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chapter three

━━ ✦ ━━

I trudge to my room as soon as I arrive at my dorm. After closing the door, I collapse on my bed.

I refuse to let any more tears out; matters something this small, or more likely expectable, isn't worth shedding tears over.

Instead, I choose to stare at my ceiling with a blank expression. Somehow realizing that my mind's elsewhere. I feel my bed sheets beneath me, so real, so cold, yet I don't feel connected to them.

I somehow don't feel connected to reality. Refusing to move, afraid that if I move a muscle, I'd break down.

Outside my window, a bird perched itself on a branch and chirps. Happily singing while another beautiful bird is close by his or her side, both of them sharing their joy together. I'm not sure if this set it off, but soon after the birds' action, the lump in my throat developed into a knot.

My lungs scream for oxygen. I start gasping over and over, yelling, 'get ahold of yourself' in my always overthinking head.

A tear involuntarily slides down my cheek, unable to take it anymore. The sound of my sobs fills the air. Not wanting my roommate to hear me, I hug my pillow tightly and scream the pain into it.

Eventually, those screams turn back into sobs. I start shaking, unable to control my own body.

What makes me halt my actions is a soft knock on my door, pulling me back into reality. "Yura?" He asks quietly. "Are you okay?"

Trying to compose myself, I state, "Yes."

But the crack at the end of my voice gives me right away. He opens the door, worrisome written all over his face as he rushes to my pitiful state.

He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close, gently rubbing my arm.

Despite the heaviness in my stomach, it warms up at the feeling of my body pressed against his.

I sink into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch makes the room warmer somehow, my future within its walls seems a little less bleak. Jimin strokes my hair while whispering, "What happened?"

Shaking my head slowly, I start to sob even louder, causing me to lay a hand on top of my mouth, an attempt to shut myself up.

"It happened again."

Those three words are enough for him to stop tracing his soothing hand down my arm. Glancing up, I can see his normally soft face tensing up, jaw clenching in slight anger.

"He did not," he whispers, trying to make himself believe that it didn't happen again, that I won't go through the same pain again.

Nodding my head softly, I wipe my never-ending stream of tears away. He decisively stands up, making me widen my eyes.

"No!" I yell from behind his figure, knowing too well what his plan is, following after him hastily.

Taking a hold on his wrist, I stop his actions, causing him to face me. "Please don't," I whisper beggarly.

He immediately softens as I open my mouth, tilting his head to the side in a saddened manner. "Let's talk," he states, taking my hand in his while leading me to our living room.

Before we could sit down, the doorbell rings many times. Jimin sighs while making his way back, knowing who that person is by their annoying way of knocking on the door.

"We don't accept trash," he murmurs while opening the door, closing it a few milliseconds later in her face, though.

"Then your ass wouldn't be in this house," she exclaims in disgust, putting her foot in between the doorway to stop him from closing the door.

He simply scoffs while walking back into the living room, Yin hot on his heels.

Arriving in the living room, Yin's playful expression immediately falters as she gazes at my tear-soaked face.

She rushes towards me, intentionally knocking off Jimin in the process. "Oops."

Wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug, she strokes my hair softly while whispering, "What happened?"

I chuckle dryly, pulling away. "Jimin asked and did just the same." I wipe my tears away, trying to look stronger than I currently do.

"Ew," she exclaims in disgust, "Don't ever compare me with that knob-head."

"I'm still in this room, you know." Jimin sighs, making his way right next to her.

I chuckle, trying to ease the tension within me, but many sobs follow right after, making me feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster.

Jimin and Yin glance at one another with furrowed brows, not knowing if they should laugh or cry, my swing of emotions confusing them.

After they watch me cry for a minute or so, both of them wrap their arms around me, embracing me tightly.

"Let's sit down and talk about it," Yin states, dragging me towards the couch.

"No, I don't want to talk about my feelings again." I sniffle, rolling my eyes. "I'm feeling okay," I state, the crack of my voice betraying me, though.

Yin coos as she pulls me down on the sofa next to her, hugging my head as if I'm her child. "I swear I won't kill that person," she promises quietly.

Jimin takes a seat next to us, gazing at me in sadness, already knowing what happened, even though I didn't tell him.

"J-Ji—" I stutter, unable to say his name after his disgusting actions.

She hums, signaling that she understands. "You love someone just like a hurricane," Yin speaks softly, her mischievous persona long gone. "As the storm blows in, your tears will fall like rain, consuming all the light and peace within yourself."

And for once, Jimin agrees with her statement, nodding his head while rubbing my arm up and down comfortingly.

"I just don't know why men always treat you the same way," Jimin whispers, hugging my side.

Yin sighs softly. "They don't appreciate you."

"I thought that he was different and more mature since he's older." I sniffle a few times. "But that was not the case."

"Age doesn't define maturity," Yin states. "Or the level of stupidity when it comes to him."

"I cherished him so much. I always supported him. Told him how much I idolize him. Or just how he seemed to be the calm to my storm."

When the tears spill down like water in a dam, I start to feel empty. I can't cry further even if I would want to.

Unfortunately, I have experienced this feeling before. The sadness is somehow still there, but not raw anymore, now it's an empty unhappiness, the kind that won't easily lift.

Even if Jimin would surprise me with the cutest kitten or if Yin would crack some jokes, I wouldn't feel a thing.

My eyes roam around my dorm as if I'm in a pit. My surroundings are exactly as I know them, but they give me no emotion, no warmth or coziness as they usually do.

How could that be? You need emotion to feel alive, to feel love.

"You know what?" Yin raises her voice as she looks up at Jimin, a mischievous glint shining in her dark eyes.

Jimin sighs. "God should rescue anyone that you'd like to harm right now. Because your ideas are never good to begin with."

"No! I swear this one is good!" She grins. "You'll agree on me with this one!"

"Sis." Yin looks down at me now, but my eyes stay on the floor, the emptiness not moving an inch, as if it's paralyzed.

"You better dress up and show that boy what he lost and what a real queen like you does." She tries to motivate me, but I stay unfazed in my seat. "You cried enough, now it's time for your revenge."

"Ooh," Jimin smirks evilly. "I like the way you think." He nods his head at Yin, leaving her proud by his statement.

"We'll do this now," Jimin states, standing up and dragging my lifeless body with him.

"I don't want to." I sigh, trying to free myself from Jimin's hold. "I just want to sleep until I die."

"You can do that tomorrow," Yin speaks from behind us. "But today is the day he'll beg you to forgive him."

They drag me towards my room, sitting me down on a stool, which is positioned in front of my make-up table.

"I'll pick up the perfect dress while you do her make-up and hair," he exclaims, clapping his hands happily.

"I swear to god if you pick something tight and short, Park Jimin—" I shout after him, coming to my senses again.

"I'm just doing God's work!" He yells back from my closet.

"Sit still and don't say anything." Yin grabs my shoulders, a small smile on her beautiful face. "You always look stunning, but you'll look ethereal after I'm done with you."

━━ ✦ ━━

The red sheets of the silk dress slip onto my shoulders, peppering my body with soft, sensual kisses. Like a lover, it seduces the senses and conveys with utmost skill the art of pleasing.

My ink-like hair is curled lightly, gaining the attention on my pastel light skin, which makes my lips stand out, the shade darker than a red blossom.

"Isn't this a bit too much?" I ask insecurely, nibbling on my lip as I gaze at my reflection in the mirror.

"What? No!" Both of them disagree in unison, smiling proudly while fist-bumping each other. "You look beautiful, with a glint of sexiness in it."

"You guys are so weird." I roll my eyes, a chuckle escaping my dark shaded lips.

"Call that cum-wipe now," Yin smirks, crossing her arms over her chest while leaning onto Jimin's side, who looks at the girl as he chuckles.

My hands tremble as I pick my phone up. Before I could dial his number, I throw it away. "I don't think I can face him."

"You're not the one who should be embarrassed to see him." Yin makes her way over to me, smiling encouragingly. "He's the one who cheated, he's at fault, not you, baby."

"I-I don't know." I shake my head, my eyes brimming with tears once again. "The last time that this happened, I couldn't face that person and—"

"And you completely regret it, don't you?" Jimin speaks in a soothing voice, smiling sadly. "This is your chance to cut him off, just in a badass way. Don't let him think that you're some vulnerable and fragile girl, you're much more than that."

The sigh that escapes my red lips is slow, as if my brain needs that time to process what had happened with our relationship, because of his actions. My eyes remain fixed on my bed, on the exact same bed we cuddled for many months.

On the exact same bed where we fought many times. He slept with another girl on another bed.

A bed is usually there to relax, find peace or make love. But a bed represents betrayal, disloyalty and sleepless nights to me. All because of him.

Burning rage hisses through my body like deathly poison, screeching a demanded release in the form of unwanted violence.

It's like a volcano erupting, fury sweeping off me like ferocious waves. The wrath consumed, engulfing my moralities and destroying the boundaries of rationality.

Swiftly picking the phone up, I dial his number and put the phone on my ear, causing Jimin and Yin to celebrate together in silence.

He answers the call. "Hello, princess."

I hold myself from gagging, that would only destroy my great revenge plan. "Hello, baby," I speak in a sensual voice, grinning to myself.

Him clearing his throat can be heard, he's probably caught off guard since we haven't had an intimate time together in a while.

"Could I sleep at yours tonight?" I continue speaking lowly, breathing into the phone. "I really missed you."

"Y-Yeah." He clears his throat again. "Of course. I'll wait for you here."

"Okay," I smirk victoriously. "Get ready, baby."

I hang up the call. "Get ready," I mumble to myself in a quieter voice.