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Life is a mess. It's always a mess and you only realize it's a mess when you know something that you wish you didn't. That's why people say ignorance is bliss because the less you know, the better. But sometimes naivety is bad. Though, at the same time, too much awareness hurts. And there it goes again, the chaotic circle of life that cannot be avoided, no matter how hard we try. 

  People may come and people may go. They either die or lose interest in you. But, if you're lucky, some stick around, and it's those that stick around that you defend because you feel an obligation. They were there for you at least once, and now you have to return the favor. But what can you do? You end up stuffing your emotions deep within. You shelter their fragile mind from the terrors that lurk in your messed up head. And, for a while, they can't see it; the hurt, the terror, the oppression and depression. 

 But, we are only human. We slowly crack and tear and wear down. And then, we break. That friend ends up being hurt for not noticing your pain. But what can you do? You can't take it back. You were in a horrible place and the whole time you were together you lied about being fine. Then they feel obligated to ignore that hurt you dealt out to them to attempt to save you. But what happens when it's all fine again?

 They worry. They begin to question you. They wonder whether you're lying or telling the truth. Now what? Your friendship is now like a piece of paper. It was nice and crisp at first until the corners started burning and then, you take them down with you. Now, the whole paper is a firey, balled up disaster.

 There's no fixing it. You couldn't possibly fix it. Not again anyway. There's no turning back. There's no reset button. Life isn't like a movie. There's no hero with a time machine to take you back in time to be honest with your friend. Now, the friend feels horrible. You were their rock and now they think that you can't trust them; that they did something wrong.

 They wonder if they're even good enough to be your friend. It's a stalemate, neither side is progressing.  

 So what now? You'll try to work things out. And, eventually, you will. But then, something else happens and it's the exact same situation as before. You do the same thing that you did the last time. 

THE CHAOTIC CYCLE REPEATS. 

 So now what? Does anything ever change? It may, if you try, but chances are, you won't because you are a fool. And that is what fools do: never learn from their mistakes.