“

let it hurt until it can't hurt anymore.

”

Liam Ryan.

ARIEL wished she hadn't woken up the moment her eyes opened.

Her head pounded painfully and any deep breath she took made her chest feel tight and her nose run.

And at that same moment a warm yet wet towel landed on her forehead, making her jerk up and causing the towel to fall on her lap and her chest to explode in pain.

She hugged herself, wrapping her arms around herself and looked at the side of the bed. Her grey eyes meeting Agape's dark orbs.

"So you're awake," Agape pointed out the obvious and took the towel off Ariel's lap. Soaked it in the water from a small bowl, squeezed out the excess water and without waiting for the towel to cool down - like she had previously done - she dabbed the hot towel against Ariel's skin.

"Ouch!" Ariel yelled out in pain and once again her chest felt tight and it felt like she couldn't breathe.

"You could have died," Agape said flatly, refusing to let any emotion slip into her voice. That only showed how pissed she was. "You fell asleep in a fucking bathtub. Do you know how many people that has killed? A lot. But your lucky ass has me and now you're alive."

"I'm sorry," she croaked, her voice sounding hoarse, "I didn't mean to, I just-"

"You know, when you first left your little sister for Nick, I knew this day was going to come. You refused to see his flaws - only his perfections," Agape scoffed, "that's not love. That's insanity. Your relationship was never healthy but I never threatened you to break up with him. It's your life, I told myself. You should be able to make your own mistakes, I told myself. But look at you now."

Ariel clenched her fists. "Oh, save me the lecture, miss perfect. At least I could leave my mistake, yours is attached to you for the rest of your life," it was a low blow. Bringing up Jasper was never her intention but maybe it was because she wanted a reaction from Agape.

She wanted Agape to admit she never wanted Jasper. Because Ariel never needed Nick, but she wanted him.

Badly.

Agape's eyes darkened and the towel that Agape had used to warm her up was gone. Agape stood up from Ariel's bed and on the inside Ariel was screaming.

Don't go, please. I didn't mean it. I need you.

"I'm not you. I love my son, I don't idolise him. I won't stand by and watch you call my son a mistake. You're my best friend but I have a line and you've crossed it. Whenever you feel like talking, I'll be here. But till then, I'm leaving."

And she left Ariel's bedroom. And she never once looked back

×××

Ariel knew deep down that she loved the idea of loving Nick. She loved the way he had everything planned out for her. Her entire life was planned out whenever he was with her.

Ariel had always been disorganised. She believed that anything that life gave her was what she would take. But in high school when he asked out invisible Ariel, she could believe it.

People looked at Agape, never Ariel. Agape had - and still has - natural and eye catching black beauty that she had passed down to her son. Most people never looked at her strawberry blonde best friend.

Nick liked her. Not Agape, that said a lot. When they started dating he was a control freak, but Ariel didn't care. He had everything planned out for her. It was like everyday was a schedule that she had to complete successfully.

Maybe that was why it hurt her so much. She had been so dependent on him that for the first time in her life that she's been left independent she didn't know what to do.

There was no one to command her about. Force her to do things she wasn't comfortable with.

No one was dragging her back. She was free. She wasn't caged.

She hated hurting people around her, especially Agape. Because she and Agape had been through hell and back together. They knew pain, they knew regret.

But Agape didn't carry extra luggage. Agape loved Jasper, she was proud of him.

Jasper wasn't Agape's baggage. She had let go of the baggage she carried on her shoulders when she had him. He was her pride. He was what she lived for.

Ariel had nothing to live for, nothing that wasn't Nick. She lived to please him - that was what she told herself. But now she had finished pleasing him and he didn't need her anymore.

What was next?

Deep down, she knew what was next. She just didn't want to admit it.

She was going to find something else to live for. Something that didn't bondage her, that didn't make her carry pain - something that wouldn't damage her.

And that thing she was going to live for, was herself.

No more being the second option. Or the slave. It was time for her to move on to bigger and greater things.

It was the last thing she needed to do to get over her past - because Nick had asked her to do so with his own mouth.

And as always. She could never stop fulfilling Nick's wishes.

But this time, it was a goodbye wish.