❦❦

SINCE my dumbass of a brain kept bugging me with this idea of mine, I had to create a draft in bullet form so I can fall asleep.

You know, AkuAtsu complements each other so well. They remind me of the Teen Soukoku, Dazai and Chuuya were completely unstable and caused toxicity. But now, even with the very obvious rivalry, Dazai and Chuuya respect each other's experience and abilities and deeply trust each other.

I feel like AkuAtsu would work very well, not because I'm a shipper and THEY NEED TO GET TOGE—no, Atsushi's genuine interest upon helping Akutagawa to be a better person will probably change him. They already started with that rough start and such, they just need to work on that trust.

IDK I'M JUST RAMBLING AGAIN UGH ANYWAY— here's my take of Hanahaki AU but it's SSKK but it ain't romance related. Gotta explain Aku's constant coughs sweetheart.

❦❦

↬Ryuunusuke Akutagawa's coughing started during the times when he's being treated harshly by Dazai for his poor performance.

  ↬With the spontaneous physical punishments and his weakened state and mind, everyone thought it was an issue with his lungs. No one bothered aiding the weak male, in fear to be included in Dazai's harsh treatment.

↬Gin, on the other hand, assists his brother and begged Kouyou for help because she couldn't do anything. It wasn't that critical, Ryuu's having a fit of coughs often, but to Gin, his situation poses a danger in near future and might get in the way that might cause him harm.

↬Kouyou seemed concerned, but as Gin did, she suggested some medicines and such. It was ineffective. And then at that point, the petals came.

↬Coughing petals is very unusual, so the two first thought was it was an enemy's ability. Although, it was highly unlikely because Ryuu is under Dazai's strict supervision, and since Dazai mostly trains him till he drops unconscious for most of the time.

↬They did confirm that it wasn't an enemy's ability with Ango's help. He discovered a few cases of this disease that only happens to ability-users. It was Hanahaki. And the only known cure was a surgery performed on an ability-user who later died because the disease came back and reciprocation.

↬Hanahaki is rumored to be caused by intense and overwhelming emotions, most of the cases state that the victims experienced intense affection— all are known to be unrequited love.

↬One of the cases of Hanahaki, the survivor was cured when her significant other reciprocated her feelings. She broke into a coughing fit and released a handful of wilted petals and buds, and a few days later she was already fine but with few health problems caused by the growth of the flowers in her lungs.

↬Being the common reason, Gin and Kouyou asked Ryuu if he was seeing someone or has taken a liking on. Ryuu denied that possibility, he was raised knowing that love is a vulnerability that needs to be avoided.

↬He began to grow weaker, and in fear that Dazai might reject his existence because of the inconvenience he's causing, he asked for surgery.

  ↬And they performed a surgery, which seemed successful. Ryuu's petals were gone after a day or two, but Gin noticed that he acted colder as well.

↬So the disease comes back sometimes, the petals will show up and Ryuu would take some pills. Another surgery was performed once again, and that was the last one. Ryuu's incapability to process most of the emotions and understand it helped him avoid his trigger subconsciously.

↬ Gin was secretly upset with the changes in her brother's personality, but Ryuu would sometimes express his care and love for his sister. And that would warm her heart, knowing that her brother's humaneness(?) was still there in him. But for now, she knows that it's best if it stays that way.

↬ Chuuya's and Oda's presence also helped him. Ever since the redhead joined the Port Mafia, Dazai's beatings lessened because the two would always go on missions together frequently. Oda's presence influences Dazai as well. Chuuya and Oda also protected Ryuu once from Dazai's bullshit.

  ↬And then, Dazai disappeared out of thin air. Ryuu's coughing petals once again, this time, Chuuya knew. He was able to suppress it by busying himself in missions. Gin was against at first, she doesn't want to push himself at the limit. But knowing that Mori already approved, she couldn't do anything.

  ↬Fast forward months later, they learned that Dazai has joined the Armed Detective Agency. Ryuu was enraged by this, especially when Dazai proudly stated that his subordinates are better than him.

  ↬And that made his coughs progress into more, he would cough petals along with blood. At most times, Higuchi was able to help him because she always brings his pills with her.

↬Akutagawa realized the intense emotion that caused this disease when he interacted with Atsushi. Who called him out from his desperate need of approval from Dazai. Seeing that Atsushi doesn't have any problems with Dazai, enrages Ryuu more.

↬ The desperate need of approval, the intense feeling of despair, the destructive self-loathing feeling he had that he blamed it on Dazai's new subordinates. That intense hate. That desperate call for help and care. He was too broken that he didn't even know his own problems.

  ↬After Dazai's smol "good job??" after The Guild incident, the petals were gone. But his hatred for Atsushi stayed the same. It was because Ryuu envied Atsushi at many things, not that he himself knows what he truly feels.

↬They were partnered up at the end by Dazai, in order to save both of their leaders. Ryuu is very serious about the mission but feels very happy inside that he couldn't focus at one point (That's when they're in that truck incident)

  ↬Partnering up with Atsushi helped him break off from his shell— very slowly. Ryuu was able to accept his opinion and reflected upon what Atsushi said. He still hates Jinko though.

  ↬And the deal was made, Ryuu took off for a vacation after that, with Mori's consent. ("Deals? Reminds me of the days where Dazai and Chuuya barged into my office blah blah deals blah blah—"). And you know, he didn't kill people because that was the deal.

↬ For someone who distracts themselves by ending lives and committing crimes, a peaceful life was something he rarely experienced, and he would only experience it if he's accompanying his sister or if he's running some errands for himself.

  ↬ By observing the people around him, he was able to regain his capability to understand emotions again; he regained sympathy and empathy that he lost after the surgeries. He calmed down and settled down for a bit, processing what happened.

   ↬The Hanahaki disease comes back rarely this time. Things calmed down, and there was no beating that would terrify him to the core and make him overthink about his actions. There was no trigger anymore, but the scars act like one.

↬ There was a little hatred for Atsushi though. And he hated him more for making him feel this way; this serene feeling, this peace he missed. He saw the vulnerability of the people around him, and how their bond looked like. Being vulnerable never felt so great, all the burden on his shoulders were momentarily gone, he was allowed to be himself with no walls up.

↬ He's still not able to handle his emotions pretty well. Accepting his weakness is pretty new to him.

  ↬ So the whole current arc (in the manga) doesn't exist because (｡ŏ_ŏ)... well whatever— Ryuu comes back with one thing in mind: Kill Atsushi.

  ↬During this time, Atsushi is working in the cafe with Lucy as a part-time job. Hoping to make a few bucks that could help him with some things here and there. Of course, he's having a hard time because of the paperwork from the ADA.

↬ Ryuu comes back, jumping down from a building with his Rashomon being the cushion as he landed. Atsushi gets shocked and remembers their deal and is visibly upset and scared.

↬ "As promised, I've come to kill you."

↬ After mustering courage, Atsushi smiled with hope. "As if I'd be killed by the likes of you."

   ↬So they started fighting— well, it's mostly Akutagawa in offensive and Atsushi running for his life. But it was Atsushi's plan.

↬ During their fight, they started a conversation again, this time, it was Atsushi who started it. He asked what happened during those months.

↬ Akutagawa looked confused at his sudden interest, and answer with honesty. But quickly covered it up with "—but all I ever thought about is finally ending you Jinko." and some insults. Atsushi didn't mind the hurtful comments.

↬ Atsushi then started asking what he felt, what he realized, what he sees about weaknesses and strengths. Akutagawa complained about his noisy mouth and finally got a hold of the man-tiger, stabbed his shoulders and pinned him down the ground.

  ↬ "Is this what you realized in those six months?" Atsushi gasped between his heavy inhales. "Is this what you want to show to Dazai-san? That you can't even realize this simple fact..?" Akutagawa remained silent with a malicious glare.

  ↬ "Tell me Akutagawa, will my death make you a better person than you are now?"

  ↬ For a few moments, Akutagawa and Atsushi stayed there in silence (mind you, Atsushi is still impaled but the good boy is doing his part so fuck that for now) before Ryuu left.

↬ "Where are you going, Akuta—" "–None of your business, Jinko."

↬  With an unclear ending, Atsushi stared at the now-empty pavement, blood splattered around the area near him. Thinking if he helped him or not.

↬ Atsushi goes back to ADA, everyone is worried because he was wounded but his ability took care of that. (To Yosano's dismay lol) and Dazai couldn't help but smile proudly.

  ↬ "You didn't have to go that far for him." Dazai started, but the clueless albino eyed him in confusion.

↬  After processing it, Atsushi responded, "I know."

↬ And then Dazai cracks a joke about his ability helping him any way that he ended up being a masochist and it was kinky, of course, Atsushi denied that and they earned laughs from the others. [oof crackhead energy I'm sorry it's 3 am]

↬Back to our baby Akutagawa, he strolled around where it was quiet and empty, reflecting what Atsushi said.

↬[I'm starving ugh, I haven't eaten lunch and dinner lmao] And then the petals came back because of this pure confusion, and this weird heavy feeling in his chest that caused him to struggle with breathing properly. He passed out.

  ↬Kyouka and Atsushi were out for an errand; Kyouka accompanies Atsushi because she would buy a bunny plushie at the market he's going. Atsushi was out to buy a new light bulb.

↬ It was nighttime— late in the evening. The two went for a shortcut and passed by the place where Akutagawa was before. But he's gone.

↬Akutagawa was rushed back to the base by Higuchi (who kept looking for him when he disappeared) but he was breathing fine. Mori checked up on him and reassured that he was just tired and probably pushed himself again just after he got back.

↬ Ryuu woke up to see worried Gin and the few others. He asked them to leave so he could rest, but it was to talk to Gin privately. He opened up, to release this heavy feeling from his chest. And Gin responded with care, listening intently to his vent.

↬ Gin takes Atsushi's stand but proceeds cautiously. She asked the questions showing her sincere care, helping him sort out his emotions and helped him understand.

↬ After almost four hours, the conversation ended as Gin leaves Ryuu to rest up. Ending the conversation for something to think about: "Perhaps you could ask the man-tiger himself to verify." Ryuu felt uneasy, he was showing his vulnerable side to him, just to ask what was it like to see the value of things.

↬ It took him a month and a half, and Ryuu decided to visit Atsushi, who just came back from a business trip yesterday and decided to stroll around for fun. (he saved up for Disneyland but poor boy is all alone so he postponed the plan)

↬Atsushi stayed alert and was surprised at his very-unlike-of-him entrance. And Akutagawa found his words scrambled up, and finally managed to string a few words.

↬"Did... Dazai-san found the value of something.. other than killing..?"

  ↬ Atsushi was stunned but followed up with a giggle. "Took you long enough."

  - That's all, THAT'S ALL— NOW STOP BRAIN LET ME SLEEP PLEASE it's 4 ALREADY (*posts this in the afternoon lol*)

❦❦

It's supposed to be a SSKK one-shot but meh— I tried the platonic SSKK, trying to make their chemistry look natural. IDK if it worked, I'm still a noob at writing.

I'm trying my best(?), my motivation came back temporarily after weeks so...