Hey, before anything else, let me tell you why you should've never liked me.

From the start, I always had my fill of failures. I am an easily troubled person, a naughty one at that. Masks are essentially useful in my conquest for happiness, but certainly I, myself, grow tired with all of it every once in a while.

You should've never picked me.

Words are not enough to describe how funny I look at myself in the mirror. The girl scarred for life blinked at me and smiled because she thought I was perfect. No. No. She's perfect. She's a representation of someone who thinks that everything will be alright. Happiness doesn't have to be physical. I'm happy seeing the girl in front of me smiling and laughing and absolutely very happy. Indeed, in another dimension, perhaps she finally reached absolute happiness.

I prayed everyday for that to happen to me too.

I messed up. I know. I always think too much of everything. Too much. I know. That's the way stuff happens everytime for me. I'm so messed up in the inside. Anxiety made me this problematic. Sometimes I'm optimistic but sometimes I'm not. I hate living but feared death to my very core. Every door of life made me this vulnerable. I am a messed up person. Now, tell me, are you still willing to like me?

Before anything else, let me tell you how much I hate myself too.

Perhaps you know my temper already. It's not worth mentioning, but I fear it's quite necessary to say this out today. Growing up, I thought I was the most level headed person in the world. Yet one thing led to another, and I became this miserable life form I'm so hell bent on exposing today. Perhaps I had my head shaken up or something, but that's irrelevant simply because everything's done.

I am a bad person. I knew that from the start 'til now. But being with you made me finally want to be good. Being with you made me feel so free. Being with you made me think I'm finally reaching the surface. You're one of the reasons I stopped drowning in sadness. You.

I really, really like you simply because you're you.

Now, now. You might think I'm beginning to become absolutely weird and that I'm exaggerating everything, but it's the truth. These walls I built, these were for defense against people who wanted to stay and make me feel happy yet leaves me hanging in the end. Yet why is it that I'm willing to tear down these walls just to talk to you even though I know it's superficial to think you wanted to talk to a worthless me too?

After everything is said, I just wanted to really just say that I'm really happy I became your friend.

Everything is blurry. I did my best to resist the urge of liking you far too much. But there are stuff I simply cannot change.

Please, I really want you to stay.