KIE PULLED the tin JJ had stashed the two joints in out and the three of us sat down on the boat as the sun started it's slow decent. I couldn't think of anything worse right now than being stuck out here for god knows how long with these two while they hated each other. I get that Kie and I had some unresolved issues but that was nothing, we could work it out in a matter of minutes. Her and Sarah on the other hand, I don't think that was ever going to be resolved.

I didn't understand why JJ and John B left me out here with them. JJ said payback but I truly think him stranding me here with these two was a big stretch, especially given I only scared him. Perhaps they thought I'd mediate between these girls? If they thought I was going to do that they were way out of shot.

I refused to get directly involved in Kiara and Sarah's problems.

"It's for the pain." Kie told Sarah as she took the two joints out, passing one to me. The Kook — if I could really call her that — sat in between us, her legs stretched out in front of her as she cradled her jellyfish sting. Yeah, Sarah was a Kook but so were Kie and I really. I mean, I was a Pogue but my mom was a Kook meaning I was somewhat of a Kook — an outcast really.

Kie lit her joint and passed the lighter along to me and I took it, putting the joint into my mouth and sparking it up. I inhaled the weed with a sigh before exhaling and looked around us, "I told myself I was gonna have one day without weed and alcohol." I muttered, "Clearly today is not that day."

Sarah snapped the joint out of Kie's mouth while I relished in the hit of my own and she inhaled deeply, "Go easy." Kie warned her, "It's JJ's cousin's Cripple."

Sarah started coughing wildly and I leaned against the boat, meeting Kie's eyes as Sarah leaned forwards while continuing to cough. I raised my brows and took another drag of the joint I had to myself.

I reached out patted Sarah's back awkwardly while she tried to stop coughing, "Can't say she didn't warn you."

Sarah finally stopped spluttering and she sat back groaning, passing the joint back to Kie. She panted, out of breath from her coughing and she turned to me with a confused frown, "How come you get a full one?" She asked.

"I've been smoking these since I was 15." I responded without a beat, looking down to the joint, "Plus I deserve a full one. I got marooned here with you guys."

"Way to make it sound like you want to be here." Kie muttered loud enough for us both to hear.

"I don't." I told her honestly, "Hence why I didn't try to make it sound like I wanted to be."

"Y'know it's going to be a long night if we spend it arguing." Sarah said, taking a drag of the joint as she plucked it back from Kie's hands.

I ran my hand over my face tiredly and leaned against the back of the boat, drawing one leg up to my chest, "It's going to be a long night anyways."

"Shit." Kie muttered and she turned to me, "I bet they didn't bring that tea you drink to help you sleep."

I shook my head while rolling my eyes, "Why would they, bunch of idiots. I swear it's like they don't even care I have a head injury either."

"Why do you need help sleeping?" Sarah asked me curiously.

"Insomnia." I replied, looking out across the marsh, "My solution was to get so high or drunk I'd blackout for the night—"

"—Like you did last night?" Kie asked.

I nodded, "Like I did last night but my dad and I found this remedy and Heyward could get his hands on it for half the price we were paying."

Sarah nodded, her curiously cured and I got up while holding the joint in between my lips. I walked over to the cargo hold and pulled the latch up, checking what food our idiotic friends had left us. There were a few bags of chips, some sweets — basically just food I wanted when I got the munchies. I would've normally accepted it but I had nothing in my stomach and I was starving.

"What we got?" Kie asked me, her voice carrying over.

I looked at her and pulled my lips into a distasteful frown, "It's gonna be a long ass night, they only left us snacks and I am starving."

Sarah and Kie groaned in response and I grabbed a packet of salted chips, opening the grab back while tossing two chocolate bars over to the girls. I closed the cargo hold and leaned against the bow of the boat, extending my legs in front of me and putting the packet of chips in between my legs, munching on them while continuing to smoke the joint.

• • •

The only thing keeping it from being even more awkward than what it already was was me talking to Sarah Cameron. Kie clearly wasn't interested and she sat — her face glum like it normally was after she smoked — and listened to us converse. She rarely butted in, instead she gave the occasional head shake or eye roll whenever Sarah said something or laughed too loud.

I could feel how tense she was — Sarah — stuck on a boat with a girl she barely knew and a girl who hated her guts. I didn't really know what to do to make this remotely better. It was clear Kie had no intention of patching things up with Sarah and that left me trying to keep us from falling into an awkward silence because I don't think I could actually handle that right now.

The temptation to jump overboard and swim back to the mainland was growing higher and higher and at the minute I was thinking a few jellyfish stings were worth it if it got me out of this painful situation.

Sarah and I had slipped into a game of would you rather and I found another joint hiding away in JJ's bag he'd conveniently forgotten about. I was half way through smoking the joint while the blonde girl giggled to herself, "Would you rather have—" She cleared her throat and looked to Kie who wasn't interested, "I was just imagining you like this just now, it was pretty funny, would you imag—would you rather have nipples for eyes or eyes for nipples?" She asked, her words jumbling up due to her intoxicated state.

I inhaled deeply, taking a big drag of the joint in response and muttering as I exhaled, "Christ."

"Imagine if you get really old and your nipples— your boobs get saggy and your nipples, if they were your eyes, you could see if your shoes were untied." She carried on, chuckling to herself until Kie glared at her unimpressed.

"Is this like your first time smoking or something?" She asked her in annoyance.

"No." Sarah muttered sheepishly. It was very clear that it was her first time but it didn't matter, everyone had a first time for everything. Hell, I remember my first time smoking, JJ and John B had to carry me to bed.

"Hey.. Kiara?" Sarah asked, breaking our silence again.

"Oh my god." Kie groaned and I couldn't help but shake my head at her hostility, "Enough of the 'hey Kiara' bullshit." She snapped, "Why'd you do it?"

"Why'd I do what?" Sarah asked with a shrug.

"We were best friends." Kie responded, "We-we stole beers from your dad's fridge, we watched movies together, we cried about boys.. and then the next thing I know I'm watching your birthday party through Instagram."

Sharp realisation hit me. This is why Kie was so upset with Sarah, she'd cut her out.

"It was one party." Sarah replied.

"You invited everybody except me... you even invited Mally."

They both looked to me. This was what, two or three years ago now? So we're talking around the time I decided I didn't want a life on Figure Eight as a Kook. It was when I was bobbing between my mom's and my dad's — spending every other weekend at my moms house. I was still somehow being invited to Kook parties and events. I didn't know how or why, it wasn't like I was exactly liked by the people in Figure Eight my age. It was a weird age, they liked talking to me but their parents told them they shouldn't hang out with me because I was from the other side of the island, blah, blah, blah.

So even though I didn't go to the Kook Academy I somehow already racked up an invite to the Cameron's birthday parties. Although the more I think about it, the more I realise the only reason I was probably invited was because my mom lived on the same street as the Cameron's.

However the way Kie said that she even invited me didn't make me feel good. In fact she made me feel like an outsider — which I accepted — but she'd never made me feel like that before because she was an outsider on Kook land too.

I furrowed my brows, feeling a bit defensive, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You spent every other weekend in Figure Eight." Kie replied, "You were barely even a Kook and she invited you over me."

I rolled my eyes, "Look, Kiara, there's no need to start being horrible to me just because you're jealous Sarah didn't invite you to a party."

She scoffed, "I'm not being horrible—"

"Oh, you are." I told her bluntly, "May as well just say the words outsider."

"I didn't mean it like that." She narrowed her eyes.

"Whatever Kie." I replied lazily, "I'm sick of arguing with you lately, I just can't really be assed anymore. I'm not really sure why you're complaining, the party got busted anyways — I got a warning from the cops for drinking."

"But Sarah told everyone I was the reason the party got busted." Kie spoke over me, her voice raising in frustration.

I shrugged, "Maybe you were."

"Exactly." Sarah agreed with me, "Who else would've called the cops?"

"You never asked." Kie shook her head, "You just let the rumour go... that I was a rat. You were by best friend and then you ghosted me and I don't even know why! I mean really what did I do?"

Sarah paused and I munched on my chips while watching the interaction.

"You liked me."

"What?" Kie asked in confusion.

All we could hear was the water in the marsh moving with the wind influencing it gently and Kie and I watched Sarah, waiting for her to find the words to reply.

"When... people get.. close to me, I feel trapped." She told us, "And.. then I bail. And then I blame them for it." Sarah turned to Kie and she looked genuinely sincere, "I'm really sorry ... and I miss you."

Suddenly I felt like I shouldn't be here but there was no where else for me to go. I felt like I was invading the moment, here Sarah was spilling her heart out to Kie about why she'd cut her off and I was infringing on their conversation, invading their privacy.

"Do you think there's a chance we could be okay again?" Sarah asked.

"Honestly?" Kie muttered, "I don't know."

• • •

I stared up at the stars littering the dark sky as I laid across the cargo hold, my arm underneath my head as I rested on a thin and lumpy pillow that belonged on a deck chair. I had JJ's jumper on, grateful that I decided to bring it along and a thin blanket draped across my legs.

I didn't know what time it was, I left my phone at home and there was no way of telling the time on the boat. All I knew was that it was still dark and I felt like I'd been lying here awake for hours.

Kie and Sarah didn't say anything else to each other and we just kind of took it as our cue to go to sleep. It had been silent between us since that conversation and I didn't know how to break such a thick silence.

I didn't know if I was the only one awake or not but when Kie spoke I guessed we were all still awake, "Hey Sarah?"

A small smile broke out on my face as I remained quiet. Kie had laid into Sarah for using that phrase, yet here she was using it to grab her attention.

"Hey Kiara." She replied softly.

"Promise me that you won't bail on John B." There was some silence before Kie continued, "He's not just.. some other guy.. and he really, really likes you."

I did think Kie asked a lot of people with her promise me this, promise me that jig she had going at the minute but I sat with her on this one. John B was our friend and I loved seeing him happy again after he'd been stuck in a dark spiral since his dad had died. Sarah was bringing him out of that spiral, showing him what it was like to be happy again and our friend was falling hard for her. I'd hate it, after bringing him out of such a dark place, if Sarah bailed on him and gave him no reason behind it either. It would crush him and it would crush us seeing him so heartbroken.

"I won't." Sarah muttered.

"Promise me?" Kie asked.

"I promise." She said to us, or rather to Kie. So she might've dumped Topper on his ass but let's be honest, he did kind of deserve it. If she'd of broken up with him for less than genuine reasons I'd be concerned and I would openly say to John B that I thought she might be playing him. But I believed Sarah, I believed her intentions were right.

Kie sighed after some silence between the three of us. I'm almost certain she knew I was awake but maybe Sarah thought I was asleep, I wasn't sure, but Kie spoke up, "Also, I'm sorry I called the cops."

I rolled on to my side to face her with wide and disbelieving eyes, "You did what?"

"I knew it." Sarah giggled as she turned to Kie too, "I knew it you bitch."

Kie started laughing with Sarah and I just sat there open mouthed, "Kie I cant even believe you called the cops, man."

"I told you!" Sarah laughed.

"You-you should've invited me." Kie argued, laughing.

I chuckled, "Kie my mom tried to ground me for three weeks after I got that warning from the cops."

"I'm sorry." She laughed, finding amusement in the situation.

"So you called the cops?" Sarah asked her, she was still

"Yes." Kie laughed.

I shook my head, lying back against the cargo hold again while we laughed in disbelief, "You know if we're being honest I should tell you that I snuck JJ and John B into that party."

"You know I could've sworn I saw them there." Sarah laughed and I nodded in agreement, "I saw them hiding by the barbecue."

"I also swapped Topper's punch out for straight vodka." I laughed.

"Oh my god you monster." Sarah laughed, looking at me wide eyed.

It was a brutal thing to do, to swap my — at the time — fifteen year old stepbrothers regular fruit punch out for straight vodka but I just couldn't resist.

"Where the hell did you get straight vodka?" Kie asked me.

"The stash my mom keeps in the pantry." I responded, "She'd not very good at hiding things."

The three of us continued laughing until we settled down and I released a happy sigh, looking at the stars, "I'm sorry for being a bitch, Kie." I apologised to my friend, "Things have just been getting to me, you know?"

"It's all right." Kie replied, "I understand."

I nodded, "I just didn't know who to lash out on.. I guess you were the first person the wheel landed on."

"Hey I'm not bothered." She told me honestly, "If it helped you offload."

"I think it did." I replied with a sigh, "I don't know."

She sat up and she turned to face me, "C'mon then, what's going on?"

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked curiously, turning my head to look at her and Sarah.

"Can't say I have." Kie shook her head. She looked genuinely surprised that I was asking her but I could see her cheeks twitching slightly. She was forcing herself not to smile as she looked at me, "Why.. are you—?"

"—I honestly don't know." I replied, "It's too soon to be in love right? We only confessed our feelings for each other a few days ago." I muttered, staring up at the stars. Was I rushing into this? There was no way I could be in love with JJ, surely, like I said I only admitted and accepted my feelings for him a couple of days ago. Maybe it was just my feelings growing stronger for him now I'd acknowledged them.

"But how long have you had feelings for JJ?" Sarah asked me, sitting up and drawing her knees to her chest.

"God." I mumbled, "I had a crush on him when we were, like, eleven or something." I admitted, "I just saw that shark tooth necklace he always wears and I thought 'yeah, I fancy that'." The three of us chuckled softly until I continued, "But he taught me how to surf when we were, how to ride a bike, hell he even taught me how to swipe."

"Swipe?" Sarah asked in confusion.

"Steal." Kie and I chimed, "Not proud of it though." I added.

Sarah nodded, "Sounds like you've had feelings for him for a while."

"Yeah, it seems that way." I agreed, "When we got older though he started taking interest in other girls but I was always the one he would come back to, if you know what I mean? I was the one he'd see the sunrise with."

"Yeah." Kie nodded in understanding, "It was like even though he was off with other girls doing whatever he did with them he'd always leave them and come back for you. He'd always check where you were, how you were and if you were safe."

"Yeah." I agreed, "I always just saw it as him being a great friend but.."

"He was always there for you." Kie told me honestly, "And he is now."

"Exactly." I nodded, "Me, not those other girls he ran off to.. and we always had this flirty banter thing going on."

"So what stopped you guys?" Sarah asked me casually.

"Well." I chuckled, looking over to her, "John B made this rule — it's a pretty shit rule too."

"I wanna hear it." Sarah probed, crossing her legs and leaning forwards.

"All right." I nodded, "No Pogue-on-Pogue macking."

"No Pogue-on-Pogue macking?" She repeated, "What-what does that mean?"

"It means none of us can mack on the other.. because then it makes things awkward." Kie enlightened.

Sarah's brows furrowed as she looked at me, "But.."

"..Yeah I know." I laughed lightly, "John B and I broke the rule."

"And it was pretty awkward." Kie told Sarah, "John B and Mal couldn't look at each other for like three days, JJ wouldn't talk to them for a weeks and Pope and I just.. didn't have a clue what to do."

"Yeah, none of us really knew what to do with each other." I replied, "And that was only three months ago."

"That's wild." Sarah muttered, "I didn't know how close you guys actually were."

Kie and I nodded, "Yeah when they're not pulling shit like this I don't mind them."

"Right?" Kie agreed with me.

"So have you guys just.. scrapped the rule?" Sarah asked us curiously.

"I mean JJ and I have for sure." I told her, "We don't care anymore. We told each other about our feelings and now we're doing it our way. I just don't know if these feelings are love or if it's me liking him more. I only accepted the fact I liked him, like, last week or something."

"Okay, so maybe because you were suppressing these feelings for so long you didn't actually understand how strong they were." Kie suggested with a shrug, "And now you've accepted them you're realising how strong they actually are."

"That's a good point." Sarah agreed with her, "It's definitely a possibility."

I nodded, "I just don't really know what love is. Topper tried to—"

"—Don't listen to Topper." Sarah shook her head as she warned me, "Topper isn't in love with me."

I arched my brow at her in confusion, "Are you sure?" I questioned, "Because he told me he was."

Sarah shook her head again and sighed, running her fingers through her hair, "Topper is in love with the idea of being in love with me." She told me, "There's a big difference."

"Right." I nodded, letting her words sink in. It was.. a game changer to say the least. She was making me doubt myself now.

"But if you are in love with JJ you'll know about it, Mally." She said to me, "Honestly."

"How?" I shook my head.

"You just know." She told me and I nodded in response.

"Well.. you and JJ have never really followed the rules anyways." Kie said, talking for the first time in a while as she looked to me. She was steering us gently back onto the topic of John B's rule.

"Yeah." I nodded in agreement with her. It was the solid truth, JJ and I had a certain disregard for rules — it was just another quality that we shared I guess., "But I guess the rule still kind of stands? I'm not sure." I added. 

"You know that day at the kegger I could see how much you meant to JJ." Sarah told me.

I looked at her and smiled, "Really?"

She nodded, "And Midsummers. He had his eyes on you like you were the only girl in the world.. it was sweet."

"God don't tell him you thought he was being sweet." I said to Sarah with a chuckle, "He'll never do anything affectionate ever again."

She grinned, "I won't... but honestly, seeing the way he looked at you — it made me jealous."

"Why?" I asked her curiously.

"You two have a free relationship." She told me, "You can do whatever you want together and you actually chose each other. With Topper and I it was more .. forced." Sarah ran her hand through her hair as she searched for the right word, "It was like we were paired together by our parents and they expected us to marry each other."

"I like you Sarah, so I say this not to be mean but I don't take you as the girl who'll just sit back and be pulled around on a string." I told her honestly.

She nodded, "I'm not. I don't like being controlled and Topper he— he was controlling at times and I hated it."

"Then why'd you put up with it?" I asked her, "I mean I've known him what? Seven years? I know how much of a control freak he is."

Sarah chuckled in agreement, "You're not wrong there." She told me, "But I guess I just liked his company.. before he started getting controlling."

I nodded and my mind cast back to the night at the Hawk's Nest. I still felt somewhat uneasy about my decision, I felt like I was wrecking the relationship we were finally making. Granted we hadn't patched much up, at all, but we had come further than what we ever had.

"I—" I froze, did I want to tell my friends this? I think I needed it off my chest, maybe it would help me for more at ease with it.

"What's wrong?" Kie asked.

"I kind of.. I gave Topper a sort of ultimatum the other night."

Sarah's brows furrowed, "You did?"

I pressed my lips together and nodded, "I saw him push John B." I told them both, "So when I saw him lurking I ran after him and I basically said.. if he didn't convince his mom to drop the charges against JJ I'd tell Peterkin about how they beat up Pope and about the movie series and about how he was driving round drunk and high the night he pushed John B." I offloaded, "And I know he rememberers because when I was round my moms yesterday morning he saw me and he couldn't of gotten away sooner."

Sarah's jaw was dropped. It seemed she didn't really know Topper at all. I could see she was full of questions and I waited patiently as she spluttered on her words, "What—?" She managed to get out, "What the hell's been going on between you guys?"

Kie sighed, "I think there's a lot you don't know that's happened."

"Get comfy." I said, "This might take a while."

• • •

When the sun started to rise I still hadn't closed my eyes. It was painful, I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep. I felt mentally drained but not exhausted. I could not sleep — not even for a half hour and it was getting hard. I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to go without getting a decent amount of sleep every night.

I was scared I was already reaching some form of breaking point.

When the sun came up it shone and it woke Sarah and Kie up. We didn't know how long we'd be waiting around for the boys to come, hell they might leave us out here for another day and while we had patched everything up I physically couldn't sit here another day. I would jump into the marsh and swim home, I didn't care about jellyfish stings.

We were putting everything away, tidying up really when I stood up and had to sit down. I went dizzy. My head felt like it wasn't attached to my shoulders, I felt out of it.

"So we're going to pretend this didn't work?" Sarah asked, looking between us as she brought up our plan we'd formulated this morning.

I put JJ's hat on backwards and looked at the both of them, "That's the plan. They mess with us we mess with them."

Kie nodded and grinned, "Sounds good to me, we're not giving them the satisfaction of thinking that this actually worked."

I looked out at the marsh, contemplating jumping in for a quick swim to wake myself up but instead I saw the HMS Pogue approaching at a distance, Pope, John B and JJ sat in the boat. They all had sunglasses on, the glare on the water bright from the still rising sun and they looked smug as hell. I couldn't wait to wipe that grin off their faces.

"Well, well, well." I muttered, "Guess who finally decided to turn up to the party."

Kie and Sarah looked over in the direction I was and I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Looks like it's show time." Sarah smirked and we walked to the stern of the boat, Sarah and Kie sitting down on the edge. I stood up behind them, keeping my arms crossed as we watched them near us.

"Uh-oh, someone forget their keys or something?" Pope called over to us in amusement.

"You are getting them back for this right?" Sarah asked me, looking back.

I smirked, "Already got a plan."

"Great." Kie responded in amusement.

"You've gotta admit." John B said to us as they got to the edge of the boat, "It was kind of funny."

"Clearly you and I have a very different understanding of the term funny, John B." I replied, as unamused as I could sound without even looking at them. I was going to take this all the way down the scale to petty. After all, I was still kind of mad that they marooned me here with Kie and Sarah — even if it did work out for the best and we had a pretty good night together.

"Mastermind, huh?" Kie asked.

"I'm always plannin'." John B smiled.

Kie stood up unimpressed, "Some patriarchal bullshit."

"Yeah, that sucked." Sarah agreed.

"Still love us though right?" JJ grinned and even though he was wearing sunglasses I could feel his gaze on me.

"You guys think you're so fucking clever." I grumbled while rolling my eyes, "Shame you missed out on the fight."

"Fight?" Pope asked, his brows raising.

"Mal pushed Kiara off the boat." Sarah told them, using Kie's full name, and I pretended to shoot them a sarcastic grin. I was having too much fun with this.

JJ tossed the mooring line to us and Kie caught it, "Well I'm sad I missed it."

"So, you still hate me?" John B asked Sarah smugly as she jumped on to the Pogue.

"A little." She replied, "We're gonna get you back when you least expect it."

"Watch your back, boys." Kie mused, "Mal's got it all planned out."

"Well I welcome that challenge." Pope nodded.

JJ nodded, "Me too." He replied, holding out his hand for me to take while I readied to jump on to the Pogue.

I ignored his hand, as much as I wanted to take it and hopped on to the boat, "You won't when you're falling down that well to Mr. Crain." I replied smugly, patting JJ's chest.

The three gulped and I took great satisfaction in knocking their confidence but it was Pope who cleared his throat, "So, did you guys, you know—?"

"Reconcile our differences?" Kie asked.

"Mm-mm." Sarah shook her head.

"Not even close." Kie replied.

"But, we're.. willing to work together?" Sarah told them, looking to Kie.

"You know what?" John B said, "That's a victory."

"Yep." JJ agreed.

Pope looked to me and Kie, "And you two? Are you friends again?"

I pouted, "Why do you think I pushed her off the boat?" I asked and their faces dropped a little — their victory short lived.

"But after she pushed me in we.. worked out our difference of opinions." Kie told them and I nodded in agreement, "Doesn't mean we're on the same page about it all again."

Pope fist bumped John B, "Double victory."

"I agree." John B nodded.

"Hey you know why?" JJ grinned and Sarah, Kie and I shared smug glances, "Hydroponic."

"Don't say that." Pope told JJ.

"All right, shut up." John B said to Pope and JJ, "You guys ready to jack some loot?"

"Yeah whatever." Kie grinned.

"All right, get in the boat."

John B turned the engine over, the boat roaring to life and JJ turned to me. When he'd gotten this close to me I wasn't sure but I didn't mind the close proximity, "Have a good night?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I replied, looking up at him with my arms crossed, "All thanks to them shitly rolled joints you left us."

"Hey, they were not shitly rolled." He defended.

"No you're right." I agreed and I inched closer towards him, "I didn't even say thanks."

JJ took his sunglasses off and leaned in, "Come to think of it, I don't think you did."

I continued to lean in, my eyes flickering from JJ's to his lips and I placed my hands on his chest. I knew our friends were watching, JJ and I didn't care about kissing each other in front of them. I fisted JJ's shirt in my hands lightly and just when he got close enough to me I pushed him away.

I stepped back and watched as JJ fell backwards into the marsh, swearing in shock and I watched him submerge under the water with a satisfied grin.

Pope scoffed in surprise, "Wha—"

"No one messes with Mally Davis." John B laughed and JJ rose to the surface, absolutely soaking wet.

"What the hell, Mal?" He yelled at me, spluttering as he spat water out of his mouth.

"That's for trapping me under the cargo hold, Maybank." I replied as I looked down to him smugly.

I turned back to see Kie and Sarah grinning in amusement and I rose both my brows at Pope and John B, "You guys just started a war you'll never win."

• • •

A/N; I thought I had the ending to his book all planned out and then I came up with a different idea and now I seriously don't know how to end this.

I'm very torn.