"You might think I'm crazy, and I can't fucking sing."

All of Thursday night and early Friday morning had passed and Alex had not slept a wink. Sometime around sunrise she took a seat by the phone, waiting for the right time to call in sick to work. It was only after an hour of sitting there that she remembered she'd been given the day off.

At about ten a.m. Alex decided that she hated living in such a messy apartment and set to work cleaning it. As she did so, she sang bits of songs to herself, changing the lyrics to nearly all of them.

"I ain't got nothing but ten cents, eight days a week" was her response to finding a dime in the kitchen.

"I wonder why I'm such a piece of crap. Is it because I think the way I do?" That one didn't need a prompt.

"Oh, for I can't help falling," she sang from the floor when she tripped. Does omitting lyrics count as changing them?

The apartment's makeover was almost done when a sharp pain shot through Alex's brain. Grimacing and putting a hand to her temple, she let go of the broom she was holding, wincing at the resulting clatter of it hitting the floor. She stared at it for a moment before swooping down and picking it up to use as a pretend microphone. "Ooh! My head."

She spent the rest of the day alternating between watching TV and reading, occasionally leaving the couch to complete small tasks, including organizing (and reorganizing) her collection of special edition magazines (first by subject, then by date), making a large pot of coffee equivalent to about 10 mugs and drinking it all, watering the tiny cactus in her room, cleaning her vinyl records, and the like. Night fell and she was still in the living room--she hadn't left the apartment at all. In fact, the only thing she had noticed about the outdoors was that it was raining, which was odd because summer was only a few days away.

She was watching La Bamba and thinking about what a depressing movie it was when she heard it. A knock on her front door. She briefly wondered how long the effects of mind-altering substances could last--surely her mind was playing tricks on her and she was imagining the knocking. Who could be out there in the rain at that ungodly hour?

Just as she'd decided she was hearing things, the sound came again. Figuring it couldn't hurt to investigate, Alex stood up to get the door. She opened it after a moment of fumbling with the lock and was met with quite the surprise. "Charlie?" Her visitor looked soaked to the bone and was shivering. "What the hell are you doing--are you crazy?"

Charlie shook her head and sniffed. "Alex," she began in a trembling voice, "I'm so--"

Alex didn't let her finish. She reached out and pulled Charlie in by the shoulders, hugging her close without even thinking about how that would wet her own clothes. Charlie immediately hugged her back, hiding her face in Alex's shoulder as she shook with a silent sob. Alex noticed and tightened her hold, softly patting Charlie's back and nodding against Charlie's head so she would know Alex was in no rush to let go.

"I'm sorry" was the first thing Charlie said when she calmed down enough to speak. Her voice was thick and unstable. "I shouldn't have been such an asshole to you. Not yesterday, not in the weeks before, and not at the birthday party you threw for me. You didn't deserve any of that, and I...I..."

"Hey, you don't have to apologize. I was a fucking jerk to you for it," Alex said when Charlie couldn't continue. "I understand. I probably would've done the same if I was in your place."

Charlie was probably going to say more, but Alex shook her head to discourage her from wasting her breath. She moved back after another minute and pulled Charlie inside. Once she'd had gotten Charlie a change of clothes, a cup of tea, and some tissues, they sat on the living room floor, silently watching the movie still playing on the TV.

"I fucked up," Charlie suddenly said. She saw Alex about to interject and beat her to the next sentence. "Let me say this. I'm so, so sorry for everything I did wrong. I should've told you what was going on instead of feeding off your own--pretty justified--anger and letting my frustration out on you. That was fucked up and I'm--"

"But it's not your fault," Alex finally interrupted. "I should've asked you if something else was going on. I know you. Why didn't I realize something was wrong? And even if I didn't, why did I keep it going? God, I'm an idiot. I should've known something was wrong."

Charlie shook her head. "It's not your job to read my mind and know what's going on. I don't even know why I didn't just tell you; I definitely knew you'd understand..." She trailed off and looked down at her cup of tea. "Can you forgive me?"

"You wouldn't be sitting there wearing my favorite shirt if I hadn't already," Alex said with a tiny grin. "Do you forgive me?"

"I don't think there's anything I need to forgive..."

"Shut up and tell me you do."

"Alright," Charlie said, laughing a little, "I forgive you."

They finished the movie and Alex went to sit on the now drying balcony, thinking Charlie might want a minute alone. She watched as the sky began to lighten and realized she'd been up for quite some time. She was trying to do the math to figure out how many hours it had been since she'd last slept when the door to the balcony opened and Charlie stepped out.

"Hey," Alex said, looking over at her friend. "Are you okay?"

Charlie nodded. "No offense, but you look like you might die if you don't go to sleep soon."

"I am always minutes away from dying. You know this. Oh, and I had a shit ton of coffee earlier and I don't think I could sleep if I wanted to."

"Oh my God, of course," Charlie laughed. She sighed and looked up at the still shining stars. "This sucks, huh?"

Alex tilted her head back as well. "Yeah. I still can't believe it, to be honest."

"Me neither. And after last year..."

"I know. But fuck all that it's his life, he can make his own choices bullshit. I'm not...I wish I'd..." She shook her head. "Why did all of this have to happen to us? Who the fuck did we kill in our past lives?"

Charlie let out a soft laugh and shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm thinking it was someone pretty important."

"Yeah..." Alex cleared her throat. "And listen, Charlie. No matter what happens, no matter how we fight or how much space is put between us--mental or physical--I'm always gonna be here for you. You might not want me to be and I wouldn't ask you to involve me in anything you don't want me to be a part of, but if you decide that you do, you can know that I never went anywhere. You are the best friend I've ever had and you deserve much better than what I can offer, but you still have it."

Charlie was quiet for a moment. Then she scooted her chair close to Alex's and wrapped her arms around her old friend, crying for what felt like the tenth time that night.

✩✩✩

"Well, maybe there's a lesson we can all learn from the whole thing. Something about pride, you know?"

"Shut up. I'll turn you into a pretzel, I swear."

"But that would mean losing your streak. What's more important, Alex? Beating me up, or your streak?"

"Our streak," Alex replied. "How long has it been?"

Matt looked up at the clock. "About ten minutes."

"How much longer does this have to go on? My hands are starting to hurt," Jo complained.

It was a nice and peaceful afternoon at Ben's house. Alex and Jo were, as Matt said, ten minutes into a no-mistake streak in a hand-clapping game. Matt himself was playing cards with Kim, Chris, and Charlie, and Ben was playing his guitar.

"Come on, you can't give up now. We're going for the world record."

"We are?"

"Is there even a world record in that?" Matt asked.

"There's a world record in everything," Kim said as he studied his cards.

"But how are we gonna know when we've beat it?"

"You'll give up before you get to that," Ben said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Jo said in a pained tone. She missed Alex's hands and finally dropped hers, sparking outrage in the living room.

"Why'd you do that?" "Aw, you had a good run." "You're such a baby!"

"I'm disappointed," Alex sighed, "but that wasn't unexpected. Next time I'll be sure to pick someone at my own level."

"I honestly can't tell if you're joking or not."

"Oh, I always am. You shouldn't take me seriously at all. I'm a walking joke." Alex jumped up and went to sit next to Charlie. Noticing Chris and Matt and Kim loudly arguing about a rule, she asked Charlie in a quiet voice, "are you winning?"

"I barely remember how to play this game," Charlie whispered back.

"Lemme see." Alex leaned in and Charlie angled her cards to let her look. "Keep those cards. You have a straight."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah, really good. But pretend your hand is shit."

Charlie nodded and stared at her cards, sighing heavily after a moment. Alex coughed and stood up to conceal a laugh.

Charlie ended up winning the game.

✩✩✩

"...it's gonna be so much fun! Have you found a date yet?"

Yeah. Rhea's family was coming back to town after a long business trip, and her parents were hosting a ball at their mansion. Fancy parties weren't exactly Alex's favorite cup of tea, but she was willing to dress up and go if that was what Rhea wanted. The only thing she hadn't quite accepted about it was the fact that she had to bring a date.

"Uh...not yet. I mean, I have no one to bring. The only person I think might've said yes to going as my date is out of town." Alex looked over the invoice on the counter in front of her before sliding it across to Rhea.

Rhea looked up and down the piece of paper and nodded, passing it back to Alex, who put it in the folder on the shelf behind her and brought out the next one. "Who is it?"

"Does it matter? He's not here."

"Hm...so it's a he. Interesting."

Alex lowered her eyebrows and gave her the sheet. "Duh. Anyway, who are you taking?"

Spots of red appeared on Rhea's cheeks and she shook her head. "I'm not sure yet, I haven't asked him."

Alex leaned down and put her elbow on the counter and rested her chin on her fist, looking up at Rhea, who was avoiding her gaze by checking over the page many more times than she needed to. "It's Eddie, isn't it?"

Rhea blushed even harder and shook her head. "No! What gives you that idea?"

"Oh, it's definitely him. Hey, I'm not judging you or anything. Eddie's great."

"Alright, yeah, you got me. I know I haven't talked to him in a while and he's probably way out of my league, but--"

"Wait, you think he's out of your league?" Alex had to laugh. She shook her head and went for the next invoice. "Please ask him. I'm willing to bet everything I own that he'll say yes."

"I'll ask him if you tell me you'll find a date and come to the party. It can be anyone." Rhea looked around the store, catching sight of an attractive customer within seconds. "Ooh, ask her."

Alex didn't look up. "Sure, okay. I'll ask some random stranger to go with me."

"She's looking at the Eagles stuff. And wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt."

"Say no more," Alex said, lifting her head and pretending to wildly look around. They laughed and Alex nodded. "Yeah, I'll find someone to ask."

"Yes! This'll be awesome. Wait, now I really have to ask Eddie to go with me. Alright, help me figure out what to say..."

✩✩✩

"If I hear anything about you so much as thinking about doing drugs I will break both of your arms and all of your fingers, I swear to God you'll wish you never--"

"For legal reasons, she's kidding!" Charlie said, snatching the phone away from Alex.

"For legal reasons, I'm scared," Sean replied. "Tell her I hear her loud and clear. And Charlie, I'm watching Layne like a hawk. I mean, he feels pretty bad about the whole thing--I don't think he's done it since."

"Oh, I hope not. Look, I know you're not his caretaker and that this isn't your job, but--"

"He's one of my best friends. Hell yes it's my job. I swear we're not losing anyone else to drugs. Ever."

"Hey, do you want me to start crying? Because I will."

"Make her cry, Sean, I fucking dare you!" Alex said in a loud voice.

"Alright, I'm gonna go before my cousin puts me on her hit list. I'll call you again soon, okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'll talk to you then. Bye for now," Charlie said.

"BYE, SEAN!" Alex yelled.

Charlie hung up and turned to Alex. "I really hope everything turns out okay."

Alex nodded and put a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "It will. It has to. The universe fucking owes us this one."

"Yeah...an indebted universe."

✩✩✩

too dramatic? not dramatic enough? oh, well. the fight's over :)

well, i have an announcement to make regarding this story. i've thought about it, and i've realized that this book is not going the way i originally thought it would. so i'm modifying the cast to reflect that--i'm sorry, but there isn't really a place for everyone i thought would be taking up big roles here. so no Candlebox, STP, Hole, or Nirvana. it'll just be the people that are already in it. i hope that's okay.

that's all for now! please remember to stay safe and hydrated, have fun, listen to some good music, be what you wanna be, and stay sober for Layne! until next time<3