_So today I thought I would share the greatest love story that I know of and the lessons I learnt from it._

I pray this gives hope to the sisters  who are actively trying to get married through the right sources. Since the process can get a bit tiring I thought I would reiterate the best love story there is. :) ❤

😍 *How Khadija رضي الله عنه  married Muhammad  صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ* 

From the onset of this relationship our mother bibi Khadija was *❝PROACTIVE❞*. She knew what she was looking for, she had rejected previous proposals that did not fit her standards, she was on the look, she knew exactly what she wanted, she wanted an honest, kindhearted, pious, hardworking and dependable man to lead her, to love her and to borne her children.

Even though we are in 2019 some communities still believe that it should be men approaching women. And women approaching men is fast or desperate. When the very first halal love interest story we learn about is the one where the woman initiated the proposal.

Not just any woman. A woman who was previously married. A woman who was a multimillionaire of her time, a woman who would go on to spend her entire wealth supporting the 10 years of dawah in Makkah, a woman who wanted to and got married to _THE MOST AMAZING MAN TO EVER WALK EARTH_ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ , a woman who actively chose a man who was 15 years younger in age.

When we see the halal love interest of our Mother Khadija towards our beloved Prophet in comparison the advise we give to young girls, divorced women, widowed women these days is very negative, shamefull, assumptive and very limiting.

🌸 Top 9 Lessons Ummi Khadija taught me about love:

► Go after the man you love, do not sit and wait for amazing opportunities *ahem men* to pass you by. Don't let his thoughts lead you to anything haram.

If you like someone talk to your parents and opt the halal way.

► To do so through a trusted person with utmost respect, decorum fit for a Muslimah, with class, hikmah, istekhara and positive hopes. In her case it was her trusted servant Maysara.

► Our Ummi Khadija taught us to be a go-getter, to be strong, to materialize thoughts and wishes into reality by taking ACTION, to follow your heart but to take your head along with it.

► She taught us there is no shame in women initiation proposals through the right means. She taught us that women can notice good pious men and think of marrying them or having them as the fathers of their progeny. She normalized the halal love and its approach that leads to marriage and nikah.

► She taught us not to sit and wait for men to approach us. (of course by using right means)

► My Mother Khadija taught me to be vulnerable, to take chance with destiny, to play no mind games big or small. To be direct in my approach of finding love and a partner. 

► The mother of Queen of Jannah taught me to have really high standards of who you chose as your husband and to not be shy of rejecting proposals. To not bat an eye sending an undeserving proposal out the door.

► She taught me compatibility comes before age, looks and marital status. That a divorcee is compatible with a never been married before. That an older woman is compatible with a younger man. If she isn't the epitome of class, honour and good vision of life, I honestly don't know who is.

With the above being said, I know there is a general and very valid fear of rejection. The answer to it is, deal with it. Learn not to take rejection personally. Take a chance, jump the river! There is a 100% possibility that you like a guy and he turns you down without even getting to know you, _BE OKAY WITH THAT._
_ACCEPT REALITY._
_OWN NOT BEING WANTED ALWAYS._

As women we are groomed and brain washed to be wanted and liked and to be the center of attention. A lot of our value is placed on our looks and what proposal we can bag and HOW QUICKLY AND EFFORTLESSLY. If there is any effort involved the society questions our value.

It is only normal when a rejection irritates you, wears you down and makes you want to cry. Do all of that for 3 days to maximum a week and start anew! :)

Get back into the beautiful world of finding your spouse. Instead of making it a chore change your mindset and perspective and make this an adventure. You are going to meet some frogs who will never turn into a prince, you will get to meet some good brothers who are good but not compatible with you, you will learn what people are looking for and perhaps work on those traits and improve yourself in the process.

Sisters please let go of self pity, let go of negative assumptions that you will never marry or that there are no good men out there. Override your fears, insecurities and doubts with faith, action, being proactive, tawakkul, good deeds and loads of dua.

My dear lovely sister reading this it is okay to  feel weak, defeated, broken, and see no light ahead, but I trust you and I know you will take steps to regain your strength and believe that one day you will find, pursue and get the love you deserve in the form of your amazing future husband.

*❝She believed in me when the whole world refuted me and she attested to my veracity when the whole world accused me of falsehood. She offered me compassion and loyalty with her wealth when everyone else had forsaken me.❞*
- Prophet Muhammad  صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ describing his beloved wife Khadija bint Khuwaylid ibn Asad رضي الله عنه

Duas & Love,