Chapter 11

"Tate," napabangon ako sa kinahihigaan ko ng tawagin ni Mama ang pangalan ko. Kumatok siya sa pinto at binuksan niya ang pinto ng kwarto ko. She sneak her head in to see me. "Dinner's ready, nandiyan na rin ang Papa mo. We should have dinner ng sabay sabay."

Tumango naman ako. Halos walang sigla na namumutawi sa katawan ko. "Sige po, susunod na lang po ako."

"May sakit ka ba?" Her immediate suspicion brought her to come and check my condition. she placed the back of her hand on my neck and on my forehead. She ended up creasing her forehead as I'm feeling normal and not sick at all. Wala lang talaga akong gana to do anything other than to feel alone. "Hindi ka namn mainit. What happened, Tatiana? You're not like this. You don't usually stayed in your room and not reviewing your notes. Something happened, I know that... tell me, maybe I can help."

Bumagsak ang balikat ko kasabay nang malalim na buntonghininga.

"It's about Gwen,"

"Oh, what about her?" Kunot-noong pagaalala ni Mama.

"We just had a misunderstanding but I'm sure we'll fix it. Hindi naman mahirap kausap si Gwen kaya maliit na bagay lang 'to. I think I'll just giver her a call later para makapag-usap ulit kaming dalawa."

Tumango sa akin si mama. Sangayon siya sa sinabi ko. "Yes, do that, sort it all out at baka kung saan pa mapunta ang lahat. Join us on the dinner table na."

I nodded to my mom, "I'll be with you in a sec," ngiti ko pa.

When my mom left the room, para akong binalutan ulit ng malamig na hangin na hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit. Alam kong tama naman 'yong ginawa ko at way na rin 'yon para maging maayos kaming dalawa ni Gwen. But if it doesn't work out kahit gumawa na ako ng paraan, wala na sa akin ang problema. Nasa kanya na iyon. If she want to sort it out with me, siya na mismo ang lumapit dahil gumawa na ako ng paraan para makapag-ayos kaming dalawa but she wants to end things with me. If she really wants that, ano pa nga bang magagawa ko?

Before I jumped out of my bed, I got a notification that she posted something on her Instagram stories. I quickly check it out and I took a deep sighed after seeing it. 

Yup, Noah and Gwen are going on a date right now.

I told Noah that this is a huge favor and he gladly took it. I just said that he needs to date my friend, Gwen because she's not talking to me after what happened the other day. He immediately understood what I meant. Siya rin naman sa akin ang nagsabi na mali iyong ginawa but I have reasons. Sana maintindihan din nila iyon.

Even though I smell hesitations from Noah, pumayag pa rin siya dahil ayaw niya rin namang mag-friendship over kaming dalawa ni Gwen. But it already looks like we were when she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I just reminded Noah about it and he'll do whatever he can to sway her mind out of her jealousy.

I put my phone down and left in the my bed and walk out of the room.

Bumaba ako ng hagdan at tumungo sa kusina kung saan naabutan kong naghahanda na sila nang aming hapunan. My father hugged me as I joined them on the table. I'm an only child so they really put their efforts to gave the best care for me. Kahit alam kong may pagkukulang sila sa akin, I know they're still doing their best to be the best parents for me.

"So, how are you Tate?" My father asked. "How are you doing in school?"

"Well, I'm fine and still aiming to be the top student in school... like always." I chuckled. "But everything's good naman, the school fairs will happen in the next two weeks and oh, prom is nearly coming!"

"Really?!" Mom gasped. "We should get you a perfect dress. What do you think of color red dress? Is it too bit regal or not?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's fine." I shrugged off. "I really don't have to wear pretty dress in the prom night. Whatever I have in my closet would be fine, I think." I winced.

"No, Tate. You're not going to wear your old dresses in your closet." Father said. "We'll buy you some."

Umiling ako, "No, you don't have to. There's much no expenses needed to pay rather than buying a new dress for me na isang gabi ko lang din naman gagamitin. Don't worry about what I'll wear, kaya ko naman dalhin 'yan kahit luma pa 'yan."

"But--"

I cut my father's sentence. "Nope, you wouldn't dad." Ngisi ko pa.

"Oh okay, sure, if that's what you want."

We continued eating and talks more about some things. Kung sino daw makaka-date ko sa prom or kung may jowa na daw ba ako. Good thing, hindi pa umabot sa kanila ang news about Noah. If they knew it, hindi naman nila ako totally papagalitan dahil nilihim ko 'yon, they will tell some things na makakabuti naman sa akin. I guess they just want the best for me after all.

Pero 'yon nga, kahit anong gawin ko ngayon, Noah Beckon will never be mine. Hinayaan ko na mapunta siya sa bestfriend ko. I think they deserve each other. At siya rin naman talaga ang may dahilan kung bakit kami nagkakilala ni Noah. She deserves it, I really don't need it.

When we finished eating, tinulungan ko naman si mama maghugas ng pinagkainan namin.

While we're finishing it all up, may sinabi sa akin si mama na hindi ko makalimutan.

"If Gwen stops being your friend just because of a boy, she's not a true friend... or perhaps, let the situation unfold until its over."

Hindi ko makalimutan 'yon hangga't sa makabalik ako sa kwarto ko. I should be preparing to sleep dahil bukas ay magrereview pa ako at aaralin ko 'yong mga notes baka may biglaang quiz na naman kami. But aside from that, I kept myself distracted by the thought of what's happening to Noah and Gwen's date.

It's not a friendly date because for Gwen, a date is a date.

Panay ang balik ko sa IG stories niya at pinapanood ang bawat post niya. They are laughing together, eating together and having fun together. Mukhang masaya rin si Noah na kasama niya si Gwen ngayon. Siguro nga nagkamali lang talaga 'to si Noah sa pagpili ng makakadate niya noon. It should be Gwen and not me. Ang dami dami rin naman kasing fangirls niya, ako pa talaga ang napili niya. 

And an another update from Gwen's IG stories made my heart sunk, she kissed Noah on his cheek. I know I shouldn't feel anything or be jealous about it. In the first place, hindi naman dapat ako magselos. Wala naman akong karapatan para ma-feel 'yon but I did and I don't know how to feel that. 

Gwen was the only one who's posting it online, walang update si Noah in any of his social media. I know he wanted to keep it private and Gwen wanted to show to the world na ka-date niya si Noah ngayon. She really wants that, at ngayong napagbigyan na siya syempre hindi na niya papalagpasin ang chance niya.

Her posts online spread all through every social media. Hindi ko alam kung anong masasabi ni Noah dito. But if I was the one who is with him today, we'll keep it private and won't share to the world kung anong ginagawa namin ngayon. I only just want to be us and kept the world blind from it. Hindi rin naman kasi kailangan ng mundo malaman kung anong mga pinaggagawa namin. And I keep saying this that it is me pero hindi naman. Gwen has her own choice in life naman, if she wants to tell it to everybody, walang makakapigil sa kanya. 

I think her privacy doesn't matter anymore. Nagsimula rin naman 'yon ng maging maingay ang pangalan ko sa school because of Noah.

Natuluguan ko na lang din naman ang pagaabang at mas mabuting itulog ko na lang din kaysa naman saktan ko pa ang sarili ko.

In the middle of the night, nagising ako at mabilis kong tiningnan ang oras and it was past two in the morning. Hindi lang din oras ang napansin ko at napatitig na lang din ako sa phone ko dahil hindi ko inaasahan na magmemessage siya sa akin.

It was two hours ago, twelve midnight. He left me a message and five missed calls. I wished I've answered those calls but maybe we're really not meant to be. Pero hindi ko na sure kung papatugin pa ba ako ng message niya o hindi. I wanted to reply but it's freaking two in the morning and that made me a little crazy to get his attention so I leave it alone and tried to get back on my sleep.

But whenever I close my eyes, I only get to see his face...

Oh, Noah, what did you do to me?

Noah Beckon:

The date is over. Can we talk about us now?