XV ‖ elite training

LONDON
January
Location: Elysium, Lethe
8:00 AM

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Bringing my morning temper along with me, I pushed on the door violently and stormed into the training room. The emptiness from within greeted me, rousing more anger as I swung my duffel bag at the benches. I'm going to kill that idiot who told me training would start at eight in the morning. 

Spewing out all possible vocabulary I knew of cuss words, I hooked my thumb through the hoop of the hand wrap and started looping the piece of cloth around my wrist. I continued to wrap my hands, feeling more annoyed with each passing second until a sudden chill pierced through my spine, causing me to flinch. On high alert, I spun around and avoided the incoming tackle.

"Not very nice of you to greet me in that manner," Jax frowned, rolling forward and landing himself smoothly on the padded mattress beneath him after the failed attempt to strike me from behind.  

"And to strike someone from behind when they're in the midst of preparing is dirty," I clicked my tongue in annoyance. "I'm here, what now?" 

"Prickly in the morning, noted." Jax raised his brows, amused by his newest discovery about me. "First lesson of the day: never let your guard down." 

After saying that, he quickly lowered himself and he swept his long leg across. I instantly pumped up into a high jump, tucking my knees close to my chest as I successfully prevented myself from falling over the annoying ankle locks. Seizing the chance to steady myself while he recovered into his stance, I sprinted towards the weapon shelf and picked up a random dagger.

I aimed at his direction and bought myself some time to choose from the variety. My eyes scanned hurriedly across the display and spotted a bagh nakh. Intrigued by it, I put my fingers through and gripped it tight. At this point, Jax had gotten close and I swung it towards him. As expected, he dodged it with swift accuracy and a smirk grew on his face. 

He easily equipped himself with a fighting knife and bent his knees to root himself firmly in a combat stance. Flipping the knife around, he wielded it backhand while he held his other palm up and folded in a gesture to invite me to strike. Without hesitation, I charged forward and went head-on towards him. 

At the exact moment when he expected me to strike face-front, I switched to the left and slashed against his right. However, Jax was wicked fast when he immediately shifted and his body made a sharp turn to appear behind me. His fingers gripped firmly onto the back of my neck and swung me back while his leg trapped mine. 

Damn it. 

I was thrown off balance and I fell on my back. Jax was definitely an opportunist in the way he moved because he took advantage of the seconds of my vulnerability to straddle on top of me, pushing his weight on me. My arms shot forward in reflex to defend myself while my body trudged in a struggle to break myself free. 

Infuriatingly, I could neither win Jax in terms of strength or speed. He continued to strike until another opportunity arrived for him and he got past my defence. His hand wrapped around my slender neck as he strangled me, depriving me of air before he cocked his arm back and jabbed the knife in his other hand with ferocious intensity. A sudden wave of fear seized me as I squeezed my eyes shut and my heart stopped entirely. 

A moment of silence and stillness, I slowly peeled my eyes open and saw that the knife was pierced deep into the padded ground just a few inches away from me. "I wouldn't kill you. But you need to know that a cac or diabolo wouldn't hesitate."

"I know that, asshat," I cursed while my heart still raced at the near-death experience just now.

"I want you to have the highest chance of survival if anything happens, Iva," he said in a hushed tone that I nearly mistook it for something more. I exhaled a sigh, closing my eyes for a slight moment as thoughts flooded into my mind. Sometimes, I wished I knew Jax but he was simply too ambiguous and impenetrable. He had his entire being wrapped around an air of mystery that is even more galling to attempt to get through and I don't know if I'm ready to know about his world yet. 

"I get it," I shrugged, shifting uncomfortably under him. 

He removed his weight on me and pushed himself up before stretching out his hand towards me. I took it and raised my gaze to meet his, staring right into those greyish-blue eyes that never seem to dull despite holding a storm of clouds within them. At that moment, I realised that nothing could ever explain why his presence had inexplicably drawn me to him but deep down, I know that my heart had taken a leap. 

I can't deny that I'm attracted to him and I had desired for him. But I didn't have the courage to admit that out loud because I still fear to have my fragile feelings trampled over by empty promises and heart-wrenching departures. After all, words come easy, promises were never kept and goodbyes were sometimes left unannounced. 

Jarring myself out of my own thoughts, I stood up and braced myself for the rest of the training. 

For the rest of the afternoon, he worked on tactical combating with me as I strained to keep up to his pace even when he claimed to have slowed down for me. At the end of the day, my lungs burned with every breath I took and he stubbornly scheduled the next training to be the next day at eight in the morning. Rolling my eyes, I disregarded everything else while letting my body fall onto the padded mattress as I huffed breathlessly. So much for mentor-mentee communication. 

◩

When I returned home, I received a call from the agent and was informed that my apartment is ready for move-in. At the sound of it, my first instinct was to look towards Vivienne and Seth as they were squabbling with each other over the last bar of chocolate left in the fridge. When they caught me staring, they had also returned an equally curious look towards me. I quickly acknowledged the notice and cut the call. 

Looking away, I pivoted towards my room but Vivienne had called out from behind me. She asked, with worry in her tone, "Iva, who's that?" 

I continued to walk but Vivienne and Seth had now followed behind. Picking up the luggage and throwing it open on the bed, I opened the wardrobe and threw stacks of my clothes into it while replying to Vivienne's question, "Nothing much, just a notice that my apartment is settled. I'll move in tonight." 

"You don't have to rush," she said in a low voice. 

I don't understand the sudden sadness that rose within me when I thought about needing to part with them. And I also know that even if I choose not to move, they would also move out of this place eventually. Temporary. Everything in life is temporary. My hands fumbled to fold the clothes but decided that I would just dump them in as a whole since I'm not feeling it. Sensing my frustration, Vivienne settled herself on the bed and helped to reorganise my clothes while Seth stayed at the door, leaning against the ledge as he watched me. 

"Hey," she said. "Visit us once in a while, will you?" 

"We'll still see each other at Lethe. Don't talk as if I'm moving somewhere far away," I forced out a laugh. 

"But you disappear on us all the time, Iva," Vivienne continued. "You isolate yourself on purpose and it's so difficult to grab hold of you." 

"I stand with Viv on this," Seth added. "You're here for us whenever we needed you, but you never allowed us to be there for you when you needed anyone." 

"I'll call when I need you guys," I replied simply, still continuing to pack in my stuff.

"What a lie," Vivienne sulked. "I don't even get to see you these days in Lethe and I was starting to wonder if you're upset with me." 

"Why would I be?" 

"You aren't happy with the training arrangement, are you?" she asked, wary. "You know, I could request to talk to Morgiana again or talk to Porter about it." 

"You get along well with Porter," I winked at her. "And I'm sure you had fun with him, right?" 

"I heard about it too, the techs saw you both a couple of days ago and said that the two of you were obviously flirting." Seth raised a brow towards Vivienne who is now all flushed and red. 

"There's nothing between Porter and me!" she exclaimed but neither Seth nor I were convinced by her proclaim. 

"Keep telling yourself that, girlfriend," I teased. 

"Shut up, Iva!" she frowned. "Even if there's something, it's nothing serious. I can't do serious anymore." 

"Viv." I walked towards her and wrapped my hands around her. "First thing first, I'm not mad at you and I would never be mad at you. Next thing, please know that I'm supportive of all your choices and I want you to be happy." 

"Ugh, stop it or I'm going to cry tears and snot on your shirt." 

"I'll wipe it back on you," I laughed and she pulled her face back into a frown. 

Removing my arms from her, I continued to pack my things with additional help from Vivienne and Seth. Once done, I pulled on the handle and went out of my room. My hand reached into the pocket for the car key and threw it towards Vivienne. She caught it swiftly while facing me with an expression of surprise. 

"Some of my cars had been delivered to my apartment, that's for the car down in the garage," I explained, and stepped out of the door.

"Alright," Vivienne nodded and shouted from behind, "And let me crash your apartment sometimes!"

"You know the passcode! Invite yourself in!" I shouted back and lifted my hand to wave lazily. 

◩

I lugged my stuff into the entryway and removed my shoes before stepping into the minimally furnished and spacious apartment. My bare feet stepped against the cold marbled ground and I sighed into the pin-drop silence.

Tapping on a few keys on the electronic interface attached to the wall, I switched the apartment's central heating system on and stood by the large glass expanse in the living room to stare out into the breathtakingly beautiful skyline. I came to realise the sudden sadness and frustration I felt back in that apartment was because of my grown attachment to having people surrounding me within their warmth. 

Turning around, I faced directly into the kitchen and immediately missing all the casual banter with Seth. Dropping my head in slight dejection, my eyes fixed itself on the couch in front of me and I was reminded that Vivienne would be all curled up and trying to cheat her way back to sleep whenever I forcefully dragged her out of bed in the morning. 

Feeling all the emptiness, I whipped my head around and stare out of the window again. Then, my phone buzzed and I stared down to look at an incoming notification. Seeing that it was Isaiah, I had decided to type a reply. 

Flipping my wrist over to check the time on the brace, I realised that it was still pretty early to call the night. 

Grabbing my coat from the hanger, I slipped my feet into a pair of simple heels and left the apartment.

 ◩  

(it never felt right giving over my heart. 'cause every last love always tore me apart.)