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୨⎯ " 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆" ⎯୧
⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : stockholm syndrome - one direction
ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

I know they'll be coming to find me soon
But I fear I'm getting used to being held by you
Oh, baby, look what you've done to me

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

When Matt woke up to no text back from Gemma two days ago, he would say he was only slightly disappointed. Between rehearsing, playing shows, catching flights at all hours of the day and doing press on top of all that, he hadn't expected her to respond right away.

Since then though, he hasn't heard from her and it is really starting to get to him.

The unwavering anxiety in the pit of his stomach hasn't faded since Chris called her and now he's really starting to regret leaving that voicemail. There's every chance that she just simply hasn't had the time to call him or maybe she forgot, which would be fine if there wasn't a possibility that she did in fact hear the voicemail, didn't know how to respond to him and is now just avoiding him as an easy way to let him down without actually having a conversation.

Does that sound like something she would actually do? not really

but does he know her well enough to have a good enough answer to that? he would like to think so

Then he starts thinking about how they've only known eachother for three months and really, in the grand scheme of things, that isn't very long. He doesn't know her like Jade does or like Madi does or even like Finn does.

God does he not know her like Finn does.

He's heard the songs, he's seen the articles on the gossip pages, hell he's even seen old videos of those two when they were together. It feels like no matter what, he doesn't measure up in the way Finn did, he doesn't really know Gemma the way Finn does and when the occasional tiktok edit of the two of them come up on his feed, he is reminded every time that he is only one small part of the life she's lived and he hates it.

He hates that despite the fact that he feels like he knows her, he has barely scratched the surface of the person she is. He hates that he could just be wasting his time pining over her. He hates that for the past three months, there has been no one else in the world that he wants to talk to more. He hates that he let himself get caught up in false courage enough to say what he said and he hates that he feels this way.

His emotional spiral is interrupted by his phone vibrating on his desk next to him, his screen lighting up with a snapchat notification from Gemma. He quickly pulls his headset off his head and puts it around his neck and picks up his phone, opening the app to see a chat.

Matt feels like his heart is about to beat straight out of his chest when he opens it

gem
gonna be at the studio today so idk if ill be able to talk much :)

His heart sinks in his chest at the simple message and he puts his phone back down onto his desk. Was he expecting a full on confession where she tells him she's in love with him? definitely not. Was he expecting something a little more after not speaking for two days? yeah, actually he was.

No indication about whether or not she heard the voicemail, no phone call, not even a message telling him what she's been up to since they last spoke! nothing more than a simple 'idk if I'll be able to talk much'.

He hates that he just locks his phone and leaves her on open, hates it even more that he can't bring himself to send a simple 'okay' back to her.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

When Nick goes to Matt's room to ask him if he's ready to film, he finds him in the exact same position he was in almost four hours ago when he asked if he wanted some of the food him and Chris had made.

Matt is sitting at his desk with his headphones on watching a random YouTube video and doesn't notice his brother who just walked though his door until he's standing in his direct peripheral vision. He nearly jumps out of his skin when Nick taps him on the shoulder, his hand goes straight over his racing heart and he takes off his headphones when he realises that Nick has been talking to him.

"What did you say?"

"I asked if you were ready to film? Chris and I have been yelling for you for like, five minutes"

Matt pauses the video he's watching and goes to stand as he speaks "Yeah I'm ready, let me put my shoes on and we can go"

Nick gives him a questioning look "Are you okay? You look tired"

Matt pushes past his brother slightly to pick his shoes up and he sits on the edge of his bed to put them on "Yeah Nick I'm fine"

When Nick hears the distant tone of Matt's voice he decides that he's not going to push it for now and instead walks out of his brother's room and back downstairs to Chris in the living area. Chris is lazily sprawled out on the couch scrolling through instagram when Nick walks in with his shoes in his hand and he drops them at Chris' feet.

"Matt's just putting his shoes on and then we can go"

Chris nods and sits up to put his shoes on when Matt comes down the stairs with his keys in his hand

"Are you two good?"

He looks tired and his mood is written all over his face, Nick can tell he really isn't in the doesn't want to go film a whole car video but keeps the thought to himself when it's clear that Matt is also growing increasingly impatient with Chris and the lack of shoes that are on his feet. In an effort to diffuse the situation before it blows, Nick picks up Chris's shoes and beelines for the door with Chris hot on his heels.

"Nick what the fuck? I was literally putting them on!"

"Put them on in the car"

Chris's face scrunches up in mixed look of disbelief and confusion "Okay? but I can carry my own shoes"

When he makes a grab for them, Nick turns around and checks that Matt is out of ear shot before he speaks in a hushed tone "Matt clearly isn't in the mood to film right now"

The youngest triplet clearly isn't seeing where his brother is going with this as he speaks "...Okay? I can still carry my own shoes though"

Nick opens his mouth to speak when Matt honks the horn at the two of them and he looks at Chris with a pointed look before turning around and walking towards the door.

When Chris and Nick slide into their seats Matt rolls his eyes "Finally"

Chris whips his head around to look at Matt when out of the corner of his eye, he can see Nick shaking his head. Taking the hint for what it is, he settles for silently mocking his brother and distracts himself from the growing tension by putting his shoes on as Matt drives the three of them to the usual parking lot.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Nick was right. Matt really did not want to film tonight.

They've been here for the past 45 minutes and so far all they've done is argue. First it was Chris and Matt when Matt wasn't talking enough, then it was Matt and Nick when Nick tried to diffuse the situation and now its back to Matt and Chris after Chris spent a little too long answering a question about the aces.

"What the fuck is your problem Matt? I'm ranking their album, which is what this question asked me to do!"

"How long does it take to put songs in order? you don't need to give a whole fucking backstory about why you like the song. Just rank them and move on oh my god"

Chris looks back at Nick and then back to Matt before squinting his eyes and Nick knows exactly where this is about to go

"Are you fucking kidding me? First you're in a shitty mood when we want to film even though you knew we were, you won't answer any questions properly and now you're getting on my ass for doing what we're here to do!"

"You don't have to say all extra shit when you rank fucking songs, Chris! just say your favourite and move on!"

Chris drops his jaw and his eyes widen at his brother beside him as he reaches for the camera "Lets just fucking go home then!"

"Best thing I've heard all night"

Matt grabs his seatbelt with one hand turns the keys with the other as Chris turns the camera off and passes it back to Nick who, for the better half of five minutes, has been completely silent. After thinking about it, it's clear to Nick that it was the last question that tipped Matt over the ever-impending edge and that more likely than not, Matt's frustration wasn't directed as his either of his brothers despite the fact that even after the argument has finished, tension still finds its way into Matt's shoulders as he drives.

They sit in complete silence on the ride home and it follows them through the front door and the house like a shadow, the remaining hostility in the air almost makes it unbreathable as they all split off to their seperate rooms to get changed and go to bed for the night.

Nick walks out of his room to go to the bathroom when he runs into Chris in the kitchen who's looking in the fridge for something to drink. He stops and braces both of his hands on the kitchen island as he tires to figure out the right thing to say.

"Matt wasn't mad at you, you know that right?"

Chris grabs a water out of the fridge and closes the door "Doesn't make it any less unfair for him to blow up like that"

Nick nods in agreement and chooses his next words carefully "I know"

Chris untwists the cap of his bottle and takes a swig "He's been so pressed over the past couple of days for no fucking reason"

"I thought so too, didn't know if I should say anything though in case he was just having an off day and needed to get over it"

"well he's obviously not getting over it"

Nick tilts his head slightly and relaxes his face "Maybe he's just tired, I swear I've heard him up super late over this past like, week"

Chris shrugs his shoulders "Then he needs to have a fucking nap if he's tired, not take it out on us" he grabs his phone off the counter behind him and walks past Nick "I'm going to bed, goodnight"

Nick waves him off and continues to the bathroom; when he walks back to his room he sees Matt leaning back on the counter in the kitchen. At first, Nick doesn't do more than glance his way until he speaks up

"I shouldn't have yelled at you guys tonight like I did, there was no reason for it. I'm sorry"

Nick stops with his hand on the door handle to his room "Did you.. want to talk about it?"

Matt seems to think about it for a second as he checks the time on his phone, It's already late enough and he can see that Nick really does want to go to bed so he shakes his head "It's late and I honestly am really tired. In the morning?"

Nick smiles and nods his head "In the morning"

He watches Matt walk out of the kitchen and he walks into his own room ready to just pass the fuck out when he sees a notification on his phone

Instagram
averypicketttt sent a post by shaderoom
bruh what the fuck is this

💌
anyways

another shorter chapter than what you're used to but that's why I'm updating twice in one night lol (it's 1:57 am for me I need to go to BED)

this isn't rlly proofread sorry in advance

also when I wake up the triplets will have 3 million in SO EXCITEDDD 🫶🏼🫶🏼

lmk what u think, thanks 4 reading & I hope you're having a good week <3