It's all my fault as usual. I don't want her to leave again but of course I made her leave again. WHY CAN'T I EVER DO ANYTHING CORRECTLY?!?!?!?! I'm never good enough.  I never will be good enough. I can't change I can't even keep her here for 5 minutes.  IT'S ALL MY FUCKING FAULT!!!!!! I need to be fixed. I need a release but idk what to do. All I ever want is 1 thing and I keep ruining it. its not ok so please don't ask I never am ok. *whispers* all I feel right now is pain and I want to die again. Nothing can fix it did no point in trying. I'm nothing u cantt love nothing and nothing can't love it's as simple as that and that's all it ever is.