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chapter twenty-nine

After Hoseok stops Ahri from leaving, he decides to have a little talk with her. And the rooftop always seems to be the best place for it.

Both of them sit down on the hard and cold ground. Ahri starts to shiver slightly, but Hoseok quickly hugs her from the side, warming her skin up almost immediately.

He rests his head on hers while both of them watch the twinkling stars, which adorn the sky like something fresh, more beautiful.

Hoseok's content with the silence that's lingering in the air. Of course, he wants to know what's been on the girl's mind lately, but he's simply enjoying the time with her. He just wants to let her enjoy her life for once.

"I haven't talked to him for 4 years."

Hoseok pulls away slightly as Ahri opens her mouth, his eyes widening, but he quickly embraces her once again while listening intently.

She sniffles. "My parents always fought. Verbally, emotionally, psychologically, physically."

"When you physically fight someone, then their body is in damage." She repositions herself, sinking more into his touch. "But verbally," she hesitates, her voice breaking while she's shaking her head.

"Words mean so much more than people would like to admit," she states. "Words can fuck your psyche and emotional state more up than some hits could ever master."

"I'm sorry." She sniffles once again after swearing in front of him.

"It's fine," Hoseok mumbles, shaking his head softly.

She sighs before continuing, "nobody likes when their mother gets hit. And me being the dominant and so-called 'feisty' person, I always went in between them."

"Well, more like tried to." She shrugs her shoulders. "The last time when I saw my parents fighting, I pushed my father away from my mama."

"My father always hated my personality." A dry chuckle escapes her. "How I always talked back to him, that I was always right, that he couldn't make me fear him with his slaps or hits," she admits, her voice as quiet as a whisper.

"Well, after I pulled them apart with all the might a 12-year-old could master, he got angry at me." Hoseok feels the goosebumps that are building on Ahri's body while she's talking.

"He always fucked me up with his negative words." She sighs softly, regaining energy to keep on talking. "Always telling me how I'm a worthless piece of shit, incompetent, ugly on the inside, or how I would never achieve anything in life."

"Of course I got sad or angry at that, but what really made me finally snap," she exhales an angry puff of air. "Was that he slapped my mother, making her collapse against the wall."

Hoseok's eyes water while listening to Ahri's story. No, not story, her past. He deeply wishes that it's all just a story, a fairytale, in which the princess gets treated badly but lives a beautiful life after marrying a prince, nevertheless. But that's not reality.

"Didn't you have a sibling or something? Did you deal with all of it yourself?" Hoseok asks, sniffling.

Ahri chuckles dryly once again, shaking her head softly. "I do," she whispers. "I have an older brother. Chinhae."

"He's 4 years older than me, but you can't call him a real brother. Siblings are supposed to protect each other if something bad happens. He never protected me from my father's physical abuse, he was a scared piece of shit."

A single tear rolls down her cheek while she's thinking of him, but she quickly wipes it away.

"My mama started bleeding." It gets harder for the young girl to breathe after finally telling a tiny bit of her past to someone. "And I just had enough," she breathes, "I always asked myself, how long do I have to live in this misery?"

"And then." A gulp. She hesitates to tell him further, scared that he will judge her just like the rest of them. "Please don't leave me if I tell you," she whispers.

Pulling away slightly, she looks up into his brown eyes. Hoseok smiles faintly, cupping one of her cold cheeks while shaking his head softly. "I won't judge you. We all did mistakes and that's fine. Whatever happened, happened, but you changed, Yona."

Nodding her head, she hugs him again, still scared to gaze into his eyes while telling the rest of her story. "I didn't want him to exist anymore. So, I-I," she stammers, sniffling again.

"I p-picked up a knife," Ahri whispers. "I-I didn't mean to." More tears leave her eyes.

"I was trembling like crazy while holding it," she breathes.

"But before I could do anything, Chinhae took the b-blade into his own hand." A hiccup follows after she sniffles. "He was about to do it, but before anything could happen, the police stormed into our house."

"I called them while my parents were fighting," she admits while nodding her head lightly. "I would have never called them if I knew what happened after that."

"Chinhae panicked and handed me the knife. And me being the dumb bitch I am, I couldn't do anything out of fear."

"Maybe, out of fear, but more likely, because I didn't want anything to happen to him. He could've gotten into jail for that."

"The police immediately took me away when they saw me with a knife in my hand. They brought me to their office and questioned me. They literally questioned my whole existence, but I couldn't say anything. I was traumatized from everything."

"After many of my family members told the police facts about me or how I simply am, they brought me to the damn psychiatrist," she chuckles dryly, hiccuping right after.

"Many months passed, and I started talking about everything. Later on, they told me that I have," Ahri hesitates to continue talking, not accepting the fact herself. "Just some... mental illnesses, I guess. I don't wanna say which," she whispers, shaking her head. "Well, guess who's the cause of all of that shit."

The eyes of her male member widen, not in fear or judgment, but because of everything, the girl been through in her young age.

"How the fuck could a 12-year-old girl deal with all of that shit and expect to turn out fine. Of course I'll turn out this way." She asks herself angrily. "What was everyone even expecting? No one's fine after that. Everyone is so quick to judge, but so reluctant to help."

Hoseok pulls her tighter, soothing his female member. "I can't even imagine everything you went through. and I think it would be disrespectful of me to say that I understand, when I clearly have never been in your place." He shakes his head softly, sighing. "But trust me when I say that it says nothing about who you are and what goals you want to achieve."

"You're Kim Ahri Yona." He pulls away and smiles down at her faintly. "With all your flaws and mistakes, but you're much more than that. You're such a generous, kind, unique, brave and beautiful person."

He starts crying, a sad smile adorning his face. "You have been going through so much, and I wish that I could help you many years ago, but it wasn't in my fate."

"Nevertheless, it's in my fate to help you now," he smiles.

"Let's forget about your past, Cinderella, and let me be your prince."

After Hoseok and Yona went back inside, they decided to head to sleep while cuddling each other tightly.

Surprisingly, Yona didn't have any nightmares and actually, didn't dream at all.

Even though the female member has many personal problems, she still has to continue living her Idol-life. So, she wakes up in the morning and brushes her teeth.

She heads back into their shared bedroom, sliding the curtains open, the sun already rising.

Some of her members wake up without any difficulties, but others need more sleep than they get. "Yona," Jimin speaks up, gaining her attention. "Wake Yoongi hyung up," he orders while pointing at the sleeping figure of the older member.

"Why me?" She complains, waving her hands around.

"You're the only one he wouldn't kill," Namjoon chimes in, shrugging his shoulders before exiting the bedroom.

Sighing to herself, she tries to shake her older member awake.

"Hyung, wake up!" Ahri raises her voice while poking Yoongi's sides.

"No," he quietly mumbles, turning around and facing the wall.

"Can't you just wake up like a normal human being for once?" She sighs exasperatedly, arching her suddenly throbbing back.

"Are you okay?"

Whipping her head, she glances at her fellow maknae. "Huh?" She asks idiotically.

"Because of your back." He points at it. "You keep on massaging it and all."

"Oh," she blurts out, "nah, it's probably nothing. Just normal pain."

"Okay," Jeongguk smiles and makes his way outside. "Wait," Ahri calls after him, making him turn around to face her, bobbing his head to the side.

"Why are you awake? You never wake up early," she asks, shaking her head lightly.

"Oh." He scratches the back of his head, looking down at the floor. "I didn't want to burden you since you already deal with a lot," he admits with slightly reddened cheeks.

She awes, laying a hand on her chest to emphasize it. "I wish everyone would think like that," she intentionally speaks up louder so that Yoongi would hear it.

"Shut the fuck up," he murmurs, sitting up on the bed while rubbing his eyes.

"Good, you're awake," she mumbles, "one to go." Before waking the sleeping Taehyung up, she decides to tidy the room up a little, Jeongguk and Yoongi already leaving the bedroom.

"Taehyung," she calls out, shaking him while being squatted down to his eye level.

He simply shakes his head softly, a pout on his lips. Scoffing to herself, she swears under her breath. "Why am I always supposed to do the dirty work?" She questions herself.

"Because you're the youngest!" Namjoon yells from the kitchen.

"Wake up, man," she raises her voice, tired of always struggling to wake them up.

"No!" He argues, turning around so that his back is facing her. "Why the hell not?" She asks in irritation, leaning down to look at him.

Taehyung suddenly spreads his arms widely, his eyes closed. "Cuddles," he mumbles, still half asleep.

"We don't have time—" she shakes her head in denial.

"Cuddles!"

Sighing loudly, she nods her head and lays down beside him. He smiles lightly while pulling her into him tightly.

"Isn't Jimin supposed to cuddle your clingy self?" she asks tiredly, embracing him back nevertheless.

"Why cuddle one person when you can cuddle two," he articulates, shrugging his shoulders in the process.

"Is he awake—"

Speaking of the devil, Jimin opens the door and asks around, shutting his mouth immediately after seeing them, though.

"Cuddle-time!"

He rushes towards them, squeezing himself beside his female member on the small bed. "We're going to break the bed," Yona states.

"Stop saying dirty things like that," Jimin shakes his head while burying his head in the girl's neck.

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion, her mouth agape. "It wasn't supposed to be—"

"Hush." Taehyung puts a finger above Yona's lips.

"I have no rights in this household," she mumbles to herself, a small pout on her lips.

"You have the right to love and cuddle us for the rest of your life. All the time, anywhere," Jimin declares with a small smile.

Before she could respond with a witty remark, Seokjin storms into the room.

He sighs loudly, massaging his temples. "We're leaving in 5 minutes and you're not even ready!"

Ahri can't look into his eyes as she's nibbling on her bottom lip out of habit. How could she look at him after her father's actions?

"Yes, hyung," Taehyung replies, sitting up on his bed.

Seokjin simply sighs before closing the door behind him. "I'll pack your breakfast since you can't eat it here," Jimin informs Taehyung and Yona, standing up and going outside of the bedroom.

"I'll brush my teeth," Taehyung mumbles, walking out himself.

The female member of the group quickly changes her attire, going into the living room right after that.

"Finally," Namjoon sighs as the duo from Daegu arrive. He opens the front door and walks out with the others, Yona waddling behind them.

"How did you sleep?"

Her eyes widen as she whips her head around to her oldest member. "Uh, yeah, thanks," she replies awkwardly, looking down at the ground.

Seokjin chuckles lightly, a melodic sound to listen to. "Yona, look at me."

"I'm fine, thanks," she responds.

"Guys," he speaks up, gaining the attention of the other members. "Don't wait for us. We still have something to talk about."

The other six members simply nod their heads, continuing their way to the company, leaving Seokjin alone with Yona.

The sunrays fall like a blanket of white upon the duo. In their glow, the nascent leaves of spring lie papery and delicate, drinking in the energy the trees crave.

The air has the gentle heat of the new season, not warm, or cold, but tepid. On the ground lies the wetness of a recent rain-shower, soaking into the dark mud. The trees are alive with birds, which are chirping happily.

"Why are you ignoring me, Yonnie?" He asks, gazing at her intensely while her stare is still focused on the ground.

"I-I'm not," she quickly denies, shaking her head.

Sighing loudly, he places his pointer finger under her chin, pulling it up softly, locking his brown eyes with hers.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of." Jin shakes his head slowly. Yona nibbles on her bottom lip, her forehead creased slightly.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers while staring at the place where her father has slapped her beloved member.

"You didn't do anything," he declares, moving his head so that her gaze is focused on his intense eyes.

"No, it's my fault," she disagrees.

Seokjin sighs softly. "It was never your fault, Yona," he smiles softly.

"I will never let him lay a finger on you." He wraps his hands around her in a protective manner. "Not under my watch. Never again."