It's scary how quickly time flies. Amidst our crazy academic work and practice, days rolled away from cold December to colder and drier January.

Tension rifed both on ground and in the labs. We leave for home with sore muscles and spend the nights programming and not having enough sleep.

Vamsi and I applied to different universities in states for our M.S amidst all this chaos.

Pongal is only a few days away and I can't wait for it to arrive so we can finally get the match with BITM out of our systems and shift all our energy back to the project.

The constant pressure of lagging behind the other teams is an added bonus. Vamsi and I are the only people from our class to be a part of the Cricket team and both of us taking extra time for practice puts us behind the others.

Thankfully Vineet is doing more than his bit in sharing the responsibilities. With two members running off for practice and one running after one of the two members, he is the only one left behind.

If I thought college life was crazy in the last three years, these past few weeks have set a new benchmark.

Neha's constant complaints about Anila and Vamsi's ridiculous smile makes me long for the days prior to Nisha; when everything was simple and my mind was strictly one directional.

Now when I look at him, the kiss that haunted my dreams is also a part of my daydreams. It became a constant thought in my mind triggered by every smile he sends my way.

How did I go from seeing him as a friend to wanting a lot more from him?

The incessant war between feeling guilty and being confused is not what I need right now.

But no matter what I told myself, my thoughts have a mind of their own and wander to unchartered territories that I'm not ready to accept. Yet.

Inspite of all that, what bugs me the most is Vamsi making decisions of his own where we both are concerned without intimating me.

That wasn't a problem before because there was no third person then.

The changes he made regarding the project are something I cooperated though I didn't like them; which mostly involved reducing Nisha's work because apparently she's not capable of working as quickly as I am.

I can accept extra work because he wants to impress her but now he wants her to join our Pongal shopping.

One day.

I thought I finally got one whole day with him after spending weeks in everyone's company. But guess, I can't even expect that any more.

Still, I got ready and waited for him to pick me up.

"How much money do you need?" Nanna asked taking his purse out of his pocket as I tied the laces of my shoes on the sofa.

"I don't know. Whatever you think I need" I replied distractedly.

"Give her 5K" Amma answered and he raised his eyebrows.

"She may not even get 2 pairs for that"

"There's New year - Pongal sale going on almost everywhere"

"What if-----"

"It will be enough nanna" I intervened, standing up.

He placed ten 500 Rupee notes in my palm and I pocketed them after counting and waited for Vamsi to arrive.

Ten minutes later, I heard his bullet and rushed into my room to unplug my phone from charger.

Amma stood at the doorway as I gazed at my mirror, finger combing my forelocks.

"Will the money be enough?"

"Of course" I replied, taking the phone out.

"You will be leaving in a few months and god knows, you need more clothes. Take this" She said handing me a couple of five hundred rupee notes.

Surprised, I said slowly "It's ok, Amma. What I have is enough"

"I know how much girls your age want to buy pretty things. If you like something, get it. Tops, shirts, lingerie. Whatever you need"

Holding the money in my hand, I grinned and hugged her "Thank you"

"Don't save it for your kiddy bank"

"Ok" I said, giving her a sloppy kiss on her cheek making her laugh "Mad girl!"

I counted the money as I sprinted out of the house where I found Nanna chatting up with Vamsi.

Vamsi grinned seeing me "Someone's happy"

Ignoring him, I got on the bullet when Nanna took out a few more five hundred rupee notes.

My eyes widened knowing what's going to happen.

"I don't need more" I said quickly but he took my hand out, placed the money and closed my palm.

"Buy more. Don't worry about Amma. I will talk to her"

Getting out of the bullet, I gave my father the same reaction I gave to my mother.

He laughed and waved "Go slow. And have fun"

"Looks like someone's going to have a lot of shopping to do today" Vamsi commented as the houses blurred and we raced forward.

"Let's see"

"How much did you get?"

"First Nanna gave 5K. Then Amma gave 3.5K in my bedroom without telling Nanna. And then Nanna gave additional 4K without telling Amma"

He laughed "Probably cause they knew you'll save up half of it"

I smiled thinking of their sweet gesture. Times like these make up for the loneliness of not having a sibling.

"How much money did you bring?"

"I didn't. There's this thing called debit card, you know" he said sarcastically.

"Rich kids" I grumbled.

"Your parents earn as much as my dad does" He pointed out.

"Hey, I'm not the one having unlimited budget for my shopping"

As our bullet raced past Yendada, I realized one thing. The only way I can pass this day without being the third wheel is if we have company.

With the decision being made, I called Neha and asked her to meet us at Central, Maddilapalem.

Fifteen minutes after waiting at the mall entrance, Nisha finally arrived, looking stunning as usual in a red top, white leggings and heels.

If there is any makeup, it's minimal.

With four inches added to her height, she looked almost my height. At 5'10", Vamsi is 2.5 inches taller than me while Nisha is atleast 4 inches shorter than me.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting" she apologized, throwing her white sling bag on her shoulder.

Vamsi smiled "It's alright. We didn't have anything to do anyway"

Of course. It's not like we are here for shopping!

"Hi Anjali" she greeted, giving me one of her lovely smiles.

"Hey" I said awkwardly. I wanted to add what's up to make it cool but I never knew what to reply when someone says that to me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming too. Though it's my mistake I should have known as you two go everywhere together" She said, chuckling at the second part.

"Yeah. Buy one get one free" I said plainly. Bad joke.

But she laughed.

The mall is so crowded it seems half of Vizag is out which means we are not the only ones doing last minute shopping.

Upon Nisha's insistence, we went To Max first.

Amma is right about the offers but there's people everywhere. Men, women, kids. I am not sure if there will be enough oxygen supply for us with people jamming every nook and crevice of the small space.

There's no way I'm getting into the eye of that tornado.

Somehow, Nisha managed to squeeze into the groups and reached the men's section unscathed.

I gaped at her in horror and she shouted "What are you two still doing there? Come on in"

"You coming?" Vamsi said, holding out his hand for me.

I shook my head violently "I will wait here for Neha. If there's anything you like, well, you get it"

He narrowed his eyes "You are not going to select for me?"

I almost said he didn't bother asking me before inviting Nisha, but I don't want to sound petty so I simply said "I don't think there's any good stuff left"

As if on cue, my mobile rang and I escaped outside.

"Where are you?" I shouted into the phone.

"Ooh, someone's bitchy. What's got into you?"

"It's so noisy" I grumbled in annoyance.

"I'm at Reliance Trends. Where are you?"

"Upstairs. Outside Max"

Two minutes later, she stood beside me staring at the store's board with interest "What exactly are we doing here?"

"Waiting for Vamsi and Nisha to realize their search is futile"

"Angel is here?" She yelled.

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Vamsi invited her" I answered coolly.

"So you asked me to join you so you won't be a third wheel?"

Shit, she's smart. "Yes"

"Not because you remembered me?" Her voice sounded amusing.

"Actually I remembered you when we passed by Yendada"

She sighed "You should learn to lie, sister"

"Why?"

"Why lie or why learn?"

"Both"

"Because people don't like the truth but don't want you to lie"

"That's confusing"

"Here they come!" She said and ten seconds later, they came out with empty hands.

"Found nothing?" I asked with a smirk.

Vamsi scowled.

Nisha smiled "Let's go to Reliance trends"

Downstairs the crowd is thicker but luckily, there are fewer people inside the store. First we checked Men's wear where Nisha decided there's nothing new, so we went to the girls' section.

It took me exactly twenty minutes to decide what I am purchasing.

"You're done already?" Nisha asked in surprsie.

"She actually took more time because the girls at the shelves aren't moving as quickly as she is" Vamsi snickered.

"Won't you try them?"

"They will be alright" I answered with a shrug. Having bought clothes in this brand before, I know what size fits me. There's no point in waiting an hour for trail rooms and another hour to decide.

"May be you should not be so quick. We are going to other malls after this" Nisha pressed on.

"Why?" I asked in confusion.

She looked entertained "What if you like something else there?"

"If I like something already here, why should I go to another shop?"

Neha laughed "This girl won't know. Let her buy whatever she likes, Nisha"

Am I the only one with a sane mind here?

With a scowl, I turned around to leave and found Vamsi gazing at Nisha with a fond look on his face.

Euggghhhhh!!

After waiting fifteen minutes at the cash counter, I paid up for my clothes. By then Neha got a kurta and legging while Nisha still stayed confused.

Bored by it, I settled on the glass desk at the display counters waiting for her to decide and hating myself for not saying 'No' to Vamsi about today.

One salesman came to my spot and politely said "Madam, you can't sit here"

"There are no chairs"

"I'm sorry ma'am but you still can't sit here"

With an annoying sigh, I leapt out but quickly reclaimed my seat when he retreated.

For another fifteen minutes, Nisha went back and forth between a sheer black top and black & white formal shirt while I pretended the salesman isn't glaring at my back.

"I like this. But I'll decide after we go to Shopperstop" She said finally and I sighed in relief, getting off the blasted glass desk.

Then, we went for lunch.

Inspite of the festival season, Shopperstop is chic and classy with fewer customers than our previous establishment.

Neha is delighted with the cosmetic counters on the ground floor. I'm pretty sure I heard the word 'heaven' leave her lips as soon as we entered.

"This is really good" Nisha cheered excitedly seeing a jacket on the mannequin immediately after we stepped foot in the men's section.

Jacket? I've never seen anyone wear one even during winter days in Vizag climate.

It looked really good on him when he put it on but he voiced the same doubt I did.

"Winter nights are cold even here. You might need them for your date nights" she said shyly, gazing up at him with a smile.

"If you say so" he answered cheekily and I tried real hard not to roll my eyes but Neha made up for me.

"It looks great, trust me"

"I will buy it then"

"No. This will be my gift. Please"

"I can't----"

"Please. For me" She pouted, looking all innocent and lovely.

Who can say no to those puppy dog eyes?

As expected, he relented.

When Nisha went in search of shirts, he turned his attention to me "Look at you. You have been my friend for so long. Have you ever gotten me something?"

He probably didn't mean it seriously but his jibe pricked my heart. Especially with everything's in my head in the last few weeks.

"I never thought there'd come a day when I have to impress you with gifts" I said through clenched teeth, barely controlling my temper.

"Let's go downstairs, Neha. May be we should check those Colorbar nail polishes. We are not needed here anyway" I said, standing up from my waiting chair.

One second I am turning away and the next, I am in his arms.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled slowly "I should not have said that"

"But you did"

"I'm sorry"

"It's not alright" I said, pulling away.

"Forgive me, please. I'm your best friend" he implored.

Knowing what he's trying to do, I said seriously "Well my best friend just questioned our friendship"

"That's not what-----"

I left. Neha quietly followed behind me, not saying a word.

"What was that?" She said excitedly when we reached the ground floor.

"Nothing"

"He hugged you. Doesn't look like nothing" she observed.

"He does that" I said absentmindedly. Realizing what it sounded like, I quickly added "Some times. Rare times"

"I never thought you'd walk away from Vamsi after a fight. That's so not you"

I stayed silent, following her around the cosmetic section.

"You did react too much" She commented lazily "We both know he was just being silly"

"I know" I replied lightly.

"What's wrong Anju?" She said in a serious tone as if suddenly noticing something.

"Nothing"

She pulled me towards the vacant Armani watch section and repeated the question.

When I didn't answer, she said "I won't let you go until you tell me what's wrong. I understand you are not just upset about the question. There's more, isn't it?"

I groaned inwardly. Why won't she let it go?

"I swear it's nothing serious Neha"

"Then tell me. I am your friend too, aren't I?"

What's with everyone using 'Friend' card on me today!

"You are"

"Then tell me. I confess everything about Shaan knowing you are rolling your eyes in your head"

Looking at her sad eyes, I yielded "It's just--- I--"

"I don't like seeing him with her" I said directly.

She gazed at me in surprise for two seconds before her eyes lit up like Christmas lights "Oh My God. You like him"

When I didn't respond, she repeated "You like him"

"I think so. I don't know, I am confused"

"What's there to be confused? You either like him or you don't"

"It's not that simple"

"You don't have to complicate things, Anju. What's bothering you?"

"What if" I began but paused, unable to voice my thoughts without sounding stupid. Deciding against it, I continued "What if I just don't like another woman having his attention?"

"Interesting" She mumbled, mulling over something in her head "Are your thoughts about him strictly platonic or do you think of kissing him or pondering over your usual dream?"

My answer must have been written on my face as she said "Holyshit"

"Since when?" She added curiously.

"Old thoughts have been for years but I succeeded in casting them away. But the new ones---" I paused, looking helplessly at her.

"Since Nisha" she completed for me.

I nodded.

"You should talk to him" she said softly.

"And say what? When I myself don't know how serious this is. My one confession will change everything between us"

Her sad expression makes me wonder if I did the right thing in telling her. I don't want her pity.

"You should buy those nail polishes" I said after a minute.

"You know I love today. I saw things I never thought I'd see"

"Like?"

"Like you reacting too much for silly things and talking boy problems. Like normal girls do." The glint in her eye made me regret my confession already.

Two hours later, they joined us.

Vamsi's pleading eyes is met with my answering glare. His shopping is thankfully done but Nisha wanted to go back to Trends and once again decide between the sheer top and the formal shirt she selected there.

After another hour of wondering pros and cons, she finally selected both; allowing me to breathe again.

This is the longest I have ever been out shopping and I'm exhausted.

"You guys leave. I have to take an auto" Nisha said as we exited the mall.

"Didn't you bring your scooty?" Vamsi asked, taken back. When she shook her head, he said "How did you come in the morning?"

"Daddy dropped me"

"Why didn't you come on your own?" Neha piped in.

"Well, I thought Vamsi is coming alone" She began awkwardly "So I came with dad thinking----"

He'd drop her home, her unspoken words are as clear as water.

Not only did he pick that up, he is more than ready to follow it up "It's alright, I will drop you home"

Before I can respond, Nisha spoke "What about Anjali?"

"It's ok. Neha will drop her, let's go" Saying that, he gave me a nod and strolled into the parking lot.

"Wow" I said to their retreating backs.

"Come, let's go" Neha's tone filled with sadness as she said "It's ok, I will drop you home"

"It's not that. How can he decide without asking me? Forget that. How can he even tell you to drop me without asking you if it's ok"

"He knows it's ok because I am your friend"

"It's easier for you to drop her because she is on your way home. Now you have to come all the way to mine and go back to yours"

"It's ok, Anju" She repeated.

"I don't like this" I mumbled under my breath, following Neha into the lot.

I don't like this at all.

-------

Thank you for reading. Vote, Comment and Share if you like the chapter.

The last two days have been disturbing with news of women being raped and murdered in different locations. 

Instead of concentrating on the issue at hand which is women's safety, as usual it turned into a propaganda to incite communal violence.

To the women reading this, please be extra careful. 

Our society will not acknowledge that the problem lies with how we raise our sons. They still fail to realize that patriarchy, male entitlement and toxic masculinity that we breed in every family is to blame.

For any misdemeanor, mishap or a direct assault, you will be the one blamed. 

So always make sure that you're aware of what's happening in your surroundings. Stay alert, be careful and never let your guard down.

- JANAKI