OVER THE past few days or so I'd developed quite a fear of guns, especially when they were being pointed at me by strangers who looked like they wanted to murder me. JJ wielding a gun didn't bother me because I knew him and I knew he'd never hurt me with it but on all other occasions it sent my heart slipping up into my throat. It made my chest tight.

I think I'd forgotten how to breathe when I saw the gun that was being held to John B's face. This whole plan had backfired right in our faces and now we were in some serious trouble. I knew I was right to have my doubts about this warehouse and here we were because I didn't push those doubts. Instead I let John B drive all the way out here.

"Why don't I just go ahead and see them hands in the air?" The man asked. I didn't even dare look forwards to him. I just pressed myself further into my chair, I wanted to hide but there was no where I could.

"All y'all's hands up in the air right now!" He yelled at us.

I rose my hands slightly, I didn't even know if he could see me but I didn't want to take the chance of him seeing me with my hands not raised.

"Oh my god." The words poured from my mouth, shakily and quietly. I almost didn't even hear myself but I saw Kie's eyes flicker to me and discreetly I looked at her. She looked just as scared as I felt.

"You, out of the car let's go!" He instructed John B, still holding the gun to him.

I watched my friend get out of the van slowly, trying to keep his hands in the air.

"Let them out!" He yelled and I gulped lowly. Did I try to hide in the back of the van or did I comply and run the risk of being shot?

"What are you waitin' on?" He shouted. He was hostile but he seemed on edge, almost like the rest of us, "What are you waitin' on? Let them out!"

A part of me wanted to tell him John B could only move so fast because he was literally holding him at gun point but I kept quiet. I didn't fancy getting shot today.

John B slid the van door open and the man followed him round, taking the gun off him and pointing it at us, "Go on! Go on! Let's get out the car! Let's go!"

Sarah got out first, "Here you go pretty girl, come on! Keep going!" He yelled.

Pope followed her out as the man carried on shouting at us and then Kie followed him. There was just JJ and I left in the van and I was still too frozen to even think about moving. It just instilled so much fear in me.

JJ climbed out after Kie did and he left me the only one in the van, his hands in the air and I watched his back the entire time with baited breath. I knew he'd be sharing similar thoughts to I — why don't I just grab the gun and fight him, why don't I just say something — and it made me anxious because nine times out of ten, JJ went through with those thoughts.

"We're broke—" He tried to reason but our threatener wouldn't have any of it.

"Shut the hell up!" He shouted angrily.

"All right! All right!" JJ tried to reason.

"Shut the hell up! Just shut up!"

I closed my eyes and exhaled, trying to keep my nerves at bay — of course JJ would try to say something to him, why wouldn't he?

"And you, come on." I opened my eyes to see the gun pointing right at me. His eyes were dark as he watched me and he gestured me out of the van, "Don't think I've forgotten about you pretty girl."

It took me more than a few seconds to even process what he was saying but apparently I was a few seconds too slow because he got into the van and grabbed my wrist, pulling me harshly from my seat and out of the van.

I so desperately wanted an adrenaline rush just to get rid of this fear I was subjected to, at least if I had that it would distract me and maybe then I'd actually be able to move on my own.

He shoved me against the outside of the van by my shoulder and returned his hand to the gun, "What's wrong?" He asked me, "Cat got your tongue?"

I clenched my jaw, my eyes flickering from the barrel of the weapon pointed to me by him several times, "Not used to being held at gun point by a psycho." I muttered.

"A psycho?" He laughed humourlessly and my heart clenched in my chest.

Now I was going to die.

"Get your hands up." He instructed me and I realised I'd dropped them, "Get your damn hands up!"

I shook my head fractionally, "Give me a second to respond, yeah?"

"You wanna shut that mouth of yours or I'll blow your brains out." He threatened, "I don't care if your pretty."

I rose my brows shortly, "I'd like to—"

Instead he grabbed my arm again and pushed me backwards with so much force I would've fell to the ground had I not of bumped into one of my friends.

"All right, all right." I muttered, "Chill, man."

"Mally." John B murmured, his voice so low no one else would hear him but I did because it was him I'd been pushed into, "Don't do this."

"I'm sorry." I apologised, not taking my eyes off the man as he moved his gun back to JJ who was now the closest to him. I didn't like that, seeing him with a gun to his head, it scared the shit out of me.

"Lay down in the ditch!" He yelled, "Lay down in the ditch! On your goddamn hands and knees! Down!"

I did as he said and I followed John B down to the ground, my bare knees and elbows resting on leaves and dirt. I was on the end, right next to John B and he was besides Sarah. It wasn't where I wanted to be, I wanted to be next to JJ — just being by his side would be enough to relax me in this situation but John B gave me some comfort as he locked eyes with me. We'd both been in this situation before, only a few days ago where I was used as bait for the compass.

He forced a small smile at me and I pressed my lips together, I was sure despite the dauntless facade I was trying to pull off he could see straight through me. He'd known me half my life for god sake, we could read each other like a book.

"Stay here just like that!" Our threatener yelled again, "Put your head down! Don't let me see you look up all right? That's all y'all gotta do!"

I watched him edge towards the van and then he climbed inside.

"It's a set up guys!" Kie told us shakily, she was minutes away from crying. I could hear her voice cracking.

"That old bat shanked us!" JJ spat in frustration and he hit the dirt.

"JB he's gonna get the gold." I told my friend quietly.

John B turned his head to me, "I know."

I wracked my brain for ideas and I looked around, my eyes landing on the guys car. The fake police light was still on and slowly I pushed myself up, trying to be as quiet as I could, "Stay here." I murmured to him.

John B shook his head, "Mal—"

Sarah looked over and she met my eye, shaking her head quickly, "No, no, no. Mally dont—"

I held my finger to my lips as I started to straighten up, "—Just be quiet."

John B tried to reach for my hand but I pushed it away while look at my friends. JJ had his head face down on the ground and I prayed he stayed like that, he'd kill me if he saw what I was going to do. Pope and Kie were looking at me now too, "Mal, don't be a hero man." Pope pleaded.

"Shh." I murmured, looking at the van while creeping backwards.

"Mal—"

I turned away as JJ whispered out to me and I rushed over to the car, climbing into the backseat and closing the door quietly. I didn't close it properly but I pulled it enough that it appeared closed. I reached forwards and pulled the keys out of the ignition, turning the car off and pocketing them before getting down in the footwell of the back and hiding.

"All right, y'all stay just like that unless you want your brains blown out all over this road!" He threatened.

Hearing his voice again I felt my legs grow numb, the first stage of an adrenaline rush. I could've thanked whoever was watching down on me because I needed the extra kick of dauntlessness. I was ballsy when I had an adrenaline rush.

"Don't more your goddamn heads, okay?" He ordered and I just prayed he didn't spot me missing.

I heard the drivers side door shut and he dropped the gun and the gold to the passenger seat. I could feel my heart ricocheting against my chest and I shot forwards, wrapping my arm around his neck and pinning him to the seat.

He spluttered in surprise and I pulled all my weight into my arm around his neck. He tried to reach for the gun in the passenger seat but I got there first and reached forwards to snatch it. I didn't care about the gold at the moment, I'd get that later.

I dropped the gun by my side and pushed his head into the side of the car window once, twice. It didn't seem to matter though because he still sprung round after the attack and faced me, lunging for me and the gun. I sat back in the chair and brought my leg up, placing my foot in the centre of his chest and kicking him backwards. I grabbed the gun and pumped the chamber, clicking the round into place and holding it to him.

"Don't you fucking move." I threatened, my finger on the trigger. His eyes widened but I kept my jaw tight, "Get out the car."

He did just that but instead of staying still he came for my door, pulling it open and lunging in. I kicked him in the chest again and watched him stumble back while I got out the car. He straightened but he didn't seem deterred and so I hit him over the side of his face with the chamber of the gun before holding it to his head again.

The thought that I was matching up to his level, doing to him exactly what he'd just done to me didn't cross my mind. I was too busy fighting on this adrenaline rush to even think about stopping.

I saw my friends rush forwards and JJ swung for him, hitting him in the side but he hit him in the face, knocking him to the ground. Kie tried next but she failed just as much as JJ did.

"Mal, give me the gun." John B said to me but I wasn't listening to him, "C'mon put it down." He coaxed.

"Yeah over our dead bodies." I responded bitterly and I twisted the weapon and rammed it into his back, right between his shoulders, watching as he fell to the floor.

Sarah grabbed on to the open car door and hit it into him twice.

"I got the gold!" Pope yelled to us.

I watched as Kie kicked him in the stomach and he grunted in pain and Pope kicked him too. He rolled, his back pressed against the car as he panted, "You son of a bitch!" Kie yelled.

I stepped in front of him, holding the gun to his face again, "Last time you underestimate a group of teenagers, huh?" I asked him. I looked to John B who was watching me wearily and nodded at him.

He stepped forwards and pulled the balaclava down off his face.

"I know this piece of shit!" JJ spat and I didn't realise he was next to me until just now, "He's a basehead!"

"Probably knows my brother." Sarah grumbled.

"He sells coke to my dad." JJ said.

"All right. Listen." He tried to reason, "I couldn't hurt any single one of y'all."

"—Yeah that's about right!" I snapped, twisting the gun and stepping forwards to hit him but John B wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back.

"Mally!" Kie yelled.

Pope wrestled the gun out my hands while John B held me and while they were distracted with me JJ hit the dude again.

"All right, chill guys." John B told us.

I tried to pry his arms off me but he didn't budge and I had a flashback to when that square grouper had a hold of me — when he was dragging me to their truck and all of a sudden I felt suffocated.

I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe, like someone was sitting on my chest and they wouldn't get off me. It was panic inducing and I felt like I was going to die.

"John B—" I tried to force out, pulling desperately on my friends arms, "—John B, get off me!" I screamed. I didn't know how to control this. I was sweating, my heart palpitating and I almost felt as if I was drowning.

John B wouldn't let go of me and I couldn't understand why and suddenly I wasn't looking at Kie and Pope anymore I was looking back at my friend. I was looking at John B and that square grouper as I was pulled further and further away from him.

I didn't know how to escape it and in my fear I kicked John B's leg forcefully and slammed by head back into his.

"Argh!" He muttered and he loosened his hold on me enough for me to pull his arms off me and step out of his captivating grasp, only to step straight into Pope's.

"Mal, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sarah asked me. I was looking at Pope through clouded eyes and I hadn't even realised I'd started to cry. I forced Pope's arms off me and stepped back away from my friends.

"You don't know—" I yelled to them, a tear rolling down my cheek, "All right, you don't know how it feels to have a gun pressed to your head while someone uses you as bait!"

"Shit." John B mumbled. His face dropped as he lowered his hand from his nose and he tried to step towards me, "Mal, I'm so sorry."

"Don't touch me." I snapped until more tears dropped from my eyes, "Please, I just—" I swallowed harshly and crouched to the floor, "I can't."

It was too overwhelming and even though I had all this space I felt as if I was suffocating. It was such an overpowering feeling of doom, I hated it. I'd never felt like this before.

I felt someone's hand touch my shoulder and I flinched away until I saw Kie crouching down by me. She gave me her best comforting smile but I could see straight through it, she was rattled herself, "Hey, it's okay." She tried to comfort me. I saw how confused she was watching me break down like this but she tried to push it aside as she gently pulled me towards her, "You're all right, you hear me?" She asked me gently.

"Come on, guys." Pope said, he too had bent down to see if I was okay, "Let's get out of here."

"JJ." Kie pressed but my head was in the crook of her neck.

I didn't see what he was doing but his response was, "We got one last stop."

"Hey!" John B called over to him.

"Let's go see where this son of a bitch lives."

"JJ!" Kie yelled again. I could only assume she was trying to get him to come and give me some sense of comfort but I knew he wouldn't.

JJ was fighting his own battle right now and it was called anger. Once he succumbed to it there was no trying to overrule him, no trying to tell him what to do or talk him out of a bad decision. My friends didn't have that effect on him and they knew it. It was me, I was the only one who could pull JJ back before he fell into the deep end but I was fighting my own problems right now.

"C'mon." Sarah mumbled and I felt her hand on my other shoulder. She and Kie pulled me up to my feet but my knees were shaking so much I thought I was just going to fall to the floor.

John B stepped in, wrapping my arm over his shoulder and his arm around my waist to keep my on my feet, "I'm sorry." He apologised to me again as the van started, JJ in the front seat.

"It's all right." I murmured in response, "I'm all right."

"No." He shook his head to me as we started to walk away, "You're not, Mal."

"Hey, I'm gonna remember this shit!" The man yelled after us and I flinched but John B just pulled me closer to him, "You can't hide from me! I know exactly who y'all are. Huh? You're gonna see me again!"

"Where're the keys?" John B asked me.

I reached into my back pocket and pulled them out, dropping them into his hand. John B threw the keys into the trees next to us and we turned back to see the man trying to crawl towards us.

"Hurry up!" JJ shouted after us.

John B sighed in annoyance, "Christ, c'mon."

"I'mma see you again!" The man shouted after us and John B helped me into the back of the van where Kie, Pope and Sarah were sat while he climbed in the front with JJ.

I didn't even climb on to the seats, instead I just collapsed down on the floor with an exhausted sigh and drew my knees into my chest.

• • •

It took my some time before I felt like I wasn't at risk of bursting out crying but I couldn't stop thinking of what had just happened to us and then comparing it to what John B and I went through with the square groupers.

I couldn't understand why it was having such a big impact on me, I got that having a gun held to your head messed you up a little but I thought I was stronger than that. I guess I saw myself as invincible, that nothing could ever harm or effect me but I'd never been so wrong in all of my life. But then I've never really been in these types of situations I keep catching myself in lately.

I almost felt weak and it wasn't something I liked. I was strong, I am strong — or at least I thought I was. It was confusing. I'd never felt like how I did twenty minutes ago before, I'd never felt suffocated in such a big space. I'd never felt so much panic and fear before, like someone was sitting on my chest. I didn't know what it was but it was something I wanted to bottle up and never touch ever again. I wanted to avoid a repeat of that for the rest of my life.

"Mally." John B mumbled. He pulled me out of my wrecked thoughts and I looked up, leaning again the back of his chair so see his eyes already on me. He tried to give me some sort of comforting smile, "You good?"

I nodded, "I think so." I replied quietly, wrapping my arms around myself and hugging myself, "I can't get it out of my head though."

He nodded. That day had effected the both of us more than what we'd ever let on, "Try not to think about it."

"I just wish I could get it out my head." I responded, lowering my chin to rest on my knees. I could feel the eyes of Pope, Kie and Sarah, they had no idea what John B and I were talking about because we'd never told them before. Telling JJ at the time was hard enough for me.

"What— uh." Kie cleared her throat, "What are you guys talking about."

I was succumbed to silence and I found myself looking out of the window. I couldn't answer Kie, I didn't want to talk about it.

"It's, erm.." John B paused, he was at a loss for words, "It's a bit personal— too close to home at the minute." He replied, "I'll tell you guys later."

"When Mal's not here don't you mean?" JJ asked him, speaking for the first time since we'd gotten into the minivan. He still sounded angry, his tone was hostile.

"JJ man." John B sighed, "I don't think she—"

He scoffed in response, cutting John B off, "Those square groupers who were after the compass almost kidnapped her." JJ blurted out unsympathetically.

I winced at his words, hearing them was something I just wasn't accustomed to. I wanted to forget about it, that's why I pushed myself to overcome it after it happened. It was so I could bury it and never think about it again but after what just happened I felt like that was the worst thing I could've done. It didn't help me and in a similar situation with a gun aimed to me my head clawed at the still raw memory. Bottling it up had done me more harm than good because I never had the chance to overcome the ordeal.

"Can we not.." I shot before I caught my tongue. I shook my head before lowering my voice again, "I don't want to talk about it."

I wasn't happy that JJ had just brought it up like that. If I wanted to tell the three that didn't know I would've but I didn't want to discuss it so I didn't tell them. John B was going to tell them somewhere where I wasn't and I would've much preferred that but JJ just went and blurted it out.

"Mal—" Kie tried, her eyes soft as she looked at me.

"Please Kie, I just can't talk about it yet." I pleaded with her. I didn't want to tell her the story because then I'd be reliving it all over again.

"That's okay." Sarah replied, "But whenever you are we'll be here to listen."

I only nodded in response to their support and the noise in the van minimised to nothing again. The radio wasn't even on and I'd never felt so much tension between us all before. We just continued driving to wherever we were going.

"Welcome to crackhead wasteland." Sarah muttered as we drove through the outskirts. This place was that the Kook's thought the rest of us Pogue's lived like but in reality it was far from. This was the north side of the Cut, the place where all the drug dealers and crackheads lived.

"I don't know about this, man." Pope voiced his uneasiness as the van squeaked to a stop and JJ pulled the keys out, "Dude why are we at Barry's?"

Oh yeah, the dude that tried to steal the gold and held us at gunpoint was called Barry.

"This'll only take a second." JJ responded, ignoring Pope as he got out the van.

Kie slid the side door open and we watched as JJ walked over towards the run down chalet, "Where you going?" John B called after him.

"Yo soy justicia." JJ replied, walking into Barry's crackhouse.

"Did you glean anything from that?" Pope asked us.

JJ didn't often speak Spanish but when he did it was a reminder of how naturally smart he was. He would never admit it though.

I nodded. I had opted out of Spanish this past school year purely because I didn't like the teacher but I knew enough to understand some of what he said, "Something about justice."

Kie looked to us, "You know somebody should probably—"

John B opened his door, "—Yeah, I got it." He replied, getting out and turning to me.

"Right." Kie nodded.

I sighed while meeting John B's gaze. He was asking me — no, begging me to come in with him. He knew he could only say so much before he made JJ even angrier and I bit my lip. I wasn't sure what I could say to him to calm him down when I was feeling so unstable myself.

I scooted forwards and to the edge of the van as John B held his hand out for me to take. I grabbed it as he helped me up and out of the van and I put both my hands into the back pockets of my shorts while we walked to the desolate property.

Neither of us said anything to each other as we walked in, instead we listened to the sound of things being tossed and moved around. John B walked in first, holding the door for me and I followed him in, "Yeah, so what's your plan, slick?" John B asked JJ, his back to us with he continued raiding the place.

"Well, as thou hath stealeth from us we shall stealeth from ye." He replied, pulling cushions off the sofa.

I sighed softly, "JJ." I muttered and I watched him tense. He clearly hadn't realised I'd followed him in as well but he didn't turn around or reply to me for that matter. He knew exactly why I was here and he didn't seem impressed about it.

"That kind of got lost in translation." John B said but I understood what JJ was implying.

He looked away from his searching and to our friend, "An eye for an eye, John B."

He tried to walk into the kitchen but John B stood in front of him, "Yeah, yeah, that's great JJ, but what happens after you rob a drug dealer, huh? He knows who we are."

He scoffed and walked passed him, "I'm not scared of this guy."

"JJ don't—" John B tried but he'd already walked away from him. I twirled the crescent moon charm of my necklace in my fingers in silence as JJ walked to the back of the house.

John B turned to me with a sigh and I nodded, "Yeah.. I'll try my best."

He didn't reply to me as I followed JJ and the sounds he was creating until I walked into a very small bedroom, "JJ." I tried from the doorway but he wasn't listening.

He walked over to the small wardrobe but before he could get there I stepped in front of him, holding the palm of my hand up as it pressed against his chest. Last night had been so amazing for us and I woke up feeling on top of the word yet here I was now, a crumbling mess.

I just wanted JJ to comfort me, to tell me it would be all right but he wouldn't do that when he was stuck on a path of self destruction.

I leaned my head on his chest, "Please, just don't do it." I tried to reason with him quietly, reaching my hand for his and slowly intertwining our fingers, "We don't have to do this."

"He deserves it." JJ replied to me, anger lacing his tone, "After what he put us through— put you through."

I looked up to him, my eyes meeting his blue ones and they were filled with fury, "He was not the cause of that." I told him. We both knew what he was referring to.

He clenched his jaw, "No but he damn triggered it."

"How do you know what triggered it when I don't even know myself?" I asked him softly.

He held my eyes for a minute before he brushed passed me lightly, letting go of my hand as he started rummaging through the wardrobe, "JJ, please—"

"—There's nothing you can say to stop me, Mally." He told me defiantly, "I'm doing this."

"And I'm asking you not to." I responded, watching as he pulled a duffel bag out and emptied it on to the bed.

Several stacks of cash created a pile and he grinned, "There we go."

"Don't do it." I tried, "I don't want you—"

"—What are you doing?" John B called, interrupting me and I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"Getting even!" JJ called back to our friend, putting the cash back into the bag and grabbing it. He walked passed me as if I were invisible and I shook my head. What else could I do or say to stop him.

"All right." I heard him say to John B and I turned to follow him out, "Took care of business."

"Hey, lo-look at me." John B tried to intercept, grabbing his shoulders and I watched them, "If you keep going down this road you're gonna end up just like your dad—"

JJ grabbed his shirt and I swallowed nervously as he replied, "You watch your mouth, man." He warned, "Aren't you tired of being messed with?"

"That's not the point, JJ." John B reasoned.

"'Cause I am." He replied and he let go of his shirt, walking for the door.

"For fuck sake." I murmured, following after him.

"All right." He said from outside, "So, we're looking at just over four grand each for reparations for putting us through that bullshit—"

I walked out on the porch and saw him standing by Pope. My three friends looked at me, "—JJ!"

"Sorry 'bout that y'all." He ignored me again. He was starting to irritate me now, I was getting to the point of feeling like pulling my hair out when John B emerged from the house next to me.

"So that's what we're doing now? We're robbing drug dealers?" Kie asked.

"This Barry guy's gonna find out." Sarah told him and I walked down to them with my arms crossed, "He's gonna come after us."

"Yes he will." Pope agreed, "This is not the time to start wildin' out."

"How'd you guys like havin' a gun pulled on you?" JJ snapped.

John B stepped forwards, so close to JJ, "Relax."

"He had it right here on you, bro." He told him, pointing to his forehead.

"Look." John B snapped, "We've gotta go get the gold, okay? Just give me that shit, I'm putting it back."

He look the duffel bag from JJ's hands but before he could step round him JJ grabbed his shirt and he pushed John B into the side of the van, the slam echoing around us making me jump.

I stepped forwards, enough was enough.

"Do you feel like a tough guy, huh?" John B asked him.

"John B." I scolded. What was the point in me trying to calm JJ down when he was just going to rile him up.

"What are you gonna do when he comes for us?" John B snapped.

"We punch him in the throat." JJ replied.

"No we don't." I snapped, pushing them both apart, "We don't touch him."

But they continued to ignore me, "Yeah, good fuckin' idea, JJ."

"I'm not putting it back." He replied.

"Yes you are." I told him, "I'm not letting you steal from—"

"—You don't have to let me." He cut me off, getting into the van, "I already am, are you getting in or what?"

"No." I replied, "Not until you put it back!"

Everyone else was silent and I watched JJ with my arms crossed as he clenched his jaw. He got out of the van after a while and looked at us, "What?"

"We're sick of your shit." John B replied.

I groaned loudly, "I thought you wanted me to try and put this right?" I asked him, "This.. this isn't helping."

"No, no Mal." JJ said, "I'm curious, what shit?"

"Your pulling guns on people shit." Kie told him.

"You acting like a fricken maniac—" Pope said.

"—Pope, I took the fall for you man!" JJ yelled, "Know how much money I owe because of you?"

"I'm gonna pay you back and I didn't even ask you to do that!" He argued.

"I just did!" JJ yelled, squaring up, "Pay it back. Right here, right now, by myself."

"No, JJ you don't need to steal from a drug dealer to pay your restitution." I told him, stepping between him and Pope, "I've already told you I'm going to help you."

"Did it ever cross you mind that I want to do something for myself just this once, Mal?" JJ argued with me, "Instead of having you do it all for me."

"What—?" I scoffed in disbelief, "JJ you said you were all right with that! I asked you and you—"

"—You didn't give me the choice!" He yelled.

I stepped back. He'd gotten so close to me and the proximity wouldn't bother me if we weren't arguing. I shook my head to myself, "Well I'm sorry you feel that way." I told him.

"Yeah?" He questioned, "I am too."

"I'm sorry that I care about you too fucking much to see you go down for something you didn't even do!" I shouted, stepping towards him, "I'm sorry that all I want for you is the best JJ, all right? I'm sorry that I'm trying to give you your best shot! I'm sorry that I want to pay your restitution to help you out—"

"—You know that's exactly what I'm gonna do." He told me. He wasn't shouting at me like I was him, he didn't even raise his voice but his chest was heaving just as much as mine was. He turned back and grabbed the bag, "I'm gonna pay the restitution and I'm gonna go off by myself."

"You're what?" I asked incredulously as he walked away from me.

"JJ.." Pope tried.

"Hey, wait guys." John B tried to stop us.

"Just let him go." Sarah told us but I wasn't going to listen to her as I watched JJ's back as he walked away from me.

"JJ!" I yelled after him, "Stop!"

"Let me do this Mal!" He yelled back, not even turning back to me.

I tried to run after him, "J, please, don't do this. I need you right now!"

He turned around, emotion swirling in his eyes, "No you don't.. you don't need me." He replied, "All I do is make everything worse."

"What?" I asked him exhaling, tears rising to my eyes, "No you don't."

"Please, Mal." He told me, "Just leave me alone for a while, yeah?"

"JJ—" I tried to run after him but John B caught me. He gently wrapped his arms around me, stopping me from following him. He wasn't as tight as last time and I think he had that in the back of his head and after watching JJ walk away until I couldn't see him anymore I turned to my friend and I buried my head into his neck.

I cried, tears dropping down my cheeks and onto John B's shirt while he held me, rubbing my back comfortingly. He tried to tell me it would be all right and that JJ would be all right but I wasn't listening to him. His words went in one ear and right out of the other and I was left wondering where it all went wrong. How the six of us had just crumbled so quickly.

• • •

A/N; you guys know what's coming next don't you?