18 | Melmenya

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Location: Dale, Middle Earth

Time: November 2941 T.A

Elrond's body grew cold the moment he recognised the very energy that expelled from the jewel.

Afterwards, he saw Illyria fall onto the ground, eyes rolling back, which snapped him from the memories and quickly got her back onto her feet. Her eyes were fixed staring towards nowhere, as her hands began to shake, and he quickly knew dreaded what the jewel had done to cause this.

This jewel, the very thing that had brought his own life like this, had returned. Out of everywhere and any time: it had to be this moment. He stayed silent, hoping that Illyria would return from her mind as soon as possible. Arwen had arrived at his side, keeping her head cradled until Illyria's eyes rolled forward and a gasp escaped her mouth.

He took a step back as he placed her upwards, though watched her shun her eyes away from the jewel with anguish in her face.

Walking over to her, Glorfindel asked her with concern: "Illyria are you okay?"

She glanced down and shook her head profusely, almost in desperation. "Take it away. Please..."

Elrond gazed at her and asked, "What happened Illyria?"

Blue frightened eyes faced him as she whispered, "You know why, Elrond."

His heart sank and he felt impossibly ten times wearier than mere moments ago. A shadow cast over his mind and Elrond could only watch Illyria race out of the tent and out into the city. Arwen had turned to look at him, her worry crossing her face as she silently asked if she should follow her. Elrond shook his head and thinned his lips.

This was ill news.

"That cannot be possible. They said they were lost in the sea, fire and air." Thranduil's gaze was of fury and a tint of shock.

The King of Mirkwood was not entirely wrong. His blood father held the jewel up in the stars whereas this jewel had been lost in the fire chasm with which Maedhros died with. The last one on the other hand, well: Elrond wasn't sure. It was speculated that he had disappeared into Middle Earth and chucked the jewel into the sea – though it had been stories, nothing confirmed by the word around Lindon or Imladris.

Atto...Maglor's disappearance was what lost his hope. However, it was Maedhros' own death that caused Elemmírë to lose her faith. They had been so close that they could have been brother and sister if they weren't trying to kill each other thousands of years ago.

However, what questioned him was how this jewel survived the time and conditions.

Glorfindel's face hardened as he said, "It did not burn. Not even in the fire." He continued, "It's been with the mountain for years."

Whilst there was a growing air of hostility, Arwen had excused herself to find Elladan and Elrohir whilst he was left to watching Mithrandir's own silent pondering. The maia must be deeply concerned, for this news of the Arkenstone be one of the three jewels forged by Fëanor.

"I don't understand, I thought this was the Arkenstone," Bard spoke with confusion, along with Bilbo Baggins.

Mithrandir darkly murmured, "That, Master Bilbo and Bard, is a Silmaril."

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When she left the tent, she hid.

It would be too simple to hide in the city, perhaps hide in the most desolated buildings in Dale or maybe sneak into Erebor just to keep her distance from them. Instead, Illyria had sat on the cliff edge – the mountain in the far left whilst the right was the valley heading down Esgaroth. Her feet dangling over the edge as she propped her hands onto the cold stone surface, the snow melting under her body heat.

For years she had learnt as hard as she could to get rid of those memories, and all it took again was that thing.

That stupid pathetic thing.

Illyria didn't know how to think or feel. Right then, she was buried into her mind, replaying those scenes in her mind which the Silmaril gave her. Her own screams echoing in the large halls as that deep and darkening voice made her spine rigid. How her body sucked in, her ribs showing under the little light there was. Her hair was loose and dirty as strands began to fall every moment.

Her own light clashing into the flames of the creature. The breath of the dragon catching her hands, burning her skin until they were black and charred.

She can still hear his screams along with her screams as the lava rose and bubbled. How the heat was slashing her skin like a sword. Watching him fall before all she could do was turn away before he could hit the surface.

At that moment, she felt someone approach her and knew easily who would come to her. Even if they arrived by her right, she did not move or tilt her head – continuing her gaze up at the moon.

He said quietly, "Here, you are cold." Sensing something covering her shoulder, Illyria glanced down at her arms and found what seemed to be his own cloak around her.

She quietly murmured, "Thanks..."

Elrond cut off the silence as he spoke quietly, "I know you do not wish to speak of it, but I cannot help you if you don't speak openly Illyria."

How was she supposed to speak of it openly? The Silmaril just gave her an entire episodic season's worth of trauma that she didn't need right now! Each memory getting worse every time.

Even then, Illyria's heart made her speak.

Gulping down the bile, she murmured in a dead tone. "I remembered them. Makalaurë and Maitimo." Her chest panged as those names filled her with pain. "All this time, I knew you so much longer than I thought."

That was what she was surprised by as well, the fact that she knew him way further back in history. She thought that in this universe, she would have met him during the second age or perhaps the beginning of the third age. But instead: they've been together for six thousand years. She had known him and his brother when they were just children.

The Havens and Ossiriand.

Illyria was there all this time, because of what Elwing asked her to do.

"She left you with me, and then they came." She ground her teeth against each other as she curled her fingers. "I was...I was so angry. So, fucking angry at them."

She was outraged at everyone. Not just Elwing for leaving her with the twins but for Eärendil. And then she was angry at the Sons of Fëanor for leaving them again at the end of the war. After being together, their entire personalities changing because of their influence – they still chose to give in to the Oath.

From Illyria's view, she could tell Elrond understood how she felt. Perhaps it wasn't anything new for him, having had to experience the loss as well. Fuck, what about Maglor. She knew even as someone who read it that Maglor had adopted him and Elros despite being hostages.

Elemmírë's presence had changed the course of the timeline. They would never stay with them for years, having gone to stay with the Edain instead to help with the war in the West. Instead, she had brought them up along with the Sons of Fëanor. She had been the glue to the complicated relationship they all had.

He spoke, "You never spoke about them and the First Age. What happened during the war. None of us did. Not after we lost...we lost them."

Turning her head to her side, she found him staring out into the landscape. Illyria questioned, "But why now? Why after I saw the Silmaril?"

Somehow, the jewel had made her memories re-surface and that was how she got these old memories. The energy of the Silmaril seemed to resonate along with hers, a similar aura that she wasn't sure if it welcomed her or terrified her. It was raw and powerful that even trying to put her mind through it, Illyria was scared to shit if it was sentient or something.

She hoped it was not sentient.

Fingers crossed it wasn't sentient.

If this was this world's version of the Infinity stones, she was going to yet off and find someone to break these mother feckers.

"I am not sure," Elrond answered truthfully, glancing back down her. "But our past was entwined with that jewel, far longer for you."

Illyria rose her eyebrows and didn't complain. She did somehow spend years with a dark lord who had a bucket head for a helmet that held two of the jewels. As well as that, Elrond's sperm donor had one on his crown too.

She muttered bitterly, "The jewel that united this place, but also divided it." Illyria snorted to herself and pointed out, "Honestly, elves and their jewellery, we need a better hobby."

In the corner of her eyes, she saw Elrond twitch his lips making herself feel her stomach flutter at his smile.

Illyria then faced him, turning her body around as she slipped off the ledge and back onto the ground.

Standing beside him, she gazed back onto the landscape. "I also saw you. You and your brother." Her voice cracked, emotion ruling her mind. "I watched you grow up in a war you shouldn't have needed to fight in. A war that was fuelled by that pathetic piece of shit. You...you were young. And-"

She could sense her eyes stinging, hot tears against the cold air as she clamped her teeth as felt her lips tremble.

"...Illyria." He began, though Illyria continued.

"Those years, I was so angry and alone. So many died. My brother, Ecthelion, Eärendil, Elwing and my people...Idril and Tuor left, and I wasn't wanted afterwards." Illyria's voice grew quiet as she murmured lastly, "I guess that was why I almost got tempted by them."

Elrond asked her, "What stopped you?"

She turned to face him and answered, "You did." Illyria continued, never leaving her eyes away from his own. "You went to save me. You and Elros when you shouldn't have. You went on a freaking death journey you knew the chances of coming back was so slim. Why did you do that?"

Swallowing his breath, Elrond gazed down at her as he revealed something she was not prepared to hear.

"Because Illyria, I cared for you more than what you believe it to be." He professed, "Your light and your passion were what brought me to love you. And I never stopped loving you after Angband."

Everything around her had slowed down as she felt her entire body freeze at the words.

Did she hear that right?

Elrond closed his eyes, his brows creasing as if he was remembering. When he opened them again, he explained: "When the war ended, I was...afraid. Afraid you would reject my love for you. And many times, I wondered why I came to love such a person who would rather act first than think." He stared at her as he whispered to her, "But no matter what, I never stopped. My heart was always yours, to begin with. It was only in Imladris which you finally found mine."

Illyria's mouth parted slightly, awed at what she heard. He had told her that he had loved her for so long. Longer than even she as both Illyria and Elemmírë had realised.

Oh god, she felt really bad now. Might be the best time to tell him the truth.

So, she tried to intervene as she called to him, "Elrond..."

However, Elrond was somehow determined to get his point across, "And you told me that you loved me, but you were afraid as well. Hearing from the bravest person I knew to be afraid with such a gesture shocked me."

There goes her heart malfunctioning. Butterflies shouldn't really be in her stomach either way.

The next bit had then broken not only Elemmírë - but Illyria's heart.

Whispering to her, Elrond carefully took both of her hands and clasped them into his own. "You may never love me as before, but I am willing to wait for you, Illyria Strange."

She wasn't what to say next. What do you say next after that? This elf, Elrond Peredhel had told he would wait for her. He would wait for her to eventually choose if she would love him back or not. Hundreds of years of waiting since her death he found her again, changed and so different.

And even then, he had chosen to wait for her.

Illyria couldn't breathe, struck not only by his word but by the effects of her guilt and the hidden affection she had for him.

But would he accept her even after waiting for so long?

As her hand began to rub circles upon the back of his hands, gazing up to him as she confessed herself. "Elrond, I know."

His eyes changed quickly as he echoed, "What?"

Okay, how was she going to explain this? And in the most Darcy Lewis way as possible: Illyria awkwardly summarised it all.

Biting her lip, she nervously smiled back, "I may...and maybe Arwen...have been lying to you. All four of you." Illyria's smile relaxed, softly speaking. "I know who you are to me, Elrond."

He gaped at her. "Is this because-"

"Yes."

Elrond's face morphed into guilt, and he opened his mouth to explain, "I-"

She tilted her head to the side and quirked her lips. "You could have told me. I would have handled it." A sigh left her mouth before she grinned, "But after that...I think I preferred hearing you say all those things."

Elrond took a deep breath, though his smile never faded away, "I...Elbereth." He shook his head in disbelief. "You will be the death of me, Illyria."

She rolled her eyes and spoke, "Admit it, Arwen and I are superior."

"You spent an entire month travelling with the twins and your brother, how did they not notice?" Elrond asked, wondering as well how she could have hidden the truth.

She looked idly and whistled "I may have just asked them too many questions. Honestly, they are good at it. I wonder where they got it from, hm?"

The question made Elrond chuckle, causing herself to grin back. She was glad that Elrond hadn't been too mad at her, perhaps understanding for both of their sakes. At least this was alright for them, and they both understood now why they have kept each other's past behind them.

Illyria simply put it with a shuddered breath, "You're right. If you did tell me then and there, I would have been terrified. I would have just fully denied it all and left."

"What changed your mind," Elrond asked her back, curious at her own side of the story.

With a brave face, Illyria confessed her own. "Liking you...again. I don't think it's because of Elemmírë loving you before." She looked back up to his grey eyes and murmured, "I think...it is real. That even Illyria Strange fell for you."

That had been a total understatement in the beginning. Or maybe she had been denying it ever since. But she couldn't hide it anymore. There was a pull to him, much older and stronger than what she intended it to be. The longing crush over the elven lord of Imladris was not only because of Elemmírë but it had been hers too. She had liked him as a person, someone who was calm and serene, who would keep those protected and yet act with concern and determination as ever.

Vilya perhaps even fitted his own character that opposed her reckless one.

Illyria admitted, "The reason I never told you as well is that I was unsure if you'd like me because you wanted her back or you'd like me – even I am what I am."

He raised her hand to him and Illyria hovered it until it cupped his chin. His cold skin under her hand caused her arm to grow numb. His free arm gradually took her in closer, his hand pressing gently on her back.

Their eyes never left each other.

Elrond spoke to her, "You are what you choose to be, melmenya."

The word had almost caused her to grin more. She was beginning to remember it. The feeling of him around her. The love and the tenderness. The laughter and the dislikes. Illyria had thought it would overwhelm her. Instead, the feeling of her heart to him welcomed her like a wave lapping against the shorelines.

Illyria slowly moved her thumb to rub against his cheek as she asked him, "Then you don't mind liking a human, Elrond Peredhel?"

A fond smile graced his face as he answered, "I've come to be fond of Illyria Ettelëa ever since I found her falling into my arms."

She said amusedly, "Somehow, I'm always in your arms." Illyria whispered, "I don't mind it though."

There was a moment of silence which they shared for a bit, allowing her to adjust her own worries and mind. A rational part of her told her that in a couple of days, the war would arrive, and the risks of death were imminent. Her time here could be coming to an end. She could be training or meditating or even sulking on her own.

In its place, she would gladly choose this more than anything. Her head against his chest, hearing the gentle thumps of his heartbeat as his arms encased her in an embrace.

The snow falling onto them gently.

She quietly asked him, "Can we stay here longer?"

Elrond answered her, "Of course, melmenya."

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Unfortunately, time was limited for them and Elrond needed to return with the host of Imladris and Lothlorien to prepare. He hadn't wanted to leave her side then (and so did she, secretly) as they both felt eager to be by each other's sides as long as possible. But they both understood now that since they've kind of resolved the biggest parts of their relationship – she needed to sort out the others.

That was when she arrived at the abandoned houses where the twins and Arwen had been. Before she did enter through, she went through her head and took a deep breath. She needed to do this correctly and probably in her own fashionable way. She couldn't exactly bluntly put it and forgetting the important bits.

She had thought of surprising them by doing the thing the guy did in Love Actually [1], but you can't exactly find big, massive cards here in Middle Earth.

In the end, Illyria did it the old fashion way and strode inside finding the trio sitting on the floor with their legs crossed. She pretended to put a concerned strict expression, causing both the twins to rise and hover to her.

Elrohir was the one to ask first, "Lady Illyria, what is wrong..."

In honesty, she didn't plan at all what she was going to do. So, in instinct, she threw herself at the two – giving them the tightest hug around their torsos.

With a muffled tone, she said, "You are in so much trouble."

When she pulled away, she was met by Elladan whispering to her, "Nana...you remember?"

She grinned back, "Enough to know you're both my sons."

What made her chuckle was Elrohir's sigh in relief, "Finally, I thought we would have to lie!" He smiled widely at her, "I felt rather rude calling you by your name, Naneth."

Her body did a little jerk as she inwardly hid the awkward reaction to that. She pointed out, "Again, hearing the word mother when you are both older than me."

Her sons and daughter (yeah that's going to get some used to, again) stood around her. However, it was both her sons who clung to her like a limpet. Honestly, they were two grown elves and were clinging to her like they were children.

Welp, they were good body warmers.

As soon as she arrived, Elrond had somehow found them in the following moments afterwards.

"It would seem I have found you all together." He said with a softened gaze at her and their children.

Arwen walked over to Elrond and folded her arms with a glint in her eyes, "I'm glad you finally told Ada." She added, "Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn have been waiting."

Elladan and Elrohir froze and gaped back. "You knew?" Elladan pointed at her with narrowed eyes.

"Of course, I knew. Nana and I decided to give you what you deserved, after what you all have tried to evade her questions." Arwen prompted, causing the twins to go look a little meek.

She winked back at her daughter whilst smirking back at Elrond. He couldn't say anything, serves him right along with Glorfindel and the twins.

Elladan muttered under his breath, "Alright, perhaps we should have told you when you asked."

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Whilst Elladan and Elrohir went to practice with Arwen on meditating, she finally had some time on her own to think for a bit. She had spent the past hour and a half listening to her children of their stories, of their memories together as a family. Elrond had listened as well, commenting in certain bits as he sat with Arwen whilst she sat between the twins.

"I thought you would be happier to know most of your past, Illyria." Her brother wondered.

Illyria found that blonde elf taking watch at the highest vantage point, clearly unaffected by the cold as she was shivering like any other human being here. November in Dale and Erebor was equivalent to the Alps or Everest and at least her robes were warming her enough. However, her face could say the opposite as she felt her skin form a layer of frost.

She nudged her left elbow at him and grinned, "Aw, glad that you know my preferences brother." Sighing aloud, she stretched out and relaxed, "And yes, I am happy. But now I realised how much I meant to someone. Before, just being Illyria: I lost so many important to me for a short time. It is odd to imagine that I have family who lost me."

Her voice grew quiet, remembering how much she had. It wasn't foreign to her to feel that she meant something to someone, she had her dad for that. Stephen Strange, the man who had accepted her as his own. Then it had been Darcy then Uncle Wong and then Tony Stark.

However, Elrond and the children were in other cases. They had known her before as someone who experiences hundreds of years of sorrow and grief and pain. She came to realise now that the dreams she had that were so painful as a child was her own.

How the Ancient One knew then...Illyria just had to assumed she had foreseen it. Or perhaps she knew something else. She might have to look up to that when she returns.

Glorfindel had a fond smile on his face as he spoke, "I felt like that when I arrived here to Middle Earth. You were the only one that was the happiest to see me. You were practically stuck to me an entire century until Elrond swept you away to Imladris." He changed the subject and asked, "Speaking of Elrond, you have spoken to him?"

"I have. You are in much trouble for hiding the fact that I'm married!" Illyria exasperated, and it did not help her when Glorfindel grinned wider.

He assured her, "I was only following Elrond's advice, nésa. Though I am glad you've gained the memories you needed."

With a grim look, she corrected him: "I haven't regained every memory as of yet." Illyria elaborated, "And we agreed that we will take it slowly."

Glorfindel groaned and shook his head, "Oh Elbereth, not again. You said this the last time!"

Her eyebrows rose through the roof as she swatted his arm, "Hey! I can't be going around kissing elven lords who now have fully grown children!"

"You're already married!" Her brother exclaimed,

She pointed back, "You mean Elemmírë. Not Illyria." She gave him a smug look. "Illyria is currently courting an elf."

Glorfindel rolled his eyes and responded, "I had hoped Illyria would have been less patient in these sorts, especially as a human."

"Oi!" She gaped. Where did this cheek come from? Totally not from the Lord of the House of the Golden Flower. Lord her ass.

Despite seeming to be annoyed, Illyria heard her brother chuckle before he hugged her at the side.

Glorfindel sighed heavily and said, "I miss you, little sister. But with war looming-" He trailed off, staring out to the mountain.

Illyria paused for a moment to recollect herself. This was it; the battle was coming and just after she had discovered a family she felt so close to.

When she first travelled with Bilbo Baggins, Illyria didn't even think of growing attached to anyone. Now she had a brother, a husband, and her children. Not to mention her dad, Darcy, Uncle Wong, Harley, and Morgan.

She did her best to swallow the worries down, tracing her hands down to the pendant Estel had given her. Illyria had decided to wear it now around her neck as a way to feel connected to the little boy who was also part of Elrond's family. And now was a part of hers.

She glanced up to him and spoke, "We will get through this alive. With my information, hopefully, we can persuade the two races to get their problems aside."

That information involved a certain hobbit and her own hypothesis. It might work, it might not. Though with Glorfindel already looking like he was stressing out because of her, she was not to reveal anything else her plan she was going to do tonight.

"You are uncertain." Glorfindel glanced at her as he pointed out.

She did not need to lie about that. "I am. I'm just worried if something does change, how would that affect the future."

"Don't think too far ahead, Illyria. Just be content for the present." Her brother told her, and Illyria decided for once to follow his advice.

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[1] - Love Actually: A Christmas themed Rom-com with that scene that had Kiera Knightley.

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A/N: Aaaaand we finally made it! Ha! Also, don't get mad that they haven't kissed yet. Jesus they just met and she's having identity issues. Give the girl a rest. But let me tell you, the temptation to just have her confront Elrond way back in the past chapters was so high. 

However, I chose it to be this chapter for her to confront him because it felt like it was the right time? I mean it's Battle of the Five Armies the morning after so probably the only time for them to finally know.

Next chapter we get back on track on the incoming battle and the Dragon Sickness that follows.

Edited: 07/10/2021