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I wake up in the hospital, my face hurts along with me stomach. I blink a couple of times before turning my head and seeing my mother crying. She's crying so hard I can see her body shaking viciously. She knows I'm okay.. right? I blink for a while more before I fall back asleep, unable to stay awake for a certain amount of time. I haven't seen my mother cry so much since...
**
• Nine Years Ago •
I stare at my shoes as my father yells at me, "I told you not to touch my things in my office!!" He yells at the top of his lungs, the vein popping out on his neck. I dare not to look at him. "I'm sorry Appa!!" I tremble as I'm on the verge of tears. I had only slightly moved the stapler on the desk, and this is what it resolved in. "Give me your hand!" My infuriated father yells. I raise my hand up, and he grips my wrist before he smacks the back of my hand with all his force. My legs shake as I try my best not to scream from the pain, I jump side to side on my feet.
Tears running from my eyes. "Don't cry, it's your own fault. You know that you're not allowed in my office." My father tells me coldly. I quickly wipe my tears away and keep my head down. "Ah.. it's going to be hard for you when I leave... isn't it?" I don't really understand him. Leave? Is he going on a trip without me? Why can't I go with him? When will he be back? He sets his hand on my head and lightly ruffles it. He then picks his hand up and I'm surprised when his hand flies across the side of my head, tossing me to the floor.
I don't understand for the most part as to why my father hits me, but I'm sure he has his reasons. I wonder if he loves me, or if he cares about me. Maybe because I'm at an awkward stage in my life and hairstyle where I look like a coconut? I really don't know.. all I ever want to hear father say is that he loves me. But those words.. I don't think he'd be capable of saying, because he doesn't love me. "Say your last goodbyes to your brother... you won't be seeing him anymore." He growls at me before walking out of the living room. I stare into space, my tears slowly falling down my cheeks.
My older and only brother walks in, peering over me, he has a disgusted look on his face. "You're the reason why Appa doesn't love Eomma anymore." Not telling me nice words. So this is all my fault, the reason why my father doesn't want to be with my mother.. is because of me. He then just simply walks away. I stare into space. "No!!! NO!!! Don't go!!" I hear my mother screaming at the top of her lungs. "Get off of me." I stand up and run towards the sound of my mother yelling. "None of this is your business!" I hear my brother as he pushes me with all his weight and I go flying onto the floor.
My head bangs against the hardwood floors, rattling my brain. The air is knocked out of me, I gasp and wheeze as I try to get my breath back. It slowly but surely comes back, I still feel a bit dizzy. My brother stands over me, "I hate you." He tells me. His eyebrows knit and he looks down at me in disgust like I'm some sort of roach, "I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!" He yells as his eyes fill with tears. My body shakes and tears stream from my eyes, he raises a hand. I ready myself for the attack to come, but it doesn't. "Don't you dare hit your brother!" I hear my mother's voice.
She pulls him towards her, "What is wrong with you!?" She tells, my bottom lip quivers as I look up at her. "I hate him Eomma, this is all his fault. This is why Appa doesn't love you." He tells her. "Jungkook has nothing to do with this." She whimpers. "I still hate him, he's a pest." She shakes her head and sets her hands on his shoulders. "Don't say that! He's your little brother and he looks up to you, you mean the world to him." She cries.
"Don't touch him!" I hear my father. He pulls my brother away from my mother's grasp, "Get in the car, let's go." He tells my brother who happily gets his luggage that was next to the door, and leaves. "No, please." She cries, "Stop your tears, nothing will make me stay." He looks at her with an angry expression. But still, she holds his arm. "GET OFF OF ME!" He yells as he pushes my mother on the ground. "Eomma!" I cry as she hits the floor hard, I hear the clinking of my father removing his belt, I look up with tears in my eyes. "You little parasite, ruined my life!" He yells, he holds both ends of the belt in his hand and he raises his arm.
"NO!!" My Eomma yells as she rolls onto me and covers my body with hers. The belt making a loud sound as it hits her back, she cries as the leather brings her pain. I stare up at the ceiling as my tears fall down my cheeks. She holds me tight in her embrace, not daring to let me go. "Have a miserable life." He says, pulling back in his belt before he walks out of the house. "I love you Jungkook, know that. I'll never stop loving you." She cries as she presses her head against mine. I hug her back just as tight, "I love you Eomma." I tell her, she sits up and leans against the wall as she pulls me against her.
She wipes my tears and fixes my hair, "My Kookie, don't let what your father told you, get to you. Neither your brother, they have been cursed with evil. They don't know an angel when they see one." She tells me, I stare at her sad face. I start to think about it still, my father left because of me... he hates me, and so does my only brother. "I'd do anything for you Jungkook." She starts to cry, she hugs me and kisses my face.
I remember that night my mother cried for hours, I slept in the bed with her because I felt so secure with her warmth. I was afraid that my father would come back and hurt me. All I ever wanted was for my father to love me and care for me the way he did my brother. It's been years since I've seen any of them, and I don't know if I ever will. If there was a chance that I would, I don't know if I'd want to.
**
I open my eyes and I see my mother staring at the floor. "Eomma." I call her. She looks up at me, tears already building up in her eyes. "Jungkook." She whimpers as she starts to cry again. Seeing my mother cry, makes me want to cry. My throat swells up as I hold in my tears. "What happened to you?" She asks, pulling her chair up to the bed and she takes my hand as I reach for her. "Eomma, it's nothing." I tell her, "Jungkook, don't you dare lie to me and tell that what I saw last night was nothing! You were bleeding and you fell to the floor! It wasn't nothing!"
She cries hysterically, my tears now falling down my cheeks. "I thought I was going to lose you." She cries even harder, "Who did this to you?" She asks me. As much as I want to say that it was Taehyung, I'm not going to. "No one, Eomma." Now she doesn't look sad, she looks infuriated. "Jungkook, tell me this instant!" She yells, letting go of my hand. I stare ahead, not daring to look at her in the eyes. I refuse to say it, I'm not a rat.
"Jungkook, please tell me.. please. I only want to keep you safe from whoever did this to you." She says to me. I look down at my hands and pick at the bitten nails. "If you're trying to keep someone safe, stop. This is about you, not the person who did this to you." I can already hear the frustration in her voice. "So you're not going to say anything." She then gets the idea that I won't. She lets out a deep breath, "I really don't understand your generation." She rolls her eyes and sets her hands on her hips.
"People do horrible things to you, but yet you don't say anything about it so people can help you. Because supposedly, snitches get stitches. Which is the dumbest thing I've ever heard." Her voice then shakes and she walks out of the room. I let out a low breath and sit back, looking up at the ceiling. Thinking of last night has really made everything hurt a little more. All the things that Taehyung had told me, and what happened with Jennie, makes me believe that Jennie's feelings for me are actually serious.
But I don't quite understand, what made her change her mind? Why does she like me all of a sudden? She had Taehyung, and I had... I blink a couple of times.
Jennie got jealous?
**
"Lalisa, we just got a call from Jungkook's mother, he's in the hospital." I hear my mother, making me freeze in my spot. A horrible chill runs up my spine, "What?" I ask her. "Jungkook is in the hospital." Another chill runs up my spine. "What happened?" I ask, my voice shaking and I can't even get my legs to work so that I can stand up. "His mother wouldn't say, I can drop you off before I go to work if you'd like. I know you'd want to see him." I slowly nod, who would have known that just sitting at home watching television would become this?
I was a bit suspicious though, he hadn't texted me like he always does in the morning with something sweet. I honestly thought he slept in, which I thought was okay. I would have never guessed this. I limply grab the remote and turn off the television, before I attempt to stand up. I hold onto the arm of the chair before I walk down the hall to my room. When I get to my room, I stare into the mirror, questioning myself about all the outcomes.
Did he get really sick? I change into something that's more presentable, a nice crop top and high waisted jeans with my converse. I pull my hair up into a ponytail and grab my phone along with my purse. I run over to the living room where my mother is, she looks at me and we head out to the hospital. My mind scrambles about all the possibilities of what could have happened after he left my house last night. I still can't get myself to think of something that might have happened.
As soon as we make it to the hospital I feel my stomach sink. I don't know why I'm nervous, I guess because I've had to see my father in the hospital and now my boyfriend. "I'll walk you in." My mother tells me, I look at her and just nod. We exit the car and our walk up to his room is a blur to me, I just followed my mother through the halls. I don't even remember his room number or the floor he's in. "Lalisa, Baby, you okay?" I hear my mother as we seem to be in front of his room. I slowly nod, "If you're not ready I can bring you back another day, or take you to his house when he is out of the hospital." I'm about to answer when I see Jungkook's mother down the hall on the phone.
She spots me and says something to the person on the phone before she hangs up, and walks over to us. She looks really exhausted, "Lalisa, sweetie, I'm glad you came.", "Hi, how is he?" I ask. "He's fine." Is all she says. She then exchanged glances with my mother and I get the idea that they want to talk. "Would it be okay if I go in?" I ask, she nods and opens the door for me and I walk in. I stand in front of the closed door for a few seconds, I can already hear our mothers talking. I finally walk into view, his face is all beat up and several bandages are on his cheeks, nose and over his eyebrows.
He'll surely get a black eye, and he looks in a lot of pain. I want to cry, I fight back tears. I take a step toward his bed and his eyes slowly open, I then hear the machines beeping quickly, making my eyes widen. "Lalisa." He says. I walk up to him quickly, "Jungkook." I say. He lays back in the bed and I sit on the side and gently touch his shoulder. He slowly grins, completely ignoring the fact that I'm worried about him. "You came." He whispers. I can't help but break down. "What happened to you?" I'm able to ask through sobs. He shakes his head. "Jungkook, What happened?" I ask him. "Taehyung." He says finally.
I stare at him as tears build up in my eyes, "What? Why?" He slowly lets out a breath. "Jennie likes me, that's why. He beat me up on my walk home." I shut my eyes tight and let my tears fall down my cheeks. "I'm just grateful that you weren't there." I then feel his hand on my face, I hold onto his hand and shut my eyes tighter. I feel him sit up, "Come here." He whispers. I open my eyes and he motions for me to lay in bed with him. I gladly take the chance to lay with him.
He hisses lightly as I wrap my arms around him, "I'm sorry." I worry. "No, it's fine. It doesn't hurt that much." My eyebrows knit and I try to be gentle, even though I want to squeeze him close to me and never let him go. My eyebrows knit and I turn my face into his shirt. I try not to start crying, but I fail miserably. "Please stop crying Lalisa, I'm okay." He whispers to me, "I just didn't think I'd have to see you this way." I tell him. I sit up and look at him, he frowns to the sight of me crying. He uses his hand to wipe my eyes, I stare into his dark eyes.
I lean forward and press my lips against his, I hear the machine beeping quickly again and I realize that his heart is pounding like mine. I hear the door open and I pull away from him, only to be greeted with cold envious eyes and spears through my chest. "Kookie, are you okay?" Her voice sends chills down my spine. I'm about to stand up when Jungkook stop me and Jennie stops in her tracks. "Do I look okay? I'm in a hospital bed because of your boyfriend." Jungkook speaks up. Jennie's eyes widen and she doesn't even look at me.
"So it was Taehyung." I then hear his mother. "I'm going to press charges against-", "Eomma please, there's no point." Jungkook interrupts his mother. "What do you mean that there's no point? This needs to be dealt with and-", "Eomma." Jungkook says. She just stares at her son in the bed. Even Jennie's mother looks shocked, I hadn't even noticed her in the room. "Can we actually talk about something that's more important than me?" Jungkook asks. "Your feelings."
And I feel completely out of place.
**
"Just because you were jealous, doesn't mean you should have mistreated Lalisa." Her eyebrows knit and she stares at me dead in the eyes. "It's because she took you away from me." I stare at her in shock, "What are you talking about? You pushed me away when you had Taehyung, and you pushed me away when I confessed to you." I tell her. Her eyes water and she stares at me, "I didn't mean to." She whimpers. I honestly feel sympathy for her.
"It's okay.." I think for a second, "I forgive you." I tell her, actually meaning it. She slowly smiles to herself, I let out a breath. She doesn't even look at Lalisa, I feel mad about how she's treated Lalisa since she's walked into the room. "You've been real rotten, Jennie." I tell her. She nods, "I know, I'm sorry." She whimpers. "Are you actually sorry though?" I ask her. "Yes, Yes, I want my best friend back." And I'm not even sure if she means it. I stare at her for a long time, I still feel Lalisa tense under my touch.
"How do I know I can believe you?" I ask her, "Because, I know what I want now. My mind is straight, I need you in my life Jungkook. I've been miserable without you in it." And I honestly feel like my body and mind are finally at peace with all my thoughts about Jennie. "I need you... to apologize to Lalisa.. in order to by my friend again." I tell her, she still won't look at Lalisa. "Why is it so hard for you to look at her?" I ask Jennie. "Cause every time I look at her, I see how happy she makes you." I'm taken aback. I haven't even noticed that our mothers left the room to let us talk in peace.
"And.. how happy you make her, like how you used to make me." She explains. "And I know that I had neglected your friendship and feelings, I know that now. I really do." She still hasn't looked at Lalisa, "Then mean it by looking at Lalisa and apologizing." I tell her, standing my ground. I see Jennie let out a breath before she looks straight at Lalisa who looks terrified, I can't believe that I've never noticed before how Jennie makes her feel. I'm such a horrible best friend and boyfriend. "I'm sorry." Jennie finally says.
I feel like some sort of counselor, trying to get everyone to get along. "I really am." Jennie nods, and for the first time in a long time, I believe that Jennie is actually being sympathetic. Lalisa stares at Jennie for a long time, causing Jennie to become impatient. "So are you going to accept it or not?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest. I let out a breath, so much for all the sympathetic stuff. "I-I.. Y-Yeah." Lalisa stutters, and surprisingly, Jennie grins. And I don't know whether I should be worried or not. I let out a breath and stare at Lalisa as she quickly looks away from Jennie.
Somethings completely off.
**
I drop my arms and stare at Jungkook as he looks at Lalisa. I really did apologize, but there's still this roaring jealousy that runs in my veins. "Can I talk to you in private, Jungkook?" I ask. He finally looks at me, "Yeah.. I guess." I guess!? Huh! Lalisa looks at him with puppy eyes and tells him she's going to look for a vending machine. I try not to pull my hair when they share a kiss and she leaves the room. I'm finally able to breathe now that she's gone and I don't have to worry about her hearing anything we're going to talk about.
I invite myself to sit right next to him on the bed, he looks at me a bit confused. "Thank you for apologizing to Lalisa, but I think it's still going to take a while for me to be able to trust you again." I raise an eyebrow, "Why? We've known each other for years, it's easy to be my friend again." I tell him. He stares at me with a straight face, "You can't be serious." He says. I only blink a couple of times. "You treat me like I'm nothing when I confess my feelings to you, and now that you feel something for me and I don't. You expect me to act like nothing happened."
He lets out a rude laugh and shakes his head, "If you really want to be my friend again, you'd give me time." I'm going to have to swallow my tongue on this one. "I understand." He raises an eyebrow, "Do you?" I nod quickly. I slowly look away from him and look down at my nails, then I hear the door open and in walk the mothers. "Jungkookie, I'm happy you're okay." My mother tells him. "Thank you auntie." I stand up from the bed and let out a breath. "Jennie, let's leave them be to talk." I just walk out of the room and we walk out into the hallway.
"Jennie, you have some explaining to do." My mother says as soon as we're in the car. I just hook my seatbelt and stare out the window with my chin in the palm of my hand.
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[ R E V I S E D ]
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