Written: Christmas of 2021

Warnings: suicide, depression

Hasn't every little Christmas wish been sent?
Has sugar plums been dancing in your head?

I hope the holiday will find you well
Oh Noel

"I'll be back!"

Dallon began to rush the front door, pulling his coat on as he ran, eager to get outside in the snow.

"Where are you going?" His mother, who just peeked out of the kitchen, Asked.

"Sledding!" He said, leaving his hand on the doorbell as he looked at her.

"Well, make it fast," She Said. "The turkey's almost done."

"Okay!" Dallon Exclaimed, opening the door.

"And be careful."

"Okay."

He ran out of the house, shutting the door behind him.

He picked up his new sled, tucking it under his arm as he lifted up his bike, brushing the powdery snow off it before running it out into the street, where he hopped on and began pedaling, avoiding all icy spots in the road.

He rose down to the park, where his favorite hill for sledding was. When he got there, it was empty, just as he liked it. He knew the families of town were sitting at home, enjoying their new gifts and eating the meal that took hours to make.

He laid his bike down on the ground, then dragged his sled up the hill. Once he made it up, he looked around, admiring the Christmas lights each of the houses on the block were adorned with.

A small smile dusted his lips as he looked back down at the hill, mentally planning out the perfect angle to sled down.

His thoughts were interrupted, though, when he heard the soft crunching of snow. A small, shy voice, brow though the sound of the cold wind.

"Are you sledding?"

I met you in December '93
Noel been staying up the block with her mothers family

"Uh...Yeah.." Dallon mumbled out, causing you to smile a little.

"Can I join you?" You Asked.

Dallon's lips curled into a smile. "Sure."

For two straight weeks we ran through snow
And kissed beneath the mistletoe
And swore our love in secret company

"You'll come back every Christmas, right?"

You bit her lip. "If my parents come back." You looked back at Dallon. "I'd come to see you, of course."

Dallon smiled a little.

During The last two weeks, he had become quite fond of you. The two of you had spent a lot of time together, but now it was time for you to leave.

The both of them looked down at their snow covered boots, but only Dallon looked back up, gazing at you.

"Can I kiss you?" He Asked softly.

You looked up surprisedly, but somehow remained composed.

"Okay.." you mumbled, your breath visible in the cold winter air.

Dallon swallowed, nodding a little as he leaned down, closing his eyes as he gave you a quick peck on the lips.

You both looked down immediately after, a slight blush dusting your pale cheeks.

"Well...see you later." Dallon looked back up, giving you a soft smile.

You smiled back. "Bye."

Hasn't every little Christmas card been sent?
Has every child been tucked into their bed? 

I'm hoping that this song will find you well
Oh Noel

Ten years later, Dallon rushed around in the kitchen, helping his mother with the dinner that they ate each and every year.

The two spoke about nothing really, a little conversation about his new life here and there, or talk of his job, or the band he had recently joined. Nothing really stuck, until he heard a certain name come from his mother's lips.

"You know that Y/N girl?"

He had immediately looked up, dropping the fork he was holding.

"Y/N?" He asked.

"Yeah, that girl you were friends with." She Said. "Sounds like she's back in town."

Dallon smiled a little. "I'll have to drop her a visit." He said. "It's been almost ten years since she wrote me a letter."

"If she wants a visit," His mother mumbled. "Apparently things haven't been great for her."

Dallon, who had just bent down to pick up the fork, straightened out, tossing the fork in the sink. "What do you mean?" He asked, a perplexed expression on his face.

"Well," She sighed. "Her parents got a divorce a couple years after you guys met. Just recently her best friend committed suicide.."

A decade passed
And letters all but died
Ten years that saw her folks divorce
And best friend's suicide

"Oh.." Dallon Said sadly, looking down. "Well...maybe she needs some company?"

"Maybe."

While Dallon was in town, he happened to run into you once or twice.

The first time, he smiled, lifting up his hand and waving a little.

To his surprise, your expression grew sad, and you only walked away.

I'd see her on occasion
Looking pale and petrified
I'd wave but she would only turn and cry

It wasn't until the night before you'd be leaving town that he saw you again.

You knocked on his door just as you had ten years ago when you had to tell him goodbye.

He stepped out, a smile growing on his lips when he saw you.

"Y/N." He beamed. "Hi."

You smiled a little. "Hey, Dal." You Said, then looked up at the sky. "I'm leaving town tomorrow...I just wanted to say goodbye."

"Oh.." Dallon's face fell a little.

There was silence for a few moments, before you broke it by clearing your throat.

"Do you still have that sled?" You Asked.

Dallon smiled a bit. "Mom and dad kept it in the garage."

You chuckled a little. "Well, why don't we go sledding?" You Asked. "For old time's sake?"

The two of you sledded down the hill at the park for hours, not giving any mind to how cold and dark it was getting.

After a while, you decided to go your separate ways.

You stood together at the top of the hill, the snow falling around you.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." You mumbled.

"I guess so.." Dallon sighed. "Listen, it was nice seeing you. We should do this more often."

The sad expression from before returned to your face, but you took a deep breath, letting a soft smile adorn your lips. "Yeah."

It stayed silent for a minute or two, before Dallon leaned in, letting his lips connect with yours.

The two of you kissed for a moment at the top of the hill, before you walked away from each other.

The embers in the fireplace are dead
The late night news reports are being read
They found you in some dirty cheap motel
But oh well
Oh well

The next morning, Dallon came downstairs to find his mom crying, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief she always kept in her pocket.

"Mom, what's wrong?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.

She swallowed. "Oh, Dallon.." She Mumbled, turning to her worried son. "I'm so sorry.."

"For what?" He Asked.

"Y/N," she spoke your name again. "They found her in her hotel.."

Seeing the expression on his mom's face, his eyes widened.

"No.." he muttered. "No, she wouldn't.."

"I'm sorry, Dallon.."

Dallon swallowed back the lump in his throat. "No.."

She reached her hand for her son, but he turned, running towards the front door.

He rushed outside, and just ran, avoiding the icy spots on the road so he wouldn't slip. 

He ended up at the park, and continued to run until he made it up the hill.

Once he reached the top, he collapsed to his knees, beginning to sob quietly as he brought his hands up to cover his face.

Why would you do such a thing?  Why did it have to happen to you?

Dallon mentally cursed himself for not ever being there for you. After all those years, he had hoped he had that since. He was just too late.

Noel
Noel

Even years later, your name even being spoken brought tears to his eyes, and every year, he felt the same sadness he did that very day.