MOTEL-ROOM

"Aliens" Bobby Says

"Yeah." Sam Says

"Aliens?" Elena Says

"Yeah." Dean Says

"Look, even if they are real, they're sure as hell not coming to earth and swiping people." Bobby Says

"Hey, believe me. We know." Dean Says

"My whole life i've never found evidence of an honest-to-God abduction. It's all just cranks and pranks." Bobby Says

"Yeah, that's what we thought. But...we figured we'd at least talk to the guy." Sam Says

FLASHBACK

In The Bar Dean is seated next to Curtis, who has three full shot glasses lined up in front of him. Sam is standing nearby. Curtis takes a shot.

"Hey, you ought to give those purple nurples a shot." Dean Says

"So, what happened, Curtis?" Sam Asks

"You won't believe me. Nobody does." Curtis Says

"Give us a chance." Sam Says

"I do not want this in the papers." Curtis Says

"Off the record, then." Dean Says

"I, uh... I blacked out, and...I lost time, and when I woke up, I don't know where I was." Curtis Says

In A Mysterious Place Curtis is lying on a medical table, bright lights in his eyes. A blurry alien face appears above him.

"Then what?" Sam Asks

"They did tests on me. And, uh... He takes another shot, They, uh... They probed me." Curtis Says As Sam turns his face away, struggling not to laugh

"They probed you?" Dean Asks

"Yeah, they probed me. Again and a— Again and – And again. He takes another shot, And again and again and again... And then one more time." Curtis Says

"Yikes." Dean Says

"And that's not even the worst of it." Curtis Says

"How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch." Dean Says as he's smirking. Curtis glares at him Dean stops smirking

"They... They made me... Slow dance!" Curtis Says

Back In The Mysterious place, Close on a rotating disco ball, pan down to a dance floor where Curtis is slow dancing with a short alien figure. As Curtis finishes his story Sam and Dean Exchange Looks

END OF FLASHBACK

"You guys are exaggerating again, huh?" Bobby Asks

"No no." Sam Says

"Then this frat boy's just nuts." Elena Says

"We're not so sure." Dean Says

FLASHBACK

Sam and Dean are standing over a large, perfectly round scorch mark in the ground.

"I'm telling you, Dean, This was made by some kind of jet engine." Sam Says

"You mean some saucer-shaped jet engine?" Dean Asks

"What else could it be?" Sam Asks

"What the hell?" Dean Says

"I don't know." Sam Says

"Seriously, dude – What the hell?" Dean Says

"I don't know. I mean, first the haunting. Now this? The timing alone – There's got to be some kind of connection." Sam Says

"You mean between the angry spirit and the sexed-Up E.T.? What could the connection possibly be?" Dean Asks

FLASHBACK FREEZES

"But what could we do? So we just kept on digging." Dean Says

FLASHBACK RESUMES (DEAN POV)

They are talking with another college student

"So, you and this guy, Curtis – You were in the same house?" Sam Asks

"Yeah." The Student Says

"You heard what happened to him, right? Sam Asks

"Yeah, he says it was aliens, but, you know, whatever." The Student Says

"Look, man, I – I know this all has to be so hard." Sam Says

"Um, not so much." The Student Says

"But I want you to know... I'm here for you. You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here. He grabs him in a hug, You're too precious for this world." Sam Says

FLASHBACK FREEZES

"I never said that!" Sam Says

"You're always saying pansy stuff like that." Dean Says

FLASHBACK RESUMES

"Well, um... Yeah, uh, thanks. Sam releases him,
Thanks for the hug, but, uh, I'm okay. Really. To tell you the truth, whatever happened to Curtis, he had it coming." The Student Says

"Why is that?" Dean Asks

"He's our pledge master. Put us through hell this semester, and got off on it. So now he knows how we feel." The Student Says

"It's okay." Dean Says

Dean and Sam return to their hotel room

"Still doesn't make a lick of sense. But, hey, at least there's one connection." Dean Says

"Between what?" Sam Asks

"The victims. The professor and the frat guy – They're both dicks." Dean Says

"That's a connection?" Sam Says

"You got anything better to go on, i'd love to hear it." Dean Says as Sam looks in his Bag

"Where's my laptop?" Sam Asks

"I don't know. Sam continues to search, getting more frustrated, Think about it. A philandering professor gets a dead girl. A pledge master gets hazed." Dean Says

"I left it in here." Sam Says

"You obviously didn't. I mean, these punishments—they're almost poetic. Actually, it'd be more like a limerick, but still –" Dean Says

"Okay, hilarious. Ha ha. Where'd you hide it?" Sam Says

"What, your computer?" Dean Says

"Yeah, where'd you hide it?" Sam Asks

"Why would I take your computer?" Dean Asks

"Because no one else could have, Dean! We keep the door locked. We never let any maids in." Sam Says

"Looks like you lost it, Poindexter." Dean Says

"Dude, you know something? I put up with a lot from you." Sam Says

"What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around." Dean Says

"Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink, your food in the fridge." Sam Says

"What's wrong with my food?" Dean Asks

"It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism.

"I like it." Dean Says

"All I ask from you, the one thing, is that you don't mess with my stuff!" Sam Says

"You done?" Dean Asks

"You know, how would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?" Sam Asks

"It'd be the last thing you ever did." Dean says

FLASHBACK FREEZES

"Did you take his computer?" Bobby Asks

"Serves him right, but, no." Dean Says

"Well, I didn't lose it. 'Cause I don't lose things." Sam Says

"Oh, that's right, yeah, 'cause he's Mr. Perfect." Dean Says

"Okay, okay. Why don't you just tell us what happened next?" Elena Asks

"There was one more victim." Dean Says

"Right. Now, we, we didn't see this one ourselves, either. We kind of put it together from the evidence. But this guy – He was, uh, he was a research scientist. Animal testing." Sam Says

"Yeah, you know – a dick. Which fits the pattern." Dean Says

FLASHBACK

Research Scientist leaves a campus building, heading towards the street. He sees something shiny in the gutter and stops. He looks around cautiously, then gets down on hands and knees to see it better. It is a gold watch. He smiles and looks excited. He gets all the way down and sticks and arm through the gutter bars, trying to reach it. He struggles. Close on his face as something grabs him. He begins screaming and struggling as blood spatters on his face.

___________________________________
THE MORGUE

Two flashlights shine through a window. A window latch slides aside as Sam opens it from the outside with a small knife.

"Cops didn't release the cause of death 'cause they had no clue what the cause was." Dean's Voiceover

"So, we checked it ourselves." Sam's Voicemail

Flashlight in hand, Sam crawls through the window.

"Hey." Dean Says as he tosses his flashlight to Sam, then climbs through and shuts the window.
The Dean opens a body drawer and shines his light through. He grimaces.Well, this oughta be quick.

They slide the drawer out and gingerly peel off the bloody blanket, revealing extremely mangled remains

"OK, that is just nasty." Dean Says As Sam is Holding his hand to his mouth and nose, and speaking muffled while trying not to breathe through his nose

"Uh, yeah." Sam Says

"Mutilated?" Dean Asks

"Looks to me like something was hungry." Sam Says

"They identify him yet?" Dean Says

"Yeah, uh, a research scientist at the college. Guess where his office was, by the way. Crawford Hall, same as the professor." Sam Says

"That's right where the frat boy had his close encounter." Dean Says

"Yeah. Hey, grab me that thing, would you?
Dean slides a magnifying light over to Sam, who peers through it at the corpse. Thanks." Sam Says

"What is it?" Dean Asks

"Looks like a... A belly scale?" Sam Says

"A belly scale? From what?" Dean Says

"Uh... An alligator?" Sam Says

"An alligator in the sewer. Come on." Dean Says

"What? Well, Dean, it's a classic urban legend. A kid flushes a baby gator down the toilet, and it grows huge in the tunnels." Sam Says

"But no one's ever really found one. I mean, th – they're not real." Dean Says

"Well, neither's alien abduction, but something chomped on this guy." Sam Says

"This couldn't get any weirder." Dean Says

"Maybe we should get some help. I'll call Bobby. Maybe he's run into something like this before." Sam Says

"Oh, I'm sure he has. Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig. Yeah, it's simple." Dean Says

FLASHBACK PAUSES

We decided to search the sewer anyway, so we split up, each taking one end of campus.

"D'you find anything?" Sam Asks

"Yeah, I found something, just not in the sewer." Dean Says

FLASHBACK

Dean emerges from the sewer and enteres the alley where the Impala is parked. All four tires are flat.

"Son of a bitch!, He circles the car and finds a money clip on the ground, engraved with "S.W.,Sam!" Dean Says

Inside The Hotel Sam is reading a book as Dean enters.

"You think this is funny?" Dean Asks

"It depends. What?" Sam Asks

"Th-th-th-the car!" Dean Says

"What about the car?" Sam Asks

"You can't let the air out of the tires, you idiot. You're gonna bend the rims!" Dean Says

"Whoa, wait a minute. I didn't go near your car." Sam Says

"Oh, yeah? Huh. Then how'd I find this?" Dean Says As He holds up the money clip. Sam pats his pocket, stands.

"Hey. Give me back my money!" Sam Says

"Oh, no, no. Consider it reparations. For, uh, emotional trauma." Dean Says

"Yeah, very funny. Now, give it back." Sam Says As he reaches for it

"No." Dean Says

"Dean, I have had it up to here with you." Sam Says

"Yeah? Right back at you!" Dean Says As Sam reaches for the money again, Dean avoids. Sam grabs at him again, tackles him to the bed. They scuffle and fight like kids.

"Come on!,Get off me!" Dean Says

"Give it back!" Sam Says

FLASHBACK FREEZES

"Okay, I've heard enough." Bobby Says

"You guys showed up about an hour after that."

"I'm surprised at you two. I really am. Sam, first off, Dean did not steal your computer." Bobby Says

"But I –" Sam Says

"Shh, shh, shh, shh! And, Dean, Sam did not touch your car." Bobby Says

"Yeah!" Sam Says

"And if you two bothered to pull your heads outta your asses, it all would have been pretty clear." Bobby Says

"What Dad?" Elena Asks

"What their dealing with." Bobby Says

"Uh..." Sam Says

"I got nothing." Dean Says

"Me neither." Dean Says

"You got a trickster on your hands." Bobby Says

"That's what I thought." Dean Says as he snaps his finger, Elena Rolls her Eyes at Dean

"What?! No, you didn't." Sam Says

"I got to tell you... you guys were the biggest clue." Bobby Says

"What do you mean?" Elena Asks

"These things create chaos and mischief as easy as breathing, and it's got you so turned around and at each other's throats, you can't even think straight." Bobby Says

"The laptop." Sam Says

"The tires." Dean Says

"It knows you're onto him, and it's been playing you like fiddles." Bobby Says

"So, what is it, what, what, spirit, demon, what?"'Dean Asks

"Well, more like demigods, really. There's Loki in Scandinavia. There's Anansi in West Africa. Dozens of them. They're immortal, and they can create things out of thin air. Things as real as you and me. Make them vanish just as quick." Bobby Says

"You mean like an angry spirit or an alien or an alligator." Dean Says

"The victims fit the M.O., too. Tricksters target the high and the mighty, knock them down a peg, usually with a sense of humor – deadly pranks, things like that." Bobby Says

"Bobby, what do these things look like?" Dean Asks

"Lots of things, but human, mostly." Bobby Says

"And what human do we know who's been at ground zero this whole time?" Dean Asks As Sam frowns thinking, then gets it.

__________________________________
THE JANITORS HOUSE

The Trickster is flipping through a copy of Weekly World News.

Headline: 'AN ALIEN MADE ME ITS LOVE SLAVE']
"Oh, that's a good one." The Trickster Says
Page: Alligator in the sewer
Page:... '...CHAINSAWS FAMILY... BODY PARTS STREWN OVER GRISLY SCENE'

We pan out to see the trickster in a tacky swinger's pad: velvet armchair, wildly patterned walls, huge mirrors. He's wearing a white tank top and red satin boxers. He whistles to a small, energetic dog, who comes bounding towards him.

"Come here. He picks up the dog, Could you eat? I could eat. Come on." The Trickster Says

He gets up and circles to the kitchen, holding a champagne flute. The kitchen table is covered in lavish sweets.

"Something's missing. two scantily clad women appear behind him: one blonde, one brunette; he takes whipped cream on one finger and holds it out; the brunette on his left licks it off. That's better." The Trickster Says

"Mmm!" The Woman Says

__________________________________
NATHAN'S HOUSE

Nathan Is Coming In the apartment he was just jogging, then his phone starts to ring and he answers it

"Hello" Nathan Says

"Hey You" Elena Says

"Hey Elena, How's the Case going?" Nathan Asks

"Uhh, It's going good now that we finally have a lead, but I just wanted to check in on you" Elena Says

"I'm Fine just came back from a run, I'm about to shower cook dinner you know boring stuff" Nathan Says

"I See" Elena Says

"But Hay Why don't we go somewhere for the weekend you know just the two of us no hunting, Just us taking a pre Valentine's Day vacation huh what do you think?" Nathan Says

"I Say You bet your ass I'm coming, that sounds very Romantic what's the reason?" Elena Asks

"No Reason Can't a Guy take his girlfriend on vacation for Valentine's Day huh and it will be three years we've been dating and I wanna spend time with the woman I'm in love with" Nathan Says

"Fine I'll be home tomorrow then we can leave okay" Elena Says

"Okay I'll call you later I love you" Nathan Says

"Love you to"Elena Says as she hangs up

"You Ready Kid" Bobby Asks

"Yeah" Elena Says as she puts her weapons In her bag