XXXV ‖ moonlight sonata

We're like a song with no words, the bittersweet resonance of a wooden bow against silver strings and a dance against all rhythms. I was all alone, bearing the demands of the tempo and the weight of every accent through the staves — till you rushed in like a valiant tempest. Your accompaniment was purposeful with clarity, lifting me off into the air with incomprehensible ease and grace. Albeit being sounds of differing tones and movements of contradicting choreography, you always had a way to delicately string us together into one breathtaking performance. Dance with me to the rhythm of love, darling. May our tale be told through all sonatas and interludes.

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LONDON
February
Location: Jaxen's House

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Stepping out of the shower, I pulled the slate grey sweatshirt over me and went downstairs. Intrigued by the soft melody from the grand piano, my gaze focused towards the direction of the music and saw Jax there, sitting by the dark gloss grandeur placed right beside the large expanse of the glass window. Faint moonlight cast upon the entire area, surrounding him with a halo of silver that caused me to stop at my feet. I took in the whole sight, enthralled by all that I witnessed.

"Iva." He turned towards me and patted the space on the seat beside him. "Join me for a bit?"

My mind seemed to have a conscious of its own when I felt myself being pushed in his direction, compelled to his affections and tenderness. I sat on the cushioned seat, filling the space beside him and asked, "What were you playing?"

"Moonlight sonata," he smiled. "Beethoven."

"Is that your favourite piece?"

"You can say that," he chuckled. "Can you play?"

I stared down at the keys in front of me, slightly intimidated by the unfamiliarity. There was no way I could comprehend music, in the same manner, I knew of colours and shapes. Shaking my head lightly, I responded, "No."

"Want to try?" He lifted an arm and rested his elbow just above the fallboard. His body turned towards me and I looked at him with lifted brows, amused by his invitation. It was in these rarer times when his smile reached his eyes and the greyish-blue tones glimmered as he focused on me, making it irresistible for me to not smile at the look of it.

"Why not?" I laughed, facing the keys again and placed my hands above the keys. "What should I do?"

"I'm not going to teach you from the start, sweetness," he whispered softly before a strong arm circled my back and swept my entire body towards him. He settled me on his lap and I felt my own breath being caught in my throat. My heart was thumping so fast that I almost felt myself near to having a cardiac arrest. I stuttered, "W-What are you doing?"

"Playing the piano together," he said in his deep voice and the entire nape of my neck tingled. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he requested, "Rest your hands on mine."

I hesitated but only because I was more afraid of him hearing the loudness of my heart drumming against my ribs in this pin-drop silence with both of us stuck so close together. When I remained unmoved, he urged, breathing close against my ears, "Come on, I promise it'll be fun."

Rolling my lower lip between my teeth, I tried to hold back any sound that bubbled up my throat when he exhaled against the sensitiveness right below my ear. I heeded to his request and rested my hands on his before he began to move. His long fingers swept across the rows of ivories and blacks, blanketing over the cacophony of distorted white noise from the silence with one clear, harmonious symphony of sound.

The beauteous melody sounded in my ears as my eyes followed each movement of his hands under mine. Cradled in his warmth and the music surrounding us, a sudden rush of nostalgia hit me hard as a fragmented piece of foreign memory flashed across my vision.

-

"This is how you play it." The voice was paced and calm from right behind me and a pair of hands danced gracefully across the rows of keys on the antique piano, demonstrating a tune of the melody. I felt the closeness of a body behind me, encasing me within a sphere of serenity. On the hit of a final note, the voice asked, "Did you watch closely?"

I reached my gloved hands out, placed it atop of his and giggled mischievously, "I don't have to learn it I could simply place my hand above yours and let you play it for me, Jace."

"Anything you say, latreía mou."

-

Blinking hard, I shook my head and took a deep inhale. The flashback vision vanished immediately and I was brought back to the present. I drew my hands from his and placed it over my chest. His hands stopped, together with the melody. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his back closer, he asked, "Is something wrong?"

"That wasn't my memory, was it?" I gasped in an almost inaudible voice.

Jax turned me around, brushing my hair away from my face and rested his warm palms against my jaw. The storm in his eyes illuminated against the dimness of the space and he said in a worried tone, "Talk to me, sweetness."

"I don't know what to say," I exhaled, remembering a name from the flashback, "Jace?"

At the mention of the name, I felt him stiffen as his eyes widened with surprise. He turned his head to the side, avoiding my gaze and I quickly held onto his shoulders and frowned, "Look at me."

He remained avoidant and I pushed slightly on his shoulders, trying to get his attention back on me. When he finally turned back, he wrapped one hand on my arm and the other along my jaw as he leaned in, crashing his lips against mine with a forcefulness that I didn't understand. His kiss was deep, thorough, but hurried. And when he pulled back, the feel of his kiss still lingered on my lips. There were so many things I just didn't understand about him and I wanted to, I wanted to figure him out so desperately. I called him by that name again, "Jace."

"What is it, sweetness?" He lifted his head and flickered his gaze to me again. The moment our eyes met, I was divested of my own consciousness and willpower, with my entire soul trapped within the speckled argent brilliance of those orbs. Using his shoulders as support, I pushed myself above him and my bronde hair flowed from my back and fell around our faces, caressingly softly like silk against skin.

"How is it possible that I know you but I don't at the same time?" I mentioned and I saw his face fell into impassiveness, but I caught the flash of fear that shuddered in his irises. Curling my fingers against the back of his neck, I lowered myself to seal our lips together as desire ignited within me. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't kiss him fast enough, hard enough to express the rushing need within me. I held onto my breath and deprived myself of air, till the hurt in my lungs grew, in the same manner, my chest hurts to the uncertainty of love.

He exhaled into the thin space between our lips, "Breathe."

"Can I trust you?"

"You can, latreía mou," he said quietly. "But it's only if your heart wants to trust me."

Can I?

His hands rested firmly on the curve of my waist and he leaned in to place a kiss on the round of my cheek. I didn't flinch upon his touch and I didn't want to back away either. Responding to my silent consent, he continued to pepper kisses along the length of my neck as he kept his gaze on me. My entire world was constricted to the touch of his lips on my skin and my body arched to his breath against the hollow of my collarbone. His teeth grazed lightly across the delicate skin, drawing an exhale out of me.

"Isabel," he echoed my birth name in an almost revered way and I loved the very sound of it against his lips. The tenderness he held in his tone was something that I've never heard from anyone else. I don't remember telling him about it and I don't really care too. At this moment, I only wanted him to call me like that over and again, till I don't remember anything else but the sound of his voice.

I wished he knew how urgent he made me feel and there was almost no part of me that didn't yearn for him. I never thought I could feel so strongly for someone. The weight of his love filled the emptiness in my chest, and being with him always felt like finding something back after a very long time. It felt like going home to a pair of arms where I belonged.

I dragged my hands through his hair, my fingers tangled within the smoothness of those dark strands. The rising heat in my body singed me when his hands slipped under the hem of the sweatshirt and his fingers traced the arc of my hipbones. Those featherlight touches marked me with sensations that were rushing up my head and robbing my ability to think.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked.

"Haven't you been doing that?" I wasn't sure why he asked but he waited for an answer. And there was absolutely no way I could reject him, no way. He was just so much to me and he would always be that much. This man changed the course of my life the moment he stepped right into it. I nodded.

He tugged me close and pushed himself to stand, bringing me up in his arms. Our faces were just an inch away and my eyes widened in surprise but he didn't faze at the closeness. One of his hand grabbed me by the back of my neck and he kissed me hard — so goddamned hard. He made sure there was nothing between us, nothing between our lips. Not even air.

That's the thing: I have no idea how to breathe when he continued to steal every single breath of mine over and again. 

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