That morning, I left Mehmet’s chamber with a quiet smile tugging at my lips. The kiss we had shared the night before still lingered in my thoughts — soft, warm, and unlike anything I had ever known. It was a moment too beautiful for words. He had been gentle, speaking to me in low, soothing tones until I drifted to sleep in his arms.

When I awoke, he was gone — already called away to his duties. But beside me, I found a small note in his elegant handwriting:

“I didn’t want to wake you, you looked so peaceful. I’ll leave a kiss on your cheek and be on my way. Take care of yourself.”

My heart fluttered as I folded the letter. For a fleeting moment, I allowed myself to believe in something tender, something pure.

But reality came crashing back far too soon.

As I walked through the quiet corridors back to the harem, a rough hand suddenly clamped over my mouth. Panic surged through me as I was dragged into a shadowed corner, my cries muffled.

“Stop struggling,” a voice growled near my ear. The man looked like a palace guard, but his eyes held no loyalty — only warning. “I was sent to deliver a message.”

Wide-eyed, I froze, still unable to speak.

“They send their regards,” he said with a smug raise of his brow. “And they expect you to follow instructions — immediately.” His expression hardened. “You know the consequences. I don’t need to remind you.”

He let go of my mouth at last. I raised my hand, pointing a shaking finger at him. “Touch me again and you’ll lose that hand, you filthy bastard.” I shoved him aside and added coldly, “There’s no need for threats. I know exactly what I must do.”

He gave a satisfied nod. “Good. Smart and beautiful.”

I clenched my jaw. “Don’t call me that, you idiot.” I took a step back, steadying myself. “Find me poison or something. It’ll be easier that way.”

He smiled — unsettling and amused. “I’ll see what I can do.”

I shot him a final glare before walking away, heart pounding. The fragile illusion I had wrapped myself in with Mehmet had shattered. Now, the weight of my mission pressed down on me again. I couldn’t afford love. Lives depended on me, and I couldn’t let myself forget that — not even for him.

By the time I entered the harem, I had forced my face into calm. The women were gathered for breakfast, their chatter filling the room. I had no desire to speak to anyone.

But, of course, the one voice I dreaded most broke through the noise — sharp, smug, unmistakably Eylem.

I sighed, turning toward her with a glare. “I don’t have time for your games today. Stay out of my way.”

She gave a slow, mocking smile as she approached. “As if I’m thrilled to speak with you.” Leaning close, she whispered in my ear, her tone venomous. “I was told to do this, but don’t worry — I’ll have my revenge on you soon.”

I stared after her, completely stunned. What was this crazy woman playing at?

“I’m sorry, Mary,” Eylem suddenly declared loudly, loud enough for the entire harem to hear. “I want to apologize for what happened a few weeks ago. I don’t wish for there to be any enmity between us.”

My eyes widened in disbelief. Was she really apologizing? In public? This wasn’t like her at all.

But I should’ve known there was more.

“I’ll soon become a sultana,” she added with a serene smile, her hand resting deliberately on her stomach. “And my new position doesn’t allow for petty conflicts, no matter who the other person may be.”

Ah. So that was it. She wanted to appear gracious — the picture of kindness and composure — right after whispering threats in my ear. And she claimed she was being forced to do so. Could this all be coming from Hürrem Sultan?

I offered her a pleasant, practiced smile, masking the unease boiling under my skin. Without a word, I turned and made my way to my room.

But the moment I stepped inside, someone followed me.

A girl I had never seen before slipped into the room. Young, composed, and unfamiliar.

“Mary Hatun,” she said.

I raised a brow. “Who are you?”

She offered a polite smile and gestured toward the door. “Please come with me. Safiye Sultan wishes to see you.”

I blinked in surprise. “Me?”

She nodded once, firmly. “Yes.”

Still processing what was happening, I followed her through the corridor, my heart pounding. What in the world was going on today? One bizarre moment after another.

We didn’t walk far before arriving at Safiye Sultan’s chamber. It wasn’t as vast as Hürrem Sultan’s, but if I had to describe it in one word — magnificent would be it. Regal, elegant, breathtaking. Everything about it reflected power and refinement.

The woman herself was no different.

I bowed deeply, keeping my gaze to the floor until I heard her speak.

“Good morning, Hatun.”

I lifted my head slowly. Safiye Sultan sat gracefully, poised like a queen of a European court. Her beauty was sharp, but her presence — commanding.

“Good morning, Sultanim,” I said with as much composure as I could manage.

A faint smile tugged at her lips as she leaned back. “You must be wondering why I summoned you.”

I tilted my head slightly, trying to remain respectful. “Even so, it is an honor to be in your presence.”

She said nothing for a moment. Then, in a calm, measured voice, she added, “I saw you crying yesterday… as you left Hürrem’s chamber.”

I swallowed, unsure how to respond. “Yes, Sultana.”

“I’ve noticed your strained relationship with her,” she went on, eyes narrowing slightly. “And many other things. I have ears in every corner of this palace.”

A chill ran down my spine.

“I want to warn you.”

Before I could process her words, she stood. I quickly lowered my gaze again, unsure what was expected of me.

“I see you have respect,” she said, her steps slow as she approached. “And I return that respect to those who stand beside me.”

Her hand rose gently beneath my chin, lifting my face so our eyes met.

In that instant, I saw it — the depth, the wisdom, the weight of history in her gaze. She wasn’t just a powerful woman; she was a force carved from the palace itself.

“But there is something… unusual about you,” she said, voice soft but deliberate.

I cleared my throat, suddenly uneasy. The words barely came out.

“What do you mean, Sultanim?”

She waved her hand dismissively, a small, knowing smile on her lips. "Really, I don’t care. If I want to know something… I will." Then she turned away, gliding back to her seat with quiet grace. "But be careful," she added over her shoulder. "Hürrem, her daughter, and that foolish little Eylem—they’re plotting to get rid of you."

My eyes widened. The words struck me like a whip. "Truly?" I gasped.

She nodded slowly, her expression grave as she sat back up. "Yes. Be cautious…" Her eyes narrowed slightly as she studied me. "Remind me again—what is your name?"

Despite the anxiety knotting in my chest, I forced a smile. "Mary, Sultana."

A faint smirk curled her lips.
"Mary… A lovely name. But," she paused, tilting her head as if seeing me in a new light, "it no longer suits you. You’re the prince’s favorite now—and judging by the enemies you've made, your future is already casting a long shadow."

She was right. When powerful people begin to see you as a threat, it’s no longer a question of survival—it’s a declaration of war. And yet… I feared I would disappoint this formidable Sultana. I saw no real future for myself in this place.

I nodded politely, concealing my unease behind a smile. "Whatever you see fit, Sultana."

She lowered her eyes, thoughtful. I waited in silence, watching as she searched her mind for a name that would mark my transformation.

Finally, she looked up at me, her voice calm. "Nurgül. It means shining rose. It suits you."

The name echoed sweetly in my mind. Nurgül. Beautiful. Delicate. A name for someone I didn’t feel like… but perhaps someone I could become.

"Thank you, Sultana," I whispered, stepping forward. I bowed low and gently kissed the hem of her dress.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

The rest of the day passed in a haze. I remained in my chamber, lost in thought—about Eylem’s forced apology, Safiye Sultan’s warning, and the shadows gathering all around me. Was she sincere in her caution, or did she merely want me in her grasp to wield me as a weapon against Hürrem?

Word had spread—Mehmet was clearly drawn to me. And now everyone expected I would bear his next son. A cruel irony… I had longed to meet someone like him, but not here, not like this.

I sighed.

They would keep sending their pawns, their threats, their manipulations. I had no real protection—only the illusion of it.

Just then, the door creaked open, and Ayşe and Alice stepped inside.

"Our little lover," Alice teased, strolling toward me. "So? The prince vanished for a whole month, and suddenly you spend the night with him?"

Before I could respond, Ayşe grinned and interjected, "Ah, it’s love, girl. He’s smitten!" She winked. "You really do get everything you want."

Confused, I furrowed my brows.
"What are you talking about?"

Alice giggled, clapping her hands like a delighted child. "You wanted Eylem to apologize, didn’t you? Well, she did. In front of everyone. Completely humiliated. You, my dear, are brilliant!"

My head spun. "I don’t understand…" I murmured, my voice hollow.

Ayşe’s eyes widened. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit beside her.
"You didn’t know? Everyone’s saying it—Şehzade Mehmet forced Eylem to apologize to you, publicly."

Shock stole the breath from my lungs.
He knew I was upset… and he avenged me.

I wanted to hug him. To thank him. But I also feared the growing tenderness I felt. If he continued showing kindness, I would become weak—and weakness had no place in the mission I came here to fulfill.

The door swung open again, this time revealing Fahriye Kalfa. She looked me over and scoffed playfully. "At this point, I’m practically your servant, Mary."

I shook my head, correcting her with a soft smile. "It’s Nurgül now." I gave her a puzzled look. "But… why do you say that?"

Everyone stared at me, stunned.

"You changed your name?" Ayşe finally asked.

I let out a tired sigh. "Not by choice. Safiye Sultan gave it to me."

Fahriye gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth. "Ya Allah… and what will Hürrem Sultan say?"

Alice groaned and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You absolute fool. Do you have any idea what feud you’ve just walked into? This started before you were even born."

"I swear, I want nothing to do with their rivalry," I said quickly, then turned to Fahriye. "What is it? Why did you come?"

My question seemed to snap her out of her shock. "Şehzade Mehmet is waiting for you. In the garden."

At this hour? It was nearly nightfall… still, I jumped to my feet.

"I’ll be late because of you all," I muttered, grabbing a mirror and checking my hair.

Alice adjusted the folds of my dress, inspecting me like a tailor. "Alright, you’re perfect. Go."

As I stepped out, I didn’t head for the garden right away. Instead, I made my way to the palace kitchen.

I couldn’t trust my heart tonight. I had to rely on reason. On strategy.

I moved through the kitchen chatting about trivial gossip with the servants, blending in, making them laugh—then, without anyone noticing, I slipped a small knife beneath my dress.

I walked slowly through the palace corridors, my eyes alert, heart racing.

And then, just as I reached the garden, I felt a hand slip over my shoulder.

Before I could scream, I knew.

It was him.
Mehmet.

"You scared me" I said as I put my hand over my heart after I turned to him.

He looked a little worried "I'm really sorry I didn't mean to" He put his hand on my cheek "Are you okay?"

I'm really not okay, what I'm about to do will kill me.

I tried to fake a little smile "Yes, it's just I've always been afraid of the dark"

He smiled a little and said in a calm voice "Don't be afraid, I'm with you" His voice and words really pierced my heart, making me want to hold his hand and scream that this man is mine and I really want to be by his side for the rest of my life.

Without realizing it, I found myself hugging him without saying anything.

He ran his hand through my hair "I wanted to take a little walk under the stars with you" He moved away a little "Just you and me"

I moved my head while holding his hand "That's really a good idea" I started walking beside him and I felt like I was going to collapse and cry at any moment, he trusts me and doesn't know that I'm going to take his soul in a little while.

After a long silence, I looked at him and said "I really wanted to thank you"

He turned to me "Why?"

I lowered my eyes "You made her apologize to me" I sighed a little "You really don't know how important it is to me"

He smiled then stopped walking "I know, that's why" He ran his fingers over my cheek "I wanted you to be happy and to know how important you are to me"

I moved my head with a smile as I looked into his eyes then we started walking again, this time I deliberately took a few steps back while he was in front of me putting his hands behind his back and telling me a lot of things related to his work. I turned to make sure that no one was there then I put my hand on the knife that I had hidden well under my dress, I took a deep breath trying to hold back my tears then I pulled the knife out a little.

I felt the tension taking over my entire body, physically and mentally of course, I was very close all that separated me from succeeding in my mission was stabbing him a few times.

"I talked to my father about something very important" he said without looking at me, that's what pulled me out of my thoughts, God, I can't do this, he didn't even do anything wrong, his voice is making me weak, why am I so bad...

I hid the knife again and tried to pretend to be calm "What is it?"

He stopped walking then sighed deeply, it must be something very important, he turned to me then said "About going to Manisa"

I feel my hands shaking, I don't understand anything that's happening now, I quickly said "All I know is that they're trying to protect you"

He nodded in agreement "I know, that's what everyone says, but I have to go, I wasn't supposed to spend my whole life here"

I was silent for a while thinking about his words, he must feel like he's not good for anything because they keep protecting him like he's a princess or something... I raised my head and held his hand "And what happened?"

He started to get annoyed and said "The same thing he says every time, he will think about it"

I moved closer to him "I hope you get what you want and I hope you nothing bad will happen to you"

He looked at my eyes in surprise "Why are you talking as if you won't be with me" He raised my hand and placed a gentle kiss on it "You will stay with me whether here or there, whether I'm a şehzade or a sultan" He placed another kiss on my forehead "I really want you to be my sultana, and to give me many children, Mary"

His words made my feelings change, I want the same thing but I can't get it.

I put my hand on his cheek "I will be with you through thick and thin" I smiled "I promise you that" I wanted to change the subject so I said in a joking way "And my name is no longer Mary"

He looked at me in surprise "Why?"

I placed a kiss on his cheek "Safiya Sultan changed my name to Nurgül"

He raised his eyebrow "Safiya Sultan?" He smiled slightly "Do you know what your name means?"

I nodded "Yes, the shining rose, she said that I am really shining"

He took my face in his hands "It really suits you" He smiled in a charming way "You are the light that illuminates my path" As soon as he finished his sweet words, he placed his lips on mine and began to kiss me in a way that was even sweeter than his words.

"You scared me," I whispered, placing a trembling hand over my heart as I turned to face him.

His expression softened with concern. "I'm so sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you." Gently, he brought his hand to my cheek. "Are you alright?"

No. I wasn't. Not even close. What I was about to do would tear me apart, piece by piece.

I forced a faint smile. "Yes... it's just—I've always been afraid of the dark."

His gaze held mine, warm and reassuring. “Then don’t be afraid,” he said softly. “I’m here with you.”

Those words. That voice. They pierced straight through my defenses. Every instinct in me screamed to grab his hand, to tell him that he was mine and that I wanted nothing more than to walk by his side forever.

Before I could stop myself, I stepped into his embrace and rested my head against his chest.

His arms circled me with quiet tenderness. “I thought we could walk under the stars tonight,” he murmured. “Just you and me.”

I looked up, nodding as I laced my fingers with his. “That sounds perfect.”

We began walking, our steps light against the gravel path. I felt the weight of every breath. My heart pounded in dread—he trusted me, and he had no idea I was meant to destroy him.

The silence between us was long, almost sacred. Finally, I broke it. “I wanted to thank you.”

He glanced at me. “For what?”

“For making her apologize,” I replied quietly, eyes lowered. “You don’t know what that meant to me.”

He stopped walking and turned to face me fully. “I do know. That’s why I did it.” His fingertips brushed my cheek, his voice thick with sincerity. “I wanted you to feel safe. To know how much you matter to me.”

A real smile tugged at my lips. I could see it in his eyes—he meant every word. We resumed walking, this time with me a few steps behind him, letting his voice fill the night as he spoke of duties, pressures, things that pulled him away from the palace.

My fingers drifted toward the knife hidden beneath my dress. I paused, glancing over my shoulder to be sure we were alone. Slowly, silently, I slid it from its place. My breath caught. I could barely stand. All that remained between me and success was one step… and the will to strike.

But then, he spoke again.

“I talked to my father today,” he said, not turning back. “About Manisa.”

His words jolted me out of my daze.

I swallowed. “I heard… it’s for your protection.”

He nodded. “That’s what they all say. But I can’t be protected forever. I wasn’t born to stay sheltered behind palace walls.”

I could feel the frustration simmering in him. He wanted purpose. Freedom. Respect.

I took his hand gently. “What did he say?”

“The same thing as always,” he muttered. “That he’ll think about it.”

I moved closer, squeezing his hand. “I hope he lets you go. And wherever you go… I hope you find peace.”

He stopped and looked at me, puzzled. “Why do you speak like you won’t be with me?”

His fingers lifted mine, pressing a kiss against my skin. “You’ll be by my side. Whether here or in Manisa. Whether I remain a prince or one day become sultan.”

Another kiss—this time on my forehead.

“I want you to be my sultana, Mary. I want us to have many children together.”

His words struck something raw and aching within me. I wanted that too. But how could I take what I was never meant to have?

I cupped his face with both hands, masking my despair. “Then I’ll stay through the storms and sunshine, no matter what.” I smiled, trying to shift the moment. “But my name is no longer Mary.”

He blinked. “It isn’t?”

Leaning in, I kissed his cheek. “Safiye Sultan gave me a new one. Nurgül.”

His brows lifted in amusement. “Safiye Sultan herself?”

I nodded. “She said it means ‘shining rose.’ She said I’m shining.”

He tilted his head, his smile deepening. “She’s right.” He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “You are the light that guides my path.”

Then he leaned in and kissed me—not with hunger or haste, but with gentleness and meaning, like his words had melted into the press of his lips.

And I let myself drown in it, even if just for a moment… even if it would be the death of me.