"WE'RE GATHERED HERE TODAY BECAUSE SOMEONE CAN'T GET HIMSELF A DATE."

Nicky raised an eyebrow as he sat on Harry's bed in his penthouse apartment, surrounded by more teenagers than he expected to be as a twenty-six year old man. But there were many things he hadn't expected to be a part of his life, so this was probably not the most strange. 

But considering the current circumstances, it was nearing the most strange.

"I can get myself a date, I'm just not so sure he wants—" he tried, but Harry held up a hand, shushing him.

"Don't kid yourself," he said, surprisingly cold, going back to pacing slowly, "Now, as I was saying. Nicky here has been trying for a week now to get this guy to like him—I know it's been a week, because he asked me how I got Johnny to go on a date with me last week—and we need to help him."

Aurora, a small thing wearing a flower crown a bright smile, raised her hand from where she was sitting in between Peter and Phillip. "Why are we getting started so early on, it's only been a week."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "A week is a really long time, Aurora, a thousand people could die in one hour, think of the number of people who've died in one week."

"Think of all the people who've been born in one week," Peter countered, trying to smile.

Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Pete...I love you, like a lot, but I need to to not."

"Sorry, Harry," Peter mumbled, glancing at his hands.

"It's okay, you meant well," Harry said, giving him a smile before turning back to the group, smile replaced with a look reminiscent of his father, "So. We've gotta get him a date and we're gonna do it in the most dramatic and romantic way possible."

"Why?" Flash groaned, wearing a snapback that definitely wasn't his own, "That's so obnoxious."

"You're one to talk," Peter mumbled to himself, and the boy shot up, glaring at him, and Peter pointed towards Diana who just blinked, clearly not rushing to save her boyfriend from her adoptive brother.

"Focus!" Harry cried, calling them back to attention, "We're giving him the most dramatic romance movie help ever, because that's what he deserves! He hasn't even had his first kiss, this is crucial!"

"You haven't had your first kiss?" Gwen asked, much kinder than was needed.

"Why?" Flash scoffed, much more judgmental than necessary. 

"That's his business, guys, chill," Harry said, lowering his voice and giving them both a look, and they sent apologetic looks towards both Harry and Nicky, who was feeling incredibly uncomfortable in the situation.

He wanted to try and argue against Harry's plan, trying to explain that he really didn't care about being with Sam, he just was glad to have the man in his life, but it had been a few days since he actually admitted to Sam that the man made him happy and he couldn't exactly keep lying to himself that he didn't want to date the man.

"Does he know you like him?" Phillip asked, "Because maybe he's not asking you out because he doesn't know if you like him, you know?"

Nicky rubbed the back of his neck. "He knows. He always knew. He'd been flirting with me since we met, actually, according to him, even though I haven't really noticed..."

Harry groaned, practically throwing himself against the floor. "How have you survived this long, are you kidding me?"

Nicky threw up his arms. "I notice people's feelings and emotions when they're not tailored towards me, like since when do people like me, that never happens!" 

Harry blinked, his voice small. "But I liked you."

Nicky gave him an apologetic smile. "Harry, I've known since the day you saw me trying to break into the vending machine in your dad's office's break room, and that was about three days after I officially introduced myself to you and you weren't even paying attention to me then."

Harry walked towards his desk, picking up a notebook, mumbling something about how he was paying attention, he just didn't want Nicky to know he was, jokes on him, he always paid attention to Nicky, and the man just smiled.

"So this guy likes you and he knows that you like him, but neither of you are gonna do anything about it?" Phillip asked, making a face, "Maybe now's not the right time?"

"Don't be a killjoy," Flash said, nudging him with his foot, and the boy protested, trying to say his piece, and Nicky chimed in.

"No, I agree with Phillip, maybe now's just not the best time, Harry," he said, looking over towards the blond who was frowning, clearly thinking, his eyes narrowed towards the group in general, "I mean, I'm just surprised that he even likes me at all, let alone romantically."

That was something that Nicky was working on by himself that he never really brought up with many people, but it was his desperate need to be liked by everyone. It was difficult in his line of work to be liked by his patients, but he liked to think he was doing a good job, and in terms of his side job, he worked incredibly hard to stay on the good sides of all of his employers and various business partners, he hated the idea of enemies, but loathed the idea of people just, generally, disliking him.

He was working on it, though, and he was surprised to find that he didn't care much about the fact that an eleven-year-old boy didn't like him. Remy Walsh, a boy that Tony had found himself spending a great deal of time with, along with the boy's mother, the kid hadn't really found Nicky to be anything special, nor worth his time nor kindness, and it didn't bother Nicky much to know that the boy didn't like him. It wasn't even up to interpretation, it had been stated many times that Remy just didn't like Nicky, and he was  okay with that, he truly was, so he liked to think that was progress.

So he didn't necessarily need to pursue a relationship with Sam, he was already content to know the man liked him.

But that isn't to say that Nicky didn't, deep down, truly want to be in a relationship with Sam. He had wanted to be in a romantic relationship with him for the better part of the last five years, perhaps even longer, if he were truly thinking about it. There were seldom few people that he wanted to be in a romantic relationship with, and only two that he felt that he could feel any sexual attraction to, and Sam had fallen into the former category and, perhaps with time, could find himself also in the second, but he would never know if he never had the chance to actually cultivate a relationship with him.

So, yes, Nicky desperately wanted to date Sam Wilson, but none of this was new.

It wasn't until he finally finished his train of thought that Nicky realized Harry had resumed speaking.

"—because you deserve to be happy, it's not fair that you constantly have to just be okay with what you have, I mean, the closest you've gotten to finally getting what you wanted was Rhett, and even then, you had wanted to be in a romantic relationship with him—don't lie, I know you were even after the whole platonic partner thing—so I just want you to get what you want, and all of it this time. Just this once."

Nicky blinked, staring at the boy who had gotten really into his argument, running his hands through his hair, taking deep breaths, and Nicky suddenly had a vision of Harry taking over his father's business, and being successful in all the ways his father was and more, because Harry had more heart than he liked to let on, but the same ability to be genuinely detached like the profession required, and he felt a sudden swell of pride, as well as a need to do whatever it took to make the boy feel as though he could actually be successful in doing something he wanted to.

"You really want to do this?" he asked, glancing over at all the teenagers who were smiling at Harry brightly; Flash might have had tears in his eyes, but Nicky hadn't looked at him long enough.

Harry nodded earnestly. "You saved my life, Nicky. I will do anything for you."

How could he say no to that?

º º º

Nicky wasn't actually allowed to know most of the plan, but from what he heard, it was going to be terrifying and he didn't know how much he trusted these fifteen-year-olds, now that he thought about it.

Rhett laughed when he told him. 

The blond was doubled over on his bed, his laughter bordering on cackles that filled his small room, drowning out Nicky's loud protests, pulling the smaller man into his arms and just holding him close, though his grip was practically nonexistent, too weak with laughter.

"You're..." he wheezed, cackling louder, "Trusting...children! With your...love life?" He shouted the last word, falling back into a fit of laughter, "Nicky! This is gonna be so bad!"

Nicky spluttered, hitting him with a pillow. "Harry just gets really excited, you know? His plans are really dramatic and far fetched, but he had a great first date with Johnny and he just wants it to be super great, but since when are firsts ever great?"

Rhett shrugged. "Eh...Steve's first time was with me, and I think that was pretty great."

Nicky scoffed, hitting him with the pillow. "You're living an actual fanfiction, you actually don't count, okay? Some of us are stuck with our awful, plain normal lives where we're over twenty-one and still haven't had our first kiss and don't conform to societal standards of who we should be attracted to, let alone the fact that we don't really find sex all that appealing unless we're like really emotionally attached to that person, but in a healthy way, not in an unhealthy way and..." he trailed off, making a sound in the back of his throat before finally ending with, "We're not all screwing Captain America, get over yourself!"

Rhett burst out laughing, once again tugging Nicky back into a hug, and the man just took it, shaking his head and whining about how much he wanted this to go well, for the sake of the kids.

"You know," Rhett sighed, finally composing himself, "I think it'll be fine. Tomorrow's Saturday, that's when it's gonna go down?"

Nicky nodded. "Yeah, which is not enough time considering some of the plans they have...I bet they've already scrapped them, what do I know anymore, right?"

Rhett snorted, but tried to remain serious. "But honestly, I think we need to give them some credit. They're pretty smart kids, I'm sure they're coming up with something really great and we'll be surprised."

º º º

The group of teens were all gathered at Diana and Flash's apartment, as it was the closest to their school, eating snacks and piled onto Diana's bed, trying to come up with ideas.

"When my dad tried to get back with my mom, he sent her flowers, then a lot of chocolates, then some lawyers, then she got a new car..." Phillip explained, trailing off after a moment, "Yeah, I don't think that applies here."

Harry stared at him with pursed lips. "Yeah, sorry, Phillip, sorry about your parents, though..."

The boy waved his hand. "Eh, it's fine, I'm still heir apparent to my dad's business, it's whatever." He glanced around, shrugging. "Other ideas?"

"What about a puppy?" Peter offered, "There's pet shop a few blocks away by this one alley..." he trailed off, sharing a look with Diana.

"Why are we being so superficial?" Gwen scoffed, "No offense, Harry, I know you're working on it, but maybe Nicky should say something from his heart, or prepare something because maybe he freezes up, I don't know him at all."

"Or he could sing," Aurora offered, "You said they were in show choir together, that could be something nostalgic and cute."

"Or maybe he could play the song through a stereo while reciting the words," Diana offered, "Or, you know, holding up those cards in those movies."

"But will that get Sam to go out with him?" Gwen asked, "Because we already know he likes him."

"He should just get jacked, like, Captain America jacked," Flash suggested.

"But what about all those movies where the person's like close to death, so they fall in love or something?" Peter countered, buried underneath the covers next to Flash, "Nicky could pull it off, maybe."

"He should just get pregnant," Diana sighed, shaking her head.

"Guys," Harry interrupted, "We gotta pick something, all these ideas work in the movies, but how're we gonna make sure that Sam'll actually go out with him?"

Johnny, who had been quiet the entire time, very uncharacteristic of him in actuality, spoke up from where he was sitting in the corner. "Why don't you try all of them?"

º º º

Nicky was beyond terrified.

As per the instructions of Harry, he had texted Sam, telling him to meet him in Times Square to just hang out and waste some time, something that Nicky honestly couldn't afford if not for the fact that all his patients were in on the plan, so they just moved their appointments. 

It was incredibly convenient how flexible his job was, honestly.

So there he was, waiting in Times Square on a Saturday afternoon, people milling all around him, though he could still see a few of the teenagers around him, pretending to not be paying any notice to him.

This was going to crash and burn. Rhett had forced him to hack into live feeds and send out the untraceable drones he had created in order to record every moment and angle of the entire situation. 

"Hey, princess!"

Nicky's stomach lurched when he heard Sam's voice, and he whirled around to see Sam jogging towards him. He smiled, his hand instinctively moving up towards the earpiece that Harry insisted they all wear, hoping that he wouldn't be caught.

This was more like an assassination attempt than a wooing, but that was just Nicky's perspective.

"What's the plan, princess?" Sam asked, still smiling at him, and Nicky was completely frozen, just staring up at him.

He took a deep breath, glancing around at the teens were all getting into position. "I-I mean...I don't really know? Uh...Harry had something really cool he wanted to show us, so we're here to see that, I guess, I honestly have no idea what is going on, but you know, thought it'd be fun."

"Nicky, that's so off script, what the hell?" Harry screeched into his ear, "Whatever, just go with the plan, guys!"

Nicky just continued to smile at Sam, probably looking more crazed than calm, seeing Diana lift a boombox above her head in his peripheral vision, loud romantic music playing over the speakers as she made her way towards them; she had made it abundantly clear she didn't want people recognizing her, which was why she was also wearing a black wig and large sunglasses.

Sam raised an eyebrow, glancing over at her. "That's weird...is that part of the surprise?"

Before he could try to come up with a response, people around them were gasping, all pointing towards the signs. Nicky looked up and groaned as he caught sight of plain text appearing on all the electronic signs, people reading them out loud as the music played louder.

'SAM.'

'ROSES ARE RED.'

'VIOLETS ARE BLUE.'

'I'M KIND OF A LOSER.'

'BUT SO ARE YOU.'

Two pairs of screaming and cursing filled Nicky's ear, followed by Peter's hysteric, "This is the wrong one, this was the one that we were messing around with last night while we were trying to think, oh God!"

"I'm blaming you for this, Parker," Flash hissed, "We're gonna get arrested!"

"You didn't think of that before we did this?" Peter shot back.

"Just roll with it," Harry interrupted, "What can we do?"

"I'm gonna send out the drones," Johnny said, and Peter tried to shout at him to stop, but by then it was too late.

While the kids all panicked in the background, Diana still holding up the boombox and everyone still reading the words on the boards that got progressively stranger—'I'M REALLY JACKED NOW.' and 'BUT I ALSO HAVE CANCER.' and 'I'M ALSO PREGNANT.'—Nicky tried to save the situation, tugging on Sam's arm.

"So how're you?" he tried to ask, needing to shout over all the noise.

Sam raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. "I could be better, but I'm good. How 'bout you, princess, you ever rethink your choices in underage friends?"

Nicky scoffed and made a swipe for his foot. "Shut up. Honestly, I don't even know what they're doing at this point."

Sam turned back towards the billboard, raising his eyebrows. "Yeah, I don't think they do either."

Nicky looked up towards the billboards, doing a double take when he saw the screens filled with memes people had made of Sam as the Falcon with captions such as, "Falcon and The Black Panther?" when it showed a video of Sam swooping up on his wings to rescue a kitten from a tree.

"I need to get out of here," Sam sang low under his voice, adjusting his cap and glasses, "What are your kids doing?"

Nicky opened and closed his mouth, shaking his head, jumping when he heard a loud shriek. "A dog bit me!"

"I'm so sorry!" Aurora's voice rose above the crowd, "Here, let me help you—" She cut herself off with a pained yelp, something colliding with her head. 

Nicky looked up as he heard more and more people shouting in pain to find bouquets of roses and boxes of chocolates falling from drones that were adjacent to the tall electronic billboards on top of the buildings.

"It's too high, Johnny, you're hurting everyone!" Peter cried into the earpieces.

"We don't know how to change that, we're just loading them up!" Phillip shouted back, the sound of Johnny scrambling to stop the drones in the background.

Nicky yelped as Sam grabbed his arm and tugged him against his chest, saving him from getting hit in the head with a bouquet of extremely thorny roses. He took a few deep breaths, clinging onto Sam, the two just staring down at the thorny bouquet, then up at the people screaming and rushing around.

Then the synthetic rain began, Diana's boombox caught on fire, and the dog bit Nicky's ankle.

The last thing Nicky remembered before he was being swept away by Sam was the sound of Harry's voice in his earpiece, just before it fell out. "Everyone scatter, I can fix this. Hey, dad—"

º º º

Nicky and Sam were sitting in a booth in a bar in the East Village, Nicky's foot in a wrap and his entire being ready to melt into the floor and never return.

After a few minutes of silence—or more like hours, if counted with the time that they had to wait to get Nicky's wound checked out—Sam finally spoke, "You wanna tell me what the hell just went on out there?"

Nicky cleared his throat. "You know, I think it's best if you just jump to conclusions."

Sam pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows, picking up his beer. "Ah."

Nicky groaned, dropping his head onto the table. "I'm sorry, Harry just gets...he wants to show his love in other ways besides spending money and he gets carried away. And the kids just like to have fun."

Sam nodded, still pursing his lips. After a few moments, he asked, "You put your dating life in the hands of a bunch of teenagers?"

Nicky threw up his arms. "That's why Rhett said, and I didn't want to, but I thought they might surprise me, and I couldn't say no to Harry, he really wanted to help."

Sam snorted. "It's all over the news, the mayor had an emergency press conferences to explain that it was just the work of some 'excitable teenagers,' who didn't mean any harm."

Nicky sighed and lowered his gaze, shaking his head. He glanced back up at Sam who was looking at him over the lip of his beer bottle. Sam's eyes squinted into a smile and Nicky bit his lip, starting to laugh. Then Sam was lowering his bottle and his head, shoulders shaking as he wheezed out a laugh, the two falling into a fit as it went on, falling onto the seats of their booth, ignoring all the stares coming from some of the people around them, their laughs echoing through the small room.

As the two continued to laugh, struggling to calm down, but not really wanting to, a group of teens made their way to the bar where their GPS was leading them to, laughing and joking about their day, regaling it to the three other teenagers they had recruited on the way there.

Harry Osborn led the group towards the window where they peered inside, searching for Nicky, all of them perking up when they saw him laughing with Sam Wilson, leaned against his side, drinks in hand.

One of the girls moved towards the window, not seeming to be cold in her cropped shirt and leggings. "He seems like he's doing pretty well. Why'd you need our help?"

The other girl moved to see as well, tugging her sweater sleeves over her hands. "They wanted new perspective. Are they on a date right now?"

Diana shook her head, butting in, "I don't think so, after what went down, I think this is where he has to explain himself."

The newest boy they had recruited moved away from where he had his arm around Flash, peering in. "Huh. No, I don't think they really need any help. I mean, look at how that guy's looking at him. Just takes time."

He looked up at Harry, giving the boy a reassuring smile; out of all of them, Harry was the only one who hadn't been able to laugh after the fiasco. "Quit beating yourself up about it. He doesn't look mad."

Harry sighed. "Just wanted to do something to help him. Only made it worse."

"Hey," the first girl said, glancing over at Johnny who had moved to hug Harry from behind, having to stand on his tiptoes to try and be taller. 

"Don't be like that. You didn't make it worse. I think it just didn't go the way you planned it to, but look," she motioned towards the window, "I think they're getting there. C'mon, let's go back to your place, we'll raid your dad's fridge."

Harry laughed softly, nodding towards his friends who all cheered, starting back towards Harry's penthouse, pausing when they all realized he wasn't following them. Only a few feet away, they all looked at him, Johnny closer than the rest, waiting for him.

Harry took a deep breath as he watched Sam throw an arm around Nicky, whispering something in his ear that had the smaller man burying his face in his hands, smiling.

Harry smiled, though his heart ached. Nicky had trusted him, and he had made it this far. Now he had to trust Nicky to get there himself.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This is all loosely based around that one episode of Camp Camp. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. If you don't...watch Camp Camp, it's hilarious and also really woke despite what it might seem, it's a great webseries.

Also, meet basically all the teenagers that exist in this universe. The three that showed up in the end are Matthew Mitty, Sabine Kawahara, and Wyatt Gilborn, the love interests for Flash, Michelle, and Liz respectively.

Also, let it be known that I stopped keeping track of what the actual date in this story is in, but it's after February and before the end of April, so let's just pretend that it's the end of March, beginning of April, okay? Like, a lot of time has passed since then because I have referenced WEEKS but let's just roll with it, okay?