I can't handle it anymore the books are starting to tear me apart more and more. Why should I stay and have it continue to hurt!??!!??! I don't wanna stay but i do. I have this pull to leave this horrible world of  mine. To leave life behind. I still wanna die. No one is here anymore. No one is here when I need them. I used to have people who knew I needed them without saying a single thing. They could be miles away and they would still know. I miss that. I miss feeling safe and loved in someone's arms. I miss the warmth of being in thier arms. I miss the way i could stay there all day happy and content as can be. I'm tired of life. I'm tired of dealing with everyone's problems. They don't even ask about me in return. They come when they want and leave when they want. Never staying long enough to help me. I am nothing and It is bound to happen have everyone leave me. I wish it happened sooner so it hurt less. I can't escape to books anymore without losing more of my blackened heart that doesn't beat. To lose everything. My sanity, my happiness, my life, my love. I lose everything. So please someone who actually knows me no affence to u guys out there that don't, please tell me why I should live on? Why should I stay with books?

If u don't already know this then u should know I don't cry often but I was crying my eyes out writing this. It's deep stuff so please don't take it as a joke or joke about it I'm not even sure why u guys read this s*it Its nothing just like me.