11 | Sea-longing

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And so comes the end of Elemmire's life in Gondolin...but comes the continuation of Elemmire's tale. Because of course, it is not the end. No. This was just the beginning...

...Which the small light of a city finally escapes her cage for the world to see who she truly is.

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Location: Encircling Mountains, North Beleriand, Middle Earth

Time: 510 F.A

They built him a grave.

It was hardly a grave at all, not even fit for the Lord of the House of the Golden Flower.

It was Celebrimbor who suggested filling his grave with celandines, and she agreed: bringing as many of those flowers to cover his grave in which his body and sword laid. Whilst she bore no musical talent such of her people, she sang as Idril followed. They all sang for those who fell and the city that had been their home for four centuries. [1]

They had lost so much despite saving as much as they can. But even then, she would forever be damaged in seeing her brothers fall – her home fall with them.

They stayed where Glorfindel's body rested and Elemmírë stayed staring at his grave for as long as she could. Until Hestondur glided over to her, speaking softly. "He did what he has vowed in his entire life."

She said in a blank tone, "They left me." She turned to him, new tears falling over the dry ones. "I have only my brother's house left. Hestondur..."

The Noldo-Vanyar firmly replied, "And we will follow you, Elemmírë."

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Location: Nan-Tathren, South Beleriand, Middle Earth

Time: 511 F.A

They had been in Nan-Tathren for several weeks. They had just finally made it to some sort of safety, where the orcs roaming the north were not a threat to them and they were allowed some peace during the evenings. [2]

It had been a year since the Fall of Ondolindë. Months after it, they had mostly been trying to recover. Those who were injured could not travel were healed as best as they could, though more had sadly perished during their harsh travels. Those who couldn't wield a weapon were also those who fell, despite what they could do.

As for her: she had changed. No longer there was laughter coming from her, less than it was Voronwë or Celebrimbor making jokes or Idril retelling as much of their times running about Ondolindë. She had finally taken her spot as the leader of her house, with the help from Hestondur and her own knowledge, she found them safe places to camp and told those which plants and herbs were safe to eat or use.

Elemmírë continued to train, more than the times she had in the city. Whilst she wasn't caring for Eärendil with Idril or pouring through maps with Galdor, Egalmoth and Tuor: she was sparring with Celebrimbor and Voronwë. She would use as much as her magic to fight, learning more of what her powers could do every day. If an attack would come to them soon, she was going to be prepared and better than ever before.

Instead of taking information and knowledge and skill, she gave what she can to everyone. Because she knew that was what those who died would want her to do. For their people to be remembered; to not be forgotten over time in a dark world that was quickly growing in darkness.

She knew the darkness was growing within them as well, with whispers flowing through her people. About the Sons of Fëanor, about the second Kinslaying. And they all turned their heads away from her friend.

One morning, she was breaking her fast with him as she explained – map on the table. "If we go further south, we will reach the Havens." She hummed to herself, "I believe it will be a good place to settle."

Hearing a sharp breath, Celebrimbor said, "People are not happy with me still here."

She glanced to her right, seeing the pain in his eyes and the shame. Shame for his name and family. Elemmírë spoke firmly, "Tyelpe...Celebrimbor." She corrected herself before she continued, "You are not your kin. You are much more than them."

There was another exhale of breath, and that was where Elemmírë stood up and went over to him.

He stared down at her, quietly asking, "Do you know why I stayed all these years?"

There was silence for a few second, her eyes trying to search for the answers in his face. Elemmírë answered slowly, "Because you couldn't leave, of course."

He chuckled a bit, "And yet I could have snuck out." His hand went to hers, surprising her with her warmth. There, Celebrimbor whispered to her: "Elemmírë, I stayed because of you."

As her breath hitched, her heart had skipped a beat. Did she hear him right?

Blinking in astonishment, Elemmírë called to him in a whisper, "Tyelpe..."

He sadly smiled at her as he said, "And I know you do not share the same love for me." Celebrimbor professed: "But I would like for you to understand. That I give my heart to you, for your love of the stars is much the same as my love of creating such things."

Never in her entire times with him had she known that the very elf in front of her had loved her. He did something that no one else had done to her – give a part of his heart to her. Elemmírë had come to care for Celebrimbor, though only as a friend. Someone who she confined within her darkest days, to allow herself to be vulnerable.

But to her, she couldn't give the same part of her heart to him as well – and he knew it despite the pain it would inflict on him.

Her hand carefully smoothened over the top of his hand, her eyes never leaving his as she gulped, "Tyelpe...you have been such a good person to me." Elemmírë softly said: "You have been patient and kind and I am sorry I never realised that you have thought of me like that. But I love you, just not the way you hoped it to be."

A thousand emotions went through his mind. She could tell that his mind was going, trying to divert away from the pain in his chest as he tried to form another smile. "And it is good that we are friends." Celebrimbor said, "I hope one day we meet again. When the light is shining, and peace is here."

There was genuine happiness, at such a grave time, in both of their faces. Elemmírë looked at him, leaning in to press a kiss on his right cheek. As she pulled away and let go of his hands, she watched his hand linger over where she kissed upon his skin.

His eyes lit up slightly, as he now bowed his head and finally said those words she didn't want to hear. "Namárië, Elemmírë."

Swallowing the bile to rise, she placed her hand over her chest. The traditional gesture of their kind. "Namárië, Celebrimbor," Elemmírë responded before he left the tent to possibly begin heading out of the camp.

She would not know then that she would meet Celebrimbor many years later. When the war that was to come would be done, and what is left of their people were little and sparse.

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Location: The Havens of Sirion, South Beleriand, Middle Earth

Time: 525 F.A

She could smell the sea, the sound of the waves gently greeting the coastline mixed with the seagulls flying in the air.

Elemmírë would never have guessed that she would come to see the ocean in her entire life, knowing only that she would only hear of it in stories and the sketches Voronwë showed her. She believed her entire life would be in Ondolindë, being the lady of a house, to potentially become the best loremaster of the city and perhaps even in Beleriand. She would grow older, perhaps finally meet the other half of her heart to another or maybe choose to love her craft of maps and stars.

Perhaps she would have accepted Celebrimbor's hand, maybe grow to love him as much as he did to her. She would be sure at least that he would love her equally and affectionately as he could, protect her against the dangers of the world. Her brothers: Glorfindel and Ecthelion; they too would be there beside her. With Voronwë and Idril and Tuor.

Instead, here she was seeing the ship by the docks – preparing to sail west.

But not her. Not yet.

Where her brother should be standing, Elemmírë stood there instead along with Galdor and Egalmoth. They – along with Tuor – were the last of the remaining Lords of Ondolindë. The Gondothlim of the hidden city.

For many years now she refused to wear the colours of her house; she knew wearing them will just remind her of her brother and what was left of him. But today, she chose to show herself in the colours of the House of the Golden Flower. A green dress lined in gold and yellow. Her cloak was golden, with the patterns of celandines laced around – hiding her swords in her belt. A silver circlet adorned the top of her head, with golden flowers and green leaves.

As she brought her eyes up, she looked over at the three faces looking at her. Voronwë gazed at her with a sad smile, hugging her tightly before he placed a kiss on her forehead. One of her childhood friends will finally depart from her for the final time.

When he stepped back, she glanced over to Tuor and nodded her head at him. Despite not knowing him for long, he had been everything worth of a friend to her. During the years in the council, he had aided her as a just and respectful lord to Ondolindë. But more importantly, he had been a good husband and love to the very friend she would now lose.

She took a step towards Idril, her eyes never leaving hers as she brought herself to smile. Her friend had worn exactly the very clothes they once ran around in, though only incorrect now that she was wearing shoes. Her neck now bore a simple brooch, where the Elessar should be. Her sword, Hadhafang - was now passed down to Eärendil and any of his heirs.

Idril spoke softly, "Just over two centuries ago, we would have been running around our home like it was just us in the world." She continued, "And now here we are."

"Here we are," Elemmírë echoed.

Her face held a mixture of sadness and happiness. A bittersweetness that they both knew had to come at some point in their long lives. As Idril, Voronwë and Tuor would sail to Valinor for pardon and plea to the Valar: Elemmírë stayed.

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Idril asked, her voice cracking slightly. But as a princess and the last ruler of their house: she remained strong. "There is a space for you. And with all the things you've done to my house, our house..."

Shaking her head, Elemmírë murmured, "I've listened to my mind. Whilst my fëa longs to see Valinor in my eyes, I think there is still more for me here in Middle Earth." She swallowed down the threats of sobs. "This world is still in darkness and I don't want to leave our people."

"You never felt the sea-longing, did you?" Idril wondered.

"No. It always irked my brother and anyone else who spoke of it." She gave her a side smile as she explained, "Sometimes I want to know, but sometimes I think I won't even know if it's a place I will call home. Home...is with you. Friends...family."

And yet they were leaving her. Leaving Middle Earth one last time. Her home would be going, whilst she continued forward.

"Helcaraxë."

Out of nowhere, Idril said the name – causing her to furrow her eyebrows.

"What about it?" Elemmírë asked.

"You...you were just a babe. I...when my mother died. We were afraid you would perish as well from the harsh weather." Idril's eyes were beginning to glisten, her hand reaching to grasp hers as she continued, "Instead, you lived through it. You were the only child who lived. It is why you were called Fealassie. The joyous spirit that longed through the cold."

"Why can't I remember it?" Elemmírë whispered back.

Idril pondered for a moment before answering, "I'm not sure. Did Laurefindelë ever tell you of your parentage?"

"Not to my knowledge." She replied, her finger lacing around Idril's. "When I ask, he always speaks of them so fondly. I do not like to speak of them, not when he was there. It always hurt him."

The tears begin to slip her cheek as Idril told her: "One day, I'll ask him for you. Or perhaps your parents." She glanced slightly behind her, and asked: "Take care of my son, will you? He thinks of himself as so grown-up...but he's just a boy. But the pull isn't so much for him and Elwing yet."

She knew Idril was looking over to where Eärendil and Elwing were. Her godson now. He too would be watching his parents leave him. Too young...

So, she promised in her mind that she would do everything to keep him safe. To keep the line of Idril safe and protected. It was there she even swore; swore to the Valar to protect any of Idril's descendants no matter what.

"I'll take care of them," Elemmírë promised. She realised now she had been crying ever since. "I love you nésa."

Embracing Idril, she heard her whisper in her ear. "I love you too, little nésa."

And thus, as she watched the ship sail over the horizon: Elemmírë had stopped her tears from falling. Part of her spirit was gone, the one only dedicated to her sister and her best friend.

The name Fealassie was no more...only Elemmírë will she be known.

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[1] - Celandines: A yellow flower that grew in the lands of northern Beleriand and is based upon the symbol of Elemmire and Glorfindel's house.
[2] - Nan-Tathren: The Land of Willow is a region near the Mouths of Sirion. Fame for its willows and meadows, it was a desolate land. Perhaps inhabited by Ents.

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A/N: And so it is done. Fealassie is complete and we now catch up basically to the present date of what's happened with Illyria/Elemmire in the main storyline. Of course, there is the Second Age but I'm waiting now for September for Rings of Power to come out. I want to try and imbed some of the things that could happen in the series (despite my hesitation on whether or not it might be good but who knows.)

I'll explain more in the post-credits what comes next so keep an eye out for that. :)

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Edited: 09/07/2022