soobin's breath came in sharp, uneven gasps as he jolted awake, his entire body rigid, drenched in sweat, his heart hammering against his ribs so hard it felt like it might burst. the room was dark, but it didn't feel comforting. it felt suffocating. the walls seemed to press in, the shadows stretching and curling in ways that made his skin crawl. his hands trembled as he clutched at the blanket, fingers gripping the fabric so tightly that his knuckles turned white. his lungs burned as he tried to take in air, but it wasn't enough. it was never enough.

his mind was still tangled in the nightmare, trapped in the lingering remnants of something dark, something suffocating, something cold. he couldn't remember the details, not fully, but flashes of it flickered through his mind like broken film reels. a faceless figure, a crushing weight on his chest, the feeling of falling into nothing, screaming but making no sound. it was terrifying, a fear that latched onto his bones and refused to let go.

beside him, the bed shifted as yeonjun stirred, his warmth shifting under the covers. he let out a soft, sleepy hum, barely conscious, but then he felt the way soobin was shaking. his eyes fluttered open, hazy with sleep, but the second he saw soobin, the way his chest was rising and falling too fast, the panic written all over his face, he was wide awake.

"soobin?" yeonjun's voice was thick with sleep but soft, careful, like he was afraid any sudden movement would make it worse. he reached out, fingers brushing against soobin's arm, but soobin flinched, his entire body jerking back like he had been burned.

yeonjun's heart clenched. he had seen soobin like this before, had held him through panic attacks before, but it never got easier. seeing soobin whom he loved so much struggling like this, barely able to breathe. it broke him. but he didn't let that show. soobin needed him to be strong. he needed to be gentle, to be steady, to be something solid in the midst of the storm raging inside soobin's mind.

"baby, it's okay," yeonjun whispered, voice dripping with warmth, with love. "it's just me. you're safe."

soobin's breath hitched, his fingers digging into his own thighs, trying to ground himself, trying to focus, but everything was spinning too fast. he couldn't stop it. he was drowning, suffocating, and no matter how hard he tried to breathe, it still wasn't working.

yeonjun sat up fully, his concern deepening. "binnie, can you look at me?" he asked softly, his hand hovering, unsure if he should touch soobin again. he didn't want to overwhelm him. he needed to take this slow.

soobin couldn't look at him. he was shaking too hard, his body betraying him, his thoughts spiraling. his heartbeat was erratic, his chest too tight, his throat closing up.

yeonjun exhaled slowly, trying to think. he needed to bring him back. "okay, baby, just listen to me," he said, keeping his voice soft, gentle. "breathe with me, okay? just follow my lead."

he took in a deep breath, slow and steady, exaggerating the motion so soobin could see. he held it for a few seconds, then exhaled just as slowly. he did it again, and again, waiting, hoping soobin would follow.

soobin tried. he really did. he tried to copy yeonjun, tried to inhale deeply, but his breath hitched halfway through, and he let out a choked sob, his body curling in on itself. he felt so weak, so pathetic. he hated this. hated feeling so helpless.

yeonjun's heart broke at the sound. he couldn't take it anymore. carefully, he moved closer, wrapping his arms around soobin, pulling him against his chest. soobin tensed at first, but yeonjun just held him tighter, one hand rubbing slow, soothing circles on his back.

"shhh, it's okay," he murmured, pressing his lips against soobin's temple. "i've got you. i've got you."

soobin's hands trembled as they fisted into yeonjun's shirt, clinging desperately. his face was buried in yeonjun's shoulder, his breathing still erratic, but something about yeonjun's warmth, the way he was holding him so securely, so gently, made it just a little easier to breathe.

yeonjun kept whispering sweet nothings, his lips brushing against soobin's hair, his forehead, his cheek. "you're safe. you're with me. nothing's going to hurt you." his fingers traced soothing patterns against soobin's back, grounding him, reminding him that he wasn't alone.

soobin squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on yeonjun, on the steady beat of his heart, on the warmth of his arms. his breathing was still uneven, but he could feel it slowly, slowly settling.

yeonjun pulled back just enough to cup soobin's face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the stray tears that had slipped down his cheeks. "there you are," he murmured, smiling softly. "my pretty boy."

soobin let out a shaky breath, swallowing hard. his eyes were still glassy, his face still pale, but the panic was fading, little by little.

yeonjun leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to soobin's forehead. then his nose. then the corner of his mouth. each touch was gentle, slow, filled with nothing but love.

soobin let out a quiet, shaky laugh, barely more than a breath. "you're so cheesy," he mumbled, voice hoarse. 

yeonjun grinned, pressing another kiss to soobin's cheek. "you love it."

soobin didn't deny it. instead, he leaned into yeonjun's touch, letting his head rest against his shoulder again. exhaustion was creeping back in, making his body feel heavy, but this time, it wasn't terrifying. he wasn't scared to sleep. not with yeonjun holding him like this.

yeonjun pulled the blankets back over them, keeping his arms wrapped securely around soobin. "just sleep, baby," he whispered, pressing another kiss to his hair. "i'll keep you safe. i promise."

soobin let out a soft hum, his fingers curling into yeonjun's shirt, not out of panic this time, but love.

yeonjun didn't sleep right away. even when soobin's breathing evened out, when his body finally relaxed into him, yeonjun stayed awake, holding him close, pressing soft kisses to his forehead every now and then just to remind himself that soobin was okay. nights like this always left a dull ache in his chest. knowing that soobin had to go through something so terrifying, knowing he couldn't just take the pain away. but he could do this. 

he could hold him through it. he could be here, steady and unwavering, a constant presence when everything else felt like it was crumbling around soobin. he could kiss his temple and whisper that he was safe, that he was loved, that no matter how dark the night got, he would always be here to hold him through it.

 and as he tightened his arms around soobin just a little more, feeling the soft rise and fall of his chest, he knew he'd do this for as many nights as it took. forever, if that's what soobin needed.