Maybe it's really for the best. Everything must come to an end eventually anyway. I don't want to trouble a man who's heart already belonged to another. I don't want to pain somebody's heart because I love the guy she loved for the first time. I'd hate to be the antagonist of a perfect love story. I call myself the best friend, but I am nothing but a confusion, a distraction, a painful emotion.

I really should stop. This is not the best way to deal with things. I shouldn't even deal with things that aren't mine to deal with. Maybe one day, I'd find myself the happiness I truly wanted. There's no reason to try hard, this affection would then perish into nothingness. All I have to do is wait and hopefully I'd find meaning to emotions again. I knew I'd never really forget, to move on from a feeling that lasted for God knows how long, but at least I'm trying to keep myself from the humiliation of being a third party to someone else's happiness. At least I'm guarding myself from a bigger heartbreak one way or another.

Let's just say, I'm erasing myself from your life for a month. It'd give us both a refreshing option, a stop button, a pause to whatever it is that's making us complicated as hell.

All I wanted was happiness but it gives me pain whenever I think I'm happy just by knowing you're happy with another. I'm sorry for sounding very selfish, but this is the only remedy I can think of, for I cannot share my thoughts to people I think would never understand.

I'll be happy after this, trust me.