🌸ڿڰۣ-P̠O̠V̠ P̠a̠t̠r̠i̠c̠e̠

This was not how I had expected my Sunday to turn out. I was to steal away to meet OD and mend the bridge that circumstances had broken. We were supposed to make something beautiful out of the ashes that were left of our teenage love affair.

It was supposed to have opened up the door to me having my fairy tale ending. All of what time now offered to us was not going to give me my happily ever after.

How many times in my life have I heard people saying 'just time' with the vigor of that which was constituted by deep-rooted faith in those two words of hope?

What has time given me? Nothing but a longing that I thought was finally going to end and be replaced by fulfilment as OD was here to make it all right. Ms Murl could no longer hold us back, we were finally going to have what we both wanted.

I stood there wanting in that minute to turn to Medz and tell him that what we shared earlier was a mistake as I saw the possessiveness in OD's eyes as he looked at me and the dislike with which his gaze burn into Medz. I couldn't however because I truly did not regret it and something told me the death of his grandmother did not change the condition of where we stood either.

What was happening?

Yuh fi tell mi.

My inner voice conveniently ignores that it was a rhetorical question.

I couldn't find any answers if I tried.

Mi deh yah jus a look an watch.

I inwardly rolled my eyes.

I did not know how in one instance all that mattered was getting my heart's desire where OD was concerned and in the next, I wanted to find out where things with Medz could lead. I wanted to hold onto him and just hide away from the struggles that I knew I would face with my family and OD's when it comes to being with OD.

I open my mouth to tell OD that this was not the time or place he had to leave. The chance we were given this morning has long since been blown up when he failed to show up and I had taken solace in someone else's arm, but drama had suddenly become my shadow thus making things more problematic.

Medz was such a caring and giving person. I could not get it out of my mind the way he reached out to me by taking my hand in his on the ride over when he sense my distress.

I knew he was curious but he did not push to find the reason. When I made him linger after we got here he just stayed and offered no protest or questions.

I heard the front door screech open and the look of annoyance that marred OD's face as he swore caused me to turn and look to see who it was as much as I did not want to.

Mama was standing there and her wrinkled face was a dark mirror of seriousness. I turn around to tell OD to go but the words came out on a gasp when I felt strong warm fingers grip my wrist and tugged me forward but another set of fingers just as strong held me back.

It was in a wink of an eye that I saw OD's fist connected with Medz's face causing voices to raise in alarm and movements around me to start to twirl in a kaleidoscope of colours as Medz got in a punch of his own. Somehow DD and Mama had made their way between the scuffling men.

I stood frozen where I was shoved. Pet and the girls were now standing on the middle step staring at the two men who were now glaring at each other the violence between them barely suppressed.

"Listen to mi, mi nuh waah dem tings yah inna mi yaad!" Mama was shouting and it dawn on me that Mama never shout.

She was the type of woman whose presence warranted your full attention she did not have to get irate to get your attention or her point across.

"Yuh come in yah wid yuh foolishness an mi naah stand fi dat!"

She turned her attention to me and I felt a shiver run down my spine. I knew she held me responsible for this it was there in her dark eyes the wrinkles standing out as they clashed with her barely suppress anger.

"Tek d young man inside a guh deal wid him face," Mama said to me. "Move before mi lose mi salvation, Pat!"

It took Petrice coming to usher Medz and me inside that got me moving.

I felt like my feet were made of lead and I was walking on smoke. I could hardly detach myself from what had happened and when I was seconds from going through the door I saw Mama go up to OD her small frame determine.

What was she saying to him as she points at his chest or in other words abdomen because she was that short?

He glances up at me just as Pet pull me inside and shut the door with a resounding slam. I thought that Mama now had something more to pop my neck over. Her number one rule was no slamming of anything in her house and her being fueled by fury at my unintentionally instigating a confrontation in her yard was another slight against me.

"What the hell mi duh?"

"Yuh have man a fight inna Mama yawd," Petrice answered and I realised I had spoken out loud.

I grimace at her response and plop down on the sofa as my feet gave way. I look at Medz who just stood there staring at nothing in particular, I wish I could get a reaction.

I looked away from him to Petrice who scowled at me but in the same breath was making sure she got the girls and Medz attended to.

"Guh inna d kitchen Medz mek mi get ice fi yuh face," she pointed to the door and he complied.

I just watch him not sure what to do.

"Deenie tek Jae guh downstairs an guh watch cartoon, jus turn on the cable box. Mek sure yuh lock e door."

Before she followed her aunt's instructions she came and hug me and sweet innocent Jae followed suit. I clung to them and for a second wished they never had to grow up because life was just there waiting to latch its cruel fingers into their naive sense of Independence and send their world crumbling.

"Gwaan guh duh weh yuh Aunty seh," I told her pulling away as I heard the front door open.

Mama came in and watch as Deenie took Jae away. When they were out of the room she turned to me and said.

"Mi a guh tell yuh d same ting mi tell Odean Davis. Yuh an him a jus two unfortunate souls caught up inna sinting weh d two a yuh nuh suppose fi a suffa fah," her voice was heavy as if she was holding back tears. "As much as mi wish mi cudda tell yuh why unuh cyaah deh mi affi mek yuh madda duh dat."

I stared at her puzzled. "What she affi duh wid e?"

"Patrice yuh n Odean cyaah have a relationship. Jus focus on being Deenie's parents."

She walked away and I would have followed her to pursue the conversation but Petrice and Medz came from the kitchen with Medz holding a makeshift ice pack on his bruised chin and lower busted lip.

I best focus on Medz. I made him a part of a situation where he was an unexpected participant. I was not sure if he would ever speak to me again after how I manipulated the situation after purposely holding him back to use against Odean.

What the fuck of a mess I made!

Petrice did not stay back she walked out of the living room and I figured she was going downstairs to the girls and I wish she had lingered I was not ready to face the mess I made.

Yuh nuh learn, yuh still waah hide weh back a people when yuh sheg up.

I resisted the urge to hiss my teeth in annoyance at my inner voice as I stood up and move tentatively towards Medz I paused when I saw him step back.

"Want me to follow you t---"

"Patrice mi tink its best mi n yuh jus call it a day," he said cutting me off.

My mouth opens to speak but I close it and nod my head. What could I possibly say to him?

Sorry?

I figured he was treating me with more care than I deserved. I did not do anything to earn his respect and whatever could have risen further from what we shared I trampled on it with my selfishness.

I alk to open the door, he walked past me without hesitation. Our hands brush as he left, it fill my mind with the way he had offered comfort to me by holding my hand as he drove me home.

A few seconds when the sound of his car door closing filled the night to be shortly followed by his car starting up I felt tears run down my cheeks.

The thought of never holding Medz hands or even just touching him left me with a loss I never fathom.

Was I destined to always lose out on love?

Suh wait yuh a seh yuh love Medz?

I lean against the closed door as the question play around in my head. All I knew I cared deeply for both men and did not want to lose either for various reasons.

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Please👇

Nuff love 🇯🇲