pumpkin juice.

"you don't know what you're talking about!" said ron, starting to get angry. "grims scare the living daylights out of most wizards!"

"there you are, then," said hermione in a superior tone. "they see the grim and die of fright. the grim's not an omen, it's the cause of death! and harry's still with us because he's not stupid enough to see one and think, right, well, i'd better kick the bucket then!"

ron mouthed wordlessly at hermione, who opened her bag, took out her new arithmancy book, and propped it open against the juice jug.

"i think divination seems very woolly," she said, searching for her page. "a lot of guesswork, if you ask me."

"there was nothing woolly about the grim in that cup!" said ron hotly.

a loud stomp was heard as a rather unimpressed bunch of ravenclaws and hufflepuffs made their way into the hall. harry's eyes watch them, the muted arguing of his friends drowned out as he watched them all return to their house tables. a blur of yellow swooped past his eyes, sitting herself down next to hannah abbot (who'd been in the hall even before the running procession of gryffindors) who laughed at something she was doing.

"mate? what's wrong?" ron cut in, snapping harry out of his daze, "who you staring at?" he turned around, looking behind him before hermione forced him to turn back around.

"it's lee's sister," hermione answered correctly. "honour jordan."

"i thought she was called honey?" ron frowned

"a nickname. you know we've had herbology with her since first year?"

"uh... no?"

"it's strange," harry mumbled, still looking at her. "she was talking about dogs."

"oh not this again," hermione groaned. "you cannot be this paranoid, harry! nothing good comes from that! besides, you're stressing yourself out far too much about this... grim thing. it's not true- and dogs can hardly connect to an omen of death." she said the last words in a mocking tone.

"big black dog. snarling. barking, howling." harry repeated her words, "she said that in divinations."

"it's just a coincidence." hermione said, brushing it off easily. "you have no proof that they're correlated."

"proof? is the grim not good enough for you, hermione?" ron challenged hotly.

"unless i see concrete evidence, this is a load of wishy-washy bullshit," hermione concluded, snapping her book shut as she took a sip of pumpkin juice.

harry stared at the back of the girls head, and couldn't shake the sense that maybe she knew something they didn't.

honey knew nothing.

as in, honey knew nothing of how care of magical creatures would, unfortunately, pan out. she'd expected such a simply little lesson that she'd have regardless been excited for. honey didn't get overly excited about many things. but one of the rare few had to quite possibly be care of magical creatures- and magical creatures in general. they where a fascinating sort and in honey's child-like wonder as a young child, she'd had picture books of possibly any and every magical animal. when her grandmother had given her an antique version of fantastic beasts and where to find them as a child, it had sparked what she was sure was to be a lifelong wish to work with them one day.

she was positively sure that some people thought she was a bit of a maniac at this moment in time. because she hadn't stopped smiling since she arrived at hagrid's hut with a few other hufflepuffs. mixes from all the houses could be seen. a large gaggle of gryffindors coming down the hill, followed by a few ravenclaws who weren't here already (honey could practically smell the demon and gryffindor puppy approaching) with some slytherins lurking around too.

hagrid lumbered out, staring at the trailing students walking down the hill.

"c'mon, now, get a move on!" he called as the class approached. "got a real treat for yeh today! great lesson comin' up! everyone here? right, follow me!"

for one nasty moment, honey thought that hagrid was going to lead them into the forest. however, hagrid strolled off around the edge of the trees, and five minutes later, they found themselves outside a kind of paddock. there was nothing in there.

"everyone gather 'round the fence here!" he called. "that's it — make sure yeh can see — now, firs' thing yeh'll want ter do is open yer books —"

"how?" said the cold, drawling voice of draco malfoy.

"eh?" said hagrid.

"how do we open our books?" malfoy repeated. he took out his copy of the monster book of monsters, which he had bound shut with a length of rope. honey thought that was a bit dramatic.

other people took their books out too. some, like honey, had belted their books shut so the little things didn't stage a revolt against them (which of course would end with them eating theri owners alive). others had crammed them into tight bags or clamped them together with bing clips.

"hasn' — hasn' anyone bin able ter open their books?" said hagrid, looking crestfallen.

the class all shook their heads.

"yeh've got ter stroke 'em," said hagrid, as though this was the most obvious thing in the world. "look —" he took hermione's copy and ripped off the spellotape that bound it. the book tried to bite, but hagrid ran a giant forefinger down its spine, and then fell open and lay quiet in his hand.

"oh, how silly we've all been!" malfoy sneered. "we should have stroked them! why didn't we guess!"

"i — i thought they were funny," hagrid said uncertainly to hermione. honey frowned.

"oh, tremendously funny!" said malfoy. "really witty, giving us books that try and rip our hands off!"

"shut it," she snapped, turning round to him. "stop being a prick, malfoy."

"shut up- half-blood."

"ignore him, honey." hannah said quietly, gently turning honey around (who seemed to have frozen herself to stare at malfoy with her evillest and most scary glare).

"righ' then," said hagrid, who seemed to have lost his thread, "so — so yeh've got yer books an'... an'... now yeh need the magical creatures. yeah. so i'll go an' get 'em. hang on..." he strode away from them into the forest and out of sight.

"god, this place is going to the dogs," said malfoy loudly. "that oaf teaching classes, my father'll have a fit when i tell him —"

"shut up, malfoy," harry sighed.

"careful, potter, there's a dementor behind you —"

"oooooooh!" squealed lavender brown, pointing toward the opposite side of the paddock. trotting toward them was a dozen of the most bizarre creatures that honey had the happiness of saying she in fact knew where hippogriffs.

they had the bodies, hind legs, and tails of horses, but the front legs, wings, and heads of what seemed to be giant eagles, with cruel, steel-colored beaks and large, brilliantly, orange eyes. the talons on their front legs were half a foot long and deadly looking. each of the beasts had a thick leather collar around its neck, which was attached to a long chain, and the ends of all of these were held in the vast hands of hagrid, who came jogging into the paddock behind the creatures.

"gee up, there!" he roared, shaking the chains and urging the creatures toward the fence where the class stood. everyone drew back slightly as hagrid reached them and tethered the creatures to the fence.

"hippogriffs!" hagrid roared happily, waving a hand at them. "beau'iful, aren' they?"

honey grinned like a child in a sweet shop.

"so," said hagrid, rubbing his hands together and beaming around, "if yeh wan' ter come a bit nearer..."

"c'mon," honey said, trying to keep her excitement, as she tugged on hannah's sleeve, "let's go closer!"

"honey, i really think-"

honey pulled her forward regardless.

"now, firs' thing yeh gotta know abou' hippogriffs is, they're proud," said hagrid. "easily offended, hippogriffs are. don't never insult one, 'cause it might be the last thing yeh do."

"yeh always wait fer the hippogriff ter make the firs' move," hagrid continued. "it's polite, see? yeh walk toward him, and yeh bow, an' yeh wait. if he bows back, yeh're allowed ter touch him. if he doesn' bow, then get away from him sharpish, 'cause those talons hurt. right — who wants ter go first?"

most of the class backed farther away in answer.

honey couldn't have shot her hand up faster.

"brilliant, honour!" hagrid roared happily. "up yeh get, up-" she looked back at hannah, spotting a red head not too far behind. regardless, she gave a little thumbs up to hannah before turning around and practically skipping towards hagrid.

"right then — let's see how yeh get on with buckbeak."

he untied one of the chains, pulled the gray hippogriff away from its fellows, and slipped off its leather collar. the class on the other side of the paddock seemed to be holding its breath.

"easy now, honour," said hagrid quietly. "yeh've got eye contact, now try not ter blink... hippogriffs don' trust yeh if yeh blink too much..."

honey kept her eyes fixed, watching the hippogriff buckbeak with curious eyes.

buckbeak had turned his great, sharp head and was staring at harry with one fierce orange eye. "tha's it," said hagrid. "tha's it, honour... now, bow."

although maybe a little bit nervous (this was her first time next to an animal. she wasn't totally as brave and stupid as those gryffindors!), she let herself bow slightly before looking up.

buckbeak didn't move.

"ah," said hagrid, sounding worried. "right — back away, now, honour, easy does it —" but then, to her enormous surprise, the hippogriff suddenly bent its scaly front knees and sank into what was an unmistakable bow.

"well done!" said hagrid, ecstatic. "right — yeh can touch him! pat his beak, go on!"

honey took a step towards buckbeak, the hippogriff trilling and making odd noises. she put a tentative hand towards the hippogriff, patting it several times- the hippogriff closed its eyes lazily, as if it was enjoying it.

littered applause came from behind her, but she kept staring at buckbeak with a little grin.

"i reckon he migh' let yeh have a fly with him!" hagrid announced.

"er- hagrid," she said, "um- maybe not?"

"he's not gonna hurt yeh, honour. i assure yeh that. you've done the hardest part already!"

"um... i don't know- you sure? it looks a bit..."

"nonsense, it's good fun. yeh climb up there, jus' behind the wing joint," said hagrid, "an' mind yeh don' pull any of his feathers out, he won' like that..."

seeing as she had no choice, she put her foot on the top of buckbeak's wings and hoisted herself onto its back. buckbeak stood up and honey's eyes widened just a bit in alarm.

"go on, then!" roared hagrid, slapping the hippogriffs hindquarters.

without warning, twelve-foot wings flapped open on either side of honey, she had barely any time left before the hippogriff suddenly soared upwards. it wasn't necessarily terrifying (honey wasn't exactly afraid of heights), but the movements where bumpy and made her just a little green. that, however, was easily overpowered with the fact that honey was still in awe at what was happening.

her first care of magical creatures lesson and she was already riding a hippogriff!

just wait until lee and nan hear about this! she thought to herself, already planning what she'd owl to her nan's house (she would have owled her parents. but these days, all they ever did was argue. she doubted either would read it with all the shouting that was going on). she was so distracted by the list of contents she was going to put into the letter that she hardly realised buckbeak had landed.

she slipped off, the once littered claps a bit more in unison as she took one more glance back at the hippogriff and boweed once more before moving back to hannah, who seemed a bit more comfortable to the idea of the oddly alluring creature.

malfoy was the biggest stick in the mud honey had ever had the displeasure of existing with. practically everything had went fine until draco stupid malfoy had decided to toally disregard hagrid's advice (as if he knew better! he was quite literally a blonde idiot who didn't have any experience) and gone and insulted buckbeak! he'd royally screwed up what was supposed to be a fantastic lesson, and after seeing hagrid not show up for dinner at the great hall- honey felt an obligation to tell him his lesson was fantastic.

this wasn't something honey usually did. she wasn't really somebody who conversed with teachers a lot (unless you counted professor sprout and madame pomfrey), and usually just kept to herself unless she had a question about something in class that probably would take up too much time.

still, she ate her food quickly, leaving to march down to the hut. she hadn't been there much, only once to pass a message onto him, but judging from the light that was on- she assumed he was there. not having friends seemed to give her the freedom to do ridiculous things and not have anybody tell her what she was doing was in fact ridiculous.

a loud thump sounded and the door opened unceremoniously to reveal hagrid.

"honour?" he said, "what're yeh doin' here? it's late-"

"i just wanted to say," she said quickly, "um- this is really weird. but i thought your lesson was great, hagrid." she nodded to herself, seeming a bit more determined now, "don't let malfoy bring you down. i know he said he was going to go tell his father but that's a load of rubbish! even if he does, you haven't done anything wrong!"

hagrid smiled sadly at her, "ah- thank yeh, honour. don' mind me, bit of a sop sometimes."

"it's alright," she said, "malfoy had no right to go off and say that- the book talks about everything you said. if he'd listened and read he would've known."

"yeh read the book?" he asked brightly.

"after you told us how to open it without it biting us, yeah." she nodded, "i've always wanted to become a magizoologist, so this was a really cool lesson." she looked around, still standing by the door. "um, it's getting dark. i should go, but it was a really good lesson hagrid! honest!"

he laughed, though it seemed a bit strained, "come back anytime! i might have a few books yeh might like. magizoology an' that."

she grinned, waving her final goodbye before marching back up the hill to the castle.

what she hadn't realised when looking around (though it was hardly possible unless you had superhuman vision) was that a trio had been staring curiously down at the figure walking away from hagrid's hut all the way from gryffindor tower.

early bird gets the worm, then pecks everybody's eyes out, her voice rang in harry's mind. could she get any stranger?

rosie speaks!

somebody tell me to stop posting and
study for my mocks i'm going to fail.
idk why i'm posting when i know i'm meant
to be studying but have this regardless.
it's not my best but i like the banter and
the dynamics introduced. we'll get to  the good
stuff very soon !! a very brief intro to kai
but you'll be seeing him more.

decide for yourselves if you like emmery
and kai it's complicated tbh.

ok cool ily !!

thoughts my loves ???

word count: 7,001 words